drunk in the bath

crimson-chains  asked:

PROMPT: VICTURI GLITTER DICK, YOU KNOW WHY

Victor all but stumbled into their hotel room, laughing and waving enthusiastically to someone in the hallway. He spun on his heels, face alight and quite literally sparkling under the dim lights. “Yuuuuuri!” he boldly declared a split second before shushing himself with a chuckle, in the realization that his voice was a decibel above intended.

Said Yuuuuuri glanced up from bed, adjusting his glasses and setting down his phone, game on it paused. He squeaked, managing to snatch his phone out of the way as Victor collapsed onto the bed, draping himself across his fiancé.

“I can see you had fun,” Yuuri commented with a laugh, swiping a finger across one of Victor’s alcohol-flushed cheeks. It came back glimmering.

Victor mumbled something in Russian as he nuzzled into the back of Yuuri’s neck, littering it with slightly sloppy kisses. “You should have come with us, my love, it’d be waaaay more fun.”

“Would I come back covered in glitter too?” Yuuri asked, glancing down at the white bedsheets, which were now dusted with the sparkles coming off Victor’s skin.

“Chris’s idea!” Victor announced. “He covered me in gold, look!” Sitting up, Victor fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, only managing to get a couple undone before a low whine at his own slow speed signaled to Yuuri that he wanted help.

Still laughing at the sight of his normally very put together fiancé, Yuuri admired the messy silver hair also dusted in tiny gold flecks and the unkempt state of his shirt with the button alignment off—meaning it had already come off at one point during the night. Clubbing with Victor, Chris, and one of the wilder ice dance pairs the night before a ten-hour flight had seemed like a bad idea to Yuuri, and he hardly regretted turning down the invitation. All the more knowing that he would have come back to the room drunk and bathed in glitter.

“Mmmm, Yuuri, hurry up,” Victor complained, teeth finding the lobe of Yuuri’s ear, breath hot and moist against it as he nipped.

Yuuri was finding it hard to hurry up when Victor’s tongue was skating patterns along the shell of his ear. “S-stop that,” he scolded, getting the last button undone with steely determination.

The shirt hit the floor immediately, followed by a cascade of golden glitter that would surely justify a significant tip of apology to the maid. “Someone said I looked like Oscar!” Victor said, gesturing to his chest, which was indeed covered with thick ribbons of glitter. Each shift of his muscles caused an explosion of light to sparkle off his skin. “…Who’s Oscar?”

“Who’s Oscar, I don’t kno–” Yuuri paused in his mental search and started to laugh. “Oh, I think they meant an Oscar! The Academy Award? For movies? Like Best Picture?”

“You bet I’m the fucking best picture,” Victor bragged and then slid back onto the bed, drawing Yuuri’s hands to his chest. “Hey, Yuuri, hey. Do you wanna kiss gold?”

Chuckling, Yuuri nodded and pressed a chaste kiss to Victor’s lips, only to be tackled onto the mattress, caught in one much deeper.

“Oh my god, Victor, you’re getting glitter everywhere,” Yuuri protested, gold now dusting his own skin, spreading as Victor greedily sucked at his throat and pushed up the fabric of Yuuri’s shirt at the same time, hands transferring glitter along the expanse of Yuuri’s abdomen.

“I wanna make you gold and kiss you all over.” Victor palmed between Yuuri’s legs, tearing a gasp from him.

“Okay, okay, I think we need to get you cleaned up.” Best to logic quickly, before he lost the ability to. Yuuri tugged Victor off the bed and into the bathroom, still shedding glitter.

“You can clean me like a cat,” Victor purred against Yuuri’s ear, leaving more hot kiss marks across his jaw, “with your tongue.”

Groaning, Yuuri moved them closer to the shower, hands slipping as he switched on the water. Making certain the temperature was fine was suddenly an impossible task, when Victor was grinding very intentionally against him, hot and hard.

Turning back, Yuuri fumbled with Victor’s belt, unsure for what purpose he wanted to get his fiancé in the shower anymore. After pushing down Victor’s pants and tight black undergarments, Yuuri froze.

Froze, then began to laugh. He bit his lower lip to try to contain it, but it burst forth the second that Victor shifted forward and the bathroom lights reflected off the glitter.

