drunken lady

Cousin Matt- the real story

I have a theory. My theory is that cousin Matt is the bastard child of Jared Padalecki and some drunken lady at a bar in Britain. Jared was obviously visiting his fans there and made a baby with said drunken lady. Said drunken lady then put the baby up for adoption because she didn’t want to cause any trouble. A nice family adopted the baby boy and named him Matt. Therefore we now have cousin Matt: Jared Padalecki’s said “twin” who is actually Jared Padalecki’s son. BAM.

The secret [to success] is… are you capable of understanding what went wrong and why it went wrong. That’s the real key.
—  Some drunk asshole youtuber called Markiplier
Master List- 2nd Edition

A/N: I redid my Master List because when I changed my url it messed it up so here you go! Let me know if one of them doesn’t work and I’ll try to fix it.

5 Seconds of Summer



Your Hand in Marriage -4/4

That’s Not Me-2/4


  • Ashton Irwin 

You’re Not Fine  (Part 2)

Our Little Miracle 

Bizarre Happenings

Right in Front of Me (Part 2)

My Saving Grace

I’ve Got You 

  • Calum Hood

Right in Front of Me (Part 2)

Tears of Regret 

Forever May Only Be For a Little While

  • Luke Hemmings

Mistakes and Misunderstandings (Part 2)

  • Michael Clifford

I Can’t Lose Him Too


The Hardships of Love

Unpredictable Promises Part Two

One Direction 


He yells at your child for something he/she did wrong 5/5

How He Proposes 5/5


  • Harry Styles

Leave Me Alone

Forgiveness (Part 2) (Part 3)

Drunken Incidents 

The Other Lady    Part 2

No More Tears with Some Pinky Promises

Styles are Full of Surprises 

Hi, There Sweetheart

Mum’s Approval 

  • Liam Payne

None Available

  • Louis Tomlinson

None Available

  • Niall Horan 

Song Writing

A Dull Night || somesortofalien

If there was ever a dull night in old London town, this was it.

To be fair, it wasn’t exactly a dull night. The pub downstairs at the Mariner’s Inn was packed with drunken sailors, their pretty ladies and various forms of ne’er-do-wells, and there was a haze of cigarette smoke, stale booze and just a hint of opiates. However, this was typical of the seedy dockside Inn, and it was completely plausible to call a night without any drunken brawls, shootouts, or passed out blokes with their trousers down a dull night.

But, unsure of how many nights she had left, dull or not, Brona Croft was determined to have herself an interesting night.

And of course, that would start with making a bit of money.

It wasn’t vanity that led her to knowing she was the prettiest whore in the bar, it was simple fact. Her lungs might be giving out but her face was clear and bright as ever– Unlike some others.

Which is how she knew, when she saw the skinny bloke in the clean pinstriped suit looking woefully out of place at the bar that she would be his first choice.

Coughing quickly into her handkerchief– This smokey air did nothing for her already-diseased lungs, she straightened her dress and her hair.

It was time to go to work.

All confidence and whipping skirts, Brona sauntered right up to the bloke, entranced momentarily by his handsome face and frankly great hair. They didn’t get many handsome blokes around this place, and she was determined to make the most of it.

“’Lo there, mate,” She grinned, “Have t’say, ya look a bit lonely. Luckily for you, I’m free tonight. Mind ‘f I sit?”