drunk on luke

Drunk Luke
  • Luke: *petting calum* good petunia
  • Calum: Stop petting meee
  • Luke: shh *petting Calum*
  • Calum: no im not petunia stopp
  • Luke: *petting calum* you've gotten so big petunia
  • Calum: Luke for fuck sake stop petting me, I am not your dog.
  • Luke: Why are you sounding like calum *squishes his cheeks*
  • Calum: I am calum
  • Luke: such a cute dog *kisses calums cheek*
  • Calum: Bro
  • Luke: Bro lets kiss
  • Calum: woof im petunia
  • Luke: dogggoo *petting calum again*

anonymous asked:

This may be a bit weird but do you have any songs for Mccree, Reaper, Tracer and Hanzo that are like their and their s/o's theme song? Thanks papa

 Wow okay i love this idea, so much so I did them all~ Hope you don’t mind xD 

Mccree: Drunk on You - Luke Bryan


Reaper:  The Light Behind Your Eyes - My Chemical Romance


Tracer: Rude - Madilyn Bailey 


Hanzo: I’ll Keep You Safe - Sleeping at Last


Sombra: More Than Friends - Victoria Duffield 


Lucio: When Can I See You Again - Owl City


Pharah - Rather Be - Clean Bandit


Genji - Shut Up and Dance - Walk The Moon


Junkrat: Burning Love - Batmobile 


Soldier 76: Rebel Beat - Goo Goo Dolls


Mercy: Like I’m Going to Lose You - Megan Trainor 


Mei: I Do Adore - Mindy Gledhill


Widowmaker: I Think I’m in Love - Kat Dahlia


D.VA: Here’s to Never Growing Up - Avril Lavigne


Ana: Dream a Little Dream of Me - Mama Cass


Reinhardt: La Vie En Rose - Louis Armstrong


Roadhog: Hooked on a Feeling - Blue Swede


Zarya: In The Stars - Icona Pop


Symmetra: When I’m Away - The Colourist


Party of Three x Calum Hood and Ashton Irwin

Word Count: 1139

Requested: No but, this morning I listened to the “party party” playlist on Cal’s Spotify while I was doing cardio and I had this trash idea

Warnings: Implications of upcoming smut, drinking and partying

Much love…

 It wasn’t a rare occurrence for you to be partying on a Friday night with Calum and Ashton. 

The three of you had become the sort of three musketeers of the party scene. From concerts and Emo Night to overrated house parties, you guys had been there and done it all. If you were out, the drinks were kept to a minimum. But considering that the three of you decided to play hostess at Ashton’s humble abode tonight, the only limit that each of you had was your liver. 

Before the party had even started, Ashton had popped open a fresh bottle of wine for you, his, “favorite wine mom,” further enhancing your ‘mom friend’ repertoire. You normally felt the need to watch over Cal and Ash but tonight Calum had made you promise to, “Let go a bit more,” because he would be there to, “hold your hair back." 

At that you’d laughed, they both noted that you weren’t known to hold your liquor. That had been confirmed the hard way when you’d been invited to "Whiskey and Whitesnake Wednesday,” for the first time. The next morning you were ready to kill the boys because of the monstrosity that was a hangover, but they took care of you just as promised. This only reassured you that the same would happen tonight and in the wee hours of tomorrow. 

 As Calum stood with you at the counter, he couldn’t help but to smile in his less than sober state. He wasn’t plastered yet but he’d already downed a few shots since the party had commenced. He was becoming increasingly cuddly as time had went on but you didn’t mind, his cuddles were more than tolerable. 

Ashton on the other hand was clearly enjoying himself as he dashed out from the master bedroom adorned in a faux fur coat and cheap, plastic sunglasses he’d acquired from the gas station. He had already surpassed inebriated and his mood was no longer a conscious one. Ashton would be overtly sexual for the majority of the night but would surely be hit by a plague of sadness for no particular reason toward its close. Currently he was grinning from ear to ear, carrying around a bottle of vodka as he called you over, “C'mom (Y/N), you haven’t taken a shot with Daddy yet." 

