dumbest of all the dumbs

anonymous asked:

What audrey be like when dating her

Alright fam listen up

  • 100% she would be so kind and gentle with you in the beginning, especially after everything with Rachel
  • She’d want to make sure you were okay all the time
  • She’d make the dumbest jokes at like 3 am???? so dumb but so precious
  • Surprise gifts when she knew you’d had a bad day and literally just because
  • she’d made special videos for you for anniversaries 
  • she’d definitely be a top most of the time but would secretly love when you pinned her down and took control
  • so many neck bites oh my go d
  • hickies in really obvious places because shes a shit 
  • surprisingly really into sweet, slow sex????
  • but also really into pinning your arms above you and making you shake until you’re begging
  • also bondage 100%
  • constantly asking if you were okay during rough sex until you physically made her shut up and fuck you like she meant it omg
  • shed remember all your favorite movies and albums and make sure you two would have the best movie marathons on bad days
  • cult classic marathons
  • new horror movie marathons before noah so she could outdo him for fucking once 
  • she’d play with your hair idly like all the time whenever her arm was around your shoulder or you were laying in her lap
  • big on absent-minded touching
  • doesn’t question why she cant find her flannels and you show up with one on 
  • fights would be insane and she’d drive you crazy and very rarely apologize first so you’d always have to, but you could tell she always felt like shit about it
  • lots of forehead kisses like lots
  • very easy to make her blush since she isn’t used to people loving her the way she deserves, so you do it all the time and shes just adorable okay
  • shes always the first to stand up for you even when you can’t, she will never let anyone talk down to you or make you feel small. she’s felt like that enough in her life, she never wants someone that she loves to feel like that if she can prevent it
  • constantly tells you how beautiful you are and how special you are
  • bad with emotions but makes sure you know she loves you in every other way possible

Originally posted by a-ripley

"GAYS JUST LOST THE RIGHT TO MARRY IN TEXAS!!!!"

I’m laughing so fucking hard at the Pastor Protection Act tbh

it basically says that churches don’t have to marry same-sex couples because it’s against their first amendment rights, which is true

but the SCOTUS decision didn’t require churches to marry same-sex couples??
also churches don’t have any say in legal marriage???

lol @ lawmakers with no comprehension of separation of church and state

marriage isn’t a Christian institution no matter how much they want to pretend it is

have fun with your legal same-sex marriage, Texas

pronac-deactivated20150424  asked:

hi toasty! I know you have a lot of asks and junk, requests, and stuff to get to and I understand if you completely disregard this message but I've been going around asking my favorite bloggers what I should do about my height and my captor cosplays. I am very short, only about 4"7 and I get a lot of hate for this. Personal hate, con hate, even anon hate. Is there ever a chance in hell a captor could be as short as me? I've been getting a lot of positive feedback and would love to hear yours. ♥︎

pffff yeah it’s ridiculous for anyone to arbitrarily decide that certain people have to be certain heights (or weights or literally anything), especially when it comes to homestuck cosplay! because let’s face it: canonically they are armless, physically identical bean people.  and even when they’re not, they follow a template.

the long and the short of this is that popular headcanons are purely subjective and whoever’s giving you hate has no life.  none whatsoever.  shine on, wee captor.

I was driving to my friends house after we went sliding tonight and when I got there they weren’t there yet, so I turned around and started driving down the road and then saw that they were in their truck driving up. We had a snowstorm this morning so the roads were barely plowed and there wasnt enough room so I pulled over and drove into really thick snow to let them pass and when my car started to get stuck I just pressed the gas harder because I thought I would just fly through it. So of course all that did was jam my car into the snow and we had to spend like 20 minutes shoveling my car out because I was stuck. I am literally the dumbest person ever like I do dumb stuff like this all the time I’m just so fuckin burnt. But at least it gets a few laughs, my friends are never gonna let me live this down hahaha