during the whole scene

FACTS ABOUT CONNOR MURPHY (spoilers)

So I have decided to post all the facts and hints about Connor Murphy’s past that are shown in the musical. It’s hard to make out considering people in the fandom usually focus on the lies Evan tells to figure out Connor’s personality.

To get this conclusion (which I will post in a second) I literally skipped all scenes concerning Evan’s lies and went directly to the Murphy family and what they say. None of these facts/hints involve what Evan said about Connor.

First of all, I’ll say now that I have put my own interpretation on each of these facts.

And so, I will put all FACTS in BOLD.
Anything out of bold is my own interpretation and how I see it to be. It’s up to you to agree with me or disagree.

First, I will post my conclusions on each family member, and then afterwards, I will post the reasons for each one.

Zoe

Zoe was an emotional and verbal abuse victim. There is no evidence of physical abuse, although there were threats that could have potentially led to that. She has all the right to not grieve over Connor, in all honesty, she could have sent him to the police for what he did, but as an abuse victim, that is very hard to do. Connor was probably the cause of most of her insecurities and she hated him for that. The unhealthy habit of taking out his anger on the nearest person to him probably made him lash out at his sister whenever he had a panic attack. Judging by how he really did care enough to keep the creepy letter about his sister, written by Evan, in his pocket for 3 days before he committed suicide, it’s safe to say that he really regretted being mean to his sister and actually cared about her.

Connor’s mom, Cynthia

Connor’s mom was a woman obsessed with reputation. She’s known as the rich man’s wife, and wants more than anything to be a regular family. But because her son had mental illnesses, her perfect image was ruined. She acted as though she was there for him but when it came down to it, she did nothing. She pushed for therapy but after a while, her husband took him out of it because “it wasn’t worth the money,” and she basically went, “welp, I tried.” I will quote what I say later: Connor’s mom might not actually be sad that her son is gone, but rather, she’s ashamed that her family actually doesn’t care. It seems like Connor’s mom is filled with regret for not being there for her son, and she’s forcing her family to act like they regretted it too, because that’s what a real family should have been like. But this is only a personal theory.

Connor’s dad, Larry

Connor’s dad might be one of the main sources of his depression. It is very obvious to me that Connor’s dad believed him to be a disappointment. He didn’t grieve for his dead son and only played along to make his wife happy. He’s annoyed by the whole situation. It even seemed like he hated the fact that there was fake remnants of his son in Evan. Almost like he wished Connor wasn’t friends with Evan so he could just forget all about him and not need to deal with it. At some point he was a kind father. When they went to the orchard together for picnics, it seems like they were a happy family. Connor’s dad had played with their toy plane together and had some great memories. The whole family practically forgot about this, though. Connor’s dad didn’t cry at his own dead son’s funeral. I think that sums it up.

Connor Murphy

Connor was a complicated person. He had many different mental illnesses. I could research which ones he probably had, but there’s probably already a post somewhere on it already. One thing for sure, is that he was unstable. He might not have been like that his whole life, but at the time of knowing him, the time he was briefly alive in the show, he was incredibly unstable. Everything and anything could set him off, and he probably hated that about himself as well. Pushing away everyone near him that could possibly help and hating himself for doing so, spiraling himself into a closed minded world of self-hate and regret, which is something that many people can relate to, including me. He did a lot of horrible things to his sister and to his family. I don’t blame his family for not actually grieving him, he was a really bad person. The problem is, he could have been a good person as well. He had all the potential to get better. He talked to Evan, probably wishing to say sorry about pushing him earlier in the hall. He was trying, he wanted to try. He wanted to get better. He just gave up too soon.

This post is very long! I’m sorry. If you’d like to read more, I’m putting the reasons I’ve come to these conclusions under the cut.

Remember, ALL FACTS ARE IN BOLD. Anything else is my personal interpretation.

Keep reading

6

Isak + being shook when Even talks to him

What Sherlock Doesn't Say to Molly

In light of Sherlock finally saying those three little words to Molly, I’ve been going back and tracing the progression of his feelings for Molly.  And one of the things that stood out to me started with that often analyzed Sherlolly question… “Was Sherlock really oblivious about the coffee invite?"  Because there is one thing that Sherlock has never said to Molly despite having ample opportunity to do so.

