Summary : You are an agent that worked alongside the Avengers , with an unusually close friendship with Captain Rogers. What happened when he reveals his true feelings for you before you leave on an undercover mission? By the time you return from the mission, you’ve missed the events of Civil War. What happens when you come home and most of your friends are gone? And when they return?
Pairings : No official pairings yet, but Steve Rogers x reader, Johnny Storm x reader, Tony stark x reader, avengers x reader.
Warnings : swearing, angst,tiny bit of fluff
Italics are memories , & bold is the readers thoughts !
Am I supposed to say hi to him or ignore him? Why the hell do I even agree to come to these dumb things? This isn’t happening again… Johnny pulls you from your staring contest with Steve and onto the dance floor. He begins swaying you both to the beat of the soft music Tony’s DJ is playing.
“You don’t have to talk to him. Just forget about him tonight Y/n, you don’t need him,” Johnny says into your ear.
You know he’s right but maybe you should be the bigger person here. You don’t answer Johnny, just place your head on his chest instead. When the song finishes, you both walk towards the bar. The only open spot was next to Sam and Bucky, which also means near Steve. You take a deep breath and make the first move over to them, Johnny hot on your heels.
“Hey guys!” you say, a half fake smile plastered itself across your face.
“Well hot damn, Storm you are one lucky man!” Sam says as he kisses your cheek and slaps Johnny on the shoulder.
“I know I am, I’d hate to be the guy that lost this beautiful creature,” Johnny says. This is why I keep him around. You look to see Steve’s jaw clench at Johnny’s remark, knowing it was towards him. Bucky steps up to you next, leaning in for a kiss on your cheek.
“You look gorgeous, doll.” You blush at his words. You guys have spoken a few times since the incident with Ross and he seems to be getting more comfortable with you which you absolutely love. He’s so much more than meets the eye.
"You look pretty incredible yourself, Sergeant,“ you purr. You watch as his cheeks tint pink as he smiles and laughs.
You hear someone clear their throat and you know already know it’s Steve.
"Hello, Steve,” you say politely. Be the bigger person, I can do this.
“You look stunning, darling,” He says, and you can hear the sincerity in his voice. Sharon appears next to him looking killer as always.
“Sharon you look great!” you say, pulling her into a hug. You have no reason to be mad at her. She didn’t know about you and Steve, she’s always been nice to you, and you aren’t going to let Fuckboy Rogers ruin anything.
She hugs you back, returning your compliment.
You and Johnny finally get your drinks. You down your tumbler full of whiskey then order 4 shots of tequila. Johnny bursts out laughing next to you.
“You know it’s not good to mix liquor, right? How the hell are you going to take four shots!?” he questions. You roll your eyes.
“I’m only taking two. The others are for you, handsome. Don’t you know you aren’t suppose to let a girl drink alone?” You ask like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. He shrugs, taking down the shots with you when they appear.
You see Johnny looking around the room and the group of beautiful girls giggling to each other and looking at him. Just because I’m not getting any tonight, doesn’t mean he shouldn’t.
You nudge his shoulder, tipping your head in the girls direction.
“Go get ‘em, tiger.” You wink.
“I’m not leaving you! I’m your date!”
“Johnny, I love you for coming with me, but seriously. They haven’t taken their eyes off you and I’m not trying to cock block my best friend. GO,” You order. He salutes you and follows your order. You see all the girls swoon as soon as he reaches them. You snort as you watch them give him all their attention.
You order more tequila, and as you down the second shot you feel a hand on your waist. You turn meeting a set of beautiful blue eyes.
He laughs at your excitement.
“I don’t think I’ve gotten the chance to see you drunk yet, doll, but I’m liking it so far.” He makes you blush for the second time tonight. The slow song that begins to play catches your attention. Bucky sees the mischievous look in your eyes as they meet his.
“What are you up to now?” he questions warily.
“Sergeant Barnes, would you care to dance?” you ask softly, a tiny smile appearing on your lips. His eyes go wide and you can tell he is nervous.
“Doll, I haven’t danced in a long time, longer than I’d like to admit.” You step forward, placing your hands flat against his chest.
