ducky dog

Ducky and I were both tagged in a 20 Beautiful People post by unironichashtags! Ducky and I discussed it and we agree that it was probably a case where he got credit for “beautiful” and I got credit for “people.” So together…BAM!

Teamwork makes the dream work!

Me: Well, Duck, plenty of people were glad to hear that you’re okay.

Ducky: Uh huh. That’s very nice. But you know what?

Me: You don’t feel so good?

Ducky: I don’t feel so good.

Me: Jinxed it.

Ducky: Does that mean you started spinning the house?

Me: Not literally, but in practice, kinda’.

Ducky: What happened?

Me: The vet called it “idiopathic vestibulitis!”

Ducky: Good for the vet.

Me: Nobody knows what causes it.

Ducky: I know what “idiopathic” means.

Me:

Ducky: But vestibulitis? 

Me: I jinxed it and now the house spins.

Ducky: It’s getting better now.

Me: Yeah. The vet said it should get better in about a week.

Ducky: Why did I get it?

Me: It’s fairly common in older dogs.

Ducky: Uh huh. And why did I get it?

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Anyway, I’m glad we took you to get checked out but it looks like this isn’t a big deal. Looking like you’ll be back to normal by Thanksgiving.

Ducky: Thanksgiving?

Me: Uh huh.

Ducky: Mashy tatoes?

Me: Well, the lady and I are going to her parents’ house for Thanksgiving this year. So we’re not making mashed potatoes here on Thursday.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: SPINNING!!! SPINNING!!!

Me: You’re bluffing.

Ducky: It’s idiopathic. Could be caused by disappointment.

Me: I’ll figure something out. I promise. I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ducky: Hey, Daddy?

Me: Yes?

Ducky: Thhhhhhhppt!

Me: Almost done, Ducky.

Ducky: If you thought I was thirsty, I appreciate the thought. But water goes in the Ducky, not on the Ducky.

Me: Not this water.

Ducky: Ah. 

Me: You needed a bath. It’s been weeks.

Ducky: I see. I had not considered that. In that case allow me to reconsider.

Me:

Ducky: Upon further reflection, thhhhhhhppt, thhhhhhhppt!

Me: Almost done. I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: Thhhhhhhppt!

Ducky: I like the new upholstery in the bathroom, Daddy.

Me:

Ducky: And I can move it around so I can be on the tile if I want cool and on the upholstery if I want toasty.

Me:

Ducky: Weird pattern. Looks like the towels you use when you give me a …

Me:

Ducky: This isn’t new upholstery is is?

Me: I’m afraid not.

Ducky: Bath time?

Me: Bath time.

Me: Duuuuuuucky…

Ducky:

Me: Duuuuuuuuuuucky…

Ducky:

Me: Comfy Duck?

Ducky:

Me: Sleepy Duck?

Ducky:

Me: So sleepy you can’t even hear me?

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Ducky? I think it’s dinner time.

Ducky: Hey, Daddy?

Me: Yes, Ducky?

Ducky: I think it’s dinner time.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ducky: Hey, Daddy…

Me: Yes, Duck?

Ducky: Fleas Naughty Dog!

Me: Ah…

Ducky: Fleas Naughty Dog!

Me: Yes, you know I like…

Ducky: Fleas Naughty Dog. Protect the perro he’s a fleecy dog!

Me:

Ducky:

Me: “Perro” means dog in Spanish. So that’s pretty goo…

Ducky: I WANNA WISH YOU A MARRIED FISH MASK!

Me: So you know “perro…”

Ducky: I WANNA WISH YOU A HAIRY DISH MUSH!

Me: But you don’t…

Ducky: I WANNA SQUISH YOUR BLUEBERRY WISH MATS FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!

Me:

Ducky:

Me: That last part was half right.

Ducky: And the rest? ALL CUTE!

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy. Merry Christmas.

Me: I love you, Ducky. Merry Christmas.

Fleas Naughty Dog to one and all!

Ag & Ducky

Ducky: What’s going on?

Me: It’s Halloween, Ducky!

Ducky: Okay then.