We’ve noted for ages that for all his supposed obliviousness Sherlock is socially perceptive enough to realize that John’s questions about Sherlock’s dating status could denote a romantic interest, and Sherlock immediately and politely shuts that down lest it create some misunderstanding or trouble with his new roommate.  Not that John meant it in that way, anyhow, but an ounce of prevention… 

So if Sherlock can recognize those social cues, how does he miss Molly’s date invitation?  One could argue that Molly’s invite was more subtle and at a time when he was rather distracted by the experiment that he was conducting at the time… except for one rather large fly in the ointment. 

For someone who is supposed to be oblivious to Molly, Sherlock is awfully damned observant.  His reaction to Molly’s explanation is equally problematic if we are supposed to believe that Sherlock is completely oblivious. 

That is not the face of a man who is just going with the easy explanation.  Even as Sherlock starts to turn back to his notes, his eyes are warily fixed on Molly and his expression and body language seems quite suspicious and nervous, rather like a man who has just discovered a large cobra that looks ready to strike.  He knows there’s more to this and that Molly is about to make a move.  This would be the perfect time to lay things on the line, as he later does with John, but instead he feigns complete ignorance. 

We’ve thrown out plenty of theories about his actions here before, but I think that in light of the progression between Sherlock and Molly it’s worth a few new thoughts.  I am honestly not sure if Sherlock knows why he plays dumb at this moment.   As Mrs. Hudson points out in S4, Sherlock is actually all emotion… however in S1 Sherlock is firmly denying his emotions to the point that you have to wonder if he’s even convinced himself.  

For as concerned as Sherlock was about his observation that Molly had put on lipstick for him, he’s equally concerned when he observes that she has taken it off after her failed invitation.  And it is not at all inconceivable after all we’ve seen between them that a primal part of Sherlock actually enjoyed the fact that Molly was putting on that lipstick for his benefit. 


He doesn’t want her to push for something he thinks is beyond his capabilities, but he doesn’t want her to completely lose interest in him either.  Sherlock knows how to give Molly a compliment to get in her good graces, as he does in the very next episode, but he doesn’t do that here either.  A compliment this soon after her invite could provoke another invite.  So he needles her instead, trying to provoke her into continuing to wear lipstick around him. 

At heart I really don’t think that Sherlock is behaving this way because he’s a cold bastard who’s merely trying to use Molly at the beginning of the series.  I think that would have been his way of rationalizing his behavior in the first two episode, but I also think that from the beginning Sherlock at least subconsciously wants Molly’s romantic attention.  There could even be a conscious recognition of this desire on his part that he is internally at war with himself over, because there is a pattern of behavior here that continues even as their relationship escalates. 

Let’s skip ahead to the next big development in their relationship.  The Christmas party where Sherlock discovers that Molly’s regard for him is deeper than just a little meaningless flirting… after he humiliates both of them in front of their friends by trying to deduce her.  She’s dressed to the nines, she’s carrying one specially wrapped present, and she’s wearing that sexy red lipstick for someone–and Sherlock’s deductions make it crystal clear that he does understand the psychology behind a woman trying to draw a man’s attention to her lips.  The "Jim” incident made it clear that Molly wasn’t just sitting around and pining for Sherlock, and he might even have reason to believe that Molly has moved on after that particular scene in the lab.  It’s only after he has behaved like a complete bellend that Sherlock realizes that he was the object of her affection all along. 


Sherlock giving his first ever apology in the series to Molly was a beautiful and important moment.  Sherlock goes beyond that though by giving Molly a Christmas present in return. 

After all the horrible things he’d said, Sherlock gives her a tender kiss on the cheek while wishing her a Merry Christmas.  Leaving Molly (and the rest of the world) to wonder what to make of his actions.  Was he so cruel before because he was jealous?  Was he overcompensating for having just been a total jerk to her?  It’s not like Sherlock bothers to clarify with something like, “I’m flattered Molly, but I’m married to my work."  Is that because he’s trying to spare her more pain, or because he, himself, is confused especially with how Irene has been trying to stir his libido? 

