- I’ve been touching your butt for the past half hour but I swear the first five minutes were accidental
- you’ve been grinding on all my friends but not on me it’s been four hours I’m drunk my ego is hurt I want an explanation
- you’re obviously interested in me but I am a socially awkward person who doesn’t even dance please stop touching my butt
- I didn’t know it would be a fancy dress night
- I didnt know it wouldn’t be a fancy dress night
- I am interested in you but you are surrounded by hyper protective and slightly scary Drag Queens with very high heels
- we’ve been taking turns at the pole and end up dancing together and it’s quite a bit indecent
- this fun-ruiner has been obviously bothering you all night and you don’t have anyone to give you a way out so I’ll make out with you in the name of Justice
- oh man I love this song so much lemme sing it dramatically at the top of my lungs while standing in the middle of the dance floor
- you keep taking me back to the dance floor but I really need to pee
— I end up dragging you with me to the toilets to explain the situation and you start passionately making out with me
—- I am really enthusiastic about this development but am also about to pee on myself
—— Is2g if you’re not there when I get out of the loo I’m gonna be pissed off
——- I am pissed off
- all my friends are leaving and we all came in the same car but I don’t wanna let go of you
- you???! here??!?!??!? what how
- I thought you came in with a significant other but apparently it’s a platonic significant other
- I came in to get my friend/sibling to come home but I saw you (long time crush/very positive first impression)
- you keep knocking down stuff and people let me be your support
- you’re drunk or high or both and keep saying things
- your fake id looks so fake I can’t believe you paid someone for that
- I’ve known you for years and have never ever seen you moving like that I feel betrayed
- we came here on my suggestion but apparently you’re on a first name basis with every staff member
- I was supposed to chaperone you but I apparently am your kryptonite; I would like to be sorry but I really am not
- getting out to make out properly and ending up engrossed in a very deep conversation until 7am; the club is closing and all our friends are various shades of worried and pissed off
He stared out the window, silently cursing the rain that was pouring from the sky and ruining all of his grand plans for the day. It wasn’t just any day. Today was the day. The one where he desperately needed everything to fall into place. As usual, the universe refused to cooperate, causing the thread of what made him an archangel to begin to fray, drawing a little more of the innate, primordial being to the surface.
That was how you found him, staring out the sliding glass door to the deck, glowering fire and brimstone down upon the first gloriously sunny day you’d had all week.
“Uh, Gabe?” You’d sounded confused and more than a little wary, though the caution your words carried wasn’t the kind where you recognized the inherent danger in him. It was where you wondered if he hadn’t somehow slipped out, drank a liquor store in your absence, and now you were going to have to keep him entertained or spend the rest of the day hiding the existence of Sparkle Fingers (his drunk alter ego aptly named for his tendency to zap things indiscriminately) from the rest of suburbia.
Unbeknownst to you, what he was looking at was halfway across the world and under the threat of taking on some serious water. Sure, he could snap his fingers and there’d be clear skies again, but it was one thing to clear up a little rain storm and completely another to wipe out a category four typhoon. The latter might draw a little more attention than he hoped considering he was technically still in hiding. Though that was mostly from the Winchesters at your insistence since the Brothers Grimm had already gotten you both respectively killed during the apocalypse.
Gabriel hadn’t argued considering how painful it had been resurrecting you once, not to mention how nearly devastating to most of North America.
“Is something wrong?” You continued when he didn’t respond. He turned, forcing himself to rein in his vexation as he made an attempt at a convincing smile. The excuse he gave sounded hollow to his own ears, though his tongue was more talented with those than the even weaker attempt at reassurance that followed. The way you continued to regard him like you were trying to remember where you kept the holy oil suggested he hadn’t been very successful.
Here's something to help distract you. Imagine literally any (or all) of the egos drunk. Will being impossible to understand because his speech is already slurred enough, but he also doesn't shut up. Google doesn't look drunk, but he gives wrong answers and glitches more. Dark trying to be charming, but instead using cheesy pick up lines. Host reverts back to his Author days, loud and crass and carrying a bat. Idk for the others
Okay but i love this??? Especially dark Cuz i imagine him just laying on the table Trying to be sexy with his shirt half off while he attempts to hit on wilford but Then the table breaks And host just fucking loses it. Like hes literally on the Floor crying of laughter.
You know what you have to do right?” She purrs, smoke drifting from her curved lips. “You have to choose right now. You can either continue to fuck up any chance of happiness that comes your way and complain when things don’t work,” she levels me with a hard stare and smirks. “Or let it go. And realise that not everyone is going to treat you how he did, try to hope this one could be different and that I won’t have to pour you a drink if he turns out to be like the others.