“Maybe I can refresh your memory then. Please?” Your infamous puppy dog eyes are on full display. He sighs, letting you take his to guide him to the dancefloor. When you situate yourself among the others dancing, you begin moving slowly with the music.
“See? This isn’t so bad!” You both laugh and he sends you a dazzling smile that leaves you breathless. He swiftly spins you out then brings you back. Giggles pour out of you at his movements.
“You’re doing much better than you led me to believe, Barnes.” You raise your eyebrow at him. What a sly son of a bitch.
“Maybe I was just nervous about dancing with such a beautiful dame. It’s a little intimidating.” His 40’s charm shows, resulting in a permanent blush on your cheeks.
“You really know how to sweet talk a girl. I’m a little confused on why you don’t have a date Buck, you’re quite a catch.” Now it’s his turn to blush.
“I had a couple offers, but Sam, Steve and I decided to go solo tonight and relax.” Steve didn’t come with Sharon? Huh, maybe that’s why his tie didn’t match her dress. Whoops.
“I thought Steve came with Sharon?” you try to ask without seeming to interested.
“Nope, we ran into her and then her and Steve just kind of stuck together. None of us really like these events.” You hum in agreement. You didn’t notice the song change to another slow paced beat. You look up, locking eyes with Bucky. You didn’t realize how close your faces really are, your noses slightly brushing the others.
“Mind if I cut in?” Rogers. Be fierce. He’s still an ass. Buck looks to you silently asking if you’re alright with this. You nod, pushing yourself up to place a kiss on his cheek.
“Save me another dance, Sergeant.” You wink, watching as a blushing Bucky backs away from you. His hands were replaced with Steve’s, his grip a little more rough. You stay silent as you begin dancing, keeping your eyes away from his.
“Are we going to talk about it? Or are you going to keep avoiding me?” You can pretty much feel the annoyance radiating off him.
You sigh, finally meeting his stare.
“Talk about what , Steve?” you say innocently. A frustrated groan rumble in his chest.
“The elevator, Doll. Playing dumb isn’t going to get you out of this.” Of course it’s not, nothing ever goes how I want.
“Steve, I don’t know what you want me to say. Yes, I did miss you. Yes, the kiss felt… fuck, it felt amazing. But you know what doesn’t feel amazing? Thinking of you kissing Sharon. I’m not going to act like I’m over it. You obviously don’t know what the hell you want and that’s okay. But I’m not-”
“I know what I want y/n, I want you.”
He pulls your body flush against his, your chest pressing to his. He begins to dip his head down to yours. As he does, flashes of him and Sharon play in your mind; them kissing, the way you saw him looking at her when you first saw them tonight.
You lean back, away from his oncoming lips.
“You think you want me, and maybe you did at one point. But I saw the way you look at Sharon tonight and the day you kissed her. It wasn’t how you look at Nat or Wanda. And as much as I care for you, I will not be anyone’s second choice and I will not compete for your attention. Steve I miss you, I miss my bestfriend. But I fight people for a living; I don’t want to fight with another woman over your love.” Maybe hell tell me I’m wrong… maybe this can work. Your chest tightens as you watch his unreadable expression as you speak.
“Thats all you want then? To go back to how things were? Y/n, I don’t think I can. It was easier before I told you I love you, before I got to feel your lips on mine. I do feel something for Sharon, but I-” I guess not.
“That’s all I need to hear, Steve,” you say. You push yourself away from him. You’re frantically trying to fight the tears that are threatening to pour out. I already knew how this would play, why is it still hitting me this hard? I need to get it together.
“Steve, we are just friends. And as your friend, I’m telling you to go dance with Sharon, don’t lose your chance.” The words burn as they leave your mouth. A defeated look spreads over his features. He lifts your hand and places a kiss on it.
“I love you. If this is what you want then I’ll stay your friend. Just remember y/n, this was your decision, not mine.” You nod, staring at his back as he goes to find Sharon. Johnny steps in front of you, looking you over.
“I heard everything, what do you say we get out of here?” he suggests.
