More progress with Eve the Pyromancer in Duck Souls : Prepare to Cry Edition!
Sen’s Fortress.. ugh.. what can I say? Those axe blades knocked me to my death more time then I’d like to admit. I’m sure there is a ton of stuff in there I didn’t get.
Eve : “But I saved Big Hat and helped out Onion Boy. Then Iron Tarkus n’ I whipped a big ol’ Iron Golem silly. …..Well I whipped him silly.. Tarkus got stepped on a lot then thrown around. I hope he’s alright.”
He’ll be fine. Oh and there are mimics in the fortress. Did you know there were mimics in the fortress?
“That. Sucked. At least I got sweet sweet burning revenge.”
After that Eve was whisked away to Anor Londo, a beautiful place full of death. Lots of death. But also lots of sweet armor and gear.
“I got new silver armor and a giant helped me make a fiery spider leg sword. It’s kind of bad ass.”
Dragon Archers…. ‘nuff said there.
“BARF!! I hate those guys!!”
“Thankfully Solaire was there in the bonfire room. Sun husbando~ … oh yeah and I saved Onion Boy again. Big nerd.”
The only thing left to do here is fight the Tag Team Champions. There’s also the painted world, but I think we’ll come back for that later.
Here’s a round-up list to refresh all of AOMG’s 2015 releases since it’s almost the end of the year. This compilation is to help out anyone who may have recently taken interest in AOMG or missed any of the music releases during the year for some reason. Lots of times there’s talk about the output of companies or labels and many people may be more or less aware of certain artists and their releases or songs they participated in, so here’s a list which shows just how musically active AOMG has been as a label this year.
OK here we go, a proper update on Eve’s ongoing adventure.
Blighttown… Blighttown sucks. I totally understand why most people who quit Dark Souls forever quit in Blighttown. However.. if you loop around to the backdoor in the Valley of the Drakes it’s not super horrible.. just normal horrible.
Eve: “Smells like a butt crack and everything sucks!! I need like, a hundred showers!”
Don’t give them ideas, Eve. I’ll have notes on my NSFW blog asking for that in the morning.. just you watch.
Anyway! I found the crimson set, which is goofy looking, and I fought jackass pygmies with their razzafrakkin blowdarts to get a fire keeper soul. (Estus +2 yay!) But honestly the thing that killed me the most was falling off the damn windmill on the way back out. Yeah go ahead and laugh but UGH!!!
“Someone greased the platform or spilled a soda.. swear!”
Maneater Mildred showed up and tried her best to end me, but Eve folded her like hot laundry. Now we’re buds. She helped in the Quelaag fight by standing in lava screaming. Quelaag was nice and distracted by this spectacle and I got a few good hits in.
I also have to give a big shout out to Riving Legend on Xbox 360 for showing up when summoned and being just an amazing player. He bowed, gave me some more purple moss, showed me the way to some items, killed a lot of tough monsters and in all honesty did like.. 90% of the work in the boss fight. He even sent a nice note afterwards. Top notch player. Big love.
Oh and because he is a pyromancer of high calibur a special witch showed up who can sell big whammy spells for Eve once I get more souls.
“And then I joined an eeeeeevil chaos cult lead by a sickly albino naked girl with a giant spider for a butt! Woooooo!”
I’ll probably loop back to the entrance of Blighttown from the Depths so that I can grab the ninja outfit and talk to the NPC there for giggles. After that it’s off to the fortress of snake-men and horrible traps.
Extroverted Intuition (Ne): Teatime is… an unconventional assassin, to say the least; he spends his time not only thinking about how to off mythological beings, but to do so in a supremely creative and unusual way, that completely eradicates them from existence (taking control of teeth, in order to control the minds of children and make them collectively lose faith in supernatural beings); he’s not only thought about how to get rid of the Hogfather, but also the Soul Cake Duck and Death, too. Though he makes plans, he deviates from them in pursuit of exciting new possibilities (Susan and the sword, taking on Death, messing with the Tooth Fairy).
