drunken nights

What if everyone in Gotham knows that Bruce Wayne has one biological child…

But none of them knows who is?

See, each of his five children acts and looks so much like Bruce that they can’t figure out which one it is. Most swear it’s Cass. She’s the one whose origin they know the least about, plus she acts the most like their father, so the majority of the population assume it’s Cass. Others think it’s Tim, since no billionaire would give his very important company to his kid unless he were his actual child. But a lot of people also suspect that Jason is the product of one drunken night between Bruce Wayne and some random woman who died and left him Jason to take care of, which would explain why Bruce adopted some random street rat without warning. Though questions often circulate about whether Dick Grayson was actually the son of a pair of acrobats, or if it was all a ploy to hide his true origin, which was a scandalous love affair that occurred between Bruce Wayne and Marie Grayson during a trip to see the circus.

Nobody suspects Damian, though. The Bruce Wayne that Gotham knows and loves is a rich playboy who likes picking up ladies and going to fancy parties. Damian Wayne is too grumpy and angry to possibly be the biological son of that guy, right?

An incomplete list of the different answers Andrew has given reporters when they have asked why he and his ex-teammate turned rival Neil wear matching armbands:

  • “Kevin’s marking his new exclusive court team with the armbands. So far we’re the only ones picked.”
  • “It only took a few months of knowing him to know he was going to be my mortal enemy, so I marked him with the armbands so everyone would know.”
  • “Neil Josten is a copycat piece of shit with no sense of personal style.”
  • “We’ve been together since university. We secretly live together. We own cats. It’s disgusting.”
  • “The armbands are how Wymack marked the worst troublemakers on his team. Neil was so awful no one managed to rank after him.”
  • “Neil lost a bet and has to wear those armbands for ten years.”
  • “They’re to hide our matching sleeve tattoos from a drunken night his freshman year.”
  • “I forgot about his birthday and had an extra pair lying around so I used them as a shitty present. He’s been wearing them for years. Pathetic.”
  • “What armbands? I have never seen him wear armbands.”
  • “Wymack marked his best players with them. What a shame his own son didn’t earn any. Kevin cried the day Neil got his.”
  • “Which one’s Neil again? Is he that really tall dealer? No? Then who am I thinking of?”
  • “Nicky gave us the same gifts every year because apparently ‘we are impossible to shop for’.”
  • “Wymack marked the players that smoke with armbands ‘as black as our lungs are going to turn’ to try to shame us into quitting.”
  • “They used to be friendship bracelets, but now they mark my burning hatred for him.”
  • “Neil Josten changes his appearance so suddenly and extremely, we had to mark him so we would recognize him when he showed up to practice. I guess he got used to wearing them.”
  • “Neil’s so pale if his arms see direct sunlight, he gets third degree burns. No one knows why. It’s just his arms. Doctors are stumped.”
  • “He stole them from me years ago and wears them at all times to taunt me. And so that I can’t steal them back.”
  • “He hides knives in them. He’s a real danger to himself and everyone around him. I can’t believe no one’s stopped him yet.”

No one fully believes any of the answers and they’re all taken as sarcastic.

real talk people want so badly to believe that jopseh just has internalized homophobia and that hes only staying with his wife to hide his sexuality when there are multiple people aware that he’s bisexual (robert, mary, and probably more).

joseph lied to you when he got you to sleep with him on his yacht. he told you that he and mary were through which we know wasnt the case because mary was suspicious of you hanging out with her husband when you walk her home from the bar on josephs route. the entire route, he is manipulating your character into believing that he and his wife have issues for just the reason of them not working well together when in reality she’s developed depression and resorted to alcoholism because he is consistently cheating on her with other people. we don’t even know if its exclusively men.

we just know that he’s been doing this for a long time; pampering people and treating them special so he can get into bed with them once and never talk to them again. he tries to make it seem like robert sleeps around like its no big deal all the time and while you do have the option to sleep with robert on the first night, he makes sure you’re okay with it and if you do he doesnt contact you, again. why? because he doesnt like drunken one-night-stands. he was expecting for you to show some kind of interest in sticking around with him when he told you to leave but we didn’t get any dialogue options for it so he just assumes that you were there just for the one-nighter.