“Didn’t anyone ever teach you that eavesdropping is rude?” He rolls his eyes and pulls you to him to dance. He holds you to him, shielding your face from others with his shoulder.
He leans closer to you. “You’re covered, let them go babe,” he whispers. How does he always know?
You listen, letting the tears roll freely down your cheeks. You quietly sob into his shoulder for a few moments but quickly pull yourself back together when he warns your that he thinks Bucky is heading your way. Thank goodness for waterproof makeup. You hear Bucky clear his throat.
“Ready for that second dance, dollface?” You wave Johnny off, telling him you’ll find him after. He nods and winks at Bucky as he takes his place.
“Couldn’t stay away for long, could you?” you tease. He lets out a soft chuckle, rocking you both to the music.
“Listen doll, I’m not completely sure what is going on with you and Steve…”
Oh great. A lecture from the bestfriend. Just what I need.
“Let me finish. I know eavesdropping is rude,” he shoots you a look. Damn super soldier hearing.
“But I think what you did was incredible. No one should ever have to fight for someone’s love. Not a lot of people think like that, and it must’ve taken a lot to be able to do that. I know he is my bestfriend, but he is a punk so I honestly think you’re better off. It’s his loss. You, my darling, are too breathtaking not to want. I just feel bad for the man that you choose, he’ll be fighting the others off.”
Your tears reappear, but not from sadness this time. Just purely from Bucky being so damn cute. He wipes them as they fall.
“Shit, I didn’t mean to make you cry!” You laugh and nuzzle your face into his neck.
"They aren’t sad tears Barnes, calm down. That was just really sweet of you to say, thank you.“ You dance silently with him, keeping your face in his neck. You know things aren’t going to be exactly the same with Steve which sucks. The way Bucky spoke to you was as if you’ve been friends for years. The way he comforted you and smiles at you ,reminds you of how it was with Steve before everything happened. Maybe Bucky was brought into my life for a reason.
A week later
things between you and Steve went back to kind of normal. You’re beginning to think maybe you weren’t in love with him in the first place, you just loved him. You’ve always heard there is a difference between being in love and just loving someone, now you finally understand. Watching him and Sharon stung at first but it doesn’t bother you anymore. You find yourself gravitating towards Bucky more and more when he’s in the same room as you. He even comes to hang out with you and Johnny. They get along about as well as Sam and Bucky, just a little more civil. When you’re not with one you’re with the other.
It’s now a little after four in the morning and you can’t seem to stay asleep. You begin to wander around the halls of the tower, not bothering to change out of your pajamas. There is something oddly calming about walking the halls in just a tee and underwear, knowing no ones awake to catch you. Or so you thought. As you reach the communal level, you decide to watch TV hoping it’ll make you tired. You walk through the doorway and see the TV already turned on. A familiar mop of dark brown hair peeking over the top of the couch. Why is he awake?
"Buck?” you ask quietly, trying not to startle him.
His head whips around.
"Y/n, what are you doing up?“ His voice raspy, making goosebumps form on your arms. How is he attractive at 4 a.m? He isn’t human. You become aware of your pajama, well lack of actually.
"I uh- I couldn’t stay asleep,” you confess, playing with the bottom of your black tee. You hear him shuffle around on the couch then signal you to join him. You jump over the couch, landing on your ass with a bounce. He chuckles then places his blanket over the two of you.
“Cute panties doll, didn’t take you as a lace kind of girl.” You watch a sly smirk spread across his face. You roll your eyes, shoving his bare chest.
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me yet, Barnes.” His cheeks flush pink at the suggestiveness of your statement. You giggle.
"So why are you up and what are we watching?“
"Nightmares still, not as bad as before though. And you chose, I’m still not too sure what’s good these days.” It’s not fair he still has nightmares, he deserves peace. Poor old man.
You take the remote from him and explore Netflix with him, explaining which shows are good. You end up watching Parks & Rec. You both can’t control the laughter escaping as you watch half of Season One.
