Things Simon Honeydew is NOT Allowed to Do in Yoglabs
Preamble: CEO Simon Honeydew is by all means our instructor and coworker in the same way Lewis Xephos is, but due to a large amount of complaints and numerous violations of the Server Workplace Safety Agreement (SWSA), a list of protocols and rules have been set in place by Lewis Xephos and the Yoglabs staff for the benefit of Yoglabs and our goals. This list can be added or removed from by any Level 3 or above Personnel.
1) Simon Honeydew is not a doctor in any way, shape, or form.
2) Simon Honeydew is not a political figure, either.
3) Simon Honeydew is not allowed to even be near Experiment 1-6, aka “The Memory Wipe.”
4) Simon Honeydew is not a mermaid, a gnome, Batman, Bat-dwarf, Robo-dwarf, or robocop. He is also not a professional wrestler or a millionaire, and most certainly not a teacher/mentor of any kind. (Christ how many things can he come up with?)
5) Simon Honeydew is not allowed inside the Holodecks without a Level 4 Personnel accompanying him. The only exception is for testing done with Lewis Xephos or Duncan “Lalnable” Jones. Both need to show keycard for access.
6) SIMON HONEYDEW IS NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, ALLOWED INSIDE THE COFFEE MACHINE.
7 ) Bee Swords were not a thing studied here at Yoglabs. All who have reccolection of rhis event, please report to the Memory Den for reevaluating.
8) Simon Honeydew is not allowed to use the cloning facility or any of the clones in it for recreational, sexual, or experimental purposes.
9) Simon Honeydew is not allowed near the clone room period.
10) yes he is. Simon Honeydew is not allowed to change or edit this forum.
11) NO ONE in the facility is allowed to put experiment 2-7 (Red Sweets) in the vending machine “Just to see what happens”
12) Yoglabs certified directions for procedures and containment processes are NOT suggestions.
13) Nor are they there to trick you.
14) Do not, under any circumstances, let Simon Honeydew near the Intercom controls. (We are NOT listening to “Diggy Diggy Hole 10 hour edition” again.)
15) New clones are not to be told they’re immortal.
16) You are not immortal.
17) New clones are not to be told they are invincible.
18) You are not invincible.
19) Strife Solutions is not to be told that “Bort” is friendly. (That took a lot of paramedics and memory wiping.)
20) No, we are not releasing any Yoglabs Brand Pornography. (Even if it will be profitable in Japan. Jesus man.)
21) He is not allowed to switch the labels on syringes in the Pharmeceutical Devision for “experimental purposes”.
22) No, we cannot eliminate all the enderman from server. (Even if it were possible, PETA would be all over our asses.)
23) Simon Honeydew is not allowed to make posts on @YoglabsOfficial.
((Feel free to reblog and make some more! This is inspired by @fighteramy ’s Lab Buddies Comic and SCP wiki’s “Things Dr. Bright is not allowed to do at the facility”))