It is not the duty of love to repair or remake you. That job belongs solely to your own courage and will. You should make peace with your own circumstances and past before inviting somebody else into your world.
So, it is basically fanon that come senior year Bitty is going to be the captain of SMH. I personally want that for Bitty and if it does happen, I desperately want him to be really good at it. I think he has the ability to do it (he was captain in high school) but I can’t help but feel like he would have to change how highly he prioritizes his relationship with Jack to make that happen. So far in his junior year, his relationship with Jack has negatively impacted his hockey enough that he is willing to admit it, so I don’t think Bitty can keep the status quo and still do right by his team. I’m really conflicted about it, but I personally would want Bitty to buckle down and focus on his responsibility to his team even if that means not seeing Jack as much as he possibly could. I think Jack would be pretty conflicted too. On one hand, he loves Bitty and wants to be with him as much as possible, but on the other, I get the impression that being captain is basically a Sacred Duty to Jack and he would feel guilty about distracting from that. There is some dissonance because Jack’s arc is partly about how there are things that are more important than hockey. I just want Jack’s heart to swell with pride whenever looks at Bitty and thinks, “My boyfriend, the captain.”
I don’t know. Maybe this wont even be a conflict. Maybe now that they don’t have to hide their relationship from everyone, Bitty will have enough of a support network to handle being away from Jack more. Maybe Jack will come to Samwell more so Bitty doesn’t have to be away from his team.
The Aryan world, remoulded by us after our final triumph, will no longer think in terms of happiness like the decadent world of today. It will think in terms of duty — like the early Vedic world, the early Christian world, the early Islamic world; like the world at the time of any great new beginning. But it will, in spirit, resemble the early Vedic world far more than either the Christian or the Islamic. For it will be the duty to love the integral beauty of one’s race above one’s self and above all things, and to contribute to its fullest expression, at any cost, by any means because such is the divine purpose of Nature.
It was intense and hot, exciting and dangerous, risky and sinful, but oh so delicious. Magnus pushed Alec up against the wall. Subconsciously moving his hands through his dark hair. Both parties were barely aware of their other actions or of their surroundings. They only knew they were in Alec’s bedroom in the Institute. And they were only aware of the other’s mouth on theirs. Time moved slowly for them, but their actions were fast. Soon Magnus and Alec where stripped down to their underwear. Magnus began to trace Alec’s runes, emitting a soft moan from his lips. The moan was cut of by Magnus kissing Alec harder and with more passion. They couldn’t even hear the sound of knocking as someone called for the Shadowhunter on the other side.
“ALEC!” A gasp of his name is what caused the Warlock and Alec to part so suddenly. Their heads swimming as they finally caught their breath. They felt quite disoriented as the couple were brought back to reality.
“M-mum! I-I-I uh-“ The group that stood in the doorway to Alec’s room included Maryse and Robert Lightwood staring flabbergasted at the situation, Jace with wide-eyes and a ’taken-a-back’ expression. And Izzy, with a knowing smile graced upon her angelic face, covering Max’s eyes with her hand as he tried to remove it from his face so he could see what was happening.
“Save it. You are both to get dressed immediately. Magnus will be leaving straight away. When you are done, we will talk about this this”, Maryse struggled to find the right word, “this mistake.”
Alec tried to prolong the inevitable talk with his parents. When Magnus offered to use his magic so they could be dressed faster, Alec politely declined. Whilst he was getting changed, the room fell silent. Only the sound of movement from the two bodies could be heard as they got ready. However, the moans still echoed in their heads. They could still feel the everlasting touch from the other’s skin on their’s. The passion and heat slowly, very very slowly, subsiding. Alec’s brain felt fuzzy, he was still in a daze. His body on autopilot as he was still thinking about the glorious moment he and Magnus just shared. With Magnus still in the room, it felt as if Alec’s brain couldn’t think properly. Everything felt blurry, rushed, clouded as so many thoughts swirled around his head. Yet at the same time, everything was clear.
“How are you feeling Alec?” Magnus asked carefully, walking over to the Shadowhunter with determination in his stride, yet he was still gentle and slow. Alec didn’t think someone could do both. He took in a deep breath, trying to build up enough courage to leave the room. “I’m ready.” I hope.
The two entered Robert’s study, as they did all five heads turned around to face them. It was clear that the adults had argued with both Jace, Izzy, and of course, Max, about who was allowed to stay. “Magnus! What are you still doing here. I thought I made it perfectly clear that you were not to be staying. You will leave this instant.” Maryse said hurriedly walking over to the door with a stern expression.
