Kermit’s New Girlfriend

I just can’t even with this

While the audience of the 1980s might’ve been filled with the fear of powerful women and willing to sympathise with the “plight” of the lesser men who loved them (or at least profited handsomely off them) – and even understood and supported men’s urge to date their exes’ younger, dumber Plasticine lookalikes – the situation has changed in 2015.

Has it really, though? I mean, look at the plight of Miss Piggy:

Nowadays, Miss Piggy is a beloved feminist icon who covers Bitch Better Have My Money and Fuck the Pain Away (with equal aplomb) to applause from fans both new and old, and Kermit’s the behind-the-scenes wet noodle still whining about how hard it is to be green while picking up goodness knows how many of Hollywood’s near-infinite star-chasers.

And yet she’s kicked to the curb as soon as the new hot young thing comes along. Obviously, I don’t want to slut-shame Denise, Kermit’s new flame. But she should really think about the example she’s setting here. When did this

become hotter than this


I give the transgression of replacing one muppet with a different muppet in a fictional relationship with another muppet four problematics.