dumb vampire

8

female awesome meme; 5/5 female antagonists: katherine pierce (the vampire diaries)
“i will rip this town apart until it rains blood.”

Coming next season! A werewolf agrees to give a vampire piano lessons in exchange for patronage! The vampire just wants to slowly siphon the life out of the werewolf! But neither knows what the other is! Heck, the werewolf doesn’t know what he is! 

I’m sure this will go well. 8)

“Little Human”

Summary //

“You’re not supposed to be here little human. This isn’t the place for someone like you.”

The sound of her heartbeat is strong in his ears, taunting him, teasing him. Her eyes are scared and his hand is twitching to be on her jaw, tilting it to expose her neck to him. To satisfy this burning thirst he hadn’t felt for so long. He has a rule; never drink from the innocent. As far as he knows she’s an innocent but god she smells divine and her magnetic field is trying to pull him closer. He can’t, he won’t drink from the innocent.

OR

Y/N gets lost on the way to a Halloween party and Harry thinks her costume is insulting.

“Ow, Kate! Any tighter and I won’t be able to breathe.”

“You don’t need to breathe. Pain is beauty honey, pain is beauty.”

“You know what’s really sexy though? Not passing out in the middle of a party because you’re wearing a corset so tight it’s puncturing your lungs.”

“Oh I don’t know, maybe a knight in shining armour will catch you and carry you home. That’d be a bit sexy.”

Y/N doesn’t party.

Her idea of fun isn’t a crowded house, filled to the brim with her drunk peers shoving their tongues down each others throats. She’d much rather be at home with Kate, her roommate, and her cat watching some awful rom-com. She’s an introvert to a tee, but if there’s anyone who can convince her to put on a ‘sexy vampire costume’, stick on some ripped fishnet stockings and paint on some fake blood, it’s Niall. They’ve been best friends since they were five and she’s do anything for him, including walking to his girlfriend, Lilly’s, house in the dark on Halloween night dressed like a themed stripper. To be fair she did owe him, if he can bail on a night alone with Lilly just to comfort her after her asshole boyf- ex boyfriend breaks up with her over text, then she can spend a night drinking some vodka and tropical juice punch and sitting on a couch between two softcore porn scenes.

“Okay, I’m going. Make sure you let the cat back in yeah? Don’t let your boyfriend eat the left over pizza in the fridge and-”

“Yeah, yeah I got it. Go have fun, text me if you need me to fake an emergency so you can leave earlier. Love you!”

“Love you too!”


She’s been walking for give or take half an hour and considering Niall told her Lilly lives about ten minutes away from her house, it’d be smart to assume that maybe she’s lost. She’d tried to call Niall seven times now to no avail and she’s beginning to panic.

“Niall I swear to god, if i die because you were too busy sucking faces with your girlfriend to answer your phone I am so haunting you. You’ll never get laid again, I’ll be there knocking things over and pushing windows op- Oh!”

Interrupted mid-rant by the body of a stranger, she gasps as she falls to the floor, he balance thrown off by the heels she wasn’t used to. Looking up at him, she stutters for a second stunned by emerald green eyes that seem almost inhuman.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you there.”

For a moment he doesn’t say anything, he just stares. He looks angry and it does scare her a bit so when he reaches out his hand to help her stand up she’s hesitant to take it, he notices this and his exterior visibly softens.

“It’s okay, I won’t bite. Promise.”

She let’s out a sigh-laugh as she thanks him and takes his hand, gasping again when she feels how cold it is. She doesn’t think anything of it, putting it down to the late night autumn weather. He hisses when she touches it, quiet enough for her not to notice but not loud enough to mask the sound of her pulse.

“You’re not supposed to be here little human. This isn’t the place for someone like you.”

The sound of her heartbeat is strong in his ears, taunting him, teasing him. Her eyes are scared and his hand is twitching to be on her jaw, tilting it to expose her neck to him. To satisfy this burning thirst he hadn’t felt for so long. He has one rule; never drink from the innocent. As far as he knows she’s an innocent but god she smells divine and her magnetic field is trying to pull him closer. He can’t, he won’t drink from the innocent.