“With all due respect Maryse, I will leave if Alexander wants me to.” Magnus replied professionally, resisting the urge to reach out and place his hand on the small of Alec’s back. And the urge to make ‘death glares’ be true to their name. Everyone’s eyes, except Magnus, landed on the said person, eager to know his reply.
“He stays,” Alec said curtly and clearly before quickly adding an inaudible mumble, “it will make this a lot easier if he does.”
The two moved towards the second couch available and sat down. “Max,” Maryse turned towards her youngest son, “this is an adult conversation. Please leave.”
“Oh man, I never get to stay for the good stuff.” Young Max got up to leave but just before he exited the room Alec spoke up.
“No. He stays too. This is a conversation not for adults, but for the family.” Maryse’s eye twitched ever so slightly. Magnus was corrupting her son. Filling his head with idiocy and unrealistic dreams instead of reason and duty. Whilst the couple being ‘interrogated’ sat on one couch, Jace, Izzy and Max sat on the other. Robert was at his desk and Maryse was standing in front of it placed so she was slightly sitting, her arms crossed over.
Alec took a deep breath, preparing for the following sentence. “Mum, Dad. I’m gay.” There was a slight pause. Before Alec or anyone else could comment, Max curiously interrupted. “What does ‘gay’ mean?” Everyone’s head turned towards him, Izzy politely explained to him in a whisper in his ear. “Ohhhh. Well, what’s so bad about that? If Alec loves Magnus why are we telling him off? Mum and Dad didn’t get in trouble when they fell in love.” Once again the room fell in silence as everyone stared at Max, taking in what he had just said.
“I agree with Max,” Jace spoke up, standing as too make his following argument seem more important. “Even though I am admittedly annoyed, mainly ‘cause my Parabatai and friend didn’t tell me. But never the less, if this is what or who Alec chooses, I completely support him.” Maryse’s fists clenched, her knuckles slowly turning white as she got more and more agitated. “Thanks dude, it means a lot,” Alec said with a slight smile. “It’s what brothers do.” Jace added looking over at Alec nodding as he sat back down.
“He’s right.” Now everyone’s heads turned to Izzy as she stood up. “I completely support Alec with his choice. I have and always will. Because if Magnus makes my brother happy, then I’m happy.” Izzy focused her next comment on the couple. “They deserve each other,” she said with a smile, and sat down again. Everyone’s gaze moved to Maryse as she tried to remain composed. The room grew stuffy and warm as the silence nerved the Lightwood children and the Warlock. “Jace, Izzy, Max and Magnus, if you would give us some privacy as we decided the proper outcome to this discussion,” she struggled to not raise her voice. The said people started to disperse from the room when Alec spoke up exasperated, “There is nothing to decide! It’s clear that everyone here is okay with this so why can’t you be?!” The four continued to leave the room only this time hesitantly faster as they didn’t want to be caught alone in a screaming match. “Do NOT raise your voice at me Alexander Gideon! I am your mother! Your father and I do not agree with your idiotic decision, this is a matter that does not involve your siblings!” By now the room was empty of everyone but Maryse, Robert, and Alec. Robert not being able to get a word in. “This is only a mistake, a mistake that will ruin the Lightwood name more than it already is. As the eldest child of the Lightwoods it is your responsibility, it is your duty, your choices will either make us great again or make us nothing!” With that Maryse stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.
The room was silent for what seemed like the tenth time, the only sound came from Robert’s chair as he stood up to leave. “Dad?” Alec’s voiced was soft, almost a whisper as he tried so desperately not to crumble, and to speak. Robert stood in front of Alec as he spoke. “Yes, son.” “D-do you, uh, what do you think? O-of all of this.” Alec tried once again to stop his voice from shaking. His head moved slightly up as too look at his father rather than the floor of the study. “I think,” Robert placed his hand on Alec’s shoulder, “that whatever you choose, you will still be my son. And I will be glad of that.” Robert stood on a slight tip-toe as he placed a kiss on Alec’s forehead. He then proceeded to leave the room, leaving Alec to stand in the centre, contemplating his decision, everyone’s decision, the weight of it all slowly pushing him down as he finally broke silently, with no-one around.
Hey guys, I am so sorry for not posting this last Sunday. Things came up and along with heat that made me tired and other excuses that probably don’t matter. Again, I am really sorry, but thank you anon for requesting. I hope it was as good as you imagined it to be. I tried my best.
