duncan's box

I once got into a grudging Nice Off with a neighbour.  This crotchety old bastard had moved in across from my grandma and within a week became legendary for his sniping about every tiny thing.  Kids sitting on their front steps weren’t respectful.  Someone’s cat got into his yard.  The mailman stopped in front of his parking space for two seconds.  The man was impossible.

So I baked him a cake.  Not like a Duncan Hines box cake either.  I made an angel food cake with whipped cream and strawberries between the layers and lemon buttercream frosting entirely from scratch.  I was and still am crap at cake decorating, but pale yellow frosting with star shaped sprinkles on top looks pretty good no matter how uncoordinated you are.  Then I put on my nicest clothes, marched over, and apologised for not welcoming him to the neighbourhood sooner.

He slammed the door in my face.  Then the next day he came over with cookies.  I offered to mow his lawn.  He told me he wouldn’t pay me then invited me in for lemonade.  I took him cupcakes I had “accidentally” made too many of.  He loaned me a book on Irish history.  I read him the newspaper.  He (rudely) told me how to improve my English presentation.  I raked up his leaves.  He told me stories about his time in Korea.  Eventually the fucker gave in and actually started being half-way pleasant.

anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts on Maekar's killing of Baelor? My impression has always been that it was an accident but I've seen it argued that Maekar was aiming at Baelor's head to land a fatal blow because he was angry that Baelor took Dunk's side and because he was jealous of his brother and the glory heaped upon him and his sons.

…. that’s a thing? Because it’s pretty obvious that it was an accident. I don’t think GRRM could have made it any plainer if he tried. Unlike some plots where GRRM drops hints that something nefarious is going on or that he leaves completely ambiguous, he has given us all we need to determine that it was a mishap. Dunk, our POV of that period, believes that Maekar did not mean to kill Baelor, and the incident was marked repeatedly as a mishap by Maester Yandel in the World book.

From Maekar’s immediate reaction to slaying his brother to the reported effect this incident had on him, it’s quite obvious that Baelor’s death deeply affected Maekar. Yandel tells us that “it is written that Prince Maekar always bitterly regretted Baelor’s passing and marked its anniversary every year”, and reports that Maekar had grown stern after his brother’s death at his hand - growing stern being the same wording used to describe Viserys II’s response to Larra Rogare’s abandonment, denoting a trauma response. This is further supported by what Maester Aemon tells Sam of his father.

[Maester Aemon] tightened his grip on Sam’s arm. “I will be with my brothers soon. Some were bound to me by vows and some by blood, but they were all my brothers. And my father … he never thought the throne would pass to him, and yet it did. He used to say that was his punishment for the blow that slew his brother. I pray he found the peace in death that he never knew in life. [..]”

This is a man who is haunted by his brother’s death and who has never stopped blaming and punishing himself for it; depressed to the point of having no peace and hating his throne because of how guilty he feels sitting in his brother’s place. Think of Jon Snow and his pained guilt at the idea of having Robb’s place and multiply it by a thousand in Maekar’s case. Actually let’s talk about Jon Snow’s dynamic with Robb and how it parallels Maekar’s with Baelor. Jon grew up in Robb’s shadow and was jealous of him but he also loved Robb deeply. This is Maekar’s dynamic with Baelor, I believe. It’s true that he was jealous of Baelor and resented that Baelor got all the recognition and credit while Maekar’s own accomplishments went unrecognized but his reaction to Baelor’s death speak of how he felt about his brother. Egg vouches for his father’s feelings towards his uncle and while his opinion isn’t the most objective, the kid isn’t a bad judge of character.