Excerpt from the book I’ll never write // advice from my alter ego
watching the rabbits
digging their holes
making their burrows
to hide away
to eat and fuck
I’ve drunk too much
my ego is fatally wounded
she no longer wants me
watching the rabbits
and I wish to climb in
Ok, I got more for drunk egos. Bim is the dude who carries around a camera and films everything. The Jims follow him, but also hide people's shit or put it in weird places so they can't find it when they sober up. Dr.Iplier immediately gets sick, he's a light weight and pukes a lot. King of the Squirrels climbs on everything, hiding ontop of shelves and bookcases, throwing nuts at anyone who walks by. Ed isn't really effected, and Silver Shepard is the one trying to make sure no one gets hurt.
Lmao bim is getting that blackmail material especially on dark. The jims are relatable Cuz i did that to a friend once (got her to put her keys in the fridge Damn was she confused the next day). Silver shepard Trying to get king off the fridge by hitting him with a broom (its not effective).
Okay but more on that blackmail thing that bim has going on tho. Imagine that since dark is so incredibly drunk that he manages to make dark basically strip down to his underpants while the others fucking cheer him on. Bim didnt want to see dark naked but it makes the perfect blackmail material.
Meanwhile during all this ed is just sitting in the corner like “cmon yall we only had one bottle of whiskey”
[The following morning I wake up to my head using his bicep as a pillow, and his nose still dangerously close to mine.
Shit shit shit.
I climb out the bed and wince as he begins to shuffle, hoping he won’t wake up. I watch him, frozen on the spot, as he turns over and places his hands under the pillow, cuddling his face into it. I have to admit, he looks pretty adorable. I blush as I stare at his soft pink lips and remember how amazing they had felt last night. I shake my head and snap out of it, picking up a few stray items of clothing from the floor and gathering them in my arms as I make my way to find Arizona or Alex and devise an escape plan.
I find Arizona in the kitchen, happily humming to herself whilst making everyone coffee. She smiles, wide and bright as always, in spite of her obvious hangover.
“Hey!” she chirps. She looks down to see me clutching my heels, jacket and bra. “Ooooohhhh, you look guilty.” It’s as if she’s just heard the juiciest gossip of the year.
“Of what?!” I go on the defence, obviously.
“I could literally take a picture of you right now and use it as a definition of walk of shame,” she explains, laughing a little. She stirs a couple of sugars into two of the coffees. “Do you and your lover boy want coffee?”
“He’s not my lover boy, shut up! And no, I don’t. I want to get out of here… are you coming?”
“No. Come upstairs, we’re having coffee. Alex has just gone to buy bacon sandwiches so go wake Owen up…”
“I’d rather not, he looks like he’s tired,” I half-lie. He does look tired, but that’s not the reason I don’t want him to wake.
Arizona is in that mood where she won’t take no for an answer and as we climb the stairs to Meredith’s room, I hope conversation will steer clear of last night. I step through the door to a big, open room with a huge double bed underneath a large bay window. Meredith is still in the bed, propped up on the white metal frame with some pillows. Close to the bed is a coffee table with two beanbags nearby, one being occupied by Callie who’s curled up and wearing what looks like 4 or 5 layers. Arizona places the coffee tray carefully next to her and casually flops into the empty bean bag.
“Mornin’,” Callie groans.
“Hmmmm,” I grumble back. “Does anyone else feel like the last round of shots were completely unnecessary last night?”
Nobody answers but they all raise their hands in agreement, nodding.
Meredith pats the bed next to her and pulls the coves up for me to join her. “Where’s Owen?”
“Still asleep,” I dismiss.
“Is there a particular reason for him to be so sleepy?” Meredith teases as I shuffle over on the bed to share her pillow.
“No,” I curtly say. She thoughtfully narrows her eyes at my rudeness but drops it.
“Hey Shep! You’re up! Here,” Alex greets, throwing me a wrapped bacon sandwich as he strolls into the room and collapses sideways across the foot of the bed, handing the others their orders. “Where’s Owen?”
“Ugh, he’s asleep! Leave him be,” I mutter.
“Actually, I’m not.” His voice causes my heart to jump into my throat. I avoid looking at him but divert my eyes directly into the suspicious gaze of Meredith. I inwardly curse and just stare at my bacon instead, the room becoming white noise to my guilt-ridden ears.
I silently pray he’ll sit next to Callie but he walks over to the bed, sits and rests his feet up on the covers next to me. His arm grazes against mine and I can’t help but look to the patch of burning skin where we’re connected. I peer up from under my brow, curious as to what he is concentrating on- Callie, who I think is reminding the room of the karaoke attempts from last night, or me. It’s me. He’s watching my face, trying to gauge my reaction to his purposefully close proximity, and he smiles as (of course) the automatic blush creeps into my cheeks. I’m so confused- a few hours ago he was cheating on his girlfriend but he’s acting as if nothing is wrong. I’m acting as if nothing is wrong. Perhaps we can convince ourselves we did nothing wrong…