and this probably have something to do with joseph cheating on his wife with robert after pampering him and treating him with way too much kindness. hell, he even let robert wear the blue sweater that joseph always has around his neck, that was the sweater referenced in the old picture with all the dads. joseph was manipulating robert, making it seem like it wasnt his fault that his relationship with his wife was bad. and then? he takes him to his yacht and fucks him under the guise that him and his wife are through.

thats why robert, after you do two dates with him, shows up at the beginning of josephs third date to try and warn you. he doesnt want you to get hurt like he has, but robert definitely has some trouble being verbal and explaining what he means and lets his anger get the best of him. they want you to think the marriage troubles are all mary’s fault until you start getting to know mary through the other routes. shes a good woman who has never once outright cheated on joseph. she flirts and drinks to cope with his infidelity.

the way joseph acts from the getgo is some pretty shady behavior so i personally wasnt really surprised to find out how much of a dick he really is. what surprised me is that the writers wrote a very real kind of person into this ‘lighthearted’ dating simulator. josephs abusive and manipulative behavior is an incredibly real thing that happens every day, this game is trying to show you how to identify it before it gets too far or you do something you regret.

theyre not saying ‘gay/bisexual men are unfaithful!’ or ‘christians are going to hurt and abuse you!’ theyre saying ‘some people actually do this and theyre abusive as hell if youre in this situation or feel someone might be trying to do this to you, get out’

mary doesnt leave him for reasons that were never written into the story. probably because she doesnt want to put her kids through a divorce so early in their lives.

basically joseph being an abusive and manipulative partner has nothing to do with his sexuality or religion. he’s just written to be an absolute cock.

Seokjin is secretly lacing fingers under the table, he is sweet dreams filled with unbroken wishes, he is starry nights that hold too many adventures to be told. He is small kisses under the pouring rain that are just a little too perfect. He’s nights laced with pillow talk that turn into pillow fights and it couldn’t be better than that.

Yoongi is caffeine dreams and unspoken poems, he is winter nights and windy trees, but that’s your favorite. He is lost romance and affection tracing against skin, he’s crystal snowflakes falling on eyelashes, waiting to be kissed away. He’s piano keys that aren’t just black and white, vibrant colors flowing through his veins as another masterpiece is made. He is love left unsaid and whispers that only he could hear.

Hoseok is deep rosy hues that sunsets wish to achieve, he’s rays of sunshine that end up shining brighter than anything in this world. He’s pure happiness that somehow ends up with lighting bolts tearing through the sky. He’s sun kissed flowers sitting next to cracked open windows during summer mornings, smiles and giggles filling up the room. He’s 10 am silent walks that end up turning into 2 pm naps because 10 am is just too early. Hoseok is pretty lights that do more than illuminate tiny rooms.

Namjoon is falling autumn leaves and cozy winter nights, who says you can’t have both? He’s tiny memories that can fill out a whole stadium, every moment pieced with a special gift. He’s flaws and shaky smiles, lip bites and nervous rambling, the perfect combination. He’s sweet kisses and muffled words laced with sheer beauty and eloquence. He’s words that somehow turn into silk, written so smoothly against the canvas that it’s impossible to get paper cuts. He’s paintings that are mixed with every color, but it still isn’t vibrant enough. He’s private thoughts that you wish you had the privilege of knowing, each one unlocking a new secret. Namjoon is comfort, he’s warmer than hot chocolate on a winter day, he’s sweet smiles and unbroken promises.

Jimin is bubbles and blue, he’s 3 am smiles and pretty thoughts. He’s spring days and drunken nights, he’s home and nostalgia, and you figured you need a bit of both. He’s a “look at the pretty stars” and “I swear I can see the milky way,” even though his smile caused enough brightness to not see anything. Jimin is soft touches and lavender candles, he’s fallen cherry blossoms that you can’t help but admire and fawn over. He’s sleepless conversations and bedroom eyes, he’s flecks of gold and paper hearts, and you don’t know which one is more beautiful.