Between the kiss, Sherlock’s lewd ringtone, and Sherlock identifying Irene at the morgue by "not her face”… Sherlock is definitely not giving Molly the impression that he is a man who is married to his work.  No wonder she’s looking for a little clarification on the subject while they are working alone in the lab. 

And this was Sherlock’s golden opportunity to tell her if he didn’t want her affections, because he didn’t have to make the answer about Molly.  There is nobody around to make the situation humiliating.  He could have simply answered, “Molly, I think you should know I consider myself married to my work, etc." 

Because at this point Sherlock knows how Molly feels about him.  All the Christmas deductions plus the "three x’s… sign of romantic attachment."  And yet again, Sherlock doesn’t say it. 

For someone who had zero trouble saying those words to John when he thought John might have a romantic interest, Sherlock goes out of his way to never say those words to Molly, even after he knows she is romantically interested in him.  Even when Molly thinks that he is in love with Irene, Molly is still that helpful and loyal soul he can rely on.  He’s not going to lose her help in the lab or on his cases, so none of his potential earlier rationalizations for not telling her would apply anymore. 

Instead, Sherlock goes on to tell her things like, "You can see me.” “You do count.  You’ve always counted, and I’ve always trusted you."   "If I wasn’t everything that you think I am, everything that I think I am, would you still want to help me?"  And let’s not forget his answer to "What do you need?"  Obviously the only way to answer that was, ”You.“  ;)

So Molly helps fake his death (and keep it secret for two years) and lets him use her bedroom for a bolthole, so I think we’ve reached a pretty high level of trust between them by the beginning of season 3, where Sherlock gets yet another scene where he could have said those words. 

Yeah, so if Molly considers "have dinner” a viable ending to that sentence, Sherlock has obviously still never mentioned his “no dating” policy to her.  They have a day filled with crime solving, meaningful looks, Sherlock’s heartfelt thanks, declarations of Molly being “the one person who mattered most”, another kiss from Sherlock, and an offer to take her to dinner after all… until Sherlock and Molly finally have to acknowledge that she’s currently engaged to another man. 

And do you know when else Sherlock would have had an opportunity to tell Molly that he was married to his work and not interested in romantic entanglements?  During whatever off-screen conversation that had about saying “I love you” to each other during the whole bomb threat scene.  Of course, with the way that Molly was beaming the world’s biggest smile and rushing towards Sherlock’s favorite spot in the ending montage, I think it’s safe to say that Sherlock never said those words to her then either. 

3

Supergirl Season 1 Appreciation Week - Day 1/7 : the moment you knew you loved the show

I liked Supergirl right from the first episodes, but I fell in love during this scene in the end of episode 6. The whole episode had been about the anger Kara felt and during the episode she figured out it was because she felt she could never have a normal life on Earth, that her normal life ended when her parents put her on the ship when Krypton was destroyed. In the final scene she channels that anger to defeat Red Tornado while this very emotional music is playing on the background and we see flashbacks to the moment Kara lost everything. It made me cry and it made me fall in love with the show.

Okay but Daryl totally slept in Jesus' trailer!

I mean, there is that scene at the beginning of the episode where Maggie, Sasha, Enid and Jesus are in the trailer while Daryl is alone outside.

Maggie brings food to Daryl and then go back to the trailer and the door is left open during the whole scene. And it probably stays open after.

I can totally picture Daryl waiting for everyone to be asleep before entering the trailer and laying somewhere on the floor to sleep.

After that, Maggie apologize to Jesus for taking over his trailer but I mean, her, Sasha and Enid were already living there for awhile and we didn’t see her apologize before so that might mean another person is living in the trailer now. Daryl.

And then AGAIN at the end of the episode Gregory tell Jesus there’s too many people in his trailer. And AGAIN, Maggie, Sasha and Enid have been there for a long time and Gregory didn’t complain before. So I take it as a proof Daryl slept there too and was considered to be living there.

So this is pretty much #CONFIRMED. Daryl slept in Jesus trailer.

