duke loves

Some of the best things I’ve heard in Heathers rehearsal so far:

  • “Oh no! My shirt, where’d it go?” followed by really slow and awkward finger guns
  • “Free pizza, and we don’t even have to buy it a pussy!”
  • “Those stupid tree thumpers”
  • *dramatically pirouettes and leaps in* “BIG SWORDFIGHT IN HER MOUTHHH”
  • “Aww that seems like a relationship that would last.” “Yeah until one of them blows up” “I guess you could say their love is….. explosive”
  • *Our choreographer screaming like one of those sheep used in parodies back in vintage youtube days whenever she gets frustrated or needs to get people’s attention.*
  • “So you’re going to do a Jesus lift” “A WHAT” “Just put your arms out and they’ll lift you like you’re Jesus resurrecting from the cross”
  • “Welcome to Newsies on steroids.”
  • “Be the closeted gay we all need.”
  • “The first step to any good plan is murder.”
  • “How much bitch is enough bitch though?”
  • “Imagine having to explain to someone like ““oh how’d you break your tailbone?” ““Oh I booty-popped too hard.”” 
  • “When we go off to makeover Veronica, can she still have the monocle, but, hear me out, it’s now bedazzled.”
  • “I have to check the historical accuracy of bedazzling in the ‘80s.”
  • “Okay, but what if we made it gay?”
  • “COSTUME NOTE: SOMEONE MAKE RAM PARTY SLIPPERS!” “What if they’re like bunny slippers, but with tiny party hats?!”
  • “This is Ram, he’s not very nice, but somehow my best friend still wants to fuck him.”
  • “Your whole bio better be about how much you love and respect women or else I can’t help you when your ass is being kicked.”
  • “I paired you guys together because you say he’s your sort of boyfriend later.” *Kurt proceeds to emark in various sexual dance endeavors with multiple other women* “That’s where the sort of comes into play….”
  • “SHUT UP HEATHER” *bursts out crying*
  • Our original Chandler dropped out so our original Duke got promoted to her role and just looks at me and says “Oh my god this is the most Heather Duke thing that has ever happened to me”
  • “That’s a school cheer?!?!”
  • “Real question: WHO HAS A FUCKING LOCK ON THEIR CLOSET?”
  • “What if when she makes you spit up the pills, your wig flies off?” “Oh no you’ve discovered the real reason behind my crisis, I AM NOT A NATURAL BLONDE”
  • “Maybe he should take up knitting or something as a hobby rather than therapedic murder.”
  • “The saddest thing is that’s not even 3rd base”
  • “Veronica, you’re soaking wet!” *cue our assistant stage manager loosing her shit*
  • “My character description is just internal screaming.”
  • “Who needs a dance partner when you have weed?”
  • “I feel bad having to ask but was that supposed to be a dick joke?”
  • “Do I get extra points if one of the pills hits someone in the face?”
  • “I can’t remember the lyrics but I’m pretty sure I’m still gay”
  • “Why didn’t they just throw the bomb and run or something, like why are they so determined to die?” 
  • *recites Blue Reprise as demonic slam poetry because we didn’t have rehearsal tracks yet*  
  • “Veronica, it’s not a phase. I’m just naturally a slightly psychotic bag of angst with great hair.”
  • *music director teaching us Blue* ”They’ll curl up on your face. And purr like-” *slowly looks up from music and proceeds to put his head in his hands* “There’s moments that I evaluate my life and this is definitely one of them.”

And we’re still about 3 weeks from tech week

Alfred as emergency contact

- In school when they ask for the emergency contact, all the boys put Alfred down because let’s be honest he is more liekly to get there before Bruce.
- Duke learned quickly that Alfred is quicker to reach for problems then Bruce. At least for Alfred theres only one number to call.
- For Dick at the BHPD Alfred is his number one contact. Bruce wasn’t added till later. Note says to call Alfred first though.
- Somehow he landed on as extra emergency contacts for Stephanie and Harper. He has Stephanie’s mom number saved in case as well.
- Tim has his number in speed dial for his own phone and his office at WE.
- In Jason’s phone Alfred in the number listed. Under relationship it says grandfather.
- The only numbers most of them have memorized is Alfreds and the manors.
- This means he gets the calls for fights in school and if one lands in jail. Those calls he kindly tells Bruce about.
- Damian also results in getting calls from zoos and other places filled with animals.
- Most go to see him instead of a doctor. This usually results in him dragging them to Leslie’s if its bad enough.

Cute things boys do

- kiss you and tell you they worship you
- sneak through your window and fucks you
- kills your best friend and enemy
- shoots the boys who bully you
- scares the shit out of you to make you fake your own death to get away from him
- attempts in bombing the school so you can cuddle by the fire
- and lastly blows up themselves leaving you there having to explain and clean up the mess

So cute…

Jason Dean

I always end up crying because JD in the musical is so pure, he doesn’t know that what he is doing is wrong, because he has always been treated like that. When he goes to Veronica’s house in “Meant To Be Yours” he just wants to be with her, he wants to kill everyone who hurt them, because the only person who really loved him and supported him was her. When he finds finds her “dead” I always start sobbing. He is hurt. And then he really is a psycho. “Still I will if I must” is the line. Though the note he wrote was very powerful too. I think it is all because in the movie he wants to kill her, he is a murderer; in the musical he is just blind, but he really loves Veronica. He worships her. He trades his life for hers. Their love is God.

seventeen: a summary

veronica: i’m going to stand ten feet away from you because that’s how you get through to someone

veronica: stop murdering people

veronica: we’re seventeen 

jd: my mom died

veronica: well suck it up asshole. go buy some clothes or something

jd: will you go to prom with me

veronica: only if you choose me over murder

jd: i choose you over murder

jd, internally: i still wanna murder heather duke

veronica: i’m pretty sure he still wants to murder heather duke