drunk squid

The Guardians getting drunk ~ Headcanon.

Tsuna:

  • Managed to get drunk with just a glass of diluted wine.
  • Decided to get a hangover because Reborn challenged him to.
  • His head spins wildly but after a while he finds himself enjoying the situation, finally taking advantage of his position as the Vongola Boss.
  • Gokudera is seriously worried for him, panicking every time he throws up, screaming “Juudaime! Juudaime!!”
  • He is never going to drink again… But he can laugh freely now at the point he finds Reborn’s fairy costume funny.
  • Eventually decides to let go for once and succumb to his drunkenness. Maybe he succumbed too much because, despite bossing everyone around, he called Hibari a slutty bitch (yeah that was the worst his innocent mind was able to think of)
  • He gets bitten to death.
  • Tsuna: Gokudera-kun can I borrow your cell phone? Gokudera: I-I’m not sure… Juudaime. Tsuna: Your boss is speaking. Gokudera, flustered: H-Hai! Here you go, Juudaime!!
  • Texts himself: Where are you? Are you okay? Don’t drink too much.
  • Eventually passes out in Gokudera’s arms.

Gokudera:

  • Drank too much vodka
  • Flushed cheeks, horrible headache, mumbling incomprehensible things.
  • He got drunk because he wanted to forget the fact that Yamamoto arrived first to help Tsuna against an enemy.
  • Eventually, the rest of the guardians find him in the bar.
  • He tries to punch Yamamoto in the gut, but it comes off as a little poke. “YouU Are Not Worthy to BE JUudaIme’s riGHT Hand mAn”. Yamamoto laughs.
  • Tsuna asks the others to take him home.
  • Ryohei throws him on his back screaming “EXTREEMELY DRUNK SQUID HEAD” while running towards the bar’s exit.
  • But Gokudera is not done with Yamamoto just yet. He pulls Takeshi’s tie and brings him for a super quick kiss on the lips but then continues to drag him along while Ryohei leads them among the roads
  • Tsuna is running behind them, trying to save Yamamoto.
  • Hibari is left behind with the obnoxious kid. Lambo laughs hysterically at Gokudera’s condition. Hibari gets irritated and bites Lambo to death.
  • Lambo ends up flying above the others, crushing on Gokudera’s face.
  • Gokudera screams for help but Ryohei won’t stop running until they reach home.
  • He passes out on Tsuna’s couch mumbling “I love you Juudaime”.

Yamamoto:

  • Martinis, Whisky, Rum…
  • At first he was just getting in the mood of the party, being his usual cheerful self, taking photos with everyone, irritating Gokudera and getting bitten to death by Hibari.
  • “Let’s dance, Gokudera!”
  • He laughed, a lot. With every little thing.
  • He was in the mood to sing so he ran over to the band of the bar but slipped while trying to get on stage, fell on the singer and knocked him out.
  • They all got kicked out of the bar, Gokudera punching Yamamoto everywhere.
  • But when he slipped, the hit on the head made something within Yamamoto change and he revealed his serious side, deciding he should take advantage of his drunken state and say things he wouldn’t say otherwise.
  • Gokudera: what’s with you all of a sudden? You were laughing like an idiot a moment ago. Yamamoto:  Haru is so kind… and cute. Gokudera: HUH?! Yamamoto: Tsuna, I need your help… Gokudera: DON’T take another step closer to Juudaime! Yamamoto: Gokudera… my vision is kinda blurred but… I can still see you being gay. Gokudera: HUUUH no no no no  don’t listen to him Juudaimeee!! Yamamoto: I don’t blame you though… ya know who looks cuter than Haru? … you. Gokudera: STAY AWAY BASEBALL FREAK! Yamamoto: but he is sexier. Gokudera: h-he? Yamamoto: Hiba-
  • “Kamikorosu”
  • Yamamoto: S-Squalo! Squalo looks so sexy in those tight leather pants. Squalo: VOIIIII I’LL CUT YOU IN TWO, BRAT!
  • Tsuna: I’m fucking outta here.

Ryohei:

  • Drank tons of beer obviously.
  • Nobody thought this guy could get any more loud. They were wrong.
  • “EXTREMELY PUNCHING THE BARTENDER TO BRING MORE BEER”
  • “EXTREME DANCING WITH SAWADA”
  • Gokudera: get your hands off Juudaime, freakin Turf Top!
  • “EXTREMELY SHAVING SQUID HEAD’S HAIR”
  • Gokudera: WHAT ARE YOU DO- JUUDAIMEEEE! *crying*
  • Tsuna: don’t let him ride the motorbike back home. Kyoko will hate me!
  • “EXTREEEEEME MOTOR SPEED”
  • “EXTREEEME CRUSHING ON THE TREE”
  • The rest of the guardians find him half an hour later lying by a fallen tree, mumbling “extreme headache”. Gokudera loses it and starts dragging him to Tsuna’s house. He KICKS the bathroom door open while Dino was using the toilet. Ryohei knocks Dino off the toilet and throws up on him
  • Gokudera: why the fuck did you knock him out? Ryohei: if I was the guy and someone kicked the fucking door and started to puke on me. I would beat the shit out of him. So I punched him so he wouldn’t have the chance to punch me.
  • Tsuna: D-Dino-san… what are you doing in my house? Dino: I-I can explain…
  • Enzio pops out of the kitchen in Godzilla mode.

Hibari:

  • He never drinks. Never. So how did he get drunk?
  • It was an illusion, no doubt. That battle of water… was not water it seems.
  • That bastard Mukuro.
  • Barely walks around Namimori High School mumbling “Kamikorosu, kamikorosu, kamikorosu”
  • “Your existence is against school regulations”
  • Tsuna sees Hibari approaching him in the hallway.
  • Tsuna: HIEE H-Hibari san looks ominous! Hibari: …Kamikorosu Gokudera: Oi bastard, stay away from Juudaime. Yamamoto: Ma ma let’s all be friends!
  • Hibari shoves Yamamoto and Gokudera away with his tonfas and grabs Tsuna’s collar threateningly. Hibari: call… Mukuro Tsuna: A-are y-you d-drunk, Hibari-san? Hibari: I said.. call the bastard. Tsuna: HIEE
  • Mukuro: you were looking for me~? Hibari: fuck you. Mukuro: Oya? Drunk skylark lets his tongue slip… Hibari, pulling out tonfas: Fuck you. Mukuro: Is that all you have to say? “Fuck you”? Hibari: Fuck you. Mukuro: Fuck you, then  Hibari: Fuck me Mukuro: Fuck you?! Hibari: Fuck me.

Mukuro:

  • Nobnody knows what this sexy guy drinks or why would he ever do that.
  • While drunk, he gets even more playful, possessing different bodies and making them do crazy things.
  • That may explain why Gokudera is walking naked in the halls of Namimori High School while snickering in a sickeningly creepy way.
  • Tsuna, extremely flustered: G-GOKUDERA-KUN!!! Gokudera: Kufufu… impressed yet, Juudaime? Tsuna: y-you’re not Gokudera-kun… ROKUDO MUKURO? Gokudera: Oya? I see I cannot hide from the Vongola instinct.
  • Hibari, knocking people out irritated: …Mukuro? Mukuro: Hibari Kyoya. Hibari: get in your own body and come face me, coward. Mukuro: hmm not… in the mood~ Hibari: Kamikorosu!
  • Possessed Gokudera gets bitten to death, Tsuna and Yamamoto carry him to the nurse.
  • Mukuro returns in his own body. The alcohol must be the reason behind his red eye’s malfunctioning. Terrific illusions appear everywhere and the only thing Mukuro can do is laugh, laugh with his heart.
  • Namimori Highschool is set on fire by the realms of hell, a thousand snakes attack Tsuna and his friends and Hibari is suddenly dressed in a green, fluffy gawn.
  • Hibari, smokes emanating from his head: K a m I k o r o s u ! !
  • Mukuro: Hibari Kyoya… I’ll have you kneeling before me again… if you know what I mean~

Lambo:

  • Tsuna: NO LAMBO! You are only 5 years old! Lambo: alala~ Lambo-san already drank it.
  • He starts throwing bombs everywhere, Tsuna’s house getting extremely messed up.
  • Gokudera: you stupid cow! Look what you did to Juudaime’s house!
  • Lambo starts crying as Gokudera yells and chases him around. He stops at one point to pee… on Gokudera of course.
  • Eventually, he draws out the Ten Year Bazooka.
  • The Guardians decided that it was too dangerous to let drunken Lambo running wild around town so they closed him up in Tsuna’s closet while he was still in sober adult-Lambo form.
  • The next morning, once they let him out, he insisted that he had found Narnia.
2

a couple of things I drew earlier today after a convo w/ @tamarinfrog . 1.) drunk!Snowball meets drunk!Taloupe with two disappointed boyfriends watching this unfold. 2.) there was that running gag a while ago where Tetrox would chase down Inklings wearing octogear, question is, would she try an inkling/octoling like Lexi? Taloupe, Cosmo, and Tetrox belong to @tamarinfrog / @searching-for-bananaflies . Snowball, Alec, and Lexi belong to me