Summary: After getting wasted,Malia and Lydia make fake Tinder profiles for Liam and Theo.

Originally posted by theoraken

Malia bursted out laughing as Lydia slipped and fell.They were “sneaking” in Scott’s house.Well,actually they made a mess and they were pretty loud.Scott came downstairs with a confused look on his face.

,,What’s going on?“ Scott asked rubbed his eyes

,,We have been blessed!” Malia yelled

,,What?“ Scott asked furrowing his eyebrows

,,Wait…Are you guys drunk?Malia you can’t get drunk,” Scott said

,,I can’t,but I can enjoy watching people who are drunk as fuck,“ Malia looked at Lydia and giggled.

Lydia shoved her phone in Sott’s face.He took the phone right before his jaw dropped harder than his grades after he became a werewolf.

,,Theo and Liam matched on Tinder?They have Tinder profiles?”

,,No…“ Lydia said

Malia and Lydia looked at each other and laughed,making Scott even more confused.

,,Okay,she is wasted so I’ll explain it to you.She is drunk and I’m crazy.That’s all you need to know,” Malia said

,,Malia,please.It’s too early for this,“

,,Okay…So we made fake Tinder profiles for Theo and Liam and…They matched,” Malia said smiling

,,You do know they’ll kill you,right?“

,,I know and we planned on building a house somewhere in mountains so they can’t find us,” Malia said giggling

,,I have to tell them.It’s too funny,“ Scott said

Theo and Liam were driving to Baecon Hills for a surprise.Liam got a text message from Scott about the Tinder profiles.

,,Guess what did Malia and Lydia do?”

,,They made a sextape together!“ Theo quickly said

,,No,you nasty.They made fake Tinder profiles for me and you and we matched,” Liam said smiling

,,Oh,well…That’s so sweet of them but I don’t think we need help from Tinder,“ Theo said

He took Liam’s left hand which was resting on his left lap and kissed it.

@officialyellowlion Here’s some @theofficiallance tea

Okay so remember when all the paladins got drunk when Shiro wasn’t around? Yea? Okay now do you know that one YouTube video of the drunk guy buying a shit ton of apple juice for his kids and grandkids? Yea that was Lance but with space goo. He screamed “MAMA NEEDS SPACE GOO!” over and over again before he tripped and fell, dropping and spilling space goo all over the floor. He proceeded to cry and pick it up with his shirt and jacket while sobbing “my grandkids are gonna hate me”


“Bartender,” Dan calls down the sleek resort bar, “Another, please. Make it a double this time.”

The bartender looks like she’s only just too professional to roll her eyes at him. Instead she nods and sets about making him another drink.

He sighs loudly and asks her, “Do you ever just…drink to forget?”

She makes an attentive listening noise, the same one he’d heard last night when there were a bunch of drunk French guys trying to get her number. Dan sighs again.

“I still hear his voice sometimes,” Dan says distantly, looking out onto the beach, “My boyfriend. We were so close to ten years, y’know. Before he got stolen by a married Olympic diver.”

He directs the last part over his shoulder, where Phil is leaning against Bryony, gone pink with laughter, sun and alcohol.

“Dan,” Phil says, still laughing.

“I can still hear his voice sometime,” Dan says wistfully, and nods his thanks to the bartender who hands him his drink, complete with a tiny pink umbrella. “Oh Dan, I loved you, until Tom Daley and all his abs winked at me.”

“How does an ab wink?” Phil asks, coming closer to wrap a damp arm around Dan’s shoulder.

“I wouldn’t know!” Dan says, perhaps a little shrill, “I don’t have any experience with abs! Or winking!”

“Dan,” Phil says fondly. It’s possible he’s the only person on earth this fond of Dan’s dramatics. “C’mon, come back to swim.”

Dan grumbles but allows himself to be towed away from the bar, muttering that, “Tom Daley could probably buy you more of those.” when Phil plucks the umbrella from his drink and gently places it in his curls.

“Tom Daley’s abs could probably make you tiny drink umbrellas,” Dan tells Phil, sullenly taking sips from his drink.

“Probably so,” Phil says, pressing a kiss to his hair. “Its why we’re getting married as soon as polygamy is legal back home. But I was planning to bring you with me.”

Dan watches Phil suspiciously for a moment, then brightens. “Well, that’s alright. D’you think he can make his abs wink at me next?”


Square Filled- bondage

Rating- Explicit

Tags- Alpha!Sam x Omega!reader, rough smut, bondage (restraint with ropes)

Word Count- 1600ish

A/N: For @spnabobingo​​. Hope you enjoy! XOXO

Fucking finally.
Since your first heat when you were just a teenager, you’ve been looking, searching for him. And now you’ve got him.

Fucking finally.

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off limits | 05 (m)

pairing: kim seokjin x reader
genre/warnings: smut, angst
words: 9,221
summary: you’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

 » 01 :: 02 :: 03 :: 04 :: 05 :: 

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Vampire Bat Boyfriend

I’ve gotten a lot of requests for vampires and a few for a bat monster, so vampire bat is here!

  It’s dark when you get home, then again it always is. You use to think working the late shift would be easy and fun, it’s only you and your coworkers in the store. You didn’t consider that the walk home would be so terrifying. You’ve started keeping your box cutter with you in your bag as well as a can of pepper spray on your keychain. You would ask your coworkers for a ride home, but some of them are gone before you even lock the front door.

  That was before though. Now as you make your way home you hear the familiar flapping above you and as you stop to look up he lands before you. He kneels then stands, towering above you as he kneels down and kisses you.

  “Did you just wake up?” You ask as you wipe the crust from the corners of his eyes, having to stand on tip-toe to reach.

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anonymous asked:

can you please do some laurens x thomas??? it's a severely underrated ship and there's so many possibilities,, like thomas being SUPER possessive / overprotective of john omg i love that

I haven’t seen too much of this ship…LET’S GET TO IT MY LOVLIES! What’s a good ship name? Jomas? Thohn? Lomas? Thaurens? 


Thomas growled under his breath, eyes narrowing dangerously at the man drunkenly flirting with John. James was sipping his drink, looking between Thomas and John, mixed emotions going over his face. 

“You know,” James spoke up, “You could always just, go over there?”

Thomas downed the rest of his beer, making James jump at the rough slam. “No no, John’s a big boy. He doesn’t like when I get too possessive,” James rolled his eyes, “Besides it’s not like - “

The man’s hand had clamped down on the upper of John’s thigh, and the freckled man was clearly uncomfortable. He was all but trapped back into the bar stool, uncomfortable grimace set on his face. 

The man leaned in, John leaned back, but he still got close to his face, whispering something in his ear.

“Oh hell no!” James caught the beer bottle before it fell, watching as Thomas all but stormed over to his boyfriend.

“Hey baby boy,” His southern accent drawled out stronger, arms wrapping around John’s slender shoulders.

John turned quicker than ever, and Thomas leaned down, lips soft but firm as he deeped the kiss. He pulled back, smug looking smirk at John’s flushed face.

“Hi there, I’m Thomas Jefferson, one of the top lawyers in all of America and on top ten for some in Europe, also used to be on the football team in High School and College. Perhaps you’ve heard of me?”

The man was wearing a UVA jersey, the college Thomas went to (and his family helped found) and the guy looked almost star struck.

“Dude holy shit! You’re a legend at our school! Thomas Jefferson number forty three!”

Thomas grinned, “Oh so you a fan?”

“Dude hell yeah! Man - you’re like, an inspiration! Every big game with nationals coach still plays one of your speeches!”

“Oh cool,” What the hell? “So I assume you also know how strong I am yeah?”

“Dude even if you hadn’t played football - shit man you’re ripped!”

John raised an eyebrow, confusion as to where this was going. Thomas let out a fake laugh. “Oh thanks, so here’s a thing.” He clapped his hands together sarcastically.

He reached a hand out, gripping the man’s shirt in his fists, pulling the shorter man close to his face. “Listen here, you arrogant prick. The guy you were flirting with - quite clearly is mine. You know about me good. You know I can knock a grown man three times my height and weight out without breaking a sweat imagine what I could do to a piece of shit your size. Lay another hand on me, and you’ll end up in the hospital, being sued for every damn thing you own.”

He let go of his shirt, patting the wrinkled out. He sent one of his dazzling smiles. “So we good?”

The man was shaking, hands gripping at his shirt as he backed up. “Y-Yeah man! I-I’m sorry bro! I-I’ll go I - I.” He ran off, and Thomas smirked. If he were a dog the damn thing would have run off with his tail between his legs and piss dripping down them.

John tried to hide his amusement with a pout. “You didn’t have to do that, I had it under control.”

Thomas kissed his cheek, leaning on John’s back. “I know baby boy, but he was touching what was mine and I do not share well.”

John rolled his eyes, “You talk of me as if I’m a possession of yours.”

“You are, a prize I hadn’t had to fight for, and prize better than any damn thing I’ve received in my life and I’ll be damned if anyone take you from me.”

John gulped, seeing the fire in Thomas’ eyes as he spoke, and he found himself speechless. Whenever Thomas got like this…

Tonight was going to be a fun night for sure…

Ted the Animator: “…you did not just name the episode that.”

Carl the Animator: “What? I think it’s catchy.”

Ted the Animator: “Of all the possible… you could have at least dropped ‘affair’, and it would’ve rhymed more. And conveyed the exact same thing.”

Carl the Animator: “I like it this way! It sounds like something a drunk guy in a tinfoil hat would whisper to you like a code phrase at the bus stop.”

Ted the Animator: “…that’s a very specific comparison to bring up.”

Carl the Animator: “Try not to think about it. Just focus on the fact that the title screen is randomly a cat lying on a teal-green silhouette of its own head.”