dwight facts

We have to stop being cute. Everyone’s vagina smells like meat or fish or tampon residue and we need to stop lying about that shit. No real human woman has a pussy that smells like the produce section at Wholefoods. Vaginas are moist, damp, covered in hair, kept in the dark, and packed to overflowing with bacterial flora and fauna. And it also happens to be spitting distance from our butthole where diarrhea comes from. That shit is not supposed to smell like a spring day. Can I clean it up? YES. Will I still smell like a sexually-aroused human female? ALSO, YES. Pussy stinks. Deal with that shit.

- Samantha Irby, Bitches Gotta Eat

anonymous asked:

Pam and Jim, or Dwight and Jim?

I’d be lying if I said I haven’t ever shipped Jim and Dwight (in fact I was going to make a Dwight and Jim edit but never got the time) however Jim and Pam are too iconic for me, I love them so much. I honestly balled my eyes out during the Casino Night episode. Thanks for your question!

Daryl Dixon IS NOT dying

I actually think of this as an established fact but lately I’ve heard people share their concern so let me emphasize that Daryl is not dying!

It would be bad writing because:
-He is involved in 2 major story arcs that are unresolved 1. Daryl/Carol will they/won’t they arc, and even if you don’t believe in that one 2. The Dwight revenge arc which I imagine will play out most of 7a.
-Speaking of Dwight there is actually some foreshadowing in the episode where he takes Daryl’s stuff. Honey says, “I’m sorry…” and Daryl says, “You’re gonna be…”. He hasn’t made good on this promise, and in fact Dwight has got the jump on him twice more.
-Carol is not there, and they love their emotional outrage. The emotional outrage of Carol being there would be the greatest of anyone on the show and she is busy being shot elsewhere.
-Carol is played by Melissa Mcbride…one of the few people on the show who can probably win an Emmy…yes she would be there.
-Daryl actually had some happy foreshadowing on him at the end of the season. Denise’s speech called him out for not trying despite being a good person who deserves happiness. This was not put in for no reason.
-it’s not a good death for Daryl. Being fan fave and the type of character he is should go out in a heroic way. If he ever dies, he will probably die saving Carol or Rick.
-Daryl has never had a romance. It would not be something they aren’t going to do because a Daryl romance would create more buzz for the show than anything else, way more than his death.
-Daryl has never found happiness….especially this season. it would be a very disservice of his character, and a fan favorite, to not allow him to ever have any happiness.
-It would be purely for shock value, but not follow the story…this is BAD writing, and to be honest I don’t think they’d risk it.
-They did a death fake out in 6x15, it would be bad writing to kill him in 6x16…it reduces the impact of the kill.
-They left it as a cliffhanger which will probably mean it will be a lesser character. starting the season killing Daryl Dixon is not a wise move.

Season Finale Clues:
-The POV shots would indicate that it is either Glenn or Michonne, not Daryl. He is the first person to come out of the van and you see his head at one point
-The storyline strongly points to it being Abraham, if you want to dismiss the POV shots. He had a moment with everyone - Rick, Sasha and Eugene, and both of this plot arcs tied up in 6x14.
-Daryl seems barely strong enough to hold himself up, let alone to get back up after being hit
-Honestly none of the theories based off of clues make sense for it to be Daryl….some people really just want Daryl to die.
-The strongest candidates based on all clues and in story hints point to it being Abraham or Glenn.

Other Reasons:
-He’s Daryl Dixon
-He is roughly twice as popular as Rick, so if you can’t imagine Rick dying, it’s even harder to think of Daryl dying
-I read he makes up for about 75% of revenue in merchandising. Not sure if that’s true, but it seems legit. Most people who have TWD merchandise have some Daryl stuff and I see him on more shirts, etc than any other character.
-He is very good at marketing the show. He’s like a walking billboard.
-People literally will stop watching if he leaves the show. People can lie to themselves and say that’s not true…it’s true. They won’t risk it.
-These are people who like having jobs and money. He makes the show tons of money and gives them a certain amount of job security.
-Doubtful AMC would let them
-Speaking of that death fakeout…it barely was one…they added in that line by Dwight and practically spoiled it on the Talking Dead…..they didn’t want people to think Daryl was actually dead for a minute.
-They gave him a 2nd show. People seem to think this is because he’s leaving, it’s not true. It shows how much they value him…who wouldn’t want 2 piles of money over 1? They wouldn’t leave their sure thing for a risk. Also, the filming schedule conveniently doesn’t interfere with his Walking Dead schedule.
-There’s been many dropped hints from many sources that he will be back for S7.

