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Jonny Eindigo / Book by Duga


Contents: All the Chapters (Including Chapters I, II and more.
Warning: Chapters may be short).

Chapter I: the Strawberry Pie

Jonny likes to walk down the street. His friend Henry Jackson used to walk with Him, but Henry has work to do. Henry works at a factory that makes .. Chairs? Anyway, Jonny walks alone. One time, on the night of the 16th of July, Jonny walked past a house He never saw before. He hadn’t noticed it before then, and He never saw it again (Pff, Lies). Jonny saw that on the windowsill, there was a Pie. A beautiful, Fresh-out-of-the-Oven, Strawberry Pie. Jonny decided this wasn’t a big deal (Fool, ‘course its a big deal), and walked on. Obviously, He changed His mind later and came back for the Pie, but the house was gone (Should’ve eaten it when You had the chance, Eindigo). The next day, He told Henry all about the Magical House. Henry didn’t believe the story. and Jonny walked the same route, at the same time, everyday ever since, in search of the house, just to prove Henry wrong.

Chapter II: the Pie is Eaten

Henry died 18,000,009 Years after this happened:
A year after Jonny saw the house, He saw it again. It looked the same as it did last time. Yellow walls, no door, and one open window. And just like last time, on the windowsill, was a (Magnificent) Strawberry Pie. Jonny sneaked through the unwatered hedges, crossed the sandy ground which was apparently a garden, in the direction of the Pie.

While He walked, Jonny thought, why do they call it a Strawberry? Is it like, a Straw/Berry? Or is it made of Straws? Or did people name Straws after Strawberries? Or the opposite?

By the time Jonny reached the Pie, He forgot what He was doing there. Then a voice in His head was all like Eat it, eat it, eat it! EAT IT!

Jonny ate it.

Chapter ???: What it Felt like to Eat the Pie

The moment He swallowed the Pie (Which was tremendously satisfying), Jonny couldn’t see anymore. His vision went blurry, then black, and then He got sucked into the ground. It felt like being sucked into a VacuumCleaner. Light hurt His eyes, even though He couldn’t see.

Chapter III: Being Frank

Frank was flying. He opened His eyes. He wasn’t flying. He was on a giant, Black Feathered, winged, Kangaroo. In front of Him, on the back of the Kangaroo, was a scarlet book. The title read You’re Flying Frank!

Frank hated that book. Every time He looked at it, it just reminded Him He wasn’t flying. The Kangaroo was flying. Now Frank hated the Kangaroo. The hatred for the creature made Frank want to get away from it, and He jumped off. He didn’t hit the  ground. He wasn’t falling anymore. He was standing on the ground, watching Himself fall from the Kangaroo. Except it wasn’t Him falling.

His name was Bert. He didn’t know the Guy falling from the Kangaroo, but He looked strangely like Bert’s Grandma. Bert liked Ice-Cream, like His Grandma. And that Guy had Ice-Cream all over His fingers.

While Frank was falling, He realised He had Ice-Cream all over His fingers.

Bert was in a forest, surrounded by trees (These trees were purple, and grew Watermelons on Their branches. Purple Watermelons). The top of a giant Sand Castle could be seen over the trees. Bert didn’t care (Until the Flying Kangaroo crashed into it and it crumbled). Sand came pouring in from all directions, even though the Sand Castle was to Bert’s right, and Bert drowned in it.

When Frank was finished eating the Ice-Cream off His fingers, He realised that He was falling into a lot of sand (A lot of sand. Like, damn).

Chapter IV: History, with Professor G-Zeus

As You probably already know, this is a story about Jonny Eindigo, not Bert or Frank (Which, sadly, are not real people). I, am Professor G-Zeus. I am not the Writer of this story. Well, You know enough. Shoo now, shoo.

Chapter V: The Apology

We apologise for making the previous Chapter too short.

