drunk omg

anonymous asked:

I was reading your headcanons and read the part were Touka's drunk, I was like OMG! I would love to see Kaneki try and take care of a drunk Touka. I would be funny because with re 122 if he can't handle regular blunt (and flirty) Touka, he definitely can't handle a drunk Touka 😂

IMAGINE HOW DRUNK TOUKA WOULD IT BE! If she’s extremely sassy and honest just by being sober, imagine how crazy she would become if she gets drunk 😂 but at some point i think Kaneki wouldn’t find that uncomfortable? I thikn he would feel like she’s super cute, like a grumpy little girl. I wonder what other dirty things she can say to him while being drunk 👀

i’m in my prime,
not withering and old.
but i refuse to play
your wicked games any longer.

i know this tether is unbreakable,
but you make me feel like i’m interchangeable.
you drew a target on my heart,
when did this become fatal attraction?

i don’t have the strength,
the energy,
nor the patience
to be held hostage by your love.

so baby please don’t despair
when i say that
i’ve found the courage to
let you go.

you were never meant to be tied down in the first place.

—  believing i could love you was my mistake, c.j.n.
8

♪♪ in the club with JohnJae😎

if people were elements,
then we are ice and fire.

your touch is frost upon my burning skin,
my breath melts your frozen heart.
your kiss is cool against my lips,
and my heat warms you all the way down
to the tips of your toes.

and although we could complement each other,
beckon the other away from the end of polarity
to come and meet in the middle,
too much of one

will eliminate the other.

—  and i’d never forgive myself if i caused your destruction, c.j.n.
5

“What the hell? I’m so drunk, I ended up in a different anime and pulled a Breakfast Attack. Yeah, that was a shock. I didn’t hear about this show being on TV Tokyo!”

Stoned love

Stop messing round with that fire,
Living like love is just a gun for hire,
Cos one moment its just messing round,
To your wiki saying she’s your spouse,
Oh but its not just girls,
Cos yeah one moment I was tearing off her blouse,
Now she says she’s living in my house,

Babe I know you said you’d never smoke pot,
Its just; that burned Like your first splif,
Now we just hanging around in the dark, you’re pale as a ghost.
Stop messing round now, cos am too stoned,
You’re know I can’t save you cos in this game am too gone,

She’s only seventeen, and thinks at sixteen am all there is,
But a degenerate kind, baby am definitely not what you need,
She wants to dance with devil, Mr brownstone is just grave,
Oh Y’know the drugs will drown her out, just too young,
Can’t believe this is my life, smoking and fucking in the back,

3

I thought he was just confused…but no, Pete was literally getting a fucking tattoo done while all of this was going on. This just blows my mind.

Drunk/Drinking Starters
  • ❝I do not get drunk-- I get awesome.❞
  • ❝I didn't fall... the floor just needed a hug. ❞
  • ❝Wanna know what rhymes with drunk? Sex. ❞
  • ❝Nothing tastes as good as drunk feels.❞
  • ❝I've had... eleventy twelve beers.❞
  • ❝I've been cheating on you with a guy named Morgan. He's a captain.❞
  • ❝I'm not as drunk as I use to was.❞
  • ❝Halloween? More like Hallowe-’re getting fucked up.❞
  • ❝What do you expect me to do- I'm drunk!❞
  • ❝But then I remember that alcohol existed.❞
  • ❝It’s not called slurring your words. It’s called talking in cursive and it’s fucking elegant.❞
  • ❝I’m totally walking straight, but this damn Earth is drunk!❞
  • ❝If you can’t suck a cigarette, you sure as hell can’t suck a dick!❞
  • ❝I wanna bae you up.❞
  • ❝You're so drunk when I'm pretty.❞
  • ❝It's 10;30 and I'm already fucking wasted…❞
  • ❝I'm almost sober...❞
  • ❝We are best friends now. Yeah c'mere, let's get drunk again.❞
  • ❝Why do people wear boxers? They’re just like small pants.❞
  • ❝I am currently dating a tall bottle of Jack Daniels.❞
  • ❝I’m in Pirates of the Caribbean right now..❞
  • ❝Take me drunk I’m home.❞
  • ❝Let’s go dress up like Batman and Robin and patrol the neighborhood.❞
  • ❝Your kitchen is so far away. Who designed this shit?❞
  • ❝Your cat... has it always had a German accent?❞

anonymous asked:

i found a text post around tumblr where this guy's roommate came home really drunk and designed an airplane (with all the drawings and calculations and shit) while intoxicated and didn't remember it the next day could u imagine that with cf victor and yuuri tho lmfao

“Okay, okay, look,” Yuuri slurs, lying on Victor’s chest with a notepad held above his head and a pen resting between his fingers. “Look,” he repeats, as though Victor isn’t looking. “See?

“See what?” Victor asks, brushing Yuuri’s hair back out of his eyes. It’s not particularly comfortable, lying like this, but he’s not about to complain. Yuuri is adorable when he’s drunk.

He had been playing some game with Phichit for a few hours, and then he’d come back to their dorm room like this. Immediately, he’d collapsed on top of Victor and started babbling incessantly about a genius breakthrough he’d had. Now, he’s designing an airplane, and is very adamant that Victor pay attention to whatever it is he’s doing. “Look! Look!” he’s insisting.

“I’m looking,” Victor promises.

“See the, um, what’s that part called? The wing! See how the wing is shaped? Like that? That helps,” he informs him, but his serious tone is betrayed by his occasional hiccup. “Listen,” he repeats.

Victor can’t help but laugh, now. “I am listening, Yuuri. I’m listening and looking. I promise.”

“Now if we just… The air resistance…” He starts scribbling formulas.

In an attempt to get him to forget about his airplane, Victor runs his foot up the bottom of Yuuri’s sweatpants, drifts it across his ankle. Yuuri doesn’t even seem to notice. “So you’re designing an airplane?” he asks, because if you can’t beat them, join them.

Yuuri shifts on top of him–it’s incredibly distracting. “Mmm,” he agrees. A second later, he thrusts his drawing in front of him, admiring it. “Done.”

“Done?”

As if an afterthought, he adds a few more numbers with little arrows pointing to pieces of the plane. Then, he puts the paper down on the bed and turns onto his side, his entire weight still resting on Victor. Victor wraps his arms around him, keeps their legs tangled together. “Goodnight, Yuuri.”

“You’re so nice, Vitya,” he mumbles against Victor’s chest. “So nice. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

~

“Who wrote this?” Yuuri asks the following morning, holding up his airplane design. Then, he pauses, and slowly but surely brings the paper closer to his eyes. “This design is actually intuitive.”

“You made it last night,” Victor reminds him. “You don’t remember?”

“I made this?”

“You’re even smarter than me when you’re drunk,” he teases, gripping Yuuri’s hips with his hands and looking at the paper over his shoulder. “Except, there is a drool stain on my shirt.”

Yuuri turns in his arms and then cringes when he sees the prominent stain on Victor’s chest. Then, though, he seems to identify his mischievous smile and nudges his shoulder instead of being embarrassed. “Well, you’re a good pillow.”

“I like being your pillow. Can I major in that? Yuuri Katsuki’s pillow. Whenever you want to design airplanes while drunk again, just let me know. Or if you want to do something else while lying on top of me…” He pauses, lets the meaning behind his words settle in. “Let me know.”

“I’m up for doing something else while lying on top of you.”

Victor perks up. “You are?”

“Like playing games on my phone, reading a book, talking to Makkachin…”

“Yuuri.”

“I’m kidding.” He takes his hand and squeezes it, then leads him to the bed. “Really though, that design wasn’t bad. Remind me to show it to Phichit later.”