“I um- I was going to a Halloween party but I got lost. What do you mean someone like me?”

“I just meant… I just meant a pretty girl like you shouldn’t be down here wearing- what are you wearing?”

His eyes flicker down to her costume for the first time and he can tell what it is immediately. It’s insulting to say the least, a corset? Does she think vampires are stuck in the 1800′s? And the fake blood dripping from her mouth? Looks more like strawberry syrup to him.

“Oh! It’s just a dumb vampire costume I got from Party City. I’m not too good at pic-”

“You’re right.”

“Huh?”

“It’s a dumb costume.”

Excuse me?

“It’s not even accurate, maybe two-hundred years ago but now? Now it’s just tacky.”

“Well I’m sorry my Halloween costume isn’t historically accurate enough for you. God, I’ve never met someone so passionate about vampire representation. If I didn’t know any better I’d think you were one.”

A tight lipped forced laugh leaves him, oh little human girl if only you knew. Silence overtakes them again and he’s overwhelmed by the sound of her heartbeat again. He’s never heard one quite so loud before and he’s always been able to tune them out but it’s like hers is demanding to be heard by him and only him, knows if anyone else of his kind could hear it the way he could she’d have been bitten and left for dead long ago. He hadn’t fed in a while so he figures it’s just blood lust but he has to get her away from him if he’s going to stick to his rule.

“Well I guess I should head home. Sorry, again, about walking into you and all.”

He should be relieved, she’s leaving and he’ll go find some no good criminal to quench his thirst and then he’ll forget about her and everything will be fine. He can’t, however, stop thinking about the what if’s, what if she gets hurt? What if someone like him, without his morals, finds her? What if he never sees her again? These worries fog his mind as she’d walking away and he’s calling out to her before he can stop himself.

“Little human! Hey, little girl wait!”

It takes her a minute to realise it’s her he’s calling for, remembering she never told him her name but little human? That’s odd. Turning towards him, her confused face is met with his panicked one.

“Yeah? Is everything okay?”

“I just… It’s not safe for you to be walking alone this late at night. Maybe I could walk with you? If that’s okay?”

“You want to walk me home? Well, um, sure I suppose that would be fine. I’m Y/N by the way.”

“Y/N… Pretty. I’m Harry.”

Now sure, he knows walking with her doesn’t count as getting her away from him but the anxious feeling taking over him as she walked away was awful and surely he could control himself for just a little while longer. Just until he knew she was safe.


They walked in comfortable silence for the majority of the journey, except for the occasional small talk and him giving her his coat because of her incessant sniffling. The silence was nice, for her at least, it wasn’t awkward and uncomfortable like it was in the alley; it was like quiet between friends who didn’t feel the need to talk. However it was driving him crazy. Knowing her name had somehow made things worse, like when you name a stray puppy which makes letting it go all that much harder. Now, not only is her heartbeat drumming in his ears, now he’s incapable of ignoring the candy like scent of her. The more they walk, the more her heart rate picks up, the more she smells like heaven, the more he wants nothing more than to sink his teeth into her pretty little neck.

“Oh for god sake Kate.”

Y/N’s voice draws him out of his head, noticing that she’d stopped walking and watching her pick up a black cat with one green eye and one blue eye.

“Harry this is Salem, Salem this is Harry.”

Smiling at her, Harry utters a ‘cute’ and reaches out to pet the cat laying in her arms only to be met with a hiss.

“Salem no! Be nice. Sorry about that, he doesn’t really like strangers.”

“I understand, I don’t really like strangers either.”

Giggling, she sets the cat on the ground and moves to unlock the door.

“Would you like to come in? We have some left over pizza in the fridge.”

Faintly, from inside the house she heard the voice of Kate’s boyfriend yell out ‘no we don’t’. Groaning she turns back to Harry, awaiting his response.

“No, I can’t, I need to- I have dinner plans.”

“Oh okay. Well thank you for walking me home. Goodbye Harry.”

“Goodbye little human.”

There it is again, little human, very odd indeed.


“Y/N I’m so sorry!”

“Niall, I’m working.”

He’d been apologising all day and secretly she’s not even mad anymore, just likes watching him squirm.