Me: There are gravestones! Spoopy!

Ducky: Where?

Me: In the camera.

Ducky: Okay. 

Me:

Ducky: I just realized I have more questions.

Me: What are gravestones? Why would they be floating in mid air? How are they exactly “in the camera?”

Ducky: Those are good questions.

Me: Not your questions?

Ducky: Nope.

Me: Your questions?

Ducky: Is it dinner time?

Me: Not yet. Your other questions?

Ducky: They’re going to sound a lot like the other one.

Me: “Is it dinner time yet?”

Ducky: I say, “Yes!”

Me: No. I mean was that your question?

Ducky: Was what my question?

Me: “Is it dinner time yet?”

Ducky: I say, “Yes!”

Me:

Ducky: First base!

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Happy Halloween, Spoopy Buddies! See you next week!

Ag & Ducky

Me: Where’d your ears go, Ducky?

Ducky: What?

Me: Your ears are so far back they’re almost gone.

Ducky: I had no idea.

Me: You’re pretty cute when you do that.

Ducky: I had no idea.

Me: Being cute probably increases your chances of getting some of this pizza crust.

Ducky: I had no idea.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: Lying decreases your chances of getting some of this pizza crust.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: I had some idea.

Me: Uh huh.

Ducky: An inkling, if you will.

Me: Right.

Ducky: CUTE DOGGIES GET PIZZA CRUSTS!!!!!!

Me: Yeah they do. I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Ducky: Hey, Daddy. Is that the Ducky Noodle?

Me: The Ducky Noodle?

Ducky: The one noodle I get when you make yourself a lot more noodles.

Me: You can’t have too many noodles. They’re not good for you.

Ducky: How what why?

Me: Too many would make you fat.

Ducky: Is that what happened to you?

Me:

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Before you lost that weight, I mean.

Me:

Ducky: Been looking good, Daddy. Very skinny. Veeeeeeeery skinny.

Me: You know…

Ducky:  DUCKY NOODLE!!!!!!!

Me: GAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!

Ducky: Daddy?

Me: Yes, Ducky.

Ducky: That was a long walk.

Me: You like walkies!

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: That was an abnormally long walk at an unusual time of day.

Me:

Ducky: And what does “Just another stupid Rattata” mean?

Me: Funny you should ask. Dont…move…

Ducky: After a walk that long, not an issue.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: Hey, Ducky. Someone thinks I should celebrate my run by giving you mashed potatoes. Isn’t that cute?

Ducky: The logic behind that is sound.

Me: I didn’t provide any logic and in fact it doesn’t make a lot of sen…

Ducky: MASHY TATOES!!!!!

Ducky: Mmmmm. Logic.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Thanks to @pulchraetlibris!

Me: What?

Ducky: Thanks.

Me: For what?

Ducky: All the things.

Me: Like?

Ducky: Feeding. Petting. Water. The yard. The lady. The mama.

Me: Okay.

Ducky: Tuggers. I like tuggers. Thanks for those. And fuzzies. And treats.

Me: You’re welcome.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Walks. Thanks for the walks. And for forgiving me when I go on my own walks.

Me:

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: And baths. I don’t like baths, but they’re good for me. Not all dogs get baths.

Me:

Ducky:

Me: There was an ASPCA commercial on TV, wasn’t there?

Ducky: They tricked me. I know to leave the room when that “Arms of the Angels” song starts.

Me: Ah. They do have a new song now, yes. Joe Cocker’s “You Are So Beautiful.”

Ducky: And the first dog looked like Foley.

Me: Yeah.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Not all dogs are as lucky as me. And I don’t say “Thank you” enough.

Me: Not all people are as lucky as me. No thanks needed. I wish all those doggies had homes.

Ducky: Me too.

Me: Best doggies in the world come from shelters.

Ducky: Like me!

Me: Yup. And like Foley.

Ducky:

Me:

Ducky: Thanks, Daddy. For everything.

Me: Thanks, Ducky. For everything.

Ducky:  I love you, Daddy.

Me: Love you more, Ducky.

Ag