I AM Fit to be a Mommy
Every day I open my inbox to a message that is along the lines of
“you shouldn’t be giving birth”
“your child is going to be fucked up”
“give it(the baby) up”
“you cant be a parent”
“you’re a shit person for getting pregnant”
“you’ve messed up that baby already by getting pregnant”
& there are so many more
& I’m really tired of it.
Because I have Dissociative Identity Disorder I am labeled unfit to be a mother. No matter how much I know that this is untrue, it can still break me down a bit.
This discrimination is making me sick to my stomach. How come everyone with a disorder, with a disability, to those who are trying, who actually love the children in their bellies, are told that they are unfit to be parents.
When there are people that are truly unfit being congratulated and being told that they will make “perfect parents”; when they WILL NOT. When drugs will take the front seat to their children, when alcohol will be bought before milk, when they baby will be unsafe just coming home. When the baby, just a few months old, is trying it’s hardest to survive, or to the unborn infant who is being filled with toxins day & night. Individuals who could care less about financial and environmental stability for their children. Among so many other things, so many other people. Tell me; how are they fit to be a parent?
Tell me, someone who will never do any of those things above & who has made a stable and beautiful environment for my unborn little love, is not.
I am not unfit to be a Mommy.
I will be an amazing Mommy to my little one.
- I have a full-time job, in a manger position, which in a month I will be receiving a raise due to my out-standing work ethic.
- I have graduated college with honors receiving the degree I dreamed of.
- I am engaged to the most wonderful person in the world.
- I have a beautiful home, which is stable and our fridge always has food and our bills are always paid.
- I own my own car as does Aaron. Both of which have been paid off.
- I have a well off, happy, adoring life .One that I worked very hard to achieve and I easily maintain.
- I also have a beautiful, unwavering system. My alters are beautiful, respectable, well-rounded people.
- I do not drink, smoke, party, take drugs, or do anything that is harmful to me or my baby and neither do my alters.
When I was in middle school, I took care of my little sisters. I cooked, I cleaned, I bathed them, I walked them to school every morning, I washed their clothes, I put them to bed, and I protected them when my parents couldn’t. I did so much more than that as well. With DID, with Depression, and with so much more going on in my life. However, I always put them first. They are both living happy, full lives. Not “messed up”.
I raised my nephew from the time he was two-weeks old until he was two-years (when he went to live with his mother & grandparents) when I was in Highschool with DID, depression, anxiety, and he is the happiest child you will ever meet. I still get him every other weekend and he loves those weekends the most. Knowing I have DID has not hampered him in any way nor has it “messed him up”. He enjoys doing laundry with Conner, watching movies with Arora, and he loves his Kikyou (what he calls Kiki); especially when she quotes his favorite movie lines and does his bedtime “magic spell”. He doesn’t even see me cry- because for him I will always smile. I will do the exact same for my baby.
That is not all either. I love Hachi with all of my heart and soul already. I loved Hachi before I even got to see a picture or hear a heartbeat. I’m not the only one. Kiki, Arora, and Kyokyo love Hachi with everything they have as well. Hachi is a part of ALL of our lives, not just mine.
Hachi will always come first for all of us and always will.
So I would love for someone to tell me exactly what makes me unfit to be a mother.
This discrimination needs to stop.
This stigma needs to end.
EVERYONE is capable of happiness.
To be a parent. You just have to ensure that you are ready & that you will ensure that your baby will be given the best life possible.
I am and I will.