I’m so tired after work this week that my bullshit tolerance level is at like… a zero. And between driving to work at 5:45 tomorrow and my dysfunctional ass family I’m visiting I might just snap if I see some stupid shit.
me: *always eats at the same places and always orders the same food* *social behavior doesn’t come naturally to self* *has hyperempathy* *has trouble expressing feelings/matching facial expressions to emotions* *has awful body coordination/struggles w/ simple instructions regarding hands-on tasks* *gets upset w/ a minor change in routine*
me: *writes small scripts for ordinary social interactions to avoid anxiety* *stims/cannot keep still* *likes certain things so intensely that it frightens self/could talk abt those things all day* *is confused by how some ppl always know what to say or do most of the time* *has trouble making and keeping conversations*
me: *didn’t realize a friend was invinting me to her sister’s birthday party when she sent me a picture of the invitation bc she didn’t explicitly say so* *is naive/childlike* *easily distracted to the point of dissociation* *was teased during childhood for being too uptight/teacher’s pet* *emulates fictional characters/other people in terms of personality* *used to repeat words randomly as a child/still does that as a young adult, esp. words in other languages just bc “they sound pretty”*
me: *is baffled when ppl express interest in spending time with me* *has poor time management skills/ is a serial procrastinator* *deeply dislike certain textures/sounds/smells* *is photosensitive* *is considered weird by friends and family* *has unusual manneirisms*
me: ok so i may THINK that i am autistic but what if i only think that bc i want ATTEntiON???????
As children, internalizers [of emotional neglect] tend to take on the role-self of the rescuer, feeling a responsibility to help others even to the point of self-neglect. Their healing fantasy always involves the idea ‘It’s up to me to fix this.’ What they can’t see is that they’ve taken on a job nobody has ever pulled off: changing people who aren’t seeking to change themselves.
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD
For a split second I relive [it]. My heart begins to race, and a tidal wave of pain comes crashing back. An incredible, inconsolable sadness overcomes me. The sadness is so great it suffocates me. I can barely breathe as a deluge of tears stream down my face. My hands become hot and red and tremble with fear. I try to control the shaking by clenching my fists, but I cannot make it stop.
I am alone. No one can help me. No one understands, and I am plagued by the senselessness of it all. Just for a split second, I am home again.
“No One Said Life Was Fair” a poignant and humorous memoir about growing up in an alcoholic family by Mary Kate DeCraene.
I see sooo many posts showing support for those who have abusive or absent fathers so here’s one for those of you whom have mentally ill mothers who didn’t raise you right because they couldn’t.
This is for you, the ones with moms that suffer from bpd, ptsd, anxiety, depression, addiction, etc. The mothers that always go out, and the ones that never leave the house. I’m sorry she kept you sheltered growing up because she’s afraid of the world. I’m sorry for every name she ever called you out of anger and all the crying fits she made you feel responsible for. For all the times she scolded you for buying the wrong thing or not putting the dishes away correctly. I’m sorry you had to listen to her as she screamed at you at the top of her lungs as you begged her to leave you alone. I’m sorry you can’t open up to her. I’m sorry she can’t see what a blessing you are. I’m sorry she can’t be proud of you no matter how hard you’re trying, but I am. I’m proud of you.
You’re doing great, and you deserve to be happy and to be supported. It isn’t your fault that she is the way she is and you can’t fix her. Whether she refuses medication or abuses it, it’s not your fault. When you start to notice her illness rubbing off on you, it’s not your fault.
You’re more than good enough and it’s going to be okay. I promise.
Adult children don’t visit often enough? Seem weirdly guarded and closed-off when they do?
Here’s an idea: not turning every visit into a dramatic referendum on their entire lifestyle! Instead of tearful/screaming “interventions” about their every choice, complete with reality-show-style soliloquies about “I’ve tried so hard, so haaaard, but I can’t sit and watch this go on,” you just have a nice visit and let them live their life!
Being the child of an alcoholic is like being the only person awake in the back seat of a car, while the rest of the occupants sleep peacefully—the car careens out of control and flies off the side of a cliff.
“No One Said Life Was Fair" is a poignant and humorous memoir about growing up in an alcoholic family by Mary Kate DeCraene.
It’s almost Father’s Day, time to reach out to your emotionally distant garbage fire of a clonedaddy who created you in a lab and subjected you to cruel experiments in the name of vague science! Or don’t. Don’t do that.
Just a collection of self-indulgent doodles based on a post-pacifist scenario where @zarla-s’ handplates Gaster comes back from the void somehow and everyone remembers him again, which causes a ton of drama but mostly dysfunctional family shenanigans.
In the first one Papyrus is teaching Gaster how to drive, though halfway through it occurred to me that Gaster might not be legally able to drive what with his lack of depth perception. Oh well, something being an insanely bad idea has never stopped him before. Sans is there to offer moral support.
I call the next one “Just Hug Your Son You Piece of Shit Trash Man”
neil josten paints his nails bright orange and uses a white nail pen to draw on everyone’s jersey numbers - he does the monsters on one hand himself: #8 on his thumb, #2 on his pointer finger, #5 on his pinky to piss Aaron off, #3 on his middle finger obviously because that’s Andrew’s response when he sees it and “no #10 isn’t on the ring finger because I’m basically married to Andrew stfu Nicky”
he gets Allison to do his other hand with the upperclassman starting with #4 on his thumb “because Matt is literally ‘thumbs up’ as a human being”, #1 goes on his pointer finger, #6 on the pinky in memory, Allison rightly draws #7 on his middle finger and puts #9 on his ring finger in no way copying exactly what Neil’s left hand means “stop being in denial Josten”