drunken god

Okay, but guys, Victor had those pictures of Yuri lying around on his phone for like a year. A year. Long before he and Yuri even developed the close relationship that they have right now. So please just take a moment to picture:

  • Victor getting bored or frustrated or upset and going back to those pictures because they always bring a smile to his face 
  • Victor rewatching the videos of drunken Yuri on a regular basis because he finds that he quite likes the sound of his voice, however slurred and nonsensical
  • Victor lurking on Yuri’s social media (!!!)  
  • Victor googling Yuri 
  • Victor memorizing and recording Yuri’s stats and knowing a shit ton of random fucking facts about his life before he even meets him 
  • Victor being a Yuri fanboy in general  
  • Victor very slowly realizing he’s completely fucking smitten by this man he danced with and grinded on while in a hazy drunken stupor  
  • And god damn it, he absolutely HAS to see him again  
  • Victor seeing the video of Yuri doing his routine and his heart beats clean out of his chest because that’s it–that’s fuckin it, his chance
  • And he takes it 
  • It’s the best decision he’s ever made 

@thelunarelixir​ some post-viktuuri wedding drunkenness, god bless

send a prompt 

The secret [to success] is… are you capable of understanding what went wrong and why it went wrong. That’s the real key.
—  Some drunk asshole youtuber called Markiplier
How to deal with Ah Puch from an Ah Puch Main

(jk I don’t main him, he’s only my first Diamond)

As much as I enjoy the memes, I hate seeing people suffer. And I still can’t find the willpower to finish my Drunken Gods fan-fiction, so I’ve wrote this instead: Top-Tips for dealing with having an Ah Puch on the enemy team, from an Ah Puch main.

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I just noticed that like, naming your neopet is like being one of those Suburban Moms who try to name their kid something ‘Unique’ so you end up with names that make no fucking sense pronunciation wise, but they always insist it’s something simple like ‘Karen’ or ‘Emily’, even though it looks like something spat forth from an Elder God’s drunken ramblings.

Signs as Greek gods
  • Aries: Zeus - the god of lightning
  • Taurus: Dionysus - god of wine, parties, and drunkenness
  • Gemini: Hermes - god of travel, communication, trade, language, and writing
  • Cancer: Hestia - goddess of the hearth, home, and chastity
  • Leo: Aphrodite - the goddess of love, beauty, and desire
  • Virgo: Demeter - goddess of the harvest, growth, and agriculture
  • Libra: Apollo - god of music, arts, and healing
  • Scorpio: Hades - god of the underworld
  • Sagittarius: Artemis- the goddess of the hunt and wilderness
  • Capricorn: Athena - the goddess of intelligence, strategy, wisdom, and peace
  • Aquarius: Hera - goddess of marriage, women, heirs, and empires
  • Pisces: Poseidon - the god of the sea
Sun-kissed lord,
my chest tightens
beneath Your beauty.
The rusted tips of
Your arrows rattle
between my ribs,
every breath a
constant reminder
of Your divine touch.
Through sickness I
am hallowed:
each cough a prayer,
each stab of pain
Your bolts lodging
deeper through my
flesh. Agony is
my devotion, and
I am a hunt,
bloody and limping,
wailing Your name
from a burnt throat.

Apollo of Sickness and Plague: for @suenoteamor  (@antlering)

yo bro i finally finished the drunken poem for your God-bro

If we could conserve the energy we lavish in that series of dreams we nightly leave behind us, the mind’s depth and subtlety would reach unimaginable proportions. The scaffolding of a nightmare requires a nervous expenditure more exhausting than the best articulated theoretical construction. How, after waking begin again the task of aligning ideas when, in our unconscious, we were mixed up with grotesque and marvelous spectacles, we were sailing among the spheres without the shackles of anti-poetic Causality? For hours we were like drunken gods – and suddenly, our open eyes erasing night’s infinity, we must resume, in day’s mediocrity, the enterprise of insipid problems, without any of the night’s hallucinations to help us. The glorious and deadly fantasy was all for nothing then; sleep has exhausted us in vain. Waking, another kind of weariness awaits us; after having had just enough time to forget the night’s, we are at grips with the dawn’s. We have labored hours and hours in horizontal immobility without our brain’s deriving the least advantage of its absurd activity. 

After each night we are emptier: our mysteries and our griefs have leaked away into our dreams. Thus sleep’s labor not only diminishes the power of our thought, but even that of our secrets…

—  Emil Cioran, A Short History of Decay, “Overworked by Dreams,” page 54.

Moe: Kling, for obvious reasons. 

Syd: For sure Kling…sometimes it’s hard to keep up with that lil’ rascal. 