“V-victor, ohmygod, how did you–” Hand up to cover his mouth, Yuuri couldn’t even bring his eyes up to Victor’s face. “How did you get-… you have… ohmygod.” It was hard to breathe.

“I thought you might like to kiss gold.”

If Yuuri laughed any harder, he might have fallen to the floor. “You-… you have glitter all over your dick.”

Absolutely, positively, completely covered in gold glitter.

“D-did you-…” Yuuri couldn’t even get his questions past his gasps for breath, laughing as he tipped up and kissed Victor’s lips. “You thought I’d wanna-… oh god, Vitya, you’re ridiculous.”

“Is that a no?”

“Get in the shower. I don’t know how much you’d enjoy me kissing gold, but maybe I can suck it for you.”

expressions #2

expressions #1 


lovely, lovely France :

- “nice like a prison’s door” (: nasty) : aimable comme une porte de prison

- “combed like an underarm” (: crazy hair) : coiffé-e comme un dessous-de-bras (normally it’s aisselle : improper french, don’t say that otherwise!)

- “having an oyster’s IQ” : avoir un QI d’huître

- “curling the ridiculous” (: being nearly stupid) : friser le ridicule (no Juliet you’re not stabbing yourself bc of some guy you met yesterday, ça frise le ridicule!)

- “not having invented warm water / the butterwire” (: be dumb) : ne pas avoir inventé l’eau chaude / le fil à couper le beurre

- “not having light at every floor” (: ie be mentally slow) : ne pas avoir la lumière à tous les étages

- “going on the throne” (: at the loo) : aller sur le trône

- “better having them in picture than at the table” (: when someone eats too much) : il vaut mieux l’/les avoir en photo qu’à table

- “it’s smelling like fir trees” (: cf coffin wood, cf age/death) : ça sent le sapin

- “make-uped like a stolen car” (: wearing too much make up) : maquillé-e comme une voiture volée

- cut the bullshit : arrête tes conneries

- “not being worth drips” : ne pas valoir tripette

- “having an awry fart” (: in a bad mood/sick) : avoir un pet de travers

- “have I asked you for the time?” : (est-ce que) je t’ai demandé l’heure?

- “getting called Arthur” (: getting yelled at) : tu vas te faire appeler Arthur si tu continues à faire du bruit alors que j’essaie de travailler!

- “do you want my picture ?” (when someone is starring) : tu veux ma photo?

- “the rubber band is flexed (: slapping awaits) : l’élastique est tendu (+ you put your hand next to your head)

- “it moves one without touching the other” : (I couldn’t care less) : ça m’en touche une sans faire bouger l’autre (those one and other being balls)


food related :

- supple like a bretzel (: not being supple) : souple comme un bretzel

- “discussing the fat’s bit” (: having a chat) : tailler le bout de gras

- “putting the cutlery back” (: going for round 2) : remettre le couvert

- leek (: penis) : poireau (fam, rather gross)

- “yogurt-singing” (: in a language you don’t know) : chanter en yaourt

- “it’s starting to run on my bean” (kinda) (: I’m getting pissed) : ça commence à me courir sur le haricot

- “the mustard is getting higher” (: I’m getting pissed, bc it burns your nose yk) : la moutarde est en train de monter

- “having the peach” (: being in a good mood) : avoir la pêche

- “being soaked as a soup” : être trempé-e comme une soupe

- “taking a peach” (: a punch) : se prendre une pêche

- “bring your strawberry” (: get here) : ramène ta fraise

- “hairy as an egg” (: not) : poilu-e comme un oeuf

- a turnip (: bad movie) : un navet

- “bag of wine” (: drunk) : sac à vin (way to call someone)

- “having the ass trimmed with noddles” (: being very lucky) : avoir le cul bordé de nouilles

- “having the banana” (: being smiley) : avoir la banane

- “turning out a cake” (: having a poo) : démouler un cake

- “mind your onions” : occupe-toi de tes oignons

- “getting toasted” (: taken in the act) : se faire griller

- “having eaten a cemetary” (: bad breath) : avoir bouffé (fam) un cimetière


body related :

