drunk sloth

Okay but yall I made rice and didn’t burn it

this is a massive accomplishment you all must celebrate my mastery lmao just kidding I just thought this would amuse some of yall.


An Empire for Sale

The Roman Emperor Commodus was not a good emperor, being known for a legacy of megalomania, lunacy, and tyranny. Commodus’ reign came to an end in 192 AD when he was strangled to death as part of a conspiracy by his maid and the Praetorian Guard, the personal bodyguard of the Emperor. As part of the conspiracy, the Praetorian’s installed a Roman Senator named Pertinax as Emperor under an agreement that he would pay the Praetorians a large sum of money. Under Roman law, the Emperor had to the confirmed by the Senate, so the Praetorians merely forced the Senate to confirm Pertinax with the threat of violence.

The Praetorians thought that being the power behind the throne would be just ace. Soon the Praetorian Guards fell into sloth and drunkeness, it’s members wanting to not only wield the power of an emperor but live like emperors as well. The only problem was that Pertinax reneged on his deal, only paying a portion of the agreed upon sum. In addition Pertinax tried to enforce military discipline upon the Praetorians, trying to reign them in and transform them from being overprivileged pampered slobs back into elite soldiers. The Praetorians didn’t take too kindly to this and thus murdered him on March 28th, 193 AD, a mere three months after installing him as emperor.

After the murder of Pertinax, the Praetorians announced that they would host an auction for the throne. Learning from the mistakes of the past, the Praetorians hoped to milk the empire for all it was worth and demand cash up front. Rome’s wealthiest and most powerful citizens gathered to participate in the auction in hopes of buying the empire.  After several rounds a bidding war developed between Titus Flavius Claudius Sulpicianus, the Prefect of Rome, and Didius Julianus, the Proconsul of Africa.  Sulpicianus bid 20,000 sesterces (silver coins) to every Praetorian Guard. Julianus however won the bid by offering 25,000 sesterces, an enormous sum that Sulpicianus could not match.  The guards saluted him and declared him emperor. They then forced the Roman Senate to confirm him as emperor at sword point.

Unfortunately for Didius Julianus, his time as emperor would be very short.  The people of Rome were resentful of having an emperor ascend to power through pure greed.  Whenever he made a public appearance people would greet him with insults, jeers, and obscenities while pelting him with stones and rotten vegetables. Worse yet, his provincial governors refused to recognize him as a legitimate Emperor of Rome and refused to carry out his orders. This was especially bad because the Roman governors not only controlled the legions and auxiliaries, an army which numbered in the hundreds of thousands, but controlled the infrastructure and day to day governing aparatus of the empire. Julianus, at best, commanded the Praetorians, numbering around 5,000 men at most, by then a force of drunken and unruly men, and the city cohorts or Rome, a police force numbering around 5,000. The people of Rome didn’t take him seriously, the governors didn’t take him seriously, the Senate was resentful of his rule, and his power didn’t stretch far beyond his palace. Poor Didius Julianus was emperor of not much of anything.

Immediately Roman Governors began to march on Rome to oust Julianus. The closest and also the most powerful was the Governor Pannonia Septimus Severus. Julianus sent an envoy to Severus in hopes of negotiating a power sharing deal, but Severus refused and the senators sent to negotiate defected to his side. Julianus then sent a small force of Praetorians to slow down or halt the advance, but Severus’ army easily swept away the small force. Upon reaching Rome, Severus called for the heads of the Praetorian leaders responsible for the murder of Pertinax, and promised to spare everyone else, recognizing that they were mere innocent bystanders or pawns of the Praetorians who acted under the threat of harm.  The Praetorians quickly produced the responsible men, who were immediately executed, and Rome was surrendered to Severus without a fight.

Didius Julianus was declared an enemy of the state by the Senate. He was executed by one of his palace guards, his reign lasting 66 days. Septimus Severus was recognized as Emperor of Rome by the Senate. A civil war would erupt between Severus and some provincial governors for control of the empire. Severus would remain on top, thus founding the Severan Dynasty.

