Please stop acting like self dxing severe mental illness is some cute label you can just slap on to “identify yourself”. Mental illnesses are just as serious as physiological. They have complications and they negatively affect all aspects of your health. They do not exist in a bubble. You wouldn’t self diagnose cystic fibrosis or coronary artery disease and then refuse medical attention, insisting that self diagnosis solves your problem. When untreated mood disorders or anxiety disorders can lead to psychosis. I have seen people hospitalized in a catatonic state or drop out of school/work and require severe intervention just to undo what months or years of lack of treatment accumulated. Please please please try to seek help if possible. Visit your local community mental health center. Look into what free/discounted counseling is available, even if it is just group therapy or support groups. Grad programs at local universities may offer free or discounted services if you allow supervised psychology students to provide treatment. Most colleges/universities offer free therapy (limited or unlimited) with licensed psychologists. Look into what your parent’s insurance covers or if you are able to get on Medicaid. Don’t just say you can’t afford it!! Your health is important!!

(TLDR; I recognize the usefulness of self-dxing as a first-step tool, but just how it is dangerous to attempt to treat diabetes or heart disease on your own, you really should be getting check-ups and professional monitoring/treatment for your mental illness. There are resources out there. )

MC as a hitwoman hired to kill the bidders part3 ~his POV (Eisuke)

I wasn’t going to make it this large Dx, in fact I was going to put all the characters together … but since I got a bit carried away, anyway I guess its better this way, I hope you like it
any spelling/grammar mistakes sorry Dx and for the crappy story please forgive me DX

Eisuke- It had been a month since I discovered that ______ was actually a hitwoman, I had been suspicious of whether she had been hired to kill me or not, her bank account revealed nothing, and even thought I have given her too many opportunities I was still alive.
I talked to Soryu about it and he told me that he would look into it in the week that I was gone due to work. The night I returned I recived a message from the mobster telling me to go to his headquarters so he could talk to me about ______’s situation 
When I got there I found out that it was empty, a sightly bad feelig run throuh my spine. I entered to Soryu’s office and I found him in the floor, unconsious
“Soryu!” -I yelled, I was about to go see if he was still breathing when I voice that I knew too well stopped me 
“Don’t move” -_______ ordered, she was sitting in the boss’ chair, pointing me with a gun, I…. I didn’t want to believe it, the only woman that managed to make me fall for her was doing this?, for a moment my mind got blank
“Wow, I must say Ichinomiya, the extra fee I payed for being here, just to see that surprised look on you was money well spent” -I didn’t recognized the stupid bastard who was talking, but, by the way he was doing it, it seemed that he was enjoying himself, I didn’t have time for him though, my thoughts were only on her, only in one question
“Why? Do you still hate me after all?” -it was stupid and kind of pathetic of me to ask this, but I wanted to know…. if it was really imposible for me to be loved
“…” -she looked at me in the eyes for a moment, as if she wanted to tell me something and after some indecision she finally spoke with a sightly sarcastic tone- “yes, sorry, but…. what you did to me and my family was unforgettable. Besides, its not like I fell in love with your kind smile and sweet slepping expression…” - ‘well that description wasn’t really necessary idiot’ I thought
The man that employed her get in front of me looking to me as if he was looking a filthy bug, I didn’t even knew who he was, most likely that he was just a commoner that had won some money and now wanted to feel superior. I didn’t bother to look at him, but ______, she was something else, so I allowed myself to get lost in her big and beautiul eyes, ‘I must have it bad to be thinking that in this kind of situation’ that was what passed through my mind.
The man made a signal to _____ and she nodded
“on your knees if you could be so kind”- her voice sounded a bit tired, I obeyed her just because, to be honest I was still in shock, since I had been hoppig to not to be her target. The noisy man stood almost in front of me, between us
“go on _____, pull the trigger and stop his misery”- he said, I looked at him with disgust at the same time I kept my poker face.  Through the corner of my eye, I saw Soryu moving, inmediately I make up a plan to get out of this, the filthy man was still looking at me, greedily waiting for the shoot that ‘would end my life’ but of course… I wouldn’t let that happen
______ aimed at my head, and with a focused look in yer eyes, she shot.

Keep reading

I know there are a substantial amount of ppl with DID in the age regression / kidcore communities. out of curiosity I want to know if the majority is self dxed or professionally dxed (I am pro self dx so don’t feel invalid if you’re self dxed). if you have DID, could you pls reblog if you’re self dxed and like if you’re professionally dxed? thanks

Mason and the meds didn’t mix well. Everything just kind of went to shit in a matter of days. He got super depressed. Ugh. I hate that I even thought it would be a good idea. I should have listened to my gut.

However, it was only a few days. It’s over and I won’t always question it.

After thinking myself to the brink of insanity, I’ve come to the conclusion that he is just fine. He’s the same kid that he was before his dx.

I have made several changes at home though. I had to realize that I can’t parent him the same way I did Christian. With Christian I never censored his music. His games. Anything really. He is a great kid. He’s kind. He’s respectful. He’s never one time been in any trouble at school. Gets excellent grades. He’s never given me a reason not to trust him.

