dumbass supreme

A Young Man Stands Before a Great Door at the End of The Game:

His once bright blue eyes, are now clouded over with white. This young man gave up his life to bring back his friends and save their session.

What will this young man’s name be?

John Egbert

Your name is John Egbert and you will never finish this Game with your friends. They can’t see you right now, nor can they hear you. They stand in front of the door that will lead them to the end of the Game. All of them will walk through that door, but you will not. You’re not allowed to, not anymore. You guess when you were alive you could’ve.

John: Call for your friends ==>

You can’t, you’ve already tried. They can’t hear you.

John: Realize you’ll never see your friends ever again ==>

You know. You’re sad, but you know it’s for the best. Besides, you’ll still get to see them! That is, if all the dream bubbles aren’t popped when the Game ends. You wonder if you and all the other doomed timeline guys will still be undead after the alpha timeline guys leave.

You hope so.

John: Observe friends ==>

Dirk and Dave are arm wrestling over who gets to open the door, and it looks like Dirk is winning, but you never know. Dave could do something ridiculous and win. Karkat is standing behind Dave, telling him how idiotic and grubbish this is and how they should just open the gogdamn door.

Rose and Roxy watch these shenanigans with amusement. Roxy cheers on Dirk while Rose slips in a few cynical comments. Rose and Kanaya are holding hands, and stay pretty close to each other.

Jake and Jade are sitting with their legs swinging off the platform, talking about… Whatever it is they’re talking about.

Gamzee stands alone, far away from everyone.

John: Be kind of sad ==>

You’re already kind of sad. You would be less sad if you could say goodbye to everyone.

John: Yell ==>

Sure, why not? You start yelling things you never said but wanted ranging from “I hate Betty Crocker” to “Karkat is my best friend”

You spill your heart on this platform because no one can hear it slash.

John: Stop yelling ==>

You stop yelling because you see that Dave and Dirk called everyone over. Dave had won the arm wrestle, and they were going to leave. They all congregate around the door, even Gamzee moves up a little, but not too close.

John: Watch your friends leave ==>

You watch as Dave put out his hand, and slowly goes for the doorknob.

Suddenly he stops.

Rose: Dave, why did you stop?

Dave: before we go i think we should say some words

Dave: for egderp

Rose: ….

Dave: so yeah

Dave: not all of us actually knew john egderp supreme dumbass lord of wind and lame jokes

Dave: and those of us who did can all agree

Dave: he was a huge doofus

Dave: he had a very shitty taste in movies

Dave: his pranks were lamer than his man-crush on nic cage

Dave: and im going to be honest he had some serious daddy issues

Dave: but all in all

Dave: he was pretty cool

Dave: for those of you who didnt know john

Dave: he was our friendleader

Dave: and he always had good intentions

Dave: and yeah he could be really annoying

Dave: and yeah his jokes were hella lame

Dave: and yeah he fell for pretty much every obvious trick ever

Dave: but i think we can all agree

Dave: he was a hero

Dave: so heres to john lameass egbert

Dave: he saved out lives and our game

Dave: we wouldnt be here without him

You don’t know how to feel. Wow. That was your funeral speech, or whatever the hell those things are called. All your friends are silent for a moment before a certain troll speaks up.

Karkat: I KNEW JOHN EVER SINCE HE FELL TO YOUR SHITTY EARTH WORLD AND I JUST WANTED TO SAY

Karkat: HE WAS A NOOK BITING BULGE LICKING OBTUSE SON OF A FUCK  BUT HE WAS OUR GOOD FRIEND

Karkat: AND IT WAS VERY BRAVE OF HIM TO DO WHAT HE DID

Karkat: I DON’T KNOW IF I WOULD’VE BEEN ABLE TO DO THE SAME.

Karkat: SO

Karkat: YEAH

You realize that this is your funeral.

This is where they are “”“”‘putting you to rest’“”“”

You’re going to be honest, now you feel at rest.

Karkat: ALRIGHT LETS GO THROUGH THIS GOGDAMN DOOR BEFORE BEC NOIR SHOWS UP OR SOME SHIT

Your friends laugh nervously and turn their attention back to the door. You watch their retreating backs and wonder if they’re going to miss you.

You’re sudden;y distracted when Dave sudden;y decides he can’t wait any longer, and grabs the doorknob and yanks the door open.

A cold while light comes shining form the door, and you’re forced to close your eyes.

The moment your eyes close, you become nothing but wind.