Chapter VI: Back to Jonny

It took time for Jonny to realise He wasn’t Frank or Bert, but He soon remembered Who He was. He heard metal clanging together.
Clang
He was also lying on something soft and comfy.
Clang
When He got up, first of all,
Clang
Second of all, Surprise! an elderly Women was Sword-Battling Robot Skeletons, trying not to slip on Her dress. Then She sliced up the Robots into tiny little bits of nothingness. When She noticed He was awake, She walked over to the couch He was lying on, put a hand on His forehead and said,
“Go back to sleep.” and then, rather forcefully, pushed His head back down. Then She shoved a large amount of Paprika into His mouth and He dozed off.

Chapter VII: Burn the Witch

Jonny woke up again on the same couch, years later.

Meaning that the Old Lady had died. No wait,

She was sitting on an Armchair, Her head laid back, eyes closed. She was just sleeping. Which meant it was still the same time, But Jonny had a weird feeling this Lady was immortal. Then He noticed the Elf kneeling next to the couch.
“Go back to sleep, Sir.” He said. But it sounded more like a warning than a fact. Then again, why would it sound like a fact?
“Uh .. No thank You.” Jonny said. The Elf looked about four inches taller than Jonny, wore dirty robes, and had small pouches of that Sleeping Paprika tied to His Rope-Belt.
“Sir, You don’t understand, You must go back to sleep.” the Elf’s voice sounded frightened, Like, if Jonny didn’t go to sleep, the World would explode or some Monkey named Gerald would suffer a terrible death. The Elf put one of His hands into a pouch and pulled out some Paprika. Jonny freaked and slapped the powder out of the Elf’s hands.

Chapter VIII: Gabby’s Point of View

Gabby heard a noise. But like, a loud noise. And Gabby was very vigilant, so She woke up immediately. But as soon as She did, some Kongrita (Sleeping Paprika) got thrown into Her mouth. She was going all sleepy and stuff, but then She saw Juba (the Elf) Wrestling the Guest. She then used Her Anti-Kongrita Skills (Cause thats a thing) and was fully awake. She got up from Her Armchair and slapped Juba across the face.

Chapter IX: The Jackstonites

So .. The Old Lady woke up, then the Paprika that Jonny slapped out of the Elf’s Hand flew into Her mouth, so She dozed off, then the Elf started to push Jonny down on His back by force, then the Lady woke up again, got out of Her chair and slapped the Elf. After the slap, the Elf looked extremely sick, and then spit something out of His mouth. Other than a lot of teeth, what came out looked like two Name-Tags. The Old Lady put one on Her chest and the other on the Elf’s. Her’s said-

Hello, My name is
Gabby Ellen Jackstonite

And the Elf’s said-

Hello, My name is
Juba Woody Jackstonite

“Good evening, I am Gabby. And this is My Grandson, Juba”
There was something weird about Her face. It reminded Him of Someone .. But Who? .. Jackstonite?
“Uhh… Hello.” He said. Now He remembered. “Um .. Do You know a H-”
“Henry Jackson? Yes, I do. His real name is ‘Quentin Hen Jackstonite’ but He wanted to change it for when He went to the Mortal World” Jonny was highly weirded out by this comment, and decided just to accept. Also (He repressed a laugh) .. Hen?

She said the Elf, Juba, was Her Grandson. Maybe Henry had a brother?
“So like, is Henr- Quentin, also Your Grandson? Or is He Your husband or something? He always had a thing for old ladies-”
“Of Course He’s My Grandson!” She scowled. “Besides, I am much too old for Him. seventy-six thousand years old! He’s just eight-hundred and fifty-two! And I raised Him Here, in this very house, for all that time.”
“Wait .. What?” He asked. Henry was Immortal?
“Oh, yes. Me, Juba, Quentin, and all the other Jackstonites, cannot die because of age.” She smiled in an I-Have-Something-You-don’t way. Then Jonny remembered that He described to Henry the house He grew up in, and He said He didn’t Believe Jonny (Tut tut tut .. Henry .. Such a liar).
“Well .. I think it’s time You go home-” Jonny got up “-And please, Have some Pie.” She handed Him a slice of the Strawberry Pie. He took it, bit the tip, and remembered a joke Henry told Him Years ago.

He laughed.