- “lying as a tooth puller” : mentir comme un arracheur de dents

- the world’s butthole (: small village) : le trou du cul du monde 

- “having cauliflower ears” (: like rugbymen) : avoir les oreilles en chou-fleur

- “having a Punchinello in the drawer” (: being pregnant) : avoir un Polichinelle dans le tiroir (old)

- “throwing an eye” (: taking a look at) : jeter un oeil

- “the hand in the bag!” (: getting caught) : la main dans le sac

- the English have landed” (: period metaphor) : les Anglais ont débarqué

- “that doesn’t break 3 paws to a duck” (: it’s not amazing/innovating) : ça ne casse pas trois pattes à un canard

- “seeing red” (: v v pissed) : voir rouge

- “that’s walking” (: works for me) : ça marche

- “it’s going to shit square-shaped bubbles” (: there’s going to be a big argument) : ça va chier des bulles carrées

- “best peeing in a violin to stop it for rustying” (: doing stg that’s not going to help) : autant pisser dans un violon pour l’empêcher de rouiller

- “round as a shovel’s tail” (: v drunk) : rond comme une queue de pelle

- “having bathing back’s teeth” (: being drunk) : avoir les dents du fond qui baignent

- “not being out of the brambles/sand/inn” (: being stuck in a situation) : ne pas être sorti-e des ronces (f)/du sable/de l’auberge (f)

- “hurrying one’s ass” : se magner (fam) le cul (fam)

- “having shit in one’s eyes” (: not seeing stg) : avoir de la merde dans les yeux

- “singing like a pan” : chanter comme une casserole

- “flat as a lemon sole / a breadplank” (: no tits no butt) : plate comme une limande / planche à pain

- pussy : chatte (yup, v popular)

- “mind your ass” : occupe-toi de ton cul

- “throwing oneself on sthg like misery on the poors” (: rushing to do sthg) : se jeter sur (quelque chose) comme la misère sur le pauvre monde

- “having horns” (: being cheated on) : avoir des cornes


animal related :

- “you’re done like a rat” (: surrounded, about to get arrested) : tu es fait-e comme un rat (in gangster movies basically)

- “dirty dog” (: nasty, dishonest person) : sale chien-ne

- “yelling as a polecat” : gueuler (fam) comme un putois

- a chicken (: a cop) : un poulet

- “having sea urchins in the pockets/wallet” (: being miserly) : avoir des oursins dans les poches/le portefeuille

- “being a cow’s skin” (: a nasty/annoying person) : être une peau de vache

- gay as a seal : pédé (: fag, not good) comme un phoque

- “being taken for a pigeon” (: being used) : être pris-e pour un-e pigeon-ne

- “having the flea at the ear” (: guessing) : avoir la puce à l’oreille

- “when hens will have teeth” (: never) : quand les poules auront des dents

- “having worms” (: stamping, wriggling) : avoir des vers

- “having fleas” (: when scratching oneself intensely) : avoir des puces

- “going from the rooster to the donkey” (: going from one topic to a completely different one without any reason) : aller du coq à l’âne

- “being a donkey” (: stubborn) : être un âne / une bourrique

- “made like a horse” (: penis metaphor) : monté comme un cheval/étalon

- shark week (: period metaphor) : //

- “being the joke’s turkey” (: being fooled) : être le dindon de la farce


daily life :

- “lightning up someone’s lamp“ (: explain stg) : éclairer la lanterne de quelqu’un

- being a sissy : être une chochotte (ep)

- under the eyes (: in front of) : sous les yeux, ex : j’ai le papier sous les yeux

- under the shower (: in the shower) : sous la douche, ex : va répondre à la porte stp, je suis sous la douche

- “having a white night” (: insomnia) : passer une nuit blanche

- “in the car, Simone” (let’s go) : en voiture, Simone!