Anyways, my sister suggested that instead of doing every week I post a story every month since school is coming up and I will be busy with homework since it’s the start of the new school year. So maybe I do the first Sunday of every month, and if you’re lucky I can do more. I’ll see how it goes.
So if anyone wants to request anything, it can be ‘x reader’, ‘straight ships’, ‘gay ships’, ‘song prompts’, ‘drabbles’, a story with random names that aren’t necessarily a part of a fandom. I also have a jar with story prompts written on folded pieces of paper, so if you want I can do a random pick. But I do not do smut, or swearing. So if you want something like that, the start of this request is probably how far I’ll go. (My hands felt tingly and weird as I was writing it, but never the less it was fun to write.)
Again, thank you and sorry for the late post. I’m trying. Love you all.
I just realised that I forgot to put the usual story info before the actual story so here it is:
Request: Intense intimate actions between Magnus and Alec get interrupted by the Lightwoods walking in Fandom: TMI (a.k.a The Mortal Instruments, or To Much Information) Summary: Malec Malec Malec Malec Malec Malec Malec Malec Malec aaaannnd they’re caught. Ship: Malec (duh)
‘I have been raised to believe that commitment is absolutely necessary if a relationship is to work.
How can two people be committed to each other?
How does a relationship work?
I am afraid of commitment, so I avoid relationships.
What is really necessary in a loving relationship?’
What you call love is an unconscious biological force—you are at the mercy of a biological force. It comes and it goes. Neither can you bring it nor can you force it to remain, because it has nothing to do with your consciousness. But commitment is conscious, and what you are committing yourself to is unconscious! There is no link between the two.
I cannot say, Susan, that commitment is absolutely necessary if a relationship is to work. And who has ever heard of a relationship working?
No relationship ever works… only in the beginning, but by the time it really starts getting hold of you it is too late. In the beginning it is sweet, beautiful, because both partners are really possessed by the chemistry and the biology, and they are seeing things which nobody else can see.
When you fall in love with a woman, everybody laughs. They think, ‘This man has gone crazy!’ People start asking, ‘What do you see in this woman?’ People start asking the woman, ‘What do you see in this guy?’ But lovers go on seeing things—all kinds of hallucinations. In a very ordinary girl’s face a lover can see the moon! And the woman can see in her lover all kinds of gods! She cannot believe that such a love has ever happened before or is going to happen again. It is happening for the first time and the last time!
That’s why in every language there exists the expression ‘falling in love.’ It is really falling—it is falling from your intelligence, falling from your humanity. It is really falling into a ditch! And if you become committed, then you cannot get out of the ditch either! Commitment means, ‘I am falling forever,’ so the ditch is going to become your grave. Marriages have become people’s graves.
And I have seen no relationship that works. What works is love, but love is a delicate flower; you cannot depend on it. What works is momentary, but under the impact of love you can become committed, and then you will repent, but then you cannot escape from the commitment.
You have been brought up with these beliefs: that you have to stick to your promise, that you have to be consistent, that you have to fulfill whatsoever word you have given. Now your whole work is wasted.
What works as far as love is concerned is momentary; it certainly works for the moment, but no relationship works.
Relatedness works but not relationship, and you have to understand the difference between the two.
Love, the moment it becomes a relationship, becomes a bondage. And when you are in bondage it is impossible for you to be festive, to be joyous. You can fulfill the duty, but duty is an ugly, four-letter word. Duty means now you are caught and you have to do it. Love is not something that you do, it is something that happens; duty is something that you have to do. It is a drag! You become a martyr. You start carrying your cross on your own shoulders, and you may think that you are becoming a Christ…
Look at all the husbands carrying crosses! Look at the wives! Nobody seems to be happy. They are continuously quarreling, continuously fighting, continuously destroying each other, reducing each other to commodities, to means. The wife is using the husband, the husband is using the wife. It may be for different purposes—the wife uses the husband for economic purposes and the husband uses the wife for sexual purposes—but both are using each other. And how can one be happy when one is being used?
The moment the husband says, ‘What about it tonight?’ the wife immediately says, ‘I am suffering from a headache,’ or she goes into a tantrum or starts a quarrel. So when the husband wants to make love to the wife he has to bring ice cream and a bouquet and a sari, or something economic; then it is business, then it is simply give and take.
This is not working—you cannot say that the relationship is working.
Yes, if love becomes conscious, then there is a tremendous joy—it works.