Taehyung is hot summer hazes and rose tattoos, he is fulfilled goals and full cups of water. He is summer loves that never seem to be temporary, he’s hidden smiles and subtle signs that were only made for the two of you. He’s cold mornings wrapped in warm sheets and hot nights filled with cold kisses. He’s forehead kisses and sweet r&b riffs, he’s vintage photographs that really is worth a thousand words. Taehyung is cloud nine and love songs, he is boxy smiles and a heart of gold.

Jungkook is shy smiles and hidden gestures. He is cold coffee on a sticky summer night and light kisses that seem to feel more hotter than the weather. He is shaky hands and awkward laughs, bright eyes and curiosity laced all into one. He is playing video games until sunrise and sleeping until sunset, which is his favorite trait. He is loving too much and caring too little, he is 4 am adventures to the convenience store. He is blurry daydreaming and falling asleep in class. Jungkook is scrunched noses and head tilts, he’s beauty and too many pretty piercings.

I want to say I can’t go on without you, but that isn’t true.

I have gone on without you. We have gone weeks and months without talking and I have found myself happy during that time. I thought of you and I missed you, but I also had happiness.

But the thing is I don’t want to go on without you. Even though I know that I am able, and able to happily live a life where you only live in my memories, I don’t want to.

I don’t need you. I want you, and us and our late night talks which stem from fights and end in jokes. I want you to try to make me laugh when I’m so angry all I can see is red. I want to hate you for doing it, for not taking me seriously even when I know that it’s your way to cheer me up and show me you love me. I want the part of us that is so intertwined and impassioned in each other that we can go days without needing another human soul.

You see, I have had life without you, and I know what it entails. I have had adventurous solo road trips and hikes where I sit at the bottom of rocky cliffs staring out at the ocean. I have had drunken flings and nights where my girlfriends and I drink wine until we collapse on the couch. I have laughed without you. I have loved without you. I have had passion with other and I have had heartbreak with others. So believe me when I say that I do not need you, I can do this on my own or with someone else, but you are still a unique and wonderful presence in my life and I want you.

—  Excerpt of a book I’ll never write #187
Just let me sleep

For @goldentruth813 for being such a joy on my dash


“Where’s Harry?” Ronald Weasley asked in the hallway. Draco tensed and made sure again that the door of his eight year dorm was tightly locked. It wasn’t that he opposed to people finding Harry in Draco’s bed after a particularly wild christmas party, but he wasn’t sure Harry would appreciate it much.

“Oh, I think he had a little bit too much fun last night.” That voice Draco recognised as well, it belonged to Ginny Weasley.

“What do you mean by that?” Ron asked. Draco crossed his fingers and hoped that Ginny just meant Harry’s drunken state from the night before. He didn’t want to break whatever it was that they had built up over the past months by exposing it too soon. 

“He’s away with the fairy, that’s what she means.” Seamus Finnigan explained as he joined the party outside in the hall. Out of the blue there was a loud thump on the other side of Draco’s bed and a sudden loss of warmth.

“Draco Malfoy is not a fairy!” Harry yelled sleep-drunk at his friends outside, after undoing Draco’s powerful locking charm with a single wandless spell. The Pakistani man had rolled out of bed still naked and was only shielding himself from his friends with the duvet he had stolen on his way to the bedroom door.

“Potter!” Draco yelled, suddenly not caring anymore about people finding out about them now that Harry appeared to be fine with it. “Stop defending my dignity and get back with the duvet! I’m freezing my tits off here!”

There was a bout of laughter audible from the hallway as Draco’s words reached the others.

“Oh fuck off, all of you.” Harry called out as he glared at his friends. “If anyone disturbs me again tonight I’ll hex their buttocks off!”

