dysfunctional family

Repeat after me:

Well meaning parents who constantly hurt you aren’t good parents

Well meaning parents who constantly hurt you aren’t good parents

Well meaning parents who constantly hurt you aren’t good parents

It doesn’t matter if they mean well, or they love you, if they constantly hurt you, physically or otherwise, they are not good parents, and you deserve better.

“Satsuki Kiryuin is anything but ordinary”!!

Satsuki makes a clear point to Ragyo that she is “anything but ordinary”. This is a very true statement. She has never actually had a peaceful or healthy environment to grow up in. She was born to be used as a test subject for Ragyo’s life fiber experiments. When she was 5, her father told her everything about life fibers, her “dead” baby sister, and how evil her mother actually was. That’s a lot for a kindergartner to take in. After her father’s “death”, she began to plan her coup.

She was undercover from ages 5 to 18. In that time, she had to mourn her “dead” father and baby sister, take constant molestation from her own mother, set up a high school for the sole purpose of assassinating Ragyo, and gain the loyalty of all the students at Honnouji academy. When Ryuko showed up, everything changed. She had to adjust her plans to involve Ryuko and Senketsu in the fight. She never could’ve imagined that Ryuko was the sister she had spent almost her whole life mourning.

When Ragyo is finally gone, she feels that she has no purpose. She had worked her entire life to stop Ragyo from achieving the Cocoon Sphere Genesis, and to get revenge for all the bad things Ragyo did to her. When she finally succeeds, she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She had no normal life to go back to. She then falls into a depression and has very little value for her life.

That was until Ryuko swooped in and gave a speech about letting go of the past. That was the motivation Satsuki needed to snap out of her slump. She realized that she could finally live and make goals for herself. She says to Homaru: “I want to build a world where people can have their differences and still live together in peace”.

Satsuki was finally able to break free of her past and move on, like Ryuko said. She had found a new purpose in life and was going to work hard to achieve her new goals.

I’m no fanfic writer, but I’d like to think that Satsuki went on to become a very powerful politician. Maybe even the Prime Minister of Japan or something like that. I don’t know, that’s just my opinion.

me: *always eats at the same places and always orders the same food* *social behavior doesn’t come naturally to self* *has hyperempathy* *has trouble expressing feelings/matching facial expressions to emotions* *has awful body coordination/struggles w/ simple instructions regarding hands-on tasks* *gets upset w/ a minor change in routine*

me: *writes small scripts for ordinary social interactions to avoid anxiety* *stims/cannot keep still* *likes certain things so intensely that it frightens self/could talk abt those things all day* *is confused by how some ppl always know what to say or do most of the time* *has trouble making and keeping conversations*

me: *didn’t realize a friend was invinting me to her sister’s birthday party when she sent me a picture of the invitation bc she didn’t explicitly say so* *is naive/childlike* *easily distracted to the point of dissociation* *was teased during childhood for being too uptight/teacher’s pet* *emulates fictional characters/other people in terms of personality* *used to repeat words randomly as a child/still does that as a young adult, esp. words in other languages just bc “they sound pretty”*

me: *is baffled when ppl express interest in spending time with me* *has poor time management skills/ is a serial procrastinator* *deeply dislike certain textures/sounds/smells* *is photosensitive* *is considered weird by friends and family* *has unusual manneirisms*

me: ok so i may THINK that i am autistic but what if i only think that bc i want ATTEntiON???????

For a split second I relive [it]. My heart begins to race, and a tidal wave of pain comes crashing back. An incredible, inconsolable sadness overcomes me. The sadness is so great it suffocates me. I can barely breathe as a deluge of tears stream down my face. My hands become hot and red and tremble with fear. I try to control the shaking by clenching my fists, but I cannot make it stop.

I am alone. No one can help me. No one understands, and I am plagued by the senselessness of it all. Just for a split second, I am home again.

—  “No One Said Life Was Fair” a poignant and humorous memoir about growing up in an alcoholic family by Mary Kate DeCraene.
As children, internalizers [of emotional neglect] tend to take on the role-self of the rescuer, feeling a responsibility to help others even to the point of self-neglect. Their healing fantasy always involves the idea ‘It’s up to me to fix this.’ What they can’t see is that they’ve taken on a job nobody has ever pulled off: changing people who aren’t seeking to change themselves.
—  Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD
Being the child of an alcoholic is like being the only person awake in the back seat of a car, while the rest of the occupants sleep peacefully—the car careens out of control and flies off the side of a cliff.
—  “No One Said Life Was Fair" is a poignant and humorous memoir about growing up in an alcoholic family by Mary Kate DeCraene.

PARENTING PRO TIP:

Adult children don’t visit often enough?  Seem weirdly guarded and closed-off when they do?

Here’s an idea: not turning every visit into a dramatic referendum on their entire lifestyle!  Instead of tearful/screaming “interventions” about their every choice, complete with reality-show-style soliloquies about “I’ve tried so hard, so haaaard, but I can’t sit and watch this go on,” you just have a nice visit and let them live their life!

It’s so counter-intuitive, it just might work!

you guys ever think about in trk when ronan was being unmade how adam noticed declan was calling ronan’s phone and that meant something terrible was probably also happening to matthew. you guys ever think about how declan was helpless watching one of his brothers die and knew it meant ronan was dying too and he would be the last living member of the family he had given everything to protect. you guys ever think about that

I see sooo many posts showing support for those who have abusive or absent fathers so here’s one for those of you whom have mentally ill mothers who didn’t raise you right because they couldn’t. 

This is for you, the ones with moms that suffer from bpd, ptsd, anxiety, depression, addiction, etc. The mothers that always go out, and the ones that never leave the house.  I’m sorry she kept you sheltered growing up because she’s afraid of the world. I’m sorry for every name she ever called you out of anger and all the crying fits she made you feel responsible for. For all the times she scolded you for buying the wrong thing or not putting the dishes away correctly. I’m sorry you had to listen to her as she screamed at you at the top of her lungs as you begged her to leave you alone. I’m sorry you can’t open up to her. I’m sorry she can’t see what a blessing you are. I’m sorry she can’t be proud of you no matter how hard you’re trying, but I am. I’m proud of you. 

You’re doing great, and you deserve to be happy and to be supported. 
It isn’t your fault that she is the way she is and you can’t fix her.
Whether she refuses medication or abuses it, it’s not your fault.
When you start to notice her illness rubbing off on you, it’s not your fault. 

You’re more than good enough and it’s going to be okay. 
I promise.

silence isn't a virtue

silence isn’t a virtue
but sometimes it is
when you yell at
your daughter about
how much you wish
she wasn’t born
knowing that those
words are going to
give her issues
enough for a lifetime
and some more

silence isn’t a virtue
but sometimes it is
when you praise 
your son even when
he is full of failure
in front of your 
daughter with medals
around her neck
and trophies by her 
bedside dying to
hear how proud you
are of her