dumb-bear

anonymous asked:

will u tell me a story

“You can’t just ride a bear,” she said.  “It’s not built for transportation.”

I looked at her cowardly face.  “That’s loser talk,” I said.

She was a bit offended but I didn’t care.  I was going to ride that grizzly bear and I was going to do it today.

“Give me the lasso out of the bag,” I ordered.

“No… please, don’t do this.”

“That’s loser talk,” I said as I ripped the backpack out of her hands. 

The rope was thick and the lasso was heavy, but I had spent every waking hour of my life preparing for this day.  A heavy rope wasn’t going to stop me.

“What if it bites you?” she protested. 

But I wouldn’t listen.  This was my destiny; this was my fate.  I slowly approached the grizzly, rope in hand, my fingers ready to strike. 

I knew it could sense I was coming.  It turned, sniffed the air, and rose up on its hind legs.  He was towering, about a foot taller than me, and had thick brown fur shielding him from the cold.  I only had my $240 North Face jacket.

“Let’s go.  You and me.  It’s game time, you dumb bear,” I taunted. 

He slowly turned to face me.  Our eyes met, and he had a twinkle in his eye that looked like a diamond.  It was kind of cute for a bear. 

I readied my lasso.  The time was right.  The wind was settled and the air was clear.  It was now or never. 

But I couldn’t do it.  It was something about the way he tilted his head and stared at me—a sort of innocence and fragility that I had scarcely seen before.  I just couldn’t bring myself to tame such a wild beast.

“I can’t do it…. I can’t fight you, bear,” I shouted in tears.

“That’s loser talk,” said the bear.

Okay, so here’s a recollection of the best day of my fandom life? #ECCC

I’m usually just here to make short, dumb, spazzy comments, so bear with me, because this will probably be long. However, I’ll try not to be too repetitive and remember the interesting parts. ;) Apologies if the pics are effing huge. I don’t do this posting thing - ever. hahah

Keep reading

Phil: What do you call a bear with no teeth

Dan: Gummy bear you dumb fucking bitch

Phil: What the fuck

Dan: Don’t ever fucking joke about bears again. Them guys barely staying alive with this global warming ice cap melting bullshit. You’re lucky I don’t slap your ass from here to the North Pole, shut your whore mouth and think before you speak, Phil

Girlfriend Series: Seulgi

Originally posted by fyeah-seulgi

Prompt: RV as girlfriends?

  • Seulgi is such a cinnamon roll
  • honestly she is the type of person to say compliments and blurt out confessions because she accidentally thought aloud
  • “Oh my god Y/N looks so pretty right now!”
  • and then you’re like 
  • “Um…”
  • then she proceeds to blush and scream because didn’t realise she just did that
  • she teases you all the time without realising it
  • cause she sometimes gives you her ‘stage’ eyes and you literally just melt
  • like Seulgi is a goddess and you can’t deny it
  • she loves cuddling
  • and I mean you’re cuddling everywhere
  • like when you visit her at music shows and she just curls up into you even though she will get reprimanded by her makeup and hair stylists later
  • after the music show she’ll collapse into your arms because she wants cuddles
  • and even uses aegyo to get to you
  • You can’t help but melt when ‘Ddeulgi’ comes out
  • like she’s so cute and she’s a little puppy that needs to be protected

Originally posted by leaderirene

  • you also get to watch whilst she works out and see those ab muscles freakin’ flex
  • and she knows that you love watching her
  • and she will actually maintain her body for you because she’s so proud of it
  • She’ll ask you what looks nice on her, and will really take your opinion into account, if you like something and she prefers the other, she will actually choose the one you like
  • cause she wants to impress you
  • she’s so bad at cooking so like
  • don’t let her near the kitchen please
  • it’s like an actual danger
  • bafter a while you end up realising that Seulgi is actually just one dumb bear
  • but she’s your dumb bear

Oh look… THE OTHER GAY SINGULARITY

“No stoppin’ me, I strike at the heart.” 