Hope this helps.

Also, to be fair there are 2 reasons he won’t be back and frankly I just don’t believe either but here they are:
1. Shock value - but that won’t pay the bills or be good writing
2. Norman wants out - he might but I just don’t feel like he does.

They won’t let him go out a virgin, guys!

How to care for your Dweet.

Step one: DON’T GET ONE! IF YOU SEE HER. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN IN THE OTHER DIRECTION! Mandrake roots are awesome and bring you lots of great magic things, BUT THEY ARE BAD NEWS MAN! I’M WARNING YOU!

Step two: Don’t feed it anything a normal human might eat. DO NOT FEED HER MEAT! She will get VERY SICK and throw up on everything you love. Feed her dirt, eggshells, banana peels, coffee grounds, hard cat/dog food, vegetables of any kind, but no meat. 

Be sure she has lots of water and sunlight as well. This is important.

Step three: Bathe her in milk regularly. I’m not REALLY sure why she likes this, but she does.

Step four: Wrap her in the finest red or white silk.

Failure to do all this will lead to her death, vomit on everything, or Dwight throwing a tantrum and using all her mandrake powers to make your life a living hell.

IMPORTANT: DO NOT MAKE HER SCREAM. It’s fatal to mundies and can make fables black out for varying lengths of time. Could be two hours could be two years, it really just depends.

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FACT: My dog is cuter than your everything #dwight

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Things you may not have known about Dwight.

She always has a weapon with her. Well, almost always. Dwight carries a sad little switchblade with her.

She keeps a diary of sorts where she writes lame stories she makes up and things that happen to her, along with lots of terrible drawings of her friends and things.

She remembers quite a bit about her past, she just pretends like she doesn’t know a lot.

Dwight almost always wears her socks. She has rather poor circulation so her feet are always cold.

She has a high sneak and is a pretty damn good pickpocket.

She does sell chems to children.

( ( Dwight is a collector of sunset sarsaparilla stars. Due to the insane amount of soda she drinks, she actually has a fair amount if them. However, thus is one of the few things she is smart about. She wants that treasure and knows that lots of people would kill to get it. So she keeps it a secret and berries all her stars out in the wastes. If you asked her about it, she’d play dumb. ))

Dwight fact

I know this is pretty random, because we aren’t talking about mommies anymore. But I always thought that the whole MAMA and Dweet situation was like Rapunzel. That’s part of the reason I gave her really long blonde hair when she left the vault.

And I guess you could say that MAMA is like Mother Gothel in the Disney movie because she was really keeping Dwight stuck in the vault to keep her programming running similarly to the way that Mother Gothel kept Rapunzel in the tower to keep herself young.

Meh.

Don’t mind me. Just thinking out loud.

Dwight Facts

(( This is where I post random facts about Dwight.

Today on Dwight facts we will learn about the origins of her love for robots. I am not talking robot mom here. I am talking my thought process and character planning.

Dwight’s love for robots stemmed from one post. Before this post I wasn’t planning on her having much to do with robots at all. I think it may have been the second ask I answered, maybe the first. Tumblrbot asked Dinosaurs or Robots. I was planning on having Dwight have a very large collection of Dinky Dinosaurs. But last minute decided otherwise. The rest is history.))

Dwight Fact

Due to her small body and minimal body fat, Dwight is very sensitive to temperature. She has gotten very good at predicting whether or not it will be a hot day or a really fucking hot day or more importantly she can tell if the night is going to be cold enough to where she won’t be turned down for night time snuggles. Night snuggles are always wanted, but are easier to get when it’s cold.
So when the Mojave sun starts to set, the wild Dweet will seek out snuggles for the night. Or sleep alone.