*A plastic coffee stir stick can fool any push in coin acceptor that loads the coins on edge. Just insert stir stick, push the mechanism forward until you feel the stick hit a bump, push the bump down with the stick and push the mech all the way in
*If you look like you know what you’re doing, no one will bother you.
*When lying, always include something slightly embarrassing, or something that makes you look bad, as part of your story. It’s not only going to disarm their skepticism (admitting to something embarrassing gives an impression of humility), but even if they remain skeptical, they’ll be left wondering why you would make something up that you’d rather keep secret if it were true
*Using Clorox or any bleach will turn the red/pink liquid detection dot on electronic devices back to white so they replace them under warranty
* “A drug dealer in DC taught me to pick my nose if the police are staring at me. No one picks their nose if they think someone is watching them, so it’s the ultimate way of being nonchalant.”
* "I learned that you can get into almost any special event by wearing a chef coat. Even just carrying one and walking like you know where you’re going will work every time. Most people don’t want to look stupid by asking you who you are.“
* "My go to missing work call was never "I’m sick”, it was “Family problems”. They never questioned it, it’s vague enough and embarrassing enough that nobody ever asks.“
*As part of the employee training at Target, they teach you that if a customer argues over a price, and the full price is under $20, to just give it to them for whatever price they claim. It’s cheaper for the company to move on to the next customer than to call in a price check.
*Put a rolled up sock in the change slot on a vending machine, come back back 4 days later….and pull sock….you will be 6-ish dollars richer.
*If it’s a small lie, like who farted or who put the empty milk carton in the fridge, I’ll tell a terrible lie. I’ll not be able to hold a straight face, contradict myself, basically suck at lying.Now everyone I know thinks I can’t tell a lie to save my life. So when I really need a big lie, I nail it every time. No one ever suspects me when I lie straight faced.
*Bring crutches to an airport. Bypass every line (including boarding) and you are chauffeured to your gate the second you pass through security.
*Make up a secret to share with someone- they may open up and share far more valuable real secrets.
*Here’s a classic. Drive over to your 7/11 of choice. Fill up a Slurpee and drop some candy bars in that bitch. Make sure the candy bars aren’t showing. Cover the Slurpee and pay for it. Free Snickers bitch.
*I tell everyone i’ve never done any drugs. Suddenly everyone offers me cocaine, ecstasy, pot, lsd. I think i’ve had $200 worth of drugs each weekend for free.Same with liquor. "Im not drinking tonight” BOOM! Everyone gives me booze. Its like everyone wants to break your integrity as soon as you tell them you are not doing whatever they are doing.
*If you need to cash from an ATM and its not a large amount, buy a 5 cent piece of gum from a gas station that has the cash back option. Its cheaper than a $3 charge
*Act less intelligent than you really are. Acting stupid can get you out of some tricky situations. Feigning ignorance is way better than admitting you knew better but did it anyway. My old man used to say ‘It is easier to beg forgiveness than ask for permission’…sometimes it’s true.
*Every time I fly, when I land I’ll pen a little complaint to the airline that flew me. You know, I’ll come up with something like “oh, they denied me a drink! Oh, the food wasn’t vegetarian!” Whatever miscellaneous hogwash potpourri comes to my crazy brain. And like clockwork, within a business day, they’re reimbursing me with a $50 voucher, a $100 voucher, I can sell that on the secondary market.
*I’ve always had a lot of success in shutting nosy people up by blaming any personal issue on allergies. Crying from a panic attack? Allergies giving me puffy eyes. What’s that mysterious pill I’m taking? Allergy meds. Why am I acting spaced out/hungover/tired? Allergies meds making me drowsy.
*If you really wanna get away with some shit, buy a reflective vest, a white hard hat, and a clipboard. You can go ANYWHERE.
hey what languages are you taking next year? spanish? french? german?
german??? the language of germany??? wow I would've never, I, Peter Parker, have never even thought of taking that language because I, honestly and truthfully, have never gone to Germany. i have never EVER fought anyone in germany if that's what youre trying to say, I've always been in my room, doing my homework and dumpster diving, I would NEVER E V E R even try to go to germany, it's a horrible place, not that I would know BECAUSE I'VE NEVER BEEN THERE BEFORE
can we also talk about summerteen romance, another amazing pinnacle of gameover timeline davekat in which karkat does everything in his power to not only give his friends a happy ending but makes it openly interactive for dave to freestyle his own rap. also the part where they continually edited that page of tavros oh my god that was the funniest shit.
special mention to the fact that going by the way everything else was narrated and this being in daves lowercase style while hes the one reading,, and it being in grey,,, this was very likely dave opening the comic with a poorly done impersonation of karkat lmfao;
looking for new fandoms should be referred to as dumpster diving, but in a mixed metaphoric way, like you’re a deep-sea diver constantly plunging into the deep and treacherous waters of media content in search of treasure-trash, and whenever you hit jackpot you immediately haul the wreckage up and dump it onto a ship
“My Friends And I Never Get Caught Dumpster Diving” “I Never Get Caught Dumpster Diving”
I’ll be real, I thought this request was a joke at first, but apparently Sephora throws out tons of it’s makeup and you can sanitise it and resell it. You could probably do the same with a lot of different busninesses that throw out a fuck ton of their product line for small flaws.
So have this on your person when you go dumpster diving, also make sure you know your garbage laws if you get caught anyway