dry-hump!!

anonymous asked:

I had to tell a couple in the parking lot to stop dry humping each other on the hood of their car. They told me to stop kink shaming them. I ended up calling the cops because they wouldn't stop or leave. I'm not paid enough to do this fucking job...

OUAT Episode Recap by Someone Not Watching the Show

I decided to do this–recap the show based on what I learn from flailing on tumblr and the gifsets I see–as a fun, light-hearted thing, nothing more. I will probably eventually watch, and I’m curious to see how much I can infer just from being a spectator. Please keep in mind this is just supposed to be a bit of silly fun and is in no way intended to cause any harm, eye-rolling or harm from eye-rolling.

Without further ado, everything that happened this episode, based on gifs and opinions!


The Savior 6x01

1. Iffy timelines continue to be a thing! And there was a horse?

Keep reading

coming at you with some scorbus bed-sharing headcanons that no one asked for: 

  • it started out occasional and accidental — you know, staying up late in albus’s bed, late-night conversations turning into falling asleep on top of the covers because getting to know each other was just too exciting to press pause for the night
  • but then after what happened fourth year, it becomes a bit more purposeful, scorpius jokingly-but-not-really complaining that he’s too lazy to get up and go to his own bed, so can’t he just sleep there?
  • because listen, scorpius likes waking up to albus and knowing he’s still in a world where he exists because yeah, everything’s fine now, he’s malfoy the unanxious, but that was a pretty scary time, okay?
  • and then there it is: just two best friends platonically spending the night together in albus’s bed
  • scorpius loves cuddling before they fall asleep on the rare occasion that albus will let him, but no matter what, what do you know, scorpius wakes up wearing albus anyway
  • it’s cute, it’s chill, all of slytherin thinks they’re messing around long before the notion that this platonic bed-sharing thing is Weird even crosses albus and scorpius’s minds 
  • and then slowly, things start to shift. it’s nothing that crosses a line, just the type of stuff they can pretend they’re asleep for: breath on faces and cheeks in necks and hands accidentally brushing skin under hems of pajamas and knees wedging between thighs disguised as shifting in their sleep 
  • and then one night, everything feels a bit More and a bit Unbearable and there’s really no ignoring the fact that they’re both awake and aware and they hover in front of each other’s faces in the dark for a solid ten minutes and are shaking slightly enough that when they clumsily bump lips in the dark, they can’t help but whisper to ask if it’s okay
  • but of cOURSE it’s okay, it’s them, and they’re suddenly both deadass aware that they’ve both been playing this dumb game for a month, dancing around pretending to be asleep just to be able to accidentally-on-purpose wind up pressed together, and there’s a bit of laughing but mostly a crashing of Pent Up Feeling instead and albus wastes no time rolling over him and getting down to all the messy kissing they should’ve been doing a month ago 
  • also i would be amiss not to mention that there’s probably a bit of uninhibited teenage dry humping and by ‘probably’ and ‘a bit,’ i mean ‘definitely’ and ‘a lot’
  • the end