Introverted Thinking (Ti): The assassin’s guild leader is shocked that he spends time pondering the questions of the universe (“Can Death die?”). Teatime is a philosopher and curious about how things work, and why; he questions people, he pushes their buttons, he decides if they are logical or not. He’s more interested in the logic and creativity behind something than the moral implications of it; everything is to be analyzed, taken apart, explored to the fullest (also with Ne).
Extroverted Feeling (Fe): He is detached from his own emotions, and strangely inquisitive about them (“I don’t have any friends… or any enemies”); but he’s also good at reading other people and knowing how to manipulate them, or appeal to their feelings. Teatime is curious about how others perceive him (he asks if nailing a dog to the ceiling was the wrong thing to do, when it seemed logical at the time) but not enough to change his behavior. He likes to push people’s buttons by insulting them.
Introverted Sensing (Si): The thought of destroying an entire deity doesn’t ruffle his feathers much; it’s too sentimental, and who cares about the details of the fabric of the universe or protecting tradition? Teatime does, however, muse a bit on his past, as well as compare the people he knows to other sensory elements in the environment (“You look like…”).
1. When a little girl wants to sit next to you on the train, offer her the window seat. She’ll tell you her name is Savannah and she’ll point out the window and say this is my favorite kind of weather. When you ask why, she’ll say the sun is out and it’s alright. Watch her pull out a coloring book and listen as the tune of her hums alters with each stroke of a crayon, watch as she makes music with her Crayolas and art with her voice. When she starts to remind you of your mother and you start to wonder if we reincarnate into little girls on trains when we die, don’t say it out loud. Just think it.
2 Embrace your child-like mind. Build a treehouse. Hide your dreams in it and watch them age through a plastic telescope dangling out your bedroom window. Meet up with the neighborhood kids at the playground and let them play dodgeball with your soul. Duck for cover. You might get hit and you might turn black and blue but do not let them win.
3. Drive down the highway (slightly above the speed limit). Watch the sun set and sing along to your favorite ‘90s song with your best friend by your side. Don’t worry about sounding good. It was the ‘90s, after all. Laugh at how terrible he sounds and realize how terribly wonderful it feels to be falling in love.
4. Write your memoir upon a classroom desk in #2 pencil. Make it an open letter to God, to your father, to Kurt Cobain. Address it “to whom it may or may not concern”. When the bell rings and you’re headed off to your next class, don’t erase it.
5. Come into class the next day to see that someone continued your story. Don’t erase it.
6. Dance around in the rain. Your neighbors will stare. Stare back long enough so that they feel uncomfortable. Shrug. Invite them to dance with you. Splash in puddles filled with just enough water to get your feet wet but not enough to drown. If you want to drown something, place your worries by your feet, spin around and watch them ripple into the sky.
7. Throw bricks at clocks to stop time. Count minutes in sidewalk cracks and days in city lights. Take months one daydream at a time and never let the years pass without taking a second to breathe. Burn the calendars. Stop the deadlines. Don’t run. Walk. You’ll be less likely to trip and fall on your face.
8. Make a new friend. Make a new “more than a friend”. Take them out to coffee (your treat). Discuss the universe and be amazed to find out that the universe takes shape in their eyes.
9. When you’re 500 miles away from home and feeling barely forgotten but hardly remembered, call him up on the phone. If the call goes to voicemail, hang up. If it goes to voicemail after ten tries, hang up your heart. Let it dry.
10. When it’s a Sunday morning in the Upper East Side and you’re drowning in pillows thinking about how much you don’t want to wake up, give yourself a minute. Or five. Or ten. Stand up and tear open the curtains like they do in Broadway musicals. Squint at the light. Smile a little. You’ve made it this far.
The sun is out and it’s alright.
An Optimistic Pessimist’s Step-By-Step Guide to Happiness