And with that threat hanging in the air Harry slammed the door shut and made his way back to Draco’s bed, where he promptly fell down on top of Draco. Immediately the freezing-off danger for his tits was decreased by a tenfold.

“You do realise it’s morning, don’t you Harry?” Draco asked with a bemused smile as Harry attempted to shove his head into the crook of Draco’s neck.

“When I said anyone, I was including you.” Harry lifted his head up to glare at him. “Shut up.”

“Not much of a morning person?”

“You’re not going to be a person anymore if you keep talking, asshole.” Harry replied before collapsing on Draco again. But the blonde was only capable of following Harry’s advice for so long, because he had a burning question and due to his lover being so close to him he now also had poor impulse control.

“Why are you so against Finnigan calling me fairy?”

“Because it makes it sound like you’re fragile, which you’re not. I only feel comfortable letting everything out when I’m with you, because you’re strong and I know you can handle everything I throw at you.” Harry pushed himself up on his elbows, which leaned on Draco’s chest where they would surely leave a mark. “Also, fairies are cute and lovable, while you’re an asshole who keeps waking me up at ungodly hours.”

Harry collapsed on Draco again with a groan. Draco chuckled and pulled the man closer to his chest. “Thanks Harry.”

“Shut up Malfoy.”

B99 + Apartment AU: in which Jake, Charles, Rosa, and Amy live together while attending the police academy.

  • They technically see each other every day at training, but they all still try to hang out together once a week. (Usually movie nights, occasionally game nights, sometimes with alcohol, always in pajamas.) 
  • Charles offers to make dinner for all of them some time during their first week together. – He makes a dish involving bull testicles and is never allowed to cook for them again. (He’s still allowed to make hot cocoa though, which Jake asks for every time he comes home with a bruise.) 
  • Amy dies a little on the inside every morning Jake sleepily pads into the kitchen, hair still messed up from sleep and voice still a bit hoarse. 
  • The smoke alarm goes off almost every time Amy attempts to cook something. 
  • The number of times Amy has thought about just walking over to Jake’s room and kissing him senseless is  r i d i c u l o u s.
  • Rosa has at least three extra locks on her door, and none of the others have seen the inside of her room. (After catching Gina sneak out of there the morning after their graduation, Jake bribes her into telling him exactly how it looks like.) 
  • Jake somehow manages to leave various articles of clothing everywhere, and this annoys Amy to no end. (Partly because each rumpled shirt just makes her think about what it would feel like to tear his clothes off herself.)
  • Amy puts a calendar on their fridge and implements a cleaning schedule, with the chores all divvied up between the four of them. Jake complains very loudly about this at first but later has a ton of fun dancing around their living room while vacuuming and scream-singing Taylor Swift songs.
  • Charles regularly helps Rosa with her texting game. (Amy tries to contribute at some point, but her offer to proofread messages is quickly shot down.) 
  • From her room, Amy hears the door slamming closed followed by the sound of muffled voices and giggling. She peaks her head out a bit, and her stomach lurches when she catches a blur of bodies making their way toward Jake’s room. She crashes at Kylie’s that night because the walls in their apartment are thin, and she doesn’t want to hear a thing. (It’s a drunken one night stand that doesn’t come to anything because the girl’s apparently in law school studying to be a defense attorney.) 
  • Charles and Rosa do yoga together on Sunday mornings. They try to get Jake and Amy into it, but Jake just makes a joke out of everything, and Amy becomes weirdly competitive about it. 
  • Jake once woke everyone up at an ungodly hour because he had been watching a nature documentary and yelling over the grossness of live births. He since then has been banned from watching nature documentaries past midnight. 
  • Every so often (more and more frequently as time passes), Jake and Amy find themselves sitting on the floor of their living room way past 2 am, just talking and laughing. (Charles and Rosa can hear them from their rooms, but neither of them say anything about it.)  
  • Through the wall between their rooms, Rosa can hear Amy creepily singing songs before each big test/evaluation at the academy. The third time this happens, Rosa knocks on Amy’s door and stays with her until she’s calmed down. (”You’ll do great. Stop stressing, dum-dum.”)
  • Jake runs out of shampoo and doesn’t want to dig through Charles’ erotic shampooing kit, so he sneaks into the girls’ bathroom and steals a bit from the first bottle he sees. (Turns out it’s Amy’s, and it drives him nuts that he smells like her the whole day. Amy somehow doesn’t notice, but Rosa threatens to castrate him if he ever enters their bathroom again.) 
  • Charles likes to blast show tunes while doing chores or cooking large meals (or doing anything, really). They’ve all had front row seats to his renditions of choice songs from Oliver, Annie, and Cats. 
  • Amy’s usually pretty neat, so Rosa is shocked to enter her room to find nuts all over the floor… and on her shirt, and in her hair, and somehow on her bed a few feet away. (”Jake said I couldn’t catch any of these with my mouth, so I’m just-” “Don’t care. Call me if you grab each other’s asses.”) 
  • Jake’s been thinking of asking Amy out for ages, but he’s too afraid of the potential fallout. Both Charles and Rosa try to talk him into doing something about his feelings.
  • Amy once catches Jake coming out of the shower with just a towel wrapped around his waist. Needless to say, all work was forgotten that evening, and she had to take a long shower herself. 
  • It’s during one of their 3 am heart-to-heart convos that Jake and Amy finally kiss, and they don’t end up sleeping until the sun starts to rise. When Amy comes out of Jake’s room close to lunch time (donning one of his checkered shirts, because her pajama top is nowhere to be found), she finds a spread of various aphrodisiacs (courtesy of Charles) and a box of condoms (courtesy of Rosa) on their dining table. 

