dudes sick

I see my “Voltron using Earth memes” post and raise you “English is difficult and Coran and Allura don’t understand metaphors.”

~

Lance: “Yeah, I’m up for that!”

Coran: “Why are you up?”

Lance: “Oh, it just means that I’m available to do something!”

Coran: “Oh okay! Earth slang!”

*one week later*

Hunk: “Yeah I’d be down for that!”

Coran: “Why are you down???? Are you all right?!”

Hunk: “Oh no, I’m fine! That just means that I’m available to do something!”

Coran: ???????????????

~

Lance: “Coran, your mustache is on point today!”

Coran, looking around in confusion: “What point? Where is the point my mustache is on?”

~

Pidge, seeing Hunk’s new invention: “Dude! That’s sick!!”

Allura: “It is a machine, is it not? How can it be ill???”

~

*team sees Shiro’s muscles*

Hunk: “Oh my god I’m dead.”

Lance: “Deceased.”

Pidge: “Rip me.”

Keith: “I’ve been stabbed.”

Allura and Coran: “Is this??? Normal??????? To die from attractiveness on Earth??”

~

Hunk, teaching Allura and Coran to write in English: “Good job, Coran, but you spelled ‘eye’ wrong.”

Coran, frowning: “Pidge said it was the single straight letter with the lines on either side.”

Hunk: “That’s ‘I,’ like ‘I went to the store.’ You want ‘eye,’ like your eyeball.”

Allura: “Wait a moment, Lance told me you spelled it ‘aye.’”

Hunk, facepalming: “That’s like…for a pirate. We don’t use that one very often.”

Coran: “English is very confusing.”

Hunk: “Don’t even get me started.”

~

Pidge: “Hunk I would kill someone for this cheesecake you made.”

Coran: *yanks Allura’s cheesecake away and flings it at Pidge*

Pidge, covered in cheesecake: “What just happened”

~

Shiro: “I’ll just be a second, guys.” *comes back ten minutes later*

Hunk: “Give me a sec, Pidge.” *goes to help her five seconds later*

Lance, waking up: “I’ll be out in a sec” *half an hour passes*

Keith: “One sec, let me grab my bayard.” *returns in three minutes*

Pidge: “This program will only take a sec to download.” *finishes 13 hours later*

Allura: “How long???? Is a second????”

Coran: “I have no idea.”

How The Inevitable Filler Episodes Are Gonna Go Down
  • <p> <b>Lars:</b> Oh thank god, you're here! Where were you? It's been months!<p/><b>Steven:</b> See, we were going to save you, but then there was this really kooky side plot where Peridot ran for mayor, and then Onion<p/><b>Lars:</b> Steven<p/><b>Steven:</b> wanted help running a lemonade stand, but he was using unethical business practices so we had to shut him down, and then<p/><b>Lars:</b> Steven<p/><b>Steven:</b> Pearl got upset about something, fusion mom and purple were also there. There was a lot of crying and a little singing and<p/><b>Lars:</b> Steven I Could Have Died<p/></p>
Sick Muse Starters

Feel free to mix and match!

“Are you alright?”

“You’re not looking to good…”

“I think you should stay home today.”

“Do you need to go to the doctor?”

“Let me make you some soup.”

“Would you like a blanket?”

“Ew, don’t touch me, what if you’re contagious?!”

“You just get comfy; I’ll put on your favorite movie.”

“You’re looking a little green.”

“Do you need a bucket or something?”

“Want a tissue?”

“Just tough it out, I’m sure it’s nothing”

“Woah, you look awful.”

“I’m not feeling too well.”

“Does everyone else feel the room spinning?”

“I think I need to lie down…”

“You need to take care of yourself.”

“I think you’re running a fever.”

“You sure you need to be here today? You’re not looking so good…”

“Do you want to go home?”

“Just rest for a while.”

“Do you need me to get some medicine?”

“I think I’m gonna puke.”

“You’re burning up!”

“Come on, I’m taking you to the doctor.”

“I can’t be sick, I’ve got work to do!”
“I just wanna sleep.”

“I feel like crap.”

Sick AU Prompts

- “I told you that you’d get sick if you cuddled with me… and no I’m not making you soup because I’M STILL SICK.”

- “Dude you have a serious fever.”
“Ha, it’s just because I’m so hot you can’t handle this.”
“No this is like hospital level fever. You are going to die.”

- “I want to just lay here forever, I feel so crappy.”
“Stfu you aren’t the one with the flu.”

- “Hey, can you buy another box of tissues?”
“I just bought you 3 yesterday!”
“I KNOW.”

- “I know this is a family cure and it’s supposed to make me better but that looks straight up disgusting.”

- “If you don’t take your freaking medicine I’m going to kill you.”                     “No need, this flu will do it for you.”

- “Ugh, do I have to get you soup right now?”                                                       “I will sneeze on you if you don’t.”                                                                       “Fair point.”

- “Look, I finally organized all my papers. Even though I’m sick!”                          *sneeze*                                                                                                                “Oh fu-”

- “I’M DYING.”                                                                                                         “You’re fine, you just have a cold.”                                                                       “I SAID, I’M DYING.”

- “I know you were super sweet and bundled me up in a bunch of blankets and brought me soup and tissues, but I have to go to the bathroom now…”

Ode to Gabriel Agreste
  • Adrien: *singing* Piece of shit dad
  • Adrien: I got a piece of shit dad
  • Adrien: That freaking pile of shit always making me feel sad
  • Adrien: My dad's a big piece of shit 'cause he's trying to kill me
  • Adrien: And my family's freaking broken, I gotta go to therapy
  • Marinette, Alya, Nino, and Chloe: *singing* He's a piece of shit!
Favorite Game Grumps Things

- “FUCK YOUR FATHER”

- the entire Sonic Boom series 

- Grubba voice 

- Anytime Arin says “my pussy” in THAT voice 

- Arin freaking out while Danny is just chilling 

- D Club

- “You think I came out the pussy drawing fucking Mozart"  

- I’m gonna pre 

- Obama watching Game Grumps 

- "Just suck me off, dude.” - Arin Hanson 

- Sick JO sesh 

- Danny calling Arin “big cat”

- SLEEPY TIME GRUMPS

- When either one of them or both of them is sick 

- Arin showering Danny with compliments and Danny getting all flustered 

- Danny being right about something in regards to a game and Arin shooting him down saying a completely wrong thing but Danny being like “okay” 

- LIFE STORIES 

- INSPIRATIONAL GRUMPS 

- Them both being super deep one minute but then going back to talking about dicks the next minute 

- Danny and Arin teaching each other about things they know about!!! 

- Arin saying something he’s not entirely too sure about and Danny having to Google some weird shit 

- D: “Looks like we need a walkthrough.” 

A: “No, dude I’m fine. I got this.” 

D: “Are you sure, dude?” 

A: “Yeah I’m fine.” 

…. 

A: “WHERE’S THE WALKTHROUGH.” 

- Danny telling Arin which way to go and Arin refusing, which makes him end up going in the wrong direction 

- When they start to talk about something (Danny especially), but then they get distracted by something in the game and then completely forget what they were gonna say 

- When Arin has to explain a meme to Danny