Ash: Definitely Kling.

Kling: You all suck. What about Press and JJ? You give them one shot of tequila and let me tell you, they ain’t no cinnamon rolls!

JJ: Sinnamon rolls to you, shortie. 

Press: Fine, so what if I’m a lightweight? At least I’m easy to contain. I would just like to point out that we’ve lost my fellow Stannie almost every time we’ve all gone out together. Remember when we couldn’t find her for 5 hours in Montreal after the Germany game?  

Kelley: Hey! I was in perfectly good hands! 

Pinoe: And by perfectly good hands, you mean drunken Hope. Oh my god, remember how the both of you were tied-


Drunken Love (Derek Hale)

Requested: Yes ;)

“God I cannot believe him!”  I slurred.  I was with my best friend Derek.  Me and stiles had another fight tonight and I just couldn’t take it anymore.  I left and called up Derek and told him that I needed nothing more right now then to get drunk and wash away some anger.  Stiles and I had been fighting more and more about the stupidest stuff and I don’t know what to do anymore.  "Shhh, Y/N don’t talk about him anymore he is not worth your t-time.“  Derek responded.  "But Derek what do I do?”  I practically yelled burying my head into a pillow.  We were sitting on Derek’s bed downing some vodka while his parents were out for the weekend.  

“Personally I think you should dump him.”  He said very bluntly.  I just gave him a glare.  Derek had always been against me and Stiles relationship and I never understood why.  I looked down at my leg when I felt his hand come in contact with me knee.  "C'mon Y/N, You can do so much better.“  He whispered slowly moving his hand up my thigh.  I couldn’t form any words so I just looked back up at him.  When he noticed I was not going to say anything he continued "You deserve someone who will tell you how beautiful you are everyday,  someone who will look at you the with all the love and desire in the world, someone who will make you feel so good with just a simple touch.”  he spoke quietly while slowly moving to be on top of me.  I was now laying on my back and he was hovering over me.  "I-I don’t know.“  I responded unconvincingly.  I couldn’t deny I always found Derek attractive but he has been one of my best friend since we were kids.  I also can’t deny that I haven’t imagined this a million times. He started kissing down my neck and towards my chest.  His mouth reattached back onto my lips and pulled me into a kiss.  I immediately let his his tongue go through my lips and he took over.  It was one of the most passionate kisses I have ever had and much more then I have been getting from Stiles over the last few months.  His hands were roaming all over my body and I sat up when i felt him grab the hem of my shirt get signaling he wanted to pull it off.  I then pulled his v-neck off of him too, our lips only breaking apart briefly.  I lifted up my hips so he could pull down my shorts and I quickly unbuckled his jeans and pulled them down desperate for the contact.  My brain was much to foggy to process that this was probably was not a good idea because I have dreamed about this forever and I was also much to turned on.

Once we were stripped down to our underwear, his lips began to travel all over.  He started rubbing my through my panties and then slide them down before popping off my bra.  he took a mount and just started at my boobs in awe before and pulled his neck back down to my lips while his hand was still moving.  I started bucking my hips up into his hand and i felt him smirk into the kiss.  I pulled his boxers down and took his length into my hand and started to pump faster.  I heard him let out a little growl and it was my turn to smirk.  "Enough of this, I want the real thing.”  He moaned into my ear and I felt myself getting that much wetter.  He swatted my hand away and grabbed my hips and lined up to my entrance.  He looked into my eyes once more to make sure I wanted this and I answered him by kissing him hard on the mouth.  He wasted no time and pounded straight into me.  He was relentless and kept going in and out very fast.  Every time my pussy readjusting to his long, think length.  I let out a string of moans and curse words unable to hold it back.  He took one hand off my hip and started rubbing my clit.  I threw my head back and arched my back at the incredible feeling.  All these different sense engulfing my body as my hands tangled into his hair.  He took one of breasts into his mouth and began sucking an pinching at my nipple with his teeth.  I felt the pit building in my stomach and knew that I could not hold it much longer.  "Derek, I’m c-close"  I stuttered out.  He removed himself from my breasts and said “Cum for me baby”  his raspy voice pushing me over the edge.  I felt my walls clench and i came all around him.  My whole body inviting in ecstasy.  

Not a moment later I felt him cum inside of me and he continued to thrust into me riding both our highs out as long as possible.  Once we were both finished he collapsed beside me we both just laid there breathing heavily.  My body couldn’t handle the feeling colliding with the alcohol still running through my veins so I fell fast asleep right next to him.

The Next Morning  

I felt a raging headache begin to take over my head. I still had my eyes squinted shut as I began to sit up to stretch my arms out when I felt a strong arm around my waist.  My eyes immediately shot open and I practically bolted out of bed.  My sudden movements woke Derek up and within seconds he was up and out of bed too.  I looked at him and saw him completely naked.  It then hit me that I was also completely naked.  As if it hit us both at the same time we both turned around so our backs were facing each other.  "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?!“  I screeched trying to remember what happened last night.  "Well i think we…” He began before I cut him off.  "I KNOW THAT YOU IDIOT, I COULD TELL BY THE LACK OF CLOTHES AND THE FACT THAT WE BOTH REEK OF SEX.“  I yelled.  My mind was racing with a million thoughts.  "How could I do this to Stiles?  I am an awful person.  Oh my god, I fucked up.” My thoughts were cut off when I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked back to see he was handing me a t-shirt with his eyes still shut.  I took it from his hand and it reached to my mid thigh which was enough so I don’t feel as exposed.  He had also put his boxers back on.  "Look Y/N, maybe this was actually… a blessing..“  I looked at his in sheer confusion having no idea what he meant.  "What.”  was all i could manage to get out.  "Y/N, I am in love with you, I have have been and I always will be.  I love the way you laugh at your own stupid jokes, or the way your eyes light up when your talking about something  your passionate about or even how you look when your listing to your favorite song with your eyes closed and your screaming the lyrics at the top of our lungs.  I love every part of you, and I can give you so much more then he ever could.  You are my beautiful best friend who I have loved since the moment I laid eyes on you.  We were meant to be.“  He looked into my eyes and i couldn’t even form a word.  So I grabbed my shoes and my underwear and I left his room without a word leaving him staring at my back as I ran out, leaving us both broken hearted and confused.                 

Music I (1895). Gustav Klimt (Austrian, 1862-1918). Oil on canvas. Neue Pinakothek.

Music I depicts a woman meditatively strumming a lyre in a black dress. The lyre is a traditional symbol of music and this painting is one of several Klimt produced with a musical theme. On the right is a statue of a sphinx and to the far left is a mask of Silenus, the god of drunkenness and wine-making.

Preference #76 Drunk

Requested by: vanessnettness 

Liam- Liam was very talkative when he got drunk. It was completely endearing because everything that came out of his mouth was exactly what he thought and he would not hesitate to compliment how you looked and how much he was happy to have you as his girlfriend. He would chat with his friends about you and slip some inappropriate comments but the way he said them was hilarious, you weren’t even mad. When he thought about what he said, sometimes he would say things like “I should probably have not  said that,” followed by a drunken giggle. God, you were glad he was a cute drunk.

Niall- After a huge promotion at work you asked Niall to take you to the best pub in town and get you drunk as a form of celebration. He ordered three beers for himself and listening to your request, he ordered countless amounts whiskey and martinis. You just really wanted to get drunk. When you felt as confident as Kanye, you went on the karaoke stage and started sing “Drunk In Love.” You saw Niall sitting on his stool holding his stomach from laughing so hard.  He was very proud of you.

Zayn- Your high school best friends came into town after years of not seeing you, so they thought you should all get together and have a reunion to catch up on each other’s lives. Little did you know that one of the nicest people in your Literature class now looked as hot as the sun. Puberty hit him hard and well, you thought, but after a few drinks you decided it was time to approach him and make a move. You were tipsy but still charming in his opinion, but he felt like he had to make sure you made it home alright. Accepting his offer to take you home, he opened your door and laid you down on the couch covering you with a blanket. He was so tired that he fell asleep on your armchair.

Louis- Whenever Louis drank it was either because he was with friends, or because he had an awful day. Since his friends weren’t around you knew something was wrong. “Love, what’s happened? Was it work?” You asked running your hand up and down his back in a soothing motion. He shook his head and staring at his drink he said “El just left me. She said she was tired of going back and forth with me. Can’t say I blame her.” He said taking another sip. You hated seeing him like that so after telling him it wasn’t his fault, you offered to make him his favorite meal. It might not have cheered him up completely but he did realize that you were an exceptional friend.  

Harry- Harry’s friends would often invite him to after parties because they knew how much fun Harry was when he was drunk. You personally thought it was one of the most entertaining things in the world, so this time, bringing you as his date, you knew it would be special. Harry started dancing with anyone he could find and while flailing his limbs in every direction, he would sing along to the song too, unless it was dubstep, in which case he would imitate the bass. When he came around you, he took your hands in his smiling like an idiot and said “Since you’re my date, you should give me kiss,” he said slurring the last few words. How could you say no to his dopy cute face? So that was your first kiss with him.