"Ashton as much as you say it, I’ll never see how you can refer to yourself as Daddy,” you chuckled, even though you knew that it was a blatant lie. Calum had decided to join you as he wouldn’t miss the opportunity for shots with you, “Just one more with us Sweetie,” he smiled draping his arm around your shoulder. 

There was one more. Then two and it only continued from there until Ashton had lost his jacket and Calum had dragged you toward the mass of people who claimed to be dancing, “Are you having fun,” he practically yelled. “I think so,” you hiccuped, “I know you and Irwin are." 

 Ash had been swept away in the somewhat large crowd although you could still here him yelling nonsense over the various pop and punk renditions Calum had insisted on playing. "You- staying with us tonight, right?” He slurred, “I can sleep with Ash and you take the guest room if you-" 

"I think we should ALL sleep together,” Ashton interrupted, sneaking up on you and squeezing your hips. He always did that, even in his sober state, so it came as no surprise. Neither did the three of you rooming together; nothing had ever occurred between you and either of them in the numerous times it had happened, even if it had been one of your biggest fantasies. 

 Sloppily turning around you glanced at Ash who had managed to lose both his treasured sunglasses and imitation fur. He was left now in only his skinny jeans and a button up where his chest hair remained proudly on display, “What happened to the get up Irwie,” you prodded with a drunken giggle. 

 "I lost- CALUM this is our song,“ he suddenly changed subject as the iconic, 'I Wanna Dance With Somebody,’ flooded through a distant set of speakers. Calum was quickly pulled away from you as Ashton began yelling, "Oh I wanna dance with somebody! I wanna feel the heat with somebody!" 

You couldn’t help but to snicker at your uninhibited best friends. They had no cares as the two of them danced with one another, Ashton’s hands grabbing at Calum’s sides. Calum himself was eating up the attention, his seldom dimples on full display as he asked you to join singing, "Don’t you wanna dance with me Baby?" 

 There was no hesitation as you stammered over, the alcohol within your system beginning to catch up. Three was never a crowd with you and the boys, it was always perfect even if you were all more than tipsy, practically grinding upon each other to an eighties hit. You loved it, you loved them but it was in more ways than one. ”(Y/N), you’re getting feisty,“ Ashton gasped in an over the top manner, quickly covering his mouth with his hand. 

 "Leave her alone,” Calum smirked, “She’s having a good time.” The song had finally changed to a more modern 'Starboy,’ causing Ashton to back away from his prior position. The grinding continued although not on the boys part, it was all your own will. You’d finally had the proper amount of liquid courage and the boys weren’t complaining. 

 Your head leaned back against Calum allowing you to look up to his wandering eyes, “Calum you can touch me, I won’t break,” you urged, his hazy eyes seeming to light up. 

 "What about me,“ Ashton interrupted, "Is Calum allowed to share with me?" 

 You had never felt tension so thick between the three of you. It had always existed but was never so evident; no one was working to prevent its further escalation. Calum and Ashton’s hands were both roaming your skin but not in a familiar manner.

 This all felt new but it surely wouldn’t remain that way. 

 "Shit,” you groaned, “Is this really happening?" 

 "Do you want it too? Daddy wouldn’t mind and I don’t think Calum would either,” Ashton spoke against your ear. His giggly personality was nonexistent in his tone, he was beyond serious.

“Just don’t make her call you Daddy- Unless you want too Sweetie,” Cal replied instinctively. Swallowing harshly you nodded, “What about everyone else,” your thoughts coming a bit clearer as you felt Calum’s breath on your neck, “I can shut this down or we can let it happen. I wouldn’t mind an audience,” he groaned. 

 "Shall we move this party of three to my room?“ Ashton spoke again. "I’d like that,” you began, pausing for a moment before muttering a softer, “Daddy-”