Also can we take a moment to appreciate the fact that Gregory confirmed there were plenty of rooms in Barrington House but Jesus welcomed Maggie, Sasha, Enid and Daryl in his tiny trailer because he wants them there and considers them family? Yeah, yeah me too!

10

It’s so freaking poignant and significant that Min Hyuk’s reaction to Bong Soon’s demure act  is exactly the same shocked, aghast and judgy expression people usually have when they see her super power. GD wants a girl gentle like a cosmos flower, MH freaks out when BS acts like one.

Putting the three of them together is brilliant because it shows everything that is wrong with BS’s relationship with GD. During the whole scene GD looks like a complete outsider and intruder in a couple’s home; he is completely oblivious to everything that is transpiring between BS and MH - from their silent communication to innuendos only they understand. When GD leaves it’s the atmosphere changes completely - is like one of those time you have a visitor you want to impress and you act all polite and then he leaves and you return to normalcy - AND FOR BONG SOON, NORMALCY MEANS BEING WITH MIN HYUK. Normalcy means comfort and security and it’s clear from BS’s body language and behaviour who is the man she is the most comfortable with; in front of whom she drops her sweet-girl act and reverts back to her real self. When she is waving to GD she is holding the back of MH’s chair, she good-naturally hits his arm and then she even sits next to him and eats breakfast with him while they bicker.

I love that while MH might tease BS about her act in front of GD  but when it comes to revealing her powers and feelings to GD, he has BS’s back and respects her choice to keep it a secret; a secret MH knows is not his to tell. He respects it the same way as he respects the fact that she now wants to fight the villlain. It would be so easy for MH to reveal that it was BS who thrusted that spike in there, but instead he has her back, as always. By the way, HOW AWESOME IS IT THAT HE PUT ON IT THE NATIONAL FLAG AS IF BS WERE A NATIONAL HERO?! I think for MH she means even more than that.

On final note, my heart broke a little for MH because of that sad, wistful look he had while he was watching BS feeding GD chocolate and smiling at him.

Ok so I was going to reblog this and add on, but I want to deviate a little from the original post, and specifically address a comment made in response to it. But the original post is here (x).

Alright so this is the comment from @mrsgilbertholtzmann I want to touch on just a little bit:

Now I’m going to start off with yes, there is absolutely truth to this comment in the sense that with it being one singular movie, where there are four main characters, this means there is limited screen time to truly flesh out individual characters and give them back stories - because plot, and action etc. This can be wonderful for fandom, look characters for us to really delve into and play with, create head cannons on their history, how they would act in certain situations etc. So no we cannot truly say what the creators of the movie TRULY intended. BUT we can work with what we are given. This is what the original post is actually about.

CANON FACTS:

1. Holtzmann is not fantastic with feelings. Her speech at the end of the movie makes this one pretty obvious straight off. It’s very rehearsed and stilted. She does not speak with easy nor comfort. 

Physics is the study of movement of bodies and space and it can unlock the mysteries of the universe but it cannot answer the essential question of what is our purpose here and to me the purpose of life is to love and to love is what you have shown me. I didn’t think that I would ever really have a friend until I met Abby and then I feel like I have a family of my own and I love you, thank you.

Two other aspects of this scene often ignored, firstly Abby’s face during the whole speech for starters, but this face right here, this is the exact moment where Holtzmann says she didn’t think she would every really have a friend until she met Abby. 

This is completely new information to Abby. They’ve been friends for potentially years depending on your views of canon timeline. But Holtzmann has clearly never spoken about her past in great depth, not enough to reveal she’d never had friends or even a good family environment.

Secondly the sound Holtzmann makes once she’s done and sits down, and the fact she won’t even make eye contact with any of the others as they acknowledge what she has said.

This is someone really uncomfortable with sharing her feelings and any potential response she receives. 

2. The majority of the movie Holtzmann only engages in conversation when it is about the science, either loosely or directly. Beyond that it’s jokes (primarily at Erin’s expense) or comments made to another character/s. Now this one is probably a little vague. But hear me out, I’m going to define conversation as being an exchange of ideas, thought, or feelings between two or more people. I’m also going to add on to that, being involved in a discussion means contributing more than a line here or there.