- “let’s go Alonzo” : allons-y Alonzo

- “giving a hand’s blow” (: helping, giving a hand) : donner un coup de main

- “wearing the knickers” (: being the one who makes decisions in a couple) : porter la culotte 

- “excuse the few” (: sarcasm, when someone has a lot and still complains) : excuse(z)-moi du peu (oh yes indeed you have three houses and two cars but you do NOT have a boat excusez-moi du peu)

- “I take” (I’d take it, count me in) : je prends, ex : si quelqu’un sait où je peux trouver une carte mémoire de PlayStation 1 pas trop chère, je prends

- “wanting the butter and the cost of the butter” (: wanting everything) : vouloir le beurre et l’argent du beurre (sometimes we also add “et le cul de la crémière” aka and the dairywoman’s ass)

- “taking a jacket/a rake” (: getting rejected) : prendre une veste/un râteau 

- “in fourth speed” (: v v quick) : en quatrième vitesse

- “turning over one’s jacket” (: switching opinion/camp) : retourner sa veste

- “getting in the subject’s brisk” (: adressing the elephant in the room) : entrer dans le vif (normally an adj) du sujet / “not passing by four paths” : ne pas passer par quatre chemins 

- “every road leads to Roma” (: who cares if we get lost) : tous les chemins mènent à Rome

- “going fishing for infos” (: trying to discover what people are gossiping about) : aller à la pêche aux infos

- “at the laddle” (: about, around) : à la louche (also : à peu près / en gros), ex : à la louche je dirais qu’il fait à peu près 1m85 (I’d say he is about 6 feet tall)

- “don’t look for midday at 2pm” (: don’t make things complicated) ne cherche(z) pas midi à quatorze heures

- “there’s no fire” (: no need to hurry) : il n’y a pas le feu 

- “passing a soap” / “getting X’s braces (the clothes) up again” (: tell someone off) : passer un savon / remonter les bretelles à/de

- “at Saint-Glinglin’s day” (: never) : à la Saint Glinglin

- “the four thursday’s week” (: never) : la semaine des quatre jeudi

- “we’re not at nan’s” (: you’re getting too comfy) : on n’est pas chez mémé

Haven Craft’s Beginner Witch Tips, Part Four

Something I’ve noticed about online beginner spells for witches is that a great deal of them involve herbs that are inhaled, drunk as tea or potions, or bathed in. So let’s go over the basics of herbalism as spellcraft.

First off, understand that herbalism is a very, very dangerous thing to dabble in just enough to think you know what you’re doing when you don’t. I’ve had quite a few people into Haven Craft who’ve started exhibiting very dangerous symptoms because their witchy hearthcraft friend recommended this or that for them, and they’re having allergic reactions or medication reactions or because it’s just a dangerous plant to begin with.

My favorite of these so far was someone who was on lobelia, for weight loss, because her friend recommended it. She came in exhibiting symptoms including vomiting, diarrhea, dizziness, constant nausea, and stomach pains. Lobelia is also called puke weed and she was close to the LD50 (lethal dose in fifty percent of the population) in the amounts she was taking.

Her herbalist friend had never bothered to Google the other names by which the plant was known, what medications it interacted with, or what the dangerous warning signs of its use were, because it was “just an herb” and “herbs are safe.”

No, they aren’t safe. 

Even external application can be dangerous. Especially bathing in something, which can give it access to mucous membranes it is absorbed through.

My favorite example of this is hyssop oil. Essential oils can be dangerous anyway, causing chemical burns and photo-sensitivity if they are not diluted properly, but some are dangerous for other reasons. Hyssop is one of them – it can cause people with epilepsy or other neurological conditions, including depression, to experience dizziness, difficulty concentrating, trouble focusing, and even cause seizures. It can be lethal to apply hyssop oil if you have a history of seizures.

And yet it is commonly listed as something to apply to the body to banish negative energies, with no warning. You hope people Google things before using the, you hope people look them up on WebMD, but if they don’t, they may hurt themselves or others severely, because they’re “just plants.”

So is atropa belladonna. It’s “just a plant.”

Ethics of Herbalism, Kitchen Witchery, Etc.

Like all magickal practice, herbal witchcraft requires that you determine your personal ethical stance. My advice is to determine what you are an are not willing to do in the real world – because magick, including herbal magick, is part of the real world and affects the real world. A practical way of looking at it is, “Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do with your own two hands.” For example, if you aren’t willing to physically assault someone who has displeased you, sending a malicious spirit after them probably isn’t for you. If you aren’t willing to roofie someone, love spells to bind a particular person to you romantically and sexually probably aren’t for you.

However, there are some specific lines of ethics that come into play with magickal herbalism, in particular. Please keep in mind that these lines come from my own tradition – I can only advise based on my own work and experience, so these guidelines may not work for you.