“Just take your break and talk to me please? I feel terrible.”

Looking up from the table she was wiping down she sighs and grumbles a ‘fine’ before letting her boss know she was going on her break. Sitting down at a vacant table he’s quick to explain himself.

“I left my phone upstairs in Lilly’s room, had no idea you were calling me love. I called you back as soon as I heard your messages I swear, I was so worried when you didn’t pick up. Thought you were dead in a ditch, almost sent out a search party until Kate texted to tell me you were home.”

“It’s okay Niall, I’m not mad. Would’ve answered but my phone was dead and I went straight to bed when I got home. It’s fine, honest, Harry kept me safe.”

“Harry? Harry who?”

“Just this guy I bumped into, literally. He was nice, he walked me home.”

“Sure he didn’t just want to get in your pants love?”

“Niall no! Think he has a girlfriend anyway, said he had dinner plans when I invited him in.”

“You invited him in? Was he hot?”

“He was beautiful Ni but he was a bit strange. Kept calling me ‘little human’ like he wasn’t or something.”

“Maybe he’s not, maybe he’s like that kid from Stranger Things, is she human? Or maybe he’s like Edward Cullen. Maybe you’ve got yourself a vampire boyfriend.”

Winking at her they laugh as she kicks his leg under the table.

“He’s not my boyfriend and I’ve gotta get back to work which means you need to leave.”

“Fine, I’ll go but if you end up in a love triangle with a werewolf and a vampire don’t expect me not to say I told you so.”

“Bye Niall!”


The walk home from work is long and all she can think about is Harry. They’d met so briefly yet he’d managed to completely consume her thoughts. The image of his eyes won’t leave her mind and she can still feel the icy touch of his hand. She doesn’t understand how she could be this hung up on a guy she’d known for what? Two hours? She’d had boyfriends she didn’t think about this much. However what she hadn’t expected was for him to be sat, head in hands, on her porch steps when she got home from work.

“Harry? What are you doing here?”

His head shot up at the sound of her voice and as soon as they made eye contact her pulse was in his ears again. Standing up as she walks past him her scent overwhelms him and he has to put his hand on the wall to steady himself.

“I need to talk to you, it’s important, can I come in?”

“Yes of course, come in. Do you want something to drink?”

“No, no thank you. Look I need to ask you something and it’s going to seem strange and if you say no I understand but if you could just keep an open mind? Please?”

“You can ask me anything Harry, what is it?”

He looks distressed and she’s got her hand on his arm as a sort of comfort but it send electricity down his spine.

“Can I bite you?”

“You want to… bite me? Why?”

Her face changes from concern to confusion in a matter of moments. Can he bite her? Why on earth would he need to bite her?

“That- That’s not an easy question to answer little one and quite frankly I don’t think you’d believe me.”

“Well, why don’t you try me? I promised I’d keep an open mind.”

He eyes her, trying to decide whether or not he trusts her but honestly at this point he doesn’t know if he cares about trust, he just needs to taste her.

“Okay… okay I’ll tell you. Maybe we should sit down.”

Taking his hand, she leads him to the living room. Sitting next to him, she turns to face him. His eyes look worried and it makes her take his hand in hers, makes her think maybe she should just let him bite her if it’ll take the worry out of his eyes.

“Hey, you can trust me okay? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to and you can just bite me. You don’t have to tell me but you can trust me.”

He’s at a lose for words. She’s just going to let him bite her? No questions asked? Why does this make him want to tell her? After staring at her, looking for any sign that tells him to turn and run, he squeezes his eyes shut and breathes in sharply before admitting something unspoken to her.

“Y/N I- I’m not like you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I was born in 1881, I was a writer for the papers and I was sent to Russia to do research on an article I was writing about the war between Japan and Russia. It was there that I met a woman, her name was Juliana and she was not like me in the same way that I am not like you. I fell in love with her, damn near almost quit my job just to stay with her in the middle of a war zone. Two months I stayed with her, hiding from bullets in her tiny apartment just adjacent to the market but you see Y/N we couldn’t hide forever. I got shot, I was buying bread from the market when the Japanese attacked. Juliana, she heard the commotion from the apartment so she hid. When it was safe she came out to me, I was as good as dead, and then she did something; she made me like her. That was in 1904, I’ve been 23 ever since.”