You don’t know who moves first but somehow you end up laying fully spread out and spooning Bucky’s side as he lays on his back. His hand gently traces shapes into your bare thigh where it is resting under the blanket. You feel your eyes slowly get heavier and you try to fight it but quickly find yourself losing. You shift a little, ending up with your nose pressed into Bucky’s neck. You begin hearing quiet snores leaving his lips as his chest moves slowly.
“Good night, James,” you whisper, placing light kiss to his neck. You give in letting your eyes close, falling asleep with a small smile on your face.
Pueden parar ya y hablo de Samuel, por qué Meterse con ¿él y Willy ?, joder dejenlo en paz, no se dan cuenta que hasta por la cabeza se le ha ocurrido dejar YT, ¿Eso quieren?, paren ya,
Basta, ya es demasiado, como dice él “Si eso quieren lo van a conseguir”
ÉL ya explotó, y ese era el motivo de estar triste y Willy también, basta de joder con Wigetta, lo poco que queda se esta llendo al drenaje, solo por no pensar, les pregunta ¿Qué tal Wigetta extremo? y responden , Wigetta es real, confirmen. ¿Es enserio? Paren, yo amo shippearlos, pero hay un límite, PORQUE SI SAMUEL O GUILLE O AMBOS SE VAN SERÁ NUESTRA CULPA, SOLO LA NUESTRA.
y también fue por lo del totems y diamantes, pero también porque cada dos por tres hay Wigetta es real y como el tuvo que poner PARA CALLAR LAS BOCAS Y DEJAR DE JODER…
SOMOS DOS AMIGOS JUGANDO…ESO¿QUIEREN? que se vuelva ¿cortante?
I have watched Winter Soldier three times this week, and I was watching this scene when the idea of this fic occured to me. Of course, maybe the idea behind it is wrong. It is based on my own theory.
If you have any feedback, please let me know! I hope you enjoy!
WARNINGS-IMPLICATION OF SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
You pulled up to Steve’s old military camp in silence. Nat was baffled, you knew, by the possibility that such an advanced program, which had bested even her, had originated from such an unlikely place. Steve was wading through his memories of the camp, of a time before Captain America. A time when life was simple.
You were worried. There had to be a reason you were led here, and it couldn’t be good. You were overcome by this feeling that as bad as things were now, they were going to get much worse. You stayed silent, choosing not to worry the others more than necessary, and followed closely behind Steve, hand hovering above your gun, anxiously waiting for someone to jump out at you.
Nat wandered for a bit, searching out any signals that would assist in finding the source of the data that had nearly cost Fury his life. She called out that there was absolutely nothing. No heat signatures, no waves. She began to theorise about what could have happened. You didn’t understand much of what she said.
But Steve seemed to have noticed something, and strode towards a cold, angular, concrete building.
“Steve?” You asked, still following behind him.
“Army regulations forbid storing ammunition within five hundred yards from the barracks,” Steve began. “This building is in the wrong place.” With absolutely no effort, he used the rim of his shield to smash the padlock off of the door, and the three of you ventured inside.
Your mouth dropped open. There was a SHIELD insignia upon the wall, and office furniture, long forgotten, littered the dusty room.
“This is SHIELD,” Nat uttered.
“Maybe where it started,” Steve replied.
Entering a smaller room to the side, your eyes were drawn to three photographs that hung in broken frames on the wall. Howard, Peggy and Colonel Phillips smiled down at you.
“There’s Stark’s father,” Nat pointed out.
“Howard,” you elaborated with a fond smile.
“Who’s the girl?” Nat asked. Your eyes moved from Peggy’s beautiful face to Steve. His jaw clenched slightly, and instead of replying, he turned to investigate the room.
“Agent Peggy Carter,” you said gently. Nat nodded her understanding, but before she could say anything else, you heard Steve’s voice.
“If you’re already working in a secret office…” he said, pushing aside a heavy looking bookshelf, “why do you need to hide the elevator?”
