dungeons & dragons

Imagine the possibility:

Look at those skeletones of saints that are just encrusted with jewels. And now imagine your Lich in a D&D campaign and how absolutely epic he looks. 
And another plus: good luck with finding his phylactery.

BTW the first one is very basic but the second one is a drama queen, I know it.

so after sam “I stealthed so hard I’m playing with the McElroys right now” riegel’s obscene roll of 38, I decided to figure out what the absolute max stealth roll a person could roll in a non-homebrewed game of Dungeons and Dragons 5e is

let’s get the basics out of the way- i’m assuming this is a level 20 rogue, no multiclassing because i don’t want to give myself that much of a headache, who rolls a 20 on the die. They’ve maxed their Dex to 20 at this point, so this gives them a 25. any self-respecting rogue is not only proficient in stealth, but has expertise in it, so they can add double their proficiency bonus (+6 at this level) to the roll- bringing us to a total of 37.

we’ll assume this is a well-read thief; a Manual of Quickness of Action increases  Dex scores by 2/modifiers by 1, so we’ll retroactively add 1 up there. 38. Ioun takes kindly to well-read adventurers; we’ll say she’s gifted them with an Ioun Stone of Mastery, which grants +1 to proficiency bonuses with the added bonus of having a rad fucking rock hovering around their head. Our thief adds 2, because of expertise. 40. Stone of good luck in their pocket adds +1 to ability checks. 41. they’ve also got the Stealthy feat, which lets them add their proficiency bonus to stealth checks again. Another 6 plus the Ioun Stone’s 1 brings us to 48.

Finally, this rogue wouldn’t have gotten far without a druid or ranger in the party, who might have been so kind as to cast Pass Without Trace. Add another 10. 58. Fifty-Eight.

I’m sure I’m missing stuff somewhere that would make this even higher, but if I asked for Stealth checks and someone at the table called off 58 I think I’d be legally allowed to shoot them on the spot.