Love ordinarily is unconscious and animal. If you make it conscious—that means love plus meditation—then there is a totally different quality to it, a different beauty, a different flavour; then it works. But it works because of consciousness not because of love. And consciousness changes love from relationship into a relatedness; it changes it more into a friendliness. It is no longer a bondage, it gives freedom.
The moment you become meditative you stop reducing the other to a thing. Then you are no longer a husband and the wife is no longer a wife, you are just two friends. There is no legal bond. You live together out of freedom, out of joy. You want to share, that’s why you live together. And if that sharing stops you simply say goodbye to each other with great respect, gratitude, because whatsoever the other has done one has to be grateful for; there is no sourness about it.
Consciousness works both ways: if you live together out of freedom it is a friendship, and friendship gives you freedom—you can be friendly with many people; there is no possessiveness in it.
When love becomes friendliness there is no possessiveness in it, there is no exclusiveness in it, there is no jealousy in it. And when there is no jealousy, no possessiveness, there is freedom.
Freedom works, friendliness works. And the moment love starts giving freedom to the other, then there comes a tremendous fulfillment out of it, because the greatest desire of man is freedom, not love.
If one has to choose between love and freedom, then the conscious person will choose freedom and the unconscious one will choose love.
Why did Buddha escape from his palace? There was enough love, in fact more than a man can digest. His father had gathered all the beautiful women available in his kingdom; he was surrounded by beautiful women. He escaped—he could see the bondage. A great desire for freedom arose in him.
That’s why in the East the ultimate state is called MOKSHA: absolute freedom—it is a higher phenomenon. Jesus calls God ‘love’—it is a little bit lower. Buddha calls it NIRVANA—absolute freedom, so absolute that you are even free from your self. Your self was a bondage, was a limitation. You are free from everything, even from yourself. It is pure freedom!
Freedom is the ultimate desire of man. Man comes to flowering only in freedom. Meditation will bring freedom.
And I am not against love: it is just one step lower than freedom, and it is beautiful to have love as a fragrance around you. Let freedom be your centre and love be your circumference. Let love be the circumference and freedom the centre, and you will have a total being, a whole being.
But, Susan, relationship never works.
You are asking me: ‘How can two people be committed to each other?’ They cannot be. Commitment is towards existence, not towards each other. Commitment can only be towards the whole, not to each other.
‘How does a relationship work?’ You ask. It does not work—and you can see it everywhere—it only pretends to. People go on saying that everything is okay, everything is good. What is the point of showing one’s misery? What is the point of showing one’s wounds? One goes on hiding them—it is humiliating to show one’s wounds, so people pretend that everything is going well. They go on smiling, they go on repressing their tears.
Friedrich Nietzsche is reported to have said, ‘I go on smiling and laughing for the simple reason that if I don’t smile I may start crying.’
Smiling is a way to cover up tears: you shift your energy from the tears to the smile so that you can forget your tears.
But everybody is full of tears. I have looked into thousands of people’s lives, their relationships. It is all misery, but they are covering it up, pretending everything is going okay.
A relationship does not work, cannot work.
And, Susan, you say: ‘I am afraid of commitment, so I avoid relationships.’ You are perfectly right in being afraid of commitment and you are perfectly right in avoiding relationships, but don’t avoid relatedness.
Don’t make any exclusive relationship, be friendly. Let love rise to the level of friendliness, let it be just your quality. Be loving. Don’t make it a relationship, just be loving.
These are the three stages. Relationship is the lowest; it is animal. Love as a quality of your being—just as you breathe, you let love be, that is human. And love at its ultimate expression is not even a quality; you become love itself. Then it is not even like breathing, it is your very being; then it is spiritual.
But the third possibility can happen only through meditation. That refinement is possible only if your energies go through the whole alchemy of meditativeness.
Susan, meditate. Become more aware of what you are doing, of what you are thinking, of what you are feeling. Become more and more aware, deeply aware, and a miracle starts happening.
When you are more aware, all kinds of beliefs start disappearing, superstitions dissolve, disperse, darkness evaporates and your inner being becomes full of light. Out of that light, love is a friendliness. And then it is not a question of commitment at all; one lives moment to moment, intensely, passionately, totally. That is commitment as far as I am concerned—commitment to the moment—because the moment is the only reality there is.
The past exists no more, the future is not yet; existence knows only the present. To be committed to the present moment is to be committed to existence, and there is no other commitment necessary.