Now not every interaction Holtzmann has would be classed as a discussion. So just a couple of examples.

The speech we just looked at, not a discussion, she said what she wanted to say, then closed down, there was no exchange of thoughts and feelings, it was one sided.

Her first scene, where she introduces herself to Erin, other than really the opening statement, and the occasional remark to Abby. Most of this scene is Abby doing the talking.

The ghost in the subway, Holtzmann actually engages here a little more than she has thus far, but it’s about the science, the equipment she’s created and what needs to happen.

The same can be said for when they’re trying out her new toys in the alley (both times)

Holtzmann has the least amount of lines in the movie that the other three ladies. Most of her lines are short and amusing. But note when I say amusing here I mean it is amusing to us as an audience (which is a whole other thing).

3. Science is her safe place. This one is fairly obvious, its clearly somewhere she often retreats to. The movie takes place over a very short timeline yet Holtzmann has created all these wonderful toys to play with within that time. Now don’t get me wrong she’s very good at what she does, but that’s a lot of time she’s spending on this stuff. Science is also where she feels most comfortable to engage with new people. It’s where she’s happy to be open and talk more (as I just covered off.

Things Holtzmann is not:

1. A sex god - this is not canon, this is not implied at all. Feelings and sex for some are absolutely two different things. So saying Holtzmann is bad with feelings does not automatically mean she cannot also be a sex god. BUT the fact that Holtzmann is bad with feelings, and does not easily engage in conversation with new people other than science based conversations indicates that meeting and having sex with random strangers is probably not something she is doing on the regular.

2. Always knows what to say and it’s hilarious - consider what you actually find “hilarious” about Holtzmann. Think about the moments in the movie really hard. Now ask yourself this question, would you find that line, that action just as funny if you were in the scene, if it was real life. You’ll probably find if you really give it some thought, that answer is probably no. That’s because what’s funny about Holtzmann is humorous to us as an audience ONLY.

3. Makes you gay - now talk about a problematic statement right there. Now where to actually start here. So sure it’s all fun and games to say I was straight until I saw this person and now I’m gay. It’s humorous, everyone has a good laugh, and it’s overused something shocking. What you are implying is being gay is a choice, it is something that can be changed about a person. I’m going to assume that the majority of the people who will read this post would define their sexuality as something different from strictly heterosexual. Now consider how you feel about been told that your sexuality which might have taken you years of heartache, anguish, and struggle to come to terms with, is really only just a choice. It’s laughable even. Ignoring all of that though, again you’re projecting a lot of your outside opinions onto a character. If you met this awkward, admittedly attractive, science geek, in horribly mismatched clothing and coloured glasses, are you going to automatically think “well shit I never realised this but I’m totally gay!” Probably not, let’s be real.

In summary YES we can all have different head cannons of Holtzmann, or any of the other ladies, they don’t all have to be the same. We all do see different things in the movie. BUT there are some clearly defined aspects of Holtzmann’s character from the movie being actively ignored or twisted. 

Supergirl episode 2x13 was a very weird episode, to say the least. What’s even weirder is that Mxyzptlk (I totally copied and pasted his name) wasn’t the strangest thing that happened during the ep. I mean, skipping the whole shooting at Supergirl scene, where you can clearly see the people behind her that didn’t give a shit about the gunshots - which, I mean, I know America has a huge gun problem, but I don’t think that’s quite how it works -, or the flying car that went on fire immediately after hitting the ground (my friend has been in a car accident where the car ended up upside down, and she would be dead if cars were so easy to explode)… Leaving all of these things behind… what the fuck was that?
Don’t get me wrong, good for Winn who now has a girlfriend (#winnforthewin!)(<– yeah, don’t comment that), although she seems fled from Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and her whole entrance and then their relationship development was freaking rushed (they might as well proposed to each other in perfect Mr. Mxyzptlk style at that point), and awesome for Sanvers, even though they hadn’t so much screentime this time either (which they kinda promised to us, but I guess Mon’Ew closeups were somehow more important…), but the whole episode felt like a patchwork thing to me.