Working for Others

I believe an herbalist should always ask someone before you perform magick on their behalf and DEFINITELY before you cause them to ingest any kind of herbal magick. Obtain permission beforehand, even for what you consider “positive” workings. Try to remember that your idea of what’s positive for someone’s life may not be their idea of what’s positive for their life. And that you may have no notion as to someone’s allergies or intolerances. You may think a rose and strawberry potion for self-love is a great idea – until you need to rush for an EpiPen, or until it turns out you didn’t have a full grasp of why someone was struggling with self-love in the first place.

I recommend that you don’t interfere with someone’s free will – don’t presume to know their full desires on any situation, even if they’ve been forthcoming with you. As for not causing someone to ingest something without their knowledge – go back to those real world consequences. What would the real world consequences be for powdering ambien and slipping it into someone’s drink be? What would the real world consequences be for powdering viagra and putting it into someone’s food?

Just ask.

Magick is real. Herbcraft is real – and it has real world consequences, from allergic reactions to possible reactions with someone’s medication, that you might not know they are on.

Anyone you perform herbal magick for should always be advised appropriately of the possible risks and benefits of a particular herbal magick and encouraged to make an informed choice about it.

Confidentiality

When practicing herbalism and herbal magick for someone else – whether you’re making them a potion for household protection or crafting them an herbal spell to help them get over a bad breakup, it is not your place to share their personal business with anyone – not their friends; not their family.

Referrals

Sometimes people approach witches and herbal practitioners for solutions to problems that really require more help than we can give.

For example, when approached regarding a domestically abusive relationship or a stalker ex, an herbal witch can provide magickal protection, but not physical, which may be required. A witch can stop a person from feeding on someone’s energy or using magick to manipulate and control them or to bring them bad luck – but a spell won’t stop a person from assaulting someone or breaking into their house. A person who approaches you for aid in a situation like that really also needs help from the police – you can provide spells of warding, spells to help them feel strong enough to escape from that negative relationship, and spells to calm the anxiety, fear, and depression that probably come along with the situation – but you can’t provide a safe place for them or a protective order, both of which they likely need.

Also, keep in mind that all spells for anxiety, fear, and depression that require ingesting, inhaling, or bathing in something should really be thoroughly checked for whether the herbs work for the kind of struggle they’re going through – is it laconic depression? Chronic depression? Situational depression? Anxiety? PTSD? – and any contraindications for those. For example, chamomile should not be used to treat chronic laconic depression, nor should kola nut be used to treat anxiety, despite both being listed in common herb recommendations for depression and anxiety.

Another example is medical necessity. Herbal magick for depression, anxiety, stress, pain, strain, exhaustion, and etc. can only help so much before someone really needs to seek a mental health professional, physical health professional, or other alternative therapies, like massage, to deal with their difficulties. It is often the responsibility of the practitioner to refer someone to a person who can help them, when magick isn’t enough or isn’t the correct solution. Err on the side of caution – if someone is exhibiting worrying physical or mental symptoms, provide them with what help you ethically can, but please refer them to outside help as well.

It is the practitioner’s responsibility to know their own educational and magickal limitations and to refer out when specialist treatment is required to serve the best interests of the client.

Always double check herbs that are to be ingested, inhaled, or bathed in for contraindications through WebMD, Drugs.com, and Epocrates.

Seeking Medical Help

It is very important to note that there is a difference between using an herb magically and ingesting it. Be safe when using herbs in magic – some that are safe for potions that were never designed for internal use are definitely not to be ingested. Please don’t take anything in a manner that may be potentially harmful to you and please don’t give something to someone else that you aren’t sure of. The proper dosage of herbs for an internal tisane versus a bath tisane is very different – proper research is paramount.  

If you have created an herbal magickal remedy or spell, something ingested or inhaled or bathed in, and either you or the person who is using it begin exhibiting a negative response, such as an allergic reaction, medicine interaction, or increased, rapid heart palpitation or uterine contractions, and etc., be responsible. Contact emergency services, poison control, or your personal physician as soon as possible – seek Quick Care or an Emergency Medical Technician – do not disregard symptoms of something potentially dangerous to yourself or someone else.

Environmental Commitment

It is the responsibility of herbal practitioners to have some awareness of the geographic and cultural origins of the main herbs used in his/her practice. Magickal herbalists should not utilize herbs or herbal products that are derived from any wild species known to be threatened or endangered.

It is the duty of all herbalists to remain cognizant about those herbs that are endangered and threatened and adopt appropriate practices in the harvest and use of those herbs. Magickal herbalists have also a responsibility to train the next generation of herbalists not to promote the use of wildcrafted herbs whose survival is threatened or endangered. Be responsible – keep informed.

Magickal plants that are currently endangered include, but are not limited to, Red Sandalwood, Wood Aloe, Himalayan Mandrake, North American Indian Paintbrush, and Centaury. White Sage is also increasingly endangered.

When collecting and harvesting plants, please be responsible, and avoid endangered species. By the same token, when buying herbs and botanicals, please check your suppliers for ethical conduct. Herbs are big money business these days and money is unfortunately a prime consideration to many pickers and wholesalers – buy ethically sourced, Fair Trade, and non-endangered whenever possible.

Joker Imagine - Quit *song inspired*

Author’s Note: This was requested and the imagine is based on Ariana Grande and Cashmere Cat’s song ‘Quit. I got a few ideas but I think that this one fits the song the best (??).  


Originally posted by 50daysformy-suicide

Your P.O.V.

After spending some quality time in Arkham Asylum for a few months, I was finally free. How did I get there? I was Joker’s girlfriend. I was always by his side on heists blah blah blah and people saw me as the devil. One night Batman saw me outside. I was just taking a walk because I was upset after a fight with J.Long story short, Batman caught me and sent me to the looney bin.

They gave me pills, needles, therapy and a lot of different shit that made me sane. I wasn’t so sure but they trusted me enough to let me go. I didn’t have a place to go nor a job. My family didn’t want to see me but I had a friend who let me stay at her place. So here I was at Kiara’s place in Gotham city. I was supposed to be happy but I wasn’t. Things were so boring.

‘’So um’’ Kiara broke the silence and looked at me. I was sitting on her brown couch. I had been staring out of the window for ten minutes. ‘’Yeah?’’ I faced my friend who was probably a little worried to have me here. ‘’Are you like..100% sane now?’’ She asked me slowly and sat down next to me. She had her brown hair in a ponytail and her green eyes were a little glossy. Had she been crying?

‘’I guess so’’ I shrugged and looked at the paper on the coffee table. It said that I was sane.They also gave back my other belongings such as my phone. It was loading on the floor since I hadn’t used it for a few months. Damn I felt so empty. I knew that something was missing. Why didn’t J come for me?

‘’Do you want to talk about it?’’ Kiara questioned me curiously. I knew she wanted to hear all the details of my crazy life. SHe was probably curious about Joker as well. ‘’Sure, what do you want to know?’’ I sighed but quickly tried to fix my behaviour with a smile. I mean she was the only person who offered to take me in for a while. Even my family hates me.

‘’We met at his club. He saw me and wanted to talk. I had been yelling at a pervert who grabbed my ass. Joker was impressed by my courage and then he shot the guy in the leg’’ I started explaining how my life turned from good to a rollercoaster of violence and chaos, but also love. I knew I wasn’t supposed to think about J like that anymore, but I wasn’t sure what to think. 

‘’He shot someone for you?’’ Kiara gasped. Oh boy she had no idea what he had done for me. If I told her everything, she’d probably get a heartattack. ‘’I guess so. Anyway we went for a ride and I was really scared. Turns out he wasn’t a douche towards everyone and to be honest he was nice. We uh..’’ I stopped in my tracks. How could I just tell her that I willingly jumped into chemicals?

‘’Did you guys have sex?’’ Kiara raised her eyebrow. She seemed a little disgusted of the thought of her best friend fucking a killer clown. ‘’Yes but not that night. He took me to a factory and I kinda jumped into chemicals which is the reason for my weird skin’’ I put my actions into words. I was a little drunk so I didn’t doubt jumping into the bath of acid. Kiara’s green eyes widened and she seemed a little scared.

‘’Jesus Y/N’’ She breathed out and then looked at my skin closely. Just then my phone started ringing. Our eyes met and my heart skipped a beat. ‘’I’ll get it’’ Kiara offered kindly and grabbed my phone. Once she saw the screen she turned pale. I snitched my phone away quickly and my thoughts were confirmed. The caller ID was Mistah J. My hands started trembling now.

‘’Y/N don’t answer him’’ Kiara barked angrily. ‘’He’s just going to take you back and suffocate you. Please don’t’’ She begged as tears stung her eyes. If I picked up, Kiara would hate me. Would I regret it? ‘’Fuck’’ I cursed and then felt how my body was trembling. I wanted to be in his arms but now I had a chance to live a normal life. He was a bad guy but deep inside I knew I liked that.

‘’Y/N i swear to-’’ Kiara started but I was quicker. I answered J and pressed the phone against my ear. Kiara stood up and backed away. ‘’H-Hi?’’ I spoke nervously because it was quiet. Then I heard him ,after months of missing him. ‘’Y/N..daddy misses you. I need you to come home’’ He growled but he didn’t sound angry. My breath hitched in my throat and tears started falling down my face. I hadn’t heard his voice for so long.

A part of me wanted to run to his hideaway and be with him again but another part of me didn’t. I felt more sane than before but just hearing his voice reminded me of all the fun we had. I was so carefree, so happy. ‘’Where are you?’’ J asked me sternly. My heart was beating hard against my chest now. ‘’I..I’m at Kiara’s place’’ I whispered because I knew my voice couldn’t carry. ‘’I’ll be there, Frost tracked the call’’ J promised me. Then the call ended.

What just happened?

‘’Y/N you crazy bastard!’’ Kiara screamed and threw a pillow at me. I dropped my phone and caught the pillow quickly. She was crying wildly in front of me. I felt bad for doing this to her. ‘’Why the fuck would you do that?’’ She sobbed and wiped her tears away. ‘’I didn’t know what to do’’ I defended myself and stood up as well. Kiara backed away from me. She was afraid.

‘’I thought you were sane’’ She admitted. Suddenly my lips curved into a smile. Me sane? I was surprised of my own actions. I giggled while I was crying. Kiara’s mouth was in a ‘O’ shape and she slid down the wall so she was sitting. ‘’You’re crazy’’ She told me. It stung of course, but the truth always hurts.

‘’I know’’ I shrugged and then I felt sad again. Why didn’t J come for me when I was in Arkham? Would I go to that hell hole again? A shiver ran down my spine. I didn’t want to go back. All the pain and the harsh people there was too much. I got a flashback of Arkham. I was surrounded by all these men and they held me down so hard. Then they stuck needles into me. I hated needles. They called me awful things and if I cried, they’d hit me.

‘’No!’’ I screamed and kicked the coffee table. My sane paper flew off and landed on my feet. I grabbed it and tore it into tiny pieces. As I finished ripping the paper, I sat on the couch and cried into my hands. Kiara and I were just crying for a few minutes. She was afraid of me and I was afraid of what would happen. What if J was still mad?

‘’Let’s g-go somewhere’’ Kiara tried to get me out of this while I still had a chance. I looked at her in shock. She still wanted the best for me. Well, what she thought was the best for me. I shook my head no. ‘’You run away, as far as you can. Please just go and don’t come back until tomorrow’’ I told her with my sane part. I knew J could shoot her. ‘’Not without you’’ She shook her head while speaking.

‘’This is my life Kiara, I don’t want you to suffer because of that’’ I let her know a little angrily. But it was too late. I heard gunshots from the hallway of the building and laughter. Kiara looked at me wide eyed. Only a few seconds later I heard a beep. I knew it was a bomb so I jumped towards Kiara and covered her. A second later I felt a heat wave wash across the room and the wall had a hole in it. Luckily we didn’t get hurt.

I heard footsteps coming closer until they stopped right behind us.My heart was beating wildly. I held my breath and turned around on the floor so I was on my back. I almost screamed when I saw him. Joker was standing in front of me in his suit and tie. As our eyes met, his red lips curved into a smile.

‘’Oh my god’’ I breathed out. It felt like my life flew off track. ‘’Is that how you say hello to your boyfriend?’’ He asked me harshly. Kiara’s cries made me look away from J. Her hands were on her head and she didn’t dare to look at J. ‘’Hello? Earth to Y/N’’ J broke the silence and waved his hand in front of my face. I startled and flinched a little bit.

What was wrong with me?

I looked at him again and saw that his smile was gone. He seemed angry and perhaps a little sad as well. Suddenly he pulled me up on my feet and he examined me closely. ‘’What did they do to you?’’ He growled so angrily I swear he was ready to kill someone. My entire body was trembling and tears kept rolling down my face. For a moment he just stared at me in disbelief.

‘’Y/N speak to me’’ He demanded and it made me whimper. ‘’I’m s-sorry J’’ I apologized for my behaviour. I wasn’t myself at the moment. He grabbed his gun and shot the wall, destroying Kiara’s apartment even more. Once again I flinched because of the bang. 

‘’We’re going home and you’ll be just as good as before, no matter what it takes’’ He planned seriously. I bit my lips and nodded. Then finally something happened that I missed so much. J pulled me into his arms and I wrapped my own arms tightly around him. Being in his arms was my home. I felt so safe. He was my heaven but he was also my hell.

‘’Y/N’’ Kiara whimpered. I tilted my head so I could see my friend. She was standing now but I could see how wildly she was shaking. ‘’You don’t want this’’ She tried to ‘save’ me. J’s muscles tensed and he got angry. ‘’Don’t tell her what she wants or what she doesn’t want’’ J hissed to my friend. Then he let go of me and walked closer to Kiara. No no no..

‘’J can we go?’’ I asked him as steadily as I could. Now they both looked at me, making me feel a bit anxious. ‘’It’s either him and a crazy life or me and I’ll help you back to normal’’ Kiara told me. It made J really angry. He was really close to piercing her skull with a bullet. ‘’You think she’d stay with you?’’ J laughed rudely and then ran his hand through his green hair.

I knew that I would pick J but that would mean something bad. I looked at Kiara and tried to mouth ‘sorry’. ‘’J of course I’ll come with you, I can’t quit you’’ I explained honestly. ‘’That’s my girl’’ He purred and pulled me close to his chest with his left arm. Then he raised his right arm. Before I knew why, he pulled the trigger. Kiara fell down onto the floor and blood started pooling around her throat. My lips parted from shock.

‘’It had to be done’’ J told me quietly. I gulped and then nodded. Instead of being such a scaredy cat, I relaxed into his arms. I had him again. The thought that he came for me was comforting me a lot. He still cared about me. ‘’Now let’s go home. There’s wine and joints in bed if you need to relax’’ He whispered into my ear.Although I was sad, angry, happy, tired and everything else at the same time, I smiled.

‘’What about grapesoda?’’ I giggled and wiped away my tears. He was obsessed with that. ‘’Hmm..of course’’ He answered me after a while. ‘’I don’t know what they did to you in that place you were in but I swear everything will be just like before. It’s just you and me in this city. We can torture those who hurt you’’ He promised me with a twist of darkness in his voice. But for me, those were very loving words from him.

Before I could answer him, he pressed his lips against mine. My eyes widened but I kissed him back. Damn I missed those sweet lips of his.

  • <p> <b>Nords in Skyrim:</b> We're not drunken barbarians! We are a sophisticated and noble people who have contributed as much to Imperial politics and culture as the Imperials themselves! And our religion and social institutions predate any other human equivalents by thousands of years!<p/><b>Nords in Cyrodiil (Oblivion):</b> WE'RE ALL DRUNK ALL THE TIME! READING IS FOR POOFTERS! I HAVEN'T TAKEN A BATH IN 9 YEARS! OUR GOD IS A DRAGON OR SOME SHIT, I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER! I'LLL FIGHT YOU RIGHT NOW, I DON'T GIVE A <I>FUCK!</I><p/></p>

This scene comes from my friend’s and my rp group. Basically Finland missed Christmas for some reason, so got drunk to deal with that horrible fact and decided to take a bath in the frozen lake. When he ripped a howl in the layer of ice Sweden decided that it was no good idea to let the drunk Finn swim in cold water while Norway thought of it as rather amusing. (Revennnnnge) After Finland threw a small fit the ice broke and Sweden and Finland fell into the lake. Norway eventually helped them to get out and felt a little guilty that he didn’t help them sooner, so he made them hot chocolate and helped to dry their hair since Finland refused to let Sweden