@eloquentspeeches request! The Hanzo/McCree fusion, Hacree (I KNOW ITS DUMB BEAR WITH ME). Also, he has eight really tiny dragons (8 because that’s McCree’s ammo limit):

Abilities:

Scatter Search: Basically a scatter arrow that does a tiny amount of damage, but when a target is hit, it is visible to all allies for 15 seconds.

Rollout: A McCree roll that stuns enemies if you barrel into them. Similar to Reinhart’s stun.

Boost: Climb up wall and small jump once you reach the top (not passive)

Ultimate: Dead Strike - All eight arrows are shot (like McCree’s second attack) and hit any targets you can see without fail (Like dead eye but even if a player quickly ducks after firing) Each dragon is an arrow, and each death is instant. 

The other ones will be here: Sombra/Tracer    Genji/Hanzo  Zenyatta/????     Zarya/????

Red Velvet Reaction: A fellow member likes their gf.

Red Velvet Prompt: hello! what would red velvet’s reaction be to one of their members liking their gf? Thank you :) 

Originally posted by dumblets

Irene

Irene is possessive, and by possessive I mean possessive. She notices it when Joy starts to sneak peeks at you, and silently seethes in her jealousy. She’ll probably talk to Wendy about it, and try to keep her “green monster” at bay. Subtle things like wrapping her arm around your waist when you’re talking to Joy, or a quick peck on the lips.

Originally posted by dumblets

Seulgi (this is still my favorite gif oh my god T-T)

Seulgi is confused. she doesn’t really know how to tell Wendy that you’ve been together for a while, as you had to hide your relationship due to her idol status. So she would just sit and sulk around because she doesn’t want to break Wendy’s heart.

Originally posted by hahbin

Wendy

Wendy’s jealousy is pretty obvious, but you know she’ll never act out rashly because of it. She’s not entirely happy with the notion of Seulgi being this close to you when she should be the one you should be cuddling. So her most common reaction would be to distract herself. (Seulgi would end up getting a huge lecture off Irene later) “You dumb bear! Get away from my Jagi!”

Originally posted by jikookmode

Joy

“Kim Yerim if you don’t get away from them I swear to god!” Joy isn’t really the type to get overly jealous of her fellow group member. She’ll joke about it and tease her but she knows that Yeri is probably having one of her temporary crushes and that it will go away soon enough. The week after, Yeri starts going off about some other person.

Originally posted by sunmiyas

Yeri

Yeri is afraid. She’s very insecure about herself already, and is actually worried that you’ll leave her for her Irene unnie. Thoughts would go through her head. ‘Joohyun-Unnie is so much mature than I am’ ‘She would be better for Y/N’. You’ll have to console her, and tell her that she’s the only one you want. (Because it’s true)

Ships to Wreck - 4

[ Part 1 ] [ Part 2 ] [ Part 3 ] [ x ]

Rahlen belongs to the ever-indulgent @picchar​ who also did the illustration <3


Skin burning under Rahlen’s lips, Fenlin’s lips parted in a silent gasp, her fingers digging into his shoulders through his thin shirt. No words or sounds came from her throat, but surely he could taste the racing of her pulse, feel the hitching breaths where her chest crushed against his. Twisting, he rolled her onto her back, pressing her down into the mossy cot where he’d been recovering. Where she used to sleep. This was a dream. It had to be, she wasn’t this bold. Someone like him wouldn’t notice her. But the sweet ache in her belly and the feel of his hand cupping her face made her not want to wake. Even if she knew this was stupid.

Her foot hit something that gave way, and shockingly cold water poured down onto both of them. The tarp collasped, slipping pooled rain directly onto both of them. Fen’s yelp was silent but heartfelt and Rahlen hissed sharply, pulling back and gasping for air.

The water loosened the webbing on Fen’s hair, or they’d been distracted long enough for the web to degrade. Either way, as they yanked back in shock at the cold, Rahlen’s hand came free.

Spell broken, Fen’s face immediately turned hot. Mythal’s mercy what was she doing? THINKING? This was the dumbest of all things she’d ever done. Scrambling to her feet, she hurried to fix the tarp, but the mossy bed was already wet, and the fire was out. The tarp itself had a scorch mark on it now and the camp was a mess.