With Mason, I’m going to have to turn into my mother a bit. Both of my kids have rules. I never really had to give Christian rules. I guess I thought maybe Mason would be that easy. No. No he’s not. He’s just as wonderful. He’s funny. He’s smart as hell. He’s silly crazy about cats. He’s a hugger. The kid hugs everyone he sees. When he was three he insisted that myself, his dad, new step mom and the fun vacuum engage in a friendly “group hug” every time they picked him up or dropped him off. So…we did.

Don’t get me wrong. My kids both have rules. They are just a little spoiled maybe? I hate even saying that. I guess I’ve just been so afraid of turning into my mother that I dropped the ball at times.

He. Just. Needs. Rules. I have to be the strict parent. He is too much like me. He’s as wild as they come.

May all the forces be with me.

This is turning into a whiny kid blog. I’m aware of how boring it is but it’s so therapeutic for me.

anonymous asked:

i self dx'd myself with bpd after years of researching it and even then i still feel like i don't belong because i'm more of a "quiet" borderline i guess? i definitely go through all the emotions and ups and downs and relationships are hell for me but i don't show it. i've had to hide my emotions because of my family but i don't know. i feel invalid a lot of the time even though bpd makes the most sense for me. also, no professionals will diagnose me b/c i'm more of a quiet type so idk :/

me too. you’re still completely valid.

Academic Articles - Super-wiki
This Page Needs Updating. Badly (2/~)

Refereed Articles

Åström, Berit. 2010. “Let’s get those Winchesters pregnant”: Male pregnancy in Supernatural fan fiction. Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 4. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2010.0135

Blake, Linnie. 2015. All Hell Breaks Loose: Supernatural, Gothic Neo-Liberalism and the American Self. Horror Studies, 6: 2, pp. 225–238. http://dx.doi.org/10.1386/host.6.2.225_1

Brennan, Joseph. 2014. ‘Fandom is full of pearl clutching old ladies’: Nonnies in the online slash closet. International Journal of Cultural Studies, 17(4), 363-380. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/1367877913496200

Brennan, Joseph. 2016. Queerbaiting: The 'playful’ possibilities of homoeroticism. International Journal of Cultural Studies. http://dx.doi.org/10.1177/1367877916631050

Bruce, Melissa N. 2010. The Impala as negotiator of melodrama and masculinity in Supernatural. Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 4. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2010.0154

Chan, Suzette. 2010. Supernatural bodies: Writing subjugation and resistance onto Sam and Dean Winchester. Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 4. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2010.0179

Engstrom, Erika, and Joseph M. Valenzano, III. 2010. Demon hunters and hegemony: Portrayal of religion on the CW’s Supernatural. Journal of Media and Religion 9, (2), 67-83. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/15348421003738785

Felschow, Laura. 2010. “Hey, check it out, there’s actually fans”: (Dis)empowerment and (mis)representation of cult fandom in Supernatural. Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 4. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2010.0134

Flegel, Monica, and Jenny Roth. 2010. Annihilating love and heterosexuality without women: Romance, generic difference, and queer politics in Supernatural fan fiction. Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 4. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2010.0133

Freund, Katharina. 2010. “I’m glad we got burned, think of all the things we learned”: Fandom conflict and context in Counteragent’s “Still Alive.” Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 4. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2010.0187

Fuchs, Michael. Hauntings: Uncanny Doubling in Alan Wake and Supernatural. Textus: English Studies in Italy vol. 25, no. 3, pp. 63-74. https://web.archive.org/web/20160930004632/https://www.academia.edu/5036330/Hauntings_Uncanny_Doubling_in_Alan_Wake_and_Supernatural

Fuchs, Michael. 2014. 'It’s like Groundhog Day’: Remediation, Trauma, and Quantum Physics in Time Loop Narratives on Recent American Television. GRAAT On-Line: A Journal of Anglophone Studies vol. 15, pp. 93-113.  http://www.graat.fr/backissuetvnarratology.htm

Gonçalves, Diana. 2015. Popping (it) up: Popular Culture in Supernatural. Diffractions 4. https://lisbonconsortium.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/2-diana-gonc3a7alves_pop-culture-and-supernatural.pdf

Gray, Melissa. 2010. From canon to fanon and back again: The epic journey of Supernatural and its fans. Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 4. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2010.0146

Harrisson, Juliette. 2016. “Shipping in Plato’s Symposium.” In “The Classical Canon and/as Transformative Work,” edited by Ika Willis, Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 21. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2016.0690

Herbig, Art, and Andrew F. Herrmann. 2016. Polymediated Narrative: The Case of the Supernatural Episode “Fan Fiction”. International Journal of Communication, no. 10. http://ijoc.org/index.php/ijoc/article/view/4397

Herzog, Alexandra. 2012. 'But this is my story and this is how I wanted to write it’: Author’s Notes as a Fannish Claim to Power in Fan Fiction Writing. Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 11. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2012.0406