Jealousy and anger could be good incentives for murder but they are not in this case. Maekar punishes his sons in the wake of the trial and continues to beat himself up over it till the day he dies. Sending Aerion into exile in particular is huge for Maekar considering that he had pinned all his hopes on his second son after his heir Daeron disappointed him. Maekar trusts a lowly hedge knight with his son’s life and training in a way that parallels Baelor’s own trust and esteem for Ser Duncan. We’ve seen Maekar’s reaction to Baelor’s death at Ashford Meadow. A subdued man who struck me as someone who is trying to find any sense in what has happened. He was resigned to the fact that he’d be accused of purposely killing his brother and needed to tell someone, anyone, he did not. The man we saw at the end of the Hedge Knight is weighed down by guilt and trying, in his own way, to make amends.

As for the part about Maekar aiming at Baelor’s head, note that this was in the midst of a huge fight where Maekar noticed that Dunk had his son pinned down… and was preparing to kill him for all Maekar knew. Dunk noted that Maekar was trying to reach Aerion but Baelor was holding him off. Considering the circumstances, I sincerely doubt Maekar had any time to register anything beyond needing to get past Baelor to save Aerion. He was outnumbered at one point when Lyonel Baratheon joined Baelor against him resulting in a mad trade of blows in which Maekar took three for every one he landed. It’s not at all surprising that Maekar had no memory of the blow that broke his brother’s skull in that mayhem.

anonymous asked:

I know we know little about House Tarth, but do you think Selwyn Tarth (or any brother's of his if he ever had any) would have made a good match for Rheagara? Funnily enough, a female Tarth of Selwyn's age probably would have made a good match for Rhaegar: Targ blood, targ looks (based on Brienne's coloring), and a lack of a large army and money (as far as we know) to help Rhaegar overthrow his father...

The thing about the Tarth-Targ connection is that our knowledge of it is limited to one line in the world book that says that House Tarth is “an old family of Andal descent that boasts of ties to the Durrandons, the Baratheons, and more recently to House Targaryen.” What ties to House Targaryen, we don’t know. It’s been theorized that one of Aegon V’s sisters, Daella and Rhae, whose marital history was conveniently left off the Targaryen lineage in TWOIAF, was the one who married into House Tarth, and that perhaps she was even already impregnated by Ser Duncan the Tall (a confirmed ancestor of Brienne) when she got married to a Tarth. I’m not sure about the second part, but I’d say that the first part sounds pretty plausible – there are definitely others that could have married into House Tarth (e.g: Princess Vaella, Princess Daenora, or even Prince Maegor if Tarth had a ruling lady) but Daella and Rhae remain the most likely candidates, especially considering the connection to Dunk. But the fact that this is most likely a future plot point in one of the Dunk and Egg stories leaves us with minimal information, and no knowledge of House Tarth during Aerys’ reign or Robert’s Rebellion.

That said, assuming that it was indeed one of Aegon V’s sisters who married into House Tarth, a female Tarth would be an obvious choice to look to, after House Baratheon, due to proximity that puts them at a closer blood relation to the then-ruling royal line than the Martells, whose Targaryen roots go farther back to Daeron II’s sister Daenerys. Now, the lack of mention of a Tarth being considered as a bride for Rhaegar is most definitely due to Doylist reasons since GRRM hasn’t revealed the Targaryen-Tarth connection yet, but that does not mean we should not look for an in-universe explanation to why Aerys went that far back on the family tree to find a Valyrian-blooded match instead. My guess is that this could be attributed to one or more of the following factors:

  1. There was no female Tarth of appropriate age to wed to Rhaegar. We don’t know if Selwyn Tarth had any sisters (and if he did, chances are they were on the older side for a match with Rhaegar, and probably already married by the time Aerys started looking to betroth his son) and Brienne was only born in 280, most likely after Rhaegar was married since he married in the first month of the year.
  2. Familiarity was on the side of the Martells. Blood proximity might favor the Tarths but Selwyn Tarth was not brought to court the way Steffon Baratheon was, and we generally do not hear of any Tarth presence in the court of Aegon V, Jaehaerys or Aerys. The Tarths don’t seem to have been in such open favor of the Iron Throne as the Baratheons were, and so Aerys wouldn’t regard them with the same familiarity and trust that he put in Steffon Baratheon, and that made a Baratheon daughter an obvious choice for a crown princess. Comparatively, the Princess of Dorne was familiar: a former lady-in-waiting to Queen Rhaella who surely had connections in court and who was known personally to Aerys. That makes the Martells a much more noticeable nuptial choice than some blood relatives that Aerys might have only heard of or scarcely met.
  3. The Princess of Dorne wanted to make the match between Princess Elia and the crown prince so Elia was put forward as a viable choice that met all Aerys’ conditions in a bride. Why would he reject the proposed match simply because there might be a Tarth daughter of a closer relation, if he had no pressing reason to pursue said Tarth? 
  4. Aerys might have feared that the Tarths would have an easier time winning support from the lords of the realm to aid Rhaegar, or at least would not be an impediment to Rhaegar’s recruiting. I believe he was counting on the prevalent prejudice and racism against the Dornish to be an additional restriction on Rhaegar’s chances of winning support and thus making him less of a threat to his father’s throne, much like he was counting on the typical isolation that face many an Essosi bride in Westeros making it hard for her to win allies when he sent Steffon in search for a Volantene bride. The history of the anti-Dornish sentiment being the most predominate motive for lords to flock to the Black Dragon’s banner would not be lost on Aerys who fought in the War of the Ninepenny Kings, and so he probably hoped that Rhaegar’s connection to Dorne would do the same, driving people to his banner instead.
  5. While the Tarths are an ancient family that used to be royal, they are still only vassals of Storm’s End, and not as great a house as the Martells. A match with a Great House might have satisfied Aerys’ ego more and worked out better for the prestige of the royal family.

As for the girl!Rhaegar au, as I’ve stated, Aerys would be looking for the most advantageous match he could find for his daughter. House Tarth’s power does not really compare to the other houses I’ve suggested.

Nights at the Trader’s.1

Characters: Alec Hardy x Hannah Baxter ; Ellie Miller, Paul Coates, Ben, Bambi, Duncan. 

Genre: Film Noir AU; Broadchurch x Secret diary of a call girl xover

Rating: Adult

Summary: London, 1951. Hardy has recently moved to the city and is staying at The Trader’s Inn, a seedy hotel on the bad side of town. He’s a by-the-book cop and prides himself on being more upstanding than most of his colleagues. Until Duncan approaches him with an interesting offer: his mistress, Hannah, has gone missing, and he’s willing to pay the DI a lot of money in exchange for his collaboration and discretion. With the help of his resourceful secretary, Mrs. Miller, he will uncover truths that threaten his own secrets.

TW: lots of smoking and drinking (as per the genre)

A/N: Duncan was Hannah’s editor and boyfriend, he was played by James D’Arcy

Many thanks to the brilliant fadewithfury for the beta.

Catch up here or on Ff.net or on  Ao3

June 1951

London. What a city for Detective Inspector Alec Hardy to waste away the rest of his days, solving petty crimes and drinking too much. He enjoyed its rudeness and its anonymity. He liked the way it had rebuilt itself after the war, a brand new London, but its scars still shone.

His eyes unfocused, and he caught his own reflection on the glass pane: unkempt hair, stubbly cheeks and sunken eyes. What a sight.

A sharp whistle caught his attention, and he looked down at a group of bobbies on the sidewalk. They were having a smoke and cat-calling women passing by. A strong blast of wind ruffled the ladies’ dresses, and they looked up as the sky resonated with ominous thunder. Pedestrians ran amok, seeking shelter before the storm broke. Lightening flashed, a brief warning before the rain.

In another office, someone had left the radio on. The staccato of fat drops against glass complimented the melody weaving its way through the empty second floor of the police station.

Hardy’s eyes darted to the drawer where he kept a flask of whisky— Glengoyne, from his hometown— but he decided against it.

Keep reading

Cardiectomy in Eight Steps | an Orphan Black fanfiction

When you are eight years old, your parents die in a fire. And you begin to remake yourself.

aka: my love letter to Rachel Duncan, heartless bitch.