The two of you walked to where Steve was standing and studied the elevator. The doors were quite old, and there was a keypad next to them. Nat pulled her device out of her pocket again, and held it up the keypad. It determined the passcode, and she pressed the numbers in sequence. The doors slid open. You glanced nervously at Steve, took a deep breath, and stepped into the elevator. It didn’t lurch, or give any indication of collapsing, so you relaxed, and the others got on with you. There was only one button. You pressed it.
When the doors opened again, you were staring into a dark space. It was cold, and seemed to be quite large. Stepping out of the elevator, the lights turned on. There must have been some sort of movement sensor.
At the opposite end of the room sat several large computer monitors, and behind that, an endless sea of databanks. You looked to Natasha, and saw her shaking her head.
“This can’t be the data-point, this technology is ancient…” she confirmed your thoughts, but as she moved closer, she noticed a USB port. Even you could tell how out of place it seemed. She placed the USB into the port, and then there was a cacophany of whirring, as the databanks began to roll, and the old computer flashed to life.
The words Initiate System? blinked on the screen. You and Steve were both well and truly out of your depth, so you deferred to Nat. This was one of her specialties after all.
“Y-E-S, spells yes,” Nat smiled as she typed. You could tell despite everything, she was genuinely enjoying having a puzzle to solve. Her level of intelligence was unrivaled by most. “Shall we play a game?” Nat laughed as she waited for the computer to process her input. “It’s from a movie that…”
“Yeah, we saw it,” Steve remarked dryly.
Before that conversation could progress any further, a familiar voice rang out, reverberating around the cavernous room. You recognised it immediately. It was just one of the voices that haunted you in your nightmares.
“It’s some kind of a recording,” Nat breathed, impressed by the technology, as a small camera focused on each of you, one at a time.
I am not a recording, Fräulein. I may not be the man I was when the Captain took me prisoner in 1945, but I am. The screen flashed an image, and your fear was confirmed. You were being addressed by Dr. Arnim Zola. The man who stole your husband from you. Your fists balled at your sides.
“Do you know this thing?” Nat asked, looking between the two of you. This time it was your turn to offer no answer, as you continued to stare at the face on the screen, now not a photograph but a digital face. The camera seemed to pause on you and observe you longer than the others. You hated that you couldn’t feel him. He was there, but he was just a machine. He had no emotions.
“Arnim Zola was a German scientist who worked for the Red Skull. He’s been dead for years,” Steve explained for Nat’s sake. He was confused, but you barely noticed.
First correction, I am Swiss. Second, look around you. I have never been more alive. In 1972 I received a terminal diagnosis. Science could not save my body, my mind, however, that was worth saving on two hundred thousand feet of data banks. You are standing in my brain.
“How did you get here?” Steve asked angrily.
You began to feel sick.
“It was Operation Paperclip after World War II,” Nat elaborated. “SHIELD recruited German scientists with strategic values.”
Zola continued. They thought I could help their cause. I also helped my own.
The camera observed as you swayed, light headed.
“HYDRA died with the Red Skull,” Steve spoke with conviction.
Cut off one head, two more shall take its place.
A flurry of images appeared on the screen. Zola told his story. But you couldn’t concentrate. It felt like you were underwater. Everything was fuzzy, voices were far away, and you couldn’t breathe.
Zola was the only member of Hydra that had been captured by the American military that didn’t immediately pop a cyanide capsule. He had entered custody without a fuss, and from what you had been told, he was mostly cooperative.
The intel about him being on the train had been so easy for you to procure. The train route so readily available. Steve had told you that there were Hydra agents on board that attacked Bucky and himself, but less than he thought there would have been.
Zola wanted to get captured. He wanted to be taken into custody, and prove his worth. He wanted SHIELD to need him. To rely on him. A parasite from within could do much more damage than someone on the outside ever could. He made sure Hydra would survive, undetectable until it was too late.
Bucky had died. He died trying to protect America. The world. He died. For this?
Once the purification process is complete, HYDRA’s new world order will arise. We won, Captain, Barnes. Your deaths amount to the same as your lives; a zero sum.
You walked up to the monitor that was displaying Zola’s face, and before anyone could reach out to stop you, you punched it with all your might. You showed no indication that your bleeding knuckles caused you any pain.