Thank you for the heads up about the sloth pic. I wasn’t really paying attention other than I got linked to it cause cute sloths, and didn’t realize the source (or the person in the image, tbh I didn’t even look at her face) was far right extremist Marine Le Pen.

If you’ve been here a while you’ll know I believe in calling a spade a spade and a racist bigot a racist bigot so no, it wasn’t me showing subversive support for the French alt-right. It was simply a cute sloth mishap.

To make up for it, please accept a baby sloth in a tea cup.

(No sloths were drunk in the making of this photo, although I cannot attest to their sobriety.)

This was a commission for a Christmas gift from one friend of mine to another. The receiver is a big fan of Patrick O'Brian’s Aubrey and Maturin novels which were the basis of the film Master and Commander. This scene in particular was asked for as a subject. It rather fittingly involves Dr. Maturin scolding Captain Aubrey for getting the ship’s pet sloth drunk: “Jack, you have debauched my sloth”.

Most of inking was actually done on the computer with a tablet as I can’t exist these days without an undo button.

Wizard Con 2014 Update Entire Panel transcript

My phone only captured half of the videos I recorded so I am editing the ones I have and will post those as soon as possible. Until then, I will recap the entire panel in detail.

Matt and Karen enter the stage and immediately decide to take a selfie in honor of Karen’s new pilot “Selfie,” they decide to do a selfie making duck faces, after that they sit down and begin questions.

The first question was what they thought the Doctor learned about during his time with Amy. Matt teases and begins to put his arm around Karen, which she jokingly shuts him down. She says that she wants the doctor to never be alone, to always travel with a friend, the girl who asked the question made a joke that Amy was really young/vivacious, and she had the ability to put the doctor in his place, to which Matt snapped his fingers in a z-formation and said that she definitely did. Matt later joked when told that he was the girl’s favorite Doctor that he is always susceptible to flattery, to which the girl replied that she would be around the convention after the panel. Karen yells “what’s happening here??1?”

It was reiterated several times during the panel that Eleven always approached things with a child-like wonder and freshness that was wonderful.

The next question was about the Tardis, what it was like to be in the Tardis. Karen said said “It’s big…ger on the inside!!” and laughs. Matt says there is two revelations on today’s panel: one, that the doctor likes to travel with people, and that two, the Tardis is bigger on the inside!“ Karen laughs and says,"this is like Doctor Who for Dummies!” Karen is told that a little boy named A.J. loves her but was traumatized when he saw that she cut her hair, Karen promises that she’s trying to grow it back as soon as she can, but the mother jokes that her son will need therapy later in life. There is a joke made about there being Doctor Who related therapy.

Karen loved playing a soothsayer in “The Fires of Pompeii,” she loved the fun hand gestures she got to make as well as the chance to work with both Tennant and Catherine Tate, she says she thought Tate got to play the coolest have the coolest job ever and so she was overjoyed when she got the chance to later. Matt reminded Karen that Peter Capaldi was also in the episode and she was like “Oh my god yes! He had an English accent then! I wonder how they are going to explain that?” The moderator says that he knows an explanation, but he cannot reveal that to the audience, rather that he will tell them later backstage. It is mentioned that they never said that a soothsayer that looked like Amy was also there, to which the moderator joked: “That’s because they will bring you to be a Doctor in the future!” The crowd goes wild and Karen laughs and says “oh my god…that would be disastrous!!”

They talk about how they were not able to see the Doctor Who premiere last night because they were busy and did the Ice Bucket Challenge for Karen, they explain it was basically the craziest thing ever, that it involves a doll Matt received the night before from a fan, they try to show the audience, but they are unable to connect to wi-fi and Matt curses the internet. 

They both say that the Weeping Angels and The Silence are the scariest things they ever encountered working together.

Matt says Leonardo was his favorite TMNT, Karen didn’t know what TMNT was and Matt and the Moderator begin to make fun of her for a full minute until the moderator stopped and said “Okay we are basically acting like little boys making fun of a girl” Karen replies “oh my god I am 5 again!”