Shout out to @peraltiagoisland, @elsaclack, @dogworldchampion, @stardustsantiago, and @tiadorable for letting me yell about this AU and helping me come up with these headcanons!!!!!!!!

It’s time for a continuation of the post where Andrew keeps giving reporters different conflicting answers to their questions about why he and his ex-teammate turned rival Neil wear matching armbands.

So, get ready for Neil’s responses to reporters reading Andrew’s latest responses plus Andrew and Neil getting asked about them together after their teams play each other.

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The Secrets Trilogy: Secrets Tested

Description: Boundaries are discovered between work and play.

Genre: Smut (18+)

Word Count: 11.7k

Warnings: Heavy dom/sub themes, rough spanking (like woah), light breathplay, masturbation, degrading names, exhibitionism

Index: Our Little Secret, Secrets Tested, Secrets Revealed <– coming soon.

A/N: Here it is~ Part two of the Secrets Trilogy. A trilogy that wasn’t supposed to exist but here we are. :I As per the warnings - DO NOT READ if you are offended or triggered by rough sex. Everything in this is 100% consensual so if anyone sends an ask filled with accusations and name calling, your ass will be blocked immediately. 

Pleasant reading~ 

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Milkshakes

Originally posted by ihclipse

Two requests in one. This is hot. Please enjoy, and try to keep yourself calm ;) Love you all. xx - L

You and Harry are friends with benefits.

Warnings: smut, smut, and smut

Word Count: 2,125

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Then and Now

hey here’s some @dilfosaur 2demons AU because I love that shit

—–

“Can I ask you kind of a weird favor?”

Hanzo shrugs one shoulder, his gaze kept on the tiny bonfire between himself and McCree. “I suspect that you will ask me regardless of what I say,” he responds. Which is true–something he has learned about McCree in the past six weeks is that McCree is a very forthright person, when the situation allows for it.

McCree does not take offense, though, instead chuckling as he swigs deeply from a steel flask. He offers the flask to Hanzo, and Hanzo takes it gratefully. Alcohol has simply not been the same since his change 10 years ago, but McCree somehow always has a full supply of a whiskey so potent that even demons can enjoy drunkenness. On some nights, that becomes close to a necessity. 

He drinks, and McCree regards him for a moment. Then he asks, “Can you show me what you look like? What you really look like, as a human.”

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