“(Y/N),” Steve said softly, walking up behind you.
As I was saying… Zola interrupted, face popping up on one of the smaller screens. What’s on this drive? Project Insight requires insight. So I wrote an algorithm.
“What kind of algorithm? What does it do?” Nat asked, watching Steve pull you away from the monitor gingerly. She was enjoying the puzzle a lot less now.
The answer to your question is fascinating. Unfortunately, you shall be too dead to hear it.
The doors that you had entered the room from, the only doors that you were aware of, began to close. Steve turned from you, and threw his shield at them in order to avoid being trapped, but it was too late.
“Steve, we’ve got a bogey. ETA 30 seconds,” Nat said with carefully constructed calm.
“Who sent it?” Steve asked.
Admit it, it’s better this way. We’re all three of us…out of time.
Steve looked around desperately, and found a grate in the floor. He let go of your hand, and pried the cover off. Nat jumped in. You were torn between finding protection and just accepting what was coming, when Steve pulled you in with him, covering the three of you with his shield.
There was a loud explosion, and the building began to collapse. You were buffeted by concrete and debri, and the resulting fire made it difficult to breath. In order to protect you and Nat, Steve was slightly exposed. You hoped desperately that his Super Soldier Serum would help him. You closed your eyes.
When you next opened them, you were in a car. You were dazed, but you knew that it wasn’t the one that you had driven to New Jersey in. Something was wrapped around your hand tightly, and your ribs ached. Your ears were ringing, but soon you were able to make out two voices. Steve and Nat. They were alive.
“We should go to Stark. He’s closer,” Steve argued.
“We can’t Steve, you know that,” Nat countered. “They’ll expect that. Hell, they might’ve already visited him looking for us. I don’t know if we have anywhere we can go!”
“Sam Wilson…” you piped up. Your throat was dry and sore. Smoke inhalation.
“(Y/N), thank God,” Steve sighed in relief. You felt him calm ever so slightly in knowing that you were awake. You felt the same from Nat.
“Sam Wilson?” She asked.
“We were talking to him a while ago, when you picked us up for the Lumerian Star mission,” you continued, sitting up and clicking your seat belt on. You winced when the belt brushed across your ribs.
“How will we find him?” Nat pondered.
“The old fashioned way,” Steve replied.
A long drive, and a flick through the Washington phone book later, you found him. Steve parked the car a block away, so it wouldn’t cause any problems, and you all walked, injured and exhausted, the rest of the way.
Just as you had hoped, he had taken you into his home without hesitation. “Not everyone,” he had said when Nat told him everyone you knew was trying to kill you.
Nat showered first, while you waited with Steve.
“(Y/N),” he hesitantly began. “What happened back there?”
You thought for a moment, before deciding against telling him about your realisation.
“I didn’t like what he was saying,” you lied. It would be better if he didn’t know. He already had too much to carry on his shoulders. He didn’t need to know.
“Are you sure that’s it? You don’t normally react that way… unless something really upsets you.”
“I’m sorry I lost control…”
“Don’t apologise. I was about two seconds away from doing the same. But brash reactions are not something you’re generally known for… you hurt your hand.”
“It’s fine Steve. I’ll clean it thoroughly in the shower, and bandage it afterwards. It’ll be fine.”
Nat walked back into the room from the bathroom, and sat on the bed next to you, drying her hair.
“You go (Y/N). I’ll go after you,” Steve offered.
“Are you sure?”
He nodded, and you accepted his offer gratefully. You needed to be alone for a little while, to process everything that you had learned that day.
You cried in the shower. When you got out, you dried off, and wrapped your hand. The gash on your ribs would need attention too, but it was too difficult for you to manage alone.
You forced yourself to focus on something, anything, else. Luckily the awkward energy that you had felt surrounding Steve and Nat would provide a nice distraction for you. You had to force yourself to be OK, for Steve.
You took a deep breath, braced yourself, and rejoined Steve and Nat. Steve went to take his shower, and Nat went to find a drink in Sam’s kitchen. Alone again, you concentrated on Steve. And waited for him to come back into the room.