I have to say that Kara’s happiness is my happiness (and damn, how incredibly gorgeous she was in this episode), so I’ve sadly accepted that is extremely unlikely that she’s gonna end up with Lena (what a waste of chemistry, though… ugh, it pains me), but that said, Flann’El is really such a poor choice. In this episode in particular he behaved like a total douche, all testosterone a no synapses, just straight up trying to punch the guy, practically demanding his execution and then challenging him to a duel for what? Kara’s hand? In which century does he think they are??
I didn’t like that he was completely ignoring the fact that Kara is a strong woman - like… super strong -, perfectly capable of handling a random idiot - although provided with insane powers -, and he kept whining about this guy, while doing and saying such stupid things, only because he felt threatened. This is such typical of straight man, the pulling up a chaos because their pride is hurt or threatened and they have to show to the girl that they’re strong and bla bla bla. This is so wrong in any scenario, but in this one? In this one it’s nuts. That’s Supergirl, you idiot! She stops planes and missiles! She’s bulletproof! She flies, for Rao’s sake, she ain’t a damsel in distress and she told you! You can fill me with all the reasons why he behaved like that, like that he cares so much to Kara that he lost it, but that’s still incredibly immature and he ain’t a teenager: he’s supposed to be an adult.
I just hate to see women having to keep the men on the right path ‘cause they can’t keep their shit together by themselves and they have to be schooled all the time.

Anyway, zero Lena’s mentions in this Valentine’s episode. We had Luthors for the real Valentine’s Day, so I’ll pretend that’s enough…

To me, the best indicator that there is something off about this whole scenario is the fandom reaction to Deckhand!Hook v. fandom reaction to WW!Hook.

Deckhand Hook was definitely the comic relief of that episode, lbr, but there was something about him that resonated to Killian’s actual character, and to real world!CS as well. He wasn’t mocked, he wasn’t literally the clown-with-dog portion of the play, but the whole situation was funny af while also having that grace to have a wee bit of depth and also to give a bit of depth to the character we know and love.

Not going to speak for anyone else, but I legit have zero problem with Killian being comic relief. But with deckhand!Hook, we loled at his allergy, his cluelessness, and his general cinnamon-roll-ness. And Emma was gently ribbing him during the whole ‘regular Jack Sparrow’ scene, and that was cute af, too. And as far as I’ve seen, I’ve really never seen objections to deckhand!Hook or the way Emma interacted with him at all. Plus, even before a TL confirmation, she was owning her relationship with him. ‘I sense we might be close’ ‘Very.’

I’m hoping that it’s not Emma looking at him like…wtf, him buffooning around, and then being knocked out, all the while her treating him with mild revulsion. The Emma I know and love wouldn’t look at this version of her TL alone, lonely, and at rock-bottom and think ‘ick’ and try to downplay her connection to him. She’d maybe have a flicker of shock and amusement at first glance, but she’d recognise the implications (like she did in the AU: that sad little “of course you are”), and would have empathy and emotion, just in the same way she had empathy and emotion watching deckhand!Hook die. Even if she knows she has her Killian safe at home (and legit, I’m still ??? at how they in-universe know this for sure), for her to have zero emotional reaction/connection is just ??? and frankly upsetting as a CS devotee.

And look, I’m not expecting the same kind of beautiful scene with her realising how much Killian means to her after deckhand!Hook died, but it’s OOC af for her not to give a fuck about this version of Killian.

As usual, I’m fully allowing for there to be some contextual element that brings all of that together when the episode airs, but as of right now, it seems like this entire WW plot is an actual giant waste of space.

I understand what people are saying re: this being a twisted world wrought by the EQ’s mind but again:

  1. That wasn’t universally agreed on in the writers room while the writing was happening
  2. Why? Why should I want to spend two episodes exploring a world that’s indicative of the psyche of EQgina? Why do they think I want a straight 84 minutes of “sassy Regina” come to actual life?

 And if nothing is real and it doesn’t matter, why the hell should I care? This whole concept of the wishworld was sloppily and incompletely conceived and it continues to make itself evident.

(although, if the moral of the story is that what Regina thinks actually has no bearing on the world at large, well… that’s something I can get behind, but I didn’t need 84 minutes of breaking down my favs to know that, thanks.)