What is your perfect version of a significant other?
A seething, nuclear chaos at the heart of eternity.
A dame with legs that go on forever, and ever, and ever - ankle-deep in primordial soup, her thighs brushing against Armageddon.
A girl with far too many eyes and a soft, breathy laugh like the skittering of thousands of spiders across a dusty floor.
A nameless thing that lives between walls and watches from behind mirrors, smiling, always smiling, though it does not possess a mouth.
A sentient teratoma with a great sense of humor and a love of tap dancing and barbershop quartets.
Xena: Warrior Princess.
A string of computer code that has learned how to fear ghosts.
I’m not picky.