Finally, he looks at her, jaw dropped and eyes shocked. This has to be a joke, surely he can’t be serious, right? He’s not seriously telling her he’s 136 years old.

“So you’re telling me that you’re a… You’re a vampire?”

“For lack of a better word, yes. You don’t believe me do you.”

His shoulders drop in disappointment when he thinks she doubts him, everything in him was telling him she wouldn’t believe him but he had hoped.

“No! No it’s not that. It’s just a lot to process. I mean you’re telling me you’ve been alive since 1881. I just- I don’t know Harry, I’m sorry.”

She knows she’s not making much sense but to be fair neither is he. Sighing he stands up and lifts his shirt, revealing his scar clad abdomen covered now with a tattooed moth. Gasping she reaches out to trace of fingertips over the circular indented skin.

“You’re serious? Like you’re seriously serious?”

“I’m seriously serious little human.”

“And that’s why you call me that? You call me little human because you’re not human?”

A laugh of disbelief leaves him as she asks. Of all the questions he thought she might have, one about a pet name he hadn’t put all that much thought into wasn’t on the list, but he figures that she’s right. That is why he calls her that.

“I guess it is, moppet, I guess it is.”

In the mist of everything that’s being told to her, she remembers why he was here in the first place. He wants to bite her.

“You can bite me now. If you still want to?”

His eyes meet hers and before she can blink she’s pulled down onto the couch and into his lap. He takes her chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilts her head to the side before moving his hand to cup her jaw. She sighs in contentment when he licks the spot he plans on biting, only to be cut off by a whimper when two teeth pierce into her skin which felt a lot like getting two shots at the same time. He moves his thumb from cupping her jaw to stroke her cheek to calm her. When the first drop of blood touches his tongue his eyes roll to the back of his head. It’s euphoric. She tastes like cloud nine and it worries him that he might not be able to stop himself. It’s only when he opens his eyes to look at her that he knows he needs to stop, notices how her eyes are closing and that his hand is the only thing holding her head up.

Pulling away he licks over the spot he bit to sooth it leans her onto his chest.

“Hey, little one, you still with me?”

With a small hum of confirmation he’s lifting her into her arms and carrying her to the kitchen.

“You gotta stay awake for me yeah? Know you’re tired but you need to eat and drink something for me first okay?”

He hears a small, soft ‘okay’ come from her lips as he pulls out some biscuits from her cupboard and some apple juice from her fridge, constantly looking down at her to make sure she’s alright. Walking back into the living room he sits back on the sofa, Y/N in his lap again. Picking up the carton of apple juice he sticks the straw in and holds it up to her lips.

“Here, drink this, it’ll make you feel better.”

He watches her as she drinks it down. He met her yesterday, how could he care this much about someone he’s known for just under 24 hours? How could he care this much about a human? He gives her two biscuits to eat and places his chin atop her head, holding her close to him. He broke his rule, he drank from an innocent, and he can’t say he regrets it. She’s not scared of him like he thought she’d be, she let him bite her. He doesn’t understand what makes her so different but he thinks he likes it, knows he likes her. He thinks he’s going to keep this one.


They sat in the warm after glow of whatever it was that had just happened for about an hour before Y/N had the strength to lift her head and look at him.

“Harry? Can I ask you something?”

“Of course you can, little one.”

“Why me? Why did you want to bite me so bad?”

“Well- uh- I’m not sure, to tell you the truth. When we met you consumed my senses instantly, all I could hear was your heartbeat and you smelt like everything good. And when you were going to walk home alone? I was so scared that you were going to get hurt, I’ve never felt that towards anyone before. I’m not sure what makes you different, but I know that you are. I know that I would really like it if I got to spend more time with you.”

Looking down at her, she’s looking at him like he’d put all the stars in the sky and he knows that if his heart still beat it’d be beating for her. Sure, it doesn’t definitively answer her question, but it’s enough for her. She places he head back into his neck and whispers an ‘I’d really like that too’ as one thought floods her mind.

Niall is so going to say I told you so.