They get on the subject of Disney children’s movies. Karen is asked how she is doing with her driving, which she says she told people she was a fantastic driver in the United states and therefore began driving around Warner Bros studios in golf carts “Very dangerous.” Matt is asked if he would ever go driving with Karen, to which he jokes that driving with her would be like being in a car with Bambi “it’s pure suicide can you imagine?” He does an imitation of Bambi driving a car and says that her hooves would beep the horn. They begin talking about how he loves Disney films. “Matt says eh loves them, especially the Lion King, but that he is traumatized that in all Disney films from our generation, the parents are always dying. He says that he believes it might do kids some good to be scared young though, Karen defends him quickly and agrees with him, then they are asked if they each had ever had a scary childhood experience. Karen says she watched The Exorcist at a very young age alone in her room without her parents knowing, and Matt says he watched Friday the 13th too young and was scarred at a scene with a bed.

Karen said she used to like to scare other children with her ghost stories, but she always ended up scaring herself instead. She said at her childhood school "at a church” she said that she would see a patch of cotton wool and would tell the other girls “it’s actually the hair of monks” and then didn’t sleep for weeks afterwards, even though she made it up herself.

They both mention that they love receiving gifts from their fans, they feel as if they are getting things from their friends and it really touches them. Matt does make a joke that he received a letter from a girl yesterday and she asks him if he likes pandas, and he lets us know that yes, he indeed loves pandas.

Matt is told that Tumblr has agreed that he is an ungraceful giraffe, he gasps and says “i always thought i was graceful!"When asked which animal would be their spirit animal, they go into a fit of giggles, Matt says that he was told this but he definitely agrees that he is a llama, and proceeds to do a frightfully perfect imitation of a llama. Karen says she would be a meerkat, Matt loses it and basically thrashing around on the couch "That is so perfect! Her head is so large and she can barely hold onto her own body weight!” He says later that she could also be a drunk sloth and Karen and him start draping themselves over the shrubbery until Karen stops and just looks down and says “what are we even doing?”

They are asked about New York and they begin on a tangent of how much they loved working there, and beyond that how much they saw that Americans love Doctor Who and how that also grew with their series’.

They tell a story to one night they were so happy that New York loved them so much, they decided to go out dancing, and that they stayed out dancing all night and when they later came back they danced to Arcade Fire until morning, Matt says if you look really hard you can tell in one of their videos the next morning when they seem like they are half dead and grumbling their responses to the press. (AHHHH DANCING IN THE MOONLIGHT FEELINGS).

They say their favorite episode was S05 E02 “the Beast Below,” Matt loves Series 5 the best, but he is freaked out whenever they bring him pictures of that Series that he realizes how long they look, Karen agrees and Matt is insulted “don’t agree!”

They talk about how they play a game called “gapping,” which is basically going up behind a person when their arm is out and putting your am in between and yelling “Gapping!” and then leave- they apparently did this a lot to each other as well as many extras on set. They are also asked about how close the three of them are and they reply that they have their own special language, that they can say something in a certain voice and they will both lose it.

Matt’s favorite side character was Vincent Van Gogh

They are asked which Doctor is hotter, Ten or Eleven. Matt looks at Karen and she finally answers Eleven. Though at first she pretends to forget who plays the Eleventh Doctor.

When asked if he loved to work with Jenna or Karen more he says “I love working with each of them more than the other” then he gets up and runs off the stage… He comes back and later says that while he does love working with Jenna, it’s different because Karen is his best friend, so naturally he loved working with her a bit more, and that that can be seen in his relationship with Amy, that at some point it really became life imitating art, and that their relationship off and on screen were practically the same (thank you for saying what we were all all thinking Matt).

After Series 5 was made BBC did not know if they were going to continue making more Doctor Who, but later decided to and that now they as a company would never think of NOT making another series of Doctor Who.