Warnings: brief sexual situations with dubious consent, homophobia, possible minor self-harm.

Read on AO3 or under the cut.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Wait, that text story was about Duncs who didn't like it so Tazer was all "I'll protect you?" WHAT IS THIS TEAM???

As far as I know, yes.

Sharp originally told this story at the 2009 Blackhawks Convention, as you can see here. Apparently, Duncs wasn’t too thrilled about the story being out there, so Sharp changed it so Toews was now the victim of the prank. Toews hasn’t tried to correct him since.

sonicsean89  asked:

Which Blackhawk has the most embarrassing draft picture?


Just… yes.

(There were just some draft pictures I couldn’t find. If you have any draft day pictures of current Blackhawks that I don’t have here, please post them. I found some glorious headshots from their first training camps, but no draft day photos. Sadness!)

anonymous asked:

Do you think Rachel would ever join the clone club's side and/or betray DYAD? (and do you think DYAD would ever betray Rachel?)

OoOoOoOohh. I love this question. 


So, short answer: yes, yes, and yes. 

Let’s start with the last question, because I think it’s likely that the first two would be a result of the last. Do I think DYAD would ever betray Rachel? Why, yes, Anon, I do. In fact, I think that DYAD is already in the process of betraying Rachel. 

Here’s why: 

We already know that the DYAD is shady as fuck. And, as a space operating within the story, it’s likely to stay that way. This whole back and forth happening with Delphine? The fact that Alison’s monitor definitely has not been lifted? The way Rachel lured Sarah to the DYAD office by claiming to have Kira? They’re liars. 

(Now, the fact that everyone and their mothers lies out of their asses on this show is one of my favorite things to talk about but that’s for another time). 

So, right now, Rachel’s the highest we’ve seen on the DYAD chain of command. But, there’s absolutely nothing to make us believe that Rachel hasn’t been lied to her entire life. DYAD did some shady shit in the creation of these clones. Obviously. You really think they’re just going to divulge all of that to Rachel? Doubtful. Where’s the mystery in that? It makes for a much better story if the character who acts like she knows everything suddenly realizes that she knows nothing. It gives her a really nice character arc. And everyone needs a character arc. 

Now, where could this betrayal fit into the story? Personally, I think it probably has something to do with the original (and, I do believe that there is an original). That scene between Rachel and Cosima in 202 raised all kinds of flags in my story brain. When Cosima asks to see the original genome, Rachel says “oh, that’s not possible.” Shoots it down, right away. Why? “I assure you, the original genome was robust.” Well, you sound pretty sure of yourself there for someone who has three clones coughing up blood, Rachel. Something tells me the original genome was definitely not robust. Is Rachel hiding this? I’m not sure. Honestly, I think Rachel probably doesn’t know. 

And that’s where the betrayal would fit in quite nicely. I’ve already talked at length about the possible parallels between Rachel’s story and Helena’s, and Rachel becoming disenchanted with everything she knows, everything she’s been taught, everything she is? Well, that’s the kind of revelation that Orphan Black is all about. Now, of course, Rachel’s a totally different woman than Helena and the circumstances don’t quite match up. Rachel would react in a completely different way than Helena did (i.e. I don’t really see Rachel attempting to gouge someone’s eyes out, but who knows), so it would be interesting to watch how these two choose to come into their own individuality. 

And, in coming into her own, that’s when Rachel might align herself with Clone Club. Do I think she’ll ever become a key, treasured member like Cosima or Alison? No. Not exactly. Rachel’s always going to be on the outskirts, because in our trio of outsiders, insider Rachel will never quite fit. That doesn’t mean that she can’t be one of our trustworthy-or-untrustworthy allies. With irrefutable proof that she’s been lied to, well…we already know that Rachel takes insult very personally. There’s no reason to believe that DYAD won’t come under her line of fire eventually, especially if the lies go as deep as I have a feeling they do.