We have to stop being cute. Everyone’s vagina smells like meat or fish or tampon residue and we need to stop lying about that shit. No real human woman has a pussy that smells like the produce section at Wholefoods. Vaginas are moist, damp, covered in hair, kept in the dark, and packed to overflowing with bacterial flora and fauna. And it also happens to be spitting distance from our butthole where diarrhea comes from. That shit is not supposed to smell like a spring day. Can I clean it up? YES. Will I still smell like a sexually-aroused human female? ALSO, YES. Pussy stinks. Deal with that shit.
- Samantha Irby, Bitches Gotta Eat