Howell, Charlotte E. 2013. The Gospel of the Winchesters (And Their Fans): Neoreligious Fan Practices and Narrative in Supernatural. Kinephanos 4:1 http://www.kinephanos.ca/2013/supernatural/

McGuire, Ann and David Buchbinder. 2010. The Forensic Gothic: Knowledge, the Supernatural, and the Psychic Detective. Canadian Review of American Studies 40, (3), 289-307. http://dx.doi.org/10.3138/cras.40.3.289

Noone, Kristin. 2010. What are little ghouls made of? The Supernatural family, fandom, and the problem of Adam. Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 4. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2010.0136

Petersen, Line Nybro. 2010. Renegotiating religious imaginations through transformations of “banal religion” in Supernatural. Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 4. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2010.0142

Schmidt, Lisa. 2010. Monstrous melodrama: Expanding the scope of melodramatic identification to interpret negative fan responses to Supernatural. Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 4. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2010.0152

Silva, Alyssa. 2012. Dean Winchester: an existentialist hero?. Sesión no numerada: revista de letras y ficción audiovisual, (2), 67-83. https://web.archive.org/web/20160930004810/https://dialnet.unirioja.es/servlet/articulo?codigo=3877169

Sivarajan, Deepa. 2010. Tlön, fandom, and source text: The effect of fan works on the narrative of Supernatural. Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 4. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2010.0171

Stein, Louisa Ellen. 2010. “What you don’t know”: Supernatural fan vids and millennial theology. Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 4. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2010.0158

Torrey, K. T. 2014. Writing with the Winchesters: Metatextual Wincest and the provisional practice of happy ending. Journal of Fandom Studies 2: 2, pp. 163–180, http://dx.doi.org/10.1386/jfs.2.2.163_1

Tosenberger, Catherine. 2008. “The epic love story of Sam and Dean”: Supernatural, queer readings, and the romance of incestuous fan fiction. Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 1. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2008.0030

Tosenberger, Catherine. 2010a. Love! Valor! Supernatural! [editorial]. Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 4. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2010.0212

Tosenberger, Catherine. 2010b. “Kinda like the folklore of its day”: Supernatural, fairy tales, and ostension. Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 4. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2010.0174

Valenzano III, Joseph. M. and Erika Engstrom. 2014. Cowboys, Angels, and Demons: American Exceptionalism and the Frontier Myth in the CW’s Supernatural. Communication Quarterly, 62(5), 552-568. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/01463373.2014.949388

Wilkinson, Jules. 2010. A box of mirrors, a unicorn, and a pony. Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 4. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2010.0159

Wright, Julia M. 2008. Latchkey hero: Masculinity, class, and the Gothic in Eric Kripke’s Supernatural. Genders 47. https://web.archive.org/web/20080513152511/http://www.genders.org/g47/g47_wright.html

Zarin, Babak. 2010. Infernal redemption. Transformative Works and Cultures, no. 4. http://dx.doi.org/10.3983/twc.2010.0156

@otselotovaya-khvatka yeah like i Very Likely have bpd and i completely agree.

 i think it might be a side effect of most circles on this site focusing on BPD and barely any other PDs at all?  like dont take this as an anti self dx thing, it isnt at all. but i think bc theres so much focus on BPD, theres maybe more people who assume they have it. and as more and more symptoms that are common to most ND people get labelled as ‘BPD things’ more and more people are gonna assume they have BPD rather than any other pd or neurodivergence in general, and it just kinda turns into a vicious self reinforcing cycle.

if you self-diagnose don’t come near me don’t speak to me don’t even look at me. edit, so that I don’t have to keep repeating myself: there’s a difference between saying “I have these symptoms, so it’s a possibility I have x” and “I had this symptom once so I totally have this particular disease”. the first is fine and even encouraged! the second, not so much. but like I’ve been trying to say: let’s say there’s a person who had an intrusive thought once, so the next day they wake up and say “I have MPD” and then they start telling people they have MPD and it begins to have a snowball effect on their lives because they self-dx'ed without getting a professional’s opinion – that’s harmful, wouldn’t you say? ESPECIALLY if they’ve convinced themselves that they have a specific illness so thoroughly that they start self-medicating for it! that could totally be so dangerous! professional doctors and psychologists who have trained for years and years are going to know more about mental illness than some kid on the Internet. therefore, people who self-diagnose and proclaim they have an illness that hasn’t been checked out by a professional bug me, plain and simple. you don’t have to take it personally. I’m sure you’re a great person. I just disagree with self-diagnosis and don’t like when people do it. that’s all. it’s very very unfortunate if people do not have access to a doctor. I think that everyone should be able to have access to a doctor. however, even if you are unable to see a doctor for some reason, I still don’t think you should diagnose yourself because that’s potentially quite dangerous. if there are some recovery articles or something online that you have access to that addresses THAT SPECIFIC SYMPTOM that you have, by all means, go for it! but don’t try and help yourself by doing research on a specific disease unless a professional has told you otherwise, because it could be the wrong disease anyway and those recovery methods won’t help at all and may even make it worse