“Here, let me help,” Rahlen said, trying to get up to his feet. “Maker, I’m sorry I-”

Fen shook her head angrily and jabbed a finger at herself. ‘My mistake. My huge dumb mistake because apparently I can’t learn from my mother’s mistakes’. It was a very intense jab of her finger. Very eloquent. Whether or not the man understood all the frustration and embarrassment wasn’t something Fen wanted to think about. Neither was the way she could still taste his lips on hers, or the way her heart was still thudding hard in her chest.

After a few moments of trying and failing to get the camp set up again, Fen threw up her hands and gave in. There wasn’t much point. They were still short on supplies and without dry shelter, staying out on the coast wasn’t a good idea.

“Hey, are you okay?” Rahlen asked, and Fen jumped as she felt fingers brush over the back of her hand. She snatched it to her chest, worrying that if she left it in his reach, she’d fall back towards him and this time they’d be in the rain completely, nothing to shock her out of her dumb decisions. “Bear?” He asked, and his face was concerned and Fen gulped down cold air.

She nodded jerkily, then motioned to him, the camp, her and pointed inland.

“We need to go?” He asked, confused. His cheeks were flushed and Fen tried to not pay too much attention to the way he was half sprawled on the moss. But she wanted to. She’d never felt this want for someone before, if she hadn’t been caring for him since he nearly drowned, Fen would have suspected he was a desire demon. Could people be half-demon? If so, Fen was pretty sure that’s what he was.

She crouched, starting to pack up the essentials for their trip.

“How are we going to leave?” He asked, and Fen looked up to see him frowning, staring down at his hurt leg. “I can’t walk, I’ll just slow you down. If you go- I can stay here. I’ll fix the tarp somehow.”

Fen blinked, then squinted at him. No, he was not going to stay here. Why would he stay here? That was dumb. He’d die of exposure if something else didn’t get to him first. She thought about trying to gesture, to get that thought across, but it was too complicated. Instead she shook her head firmly, and held her hands up to her head to make bear ears, then pointed at her back with her thumb.

“You… sure you-” he said hesitantly, "Want me to ride you? I mean, I would happily in other circumstances but you seemed a bit flustered and upset just now,“ he said, arching his eyebrows.

Ri- Fenlin clapped her hands to her face and groaned silently. She nodded, ears bright red and giving away the embarassment of realizing what he’d meant. She took a steadying breath, shoving the memory of his lips and hands to the back of her mind, and nodded.

Yes, she’d be fine. Just, once the furious blushing stopped, or she’d start turning the rain into steam upon contact with her face. The sooner they got into the village, the better. He could meet up with some humans and sort out what he’d do and she could run off into the wilderness and hide and pretend she was okay with herself. At least seagulls didn’t judge her for having unreasonable feelings for waterlogged humans.

**

Originally posted by silverliningthe

Rahlen wasn’t sure if he should sit upright on Fen’s back, or sort of… lie down to spread the weight out better. He settled for leaning partly onto his hands that held on by her shoulders.

He didn’t really understand the silent elf. One moment she’d been practically purring under his lips, the next she was shoving him (literally) away and scowling. At first he’d thought that he’d pushed too far, and the thought of that was horrible. He’d asked, apologised, but as far as she could tell him, her problem wasn’t with him, it was with her.

Did she have a partner? What did the Dalish call those anyways? Husband? Wife? One of each? Maybe that was it. He wouldn’t press her for anything she didn’t want, but Bear would hardly be the first time Rahlen had to be discreet with a lover. Orlais had been… interesting to be sure.

Something was still bugging him about Bear though, and Rahlen wasn’t able to let it go. He couldn’t figure her out. Why help him and go through such lengths to make sure he was alright after he’d almost disemboweled her? Rahlen glanced guiltily towards the scabbed slash on her side at the thought. Was she going to try to get a ransom from his parents? If she was aiming for one, maybe that was why she was reluctant earlier. Though she hadn’t showed any kind of duplicity that wasn’t directed at her own wants and desires.

Rahlen shifted on the bear’s back, careful not to think too much about the soft golden skin or the way she’d smelled like wilderness and sea salt or-

"So are you able to make any kind of vocalizations as a bear?” Rahlen asked, focusing on the present instead of the recent past.

Bear huffed, shaking her head side to side and sending water droplets up into his face. Rahlen sputtered, and Bear huffed again in a way that he was sure was laughter. Slowing her steps, Bear lifted her head up and sniffed at the air, letting her massive head swing from one side to the other. Changing direction slightly, Bear plodded along through scrub that was getting progressively thicker. Rahlen watched a cluster of burrs get snagged into her fur, and wondered if he should pull them out. As he thought, Bear walked them through a whole thicket of burrdock.

He’d wait, Rahlen thought. Maybe they’d come off as she shifted back to human. If they didn’t he could always offer to help get them out of her hair. If she’d let him, that was how things had gotten out of hand the first time after all.

Lost in thought, Rahlen came back to himself as Bear stopped and wiggled her shoulder blades to get his attention. Blinking, the Prince looked around. They were in the rolling grasslands of the coastlands now, and ahead was a telltale plume of smoke rising from a small village.

“Oh! We’re here already?” Rahlen asked, and started to swing his leg around to dismount. Sudden pain flared, and he grunted, falling to the ground as the injured muscle refused to cooperate. He grimaced, clutching his thigh. The pain was already fading though, a good sign. It let him realise how close a giant bear’s head was to him, nose sniffing with soft huffs of concern. He reached up to steady himself on Bear’s shoulder and got back onto his feet.

“Sorry, I thought that it would have been more healed by now,” Rahlen muttered. He could feel the reproach just rolling off the elf-bear. She was right, that had been dumb. But in his defence, it had felt alright the entire time he’d been riding on her back.

The furry shoulder dissolved into magic and coalesced back into the small elf whose hair was thick with twigs and burrs. Looping his arm around her shoulders and holding onto his waist, she tried to help him walk. And if she’d been a half foot taller, it would have been a huge help. Short as she was, Rahlen still had to do much of the work himself, leaning on the small woman only when he had to.

“Tell me if I’m too heavy,” he said, glancing down at her. Bear blinked, and shook her head once. Not too heavy. He caught her looking a little too long, and smirked as she frowned and looked away. Her ears gave her away, already flushed bright at their tips. Maybe she’d come around, Rahlen thought. But it was up to her, it wasn’t as though he’d ever had a difficult time finding a companion, after all.

Glancing up at the village that they were slowly approaching, Rahlen recognized the flag flying from the Chantry’s spire. Two laurels crossed each other on a blue background.

It was his mother’s. The Couslands.

“Are… we in Highever?” He asked, staring at the wet flag that flapped half-heartedly in the breeze. Under his arm, he felt the elf nod once, then shrug.

Close enough.

Thank the maker, he was closer to home than he’d ever thought.

What Dating Taehyung (V) Would Be Like
  • Imagine dating a puppy. That’s exactly how he is.
  • He’ll kiss you all the time and be completely attached to you.
  • Also that means he likes to leave hickeys and maybe just maybe find pleasure in eating you out/sucking you off.
  • He would care a lot about you, though.
  • He’d always buy you gifts and tell you why each one was important and made him think of you or how they had this special meaning that he wanted you to know about because he felt it described you or your relationship. He would gush about it, too, and even though you hated how much money he spent you couldn’t help but love how cute he was.
  • He would always tell you that he loves you and make sure you know that.
  • He may be naïve at times. Or more like all the time. Even if it’s clear or right in his face.
  • So you’ll have to explain to him what exactly you mean with a lot of things you say.
  • But you find him adorable whenever he’s a little clueless so you couldn’t care less.
  • He will always want to be holding your hand, resting his chin on your head, cuddling with you in bed or hugging you.
  • He especially likes hugging you from behind, and enjoys surprising you whilst doing so.
  • He’ll do this anywhere, too; at home while you’re studying/cooking/cleaning or even when the two of you have a date or you’re meeting up.
  • Although sometimes it may get on your nerves because there was the one time where he got your shirt wet while you were doing dishes.
  • He actually surprises you a lot like that, and when he does that it usually ends up with him tickling you or kissing your face and the two of you would wrestle around for what felt like forever.
  • It’ll always end up in both of you laughing till your stomach hurts, and then more happy kissing would probably ensue.
  • And then that would end in makeout sessions and could go into something more if you wanted it to.
  • Oh and he loves french kissing. He loves doing anything that involves his tongue (if you catch my drift).
  • When the two of you cuddle you’re completely close; your legs and arms are so tangled that it’s hard to tell whose is whose and he holds you near and tight, your head against his chest with his chin resting on top of it.
  • On top of being a loving puppy, he would always act like a child, too (in a good way).
  • He’d constantly jump around and want to play or go somewhere and have fun, his energy never seeming to go away or lower in the slightest (kind of helps whenever the two of you go for a lot of rounds when you’re doing you know what).
  • He’d also like to do your makeup and try to dress you up and claim that he was “an expert” and “amazing at it” but it would turn out horrible. He would put way too much makeup on and your clothes wouldn’t match whatsoever even though when he dresses himself he looks fine.
  • In the end the two of you would just laugh while he insisted that you looked gorgeous and that you should go out on a date with you like that. And then you would stop laughing and tell him no with a serious face.
  • Also his fashion sense for himself is great and you sometimes can’t help but stare with how good he looks, wondering how he even manages to look that good with how he is.
  • When he gets a role in a drama or something with any sort of acting or will be trying out for a part he’ll rehearse the line(s) with you all the time. He’d be sort of nervous but at the same time he would believe it would go smoothly.
  • You love watching him act because he’s so talented when it comes to that. You’ll drop whatever you’re doing to help him practice and encourage him to do well.
  • Also when he gets the part he always tries to hide it as a surprise but always fails because he can’t help his grin. The two of you would celebrate it in numerous ways; dinner, cake, video games, sex, whatever.
  • He would want to take you out on dates all the time, too, just to show you off to the world. They could be at the park, aquarium, dinner, or anything. He just wants everyone to see how much he loves you.
  • He would take a LOT of photos with you and of you, talking about how each one was his favorite and he didn’t want to delete any of them. You would insist that he should especially since it was creepy that he had 30 photos of you sleeping? But he would keep them anyways no matter what you said or how you tried to take his phone from him.
  • He’d have really cute nicknames (in real life and contacts) for you, too. He wouldn’t just call you “Jagi” but something creative off the top of his head like “Powdered Vanilla Cake” or “Toffee Coffee”. He likes to rhyme with his nicknames, too.
  • But you would totally do the same thing. You would call him dumb things, like “Taeddy Bear” or “Tae-Shirt”.
  • You would almost never have a fight with him, because, really, how could you? He’s such a sweetheart and can barely even hurt a fly.
  • If you did fight it would end up being about little and stupid things like how he made a mess or if he ever injured himself. They would end up in the two of you making up with tender hugs and kisses.
  • And if you ever got mad at him the puppy part really comes into play; he’d give you puppy eyes and the biggest pout.
  • You’d always try to resist it but for some reason you were just so weak to his charms.
  • Whenever he was promoting somewhere else he would constantly try to call you, but sometimes the time difference would be too much and he’d end up waking you up while you were sleeping or disturbing you during work or school.
  • When he was home, you would always be doing something together. Even if it was just taking a nap, which you didn’t mind doing since you knew he needed sleep.
  • However he’d feel bad if you couldn’t go to sleep whenever he wanted to nap, so he would end up singing in order to try and lull you to sleep.
  • He would sing to you all the time, though, too. You love his voice and would be instantly peaceful whenever he did so.
  • But sometimes he would try to rap rather than sing, yet you still found him cute because of how passionate he was whenever he tried to rap to Cypher Pt. 3.
  • Taehyung would just be so in love with you and always wanting to spend time with you and would be willing to do anything with you.
  • There would even be times where you catch him staring at you and completely lost in thought. It would make you blush, but he loves seeing that. He loves you.
  • There would never be a dull moment when you’re dating him. The two of you would have fun wherever you were and you would always feel taken care of and loved unconditionally.