Karen begins to say that in reality so much of her Matt and Arthur going on the journey of them being on Who paralleled so much of how they were as their characters. That their journey together was so large and this brings them back in talking about Amy and Eleven- that their relationship was at times a father to a daughter, a mother to a son, a brother to a sister, two friends, two children growing up together, that while these and other feelings were there, they did not go just on the path of romance, just having a typical romance would not be enough for their relationship, there is more than that, their connection is deeper. Later, Matt says that the greatest introduction of a Doctor and his companion was that of Eleven and Amelia Pond, but that he is biased. They both also agree that filming their first they were in was more difficult than their last day. Matt says that Karen was just so natural, he would just look at her and be in awe of that.

Their favorite episode with Daleks were the one that they were both in “Asylum of the Daleks.”

Matt’s wardrobe was inspired by him, he auditioned in a tweed jacket and he could have gone in a leather jacket he had with stripes, yet he thought it looked like he was a pirate and thought that the doctor would never be so cool, and decided a “professor” look was better. He was dying for a hat all of the first series that Steven Moffat finally decided to add in the fez and that while it was only there for a few minutes on screen, it now is iconic as well as the tweed jacket and bow-tie.

Karen went back and forth with her wardrobe department until she got really into the look of her leather jacket and skirts.

Karen finished working on a Western, as well as a comedic pilot for HBO with ANDY SANDBURG, KIT HARRINGTON, WITH APPEARANCES BY STEPHEN SPIELBERG. Matt, as we know, is working on Terminator, and also wants everyone to know he loves Detroit, Michigan because he loves Motown, Rap, and will be driving through there as he drives up to Canada (he says he loves road trips in general).

They miss working on Doctor Who because they saw each other as well as their other friends every day. They miss Arthur and his lunges (Karen says Arthur is a boy who is always lunging around). They miss Moffat and the ability to run around and away from monsters. Matt as a mini-breakdown and asks Karen what they were doing when they decided to leave the show. Karen says she doesn’t know what they’ve done.

They are asked about how they keep up while spending so much time apart when they used to spend all of their time together, and Karen says in a sultry voice: how do we keep the relationship alive? How do we keep the chemistry from going out?“ and Matt is stuttering/laughing like a fool while making faces at each other. They say that doing things like panels help so they can see each other. Someone says they should go bowling and Matt gets very indignant and states that he has always been an athletic boy and that Karen whom  cannot hold her head with her body weight and who flails like Bambi was better at bowling than him. "This is how I work with Karen, I give her a compliment, and then take it away.”

They are asked to make up their own episode of doctor who. They have Amy see a llama with green teeth that is terrorizing people, she calls the doctor and he comes and crashes the Tardis on top of the llama, she believes it’s over but he is soon possessed by the spirit of the llama and his teeth start turning green and develops fur and hooves. Amy undoes the spell that she finds in a book in a labyrinth in the swimming pool.

They decide that their favorite line Amy says is “Doctor” they start a game to which they decide in all the ways and voices they can say “Doctor” (yes, my mind went there oops).

They talk about Eleven’s regeneration twice. The first is when they do a reenactment and Matt suddenly (in slow-motion) begins to reach for Karen’s face, and Karen reciprocates. Later, Matt is told that Ten’s regeneration was extremely dramatic, while his was just a sneeze into turning to Peter Capaldi,. Matt says that there were several takes they did for that scene and while there were some dramatic ones, it was decided that the Doctor knew he was not dying, he was not upset he was leaving, but resigned to the fact that he had to “change.”

Karen says that she was there and she personally thought it very emotional.

Matt says he wants to go back in time to hang out with dinosaurs and eat some forbidden fruit, Karen says she wants to go to the future and see what technology will be present and that she believes humans will be living in a virtual reality.

The final question was what would they do for a Klondike Bar? Matt and Karen don’t know what they are but when explained Matt says “I think the question really is What WOULDN’T I do for a Klondike bar?”

That concludes the panel and it was the best thing.

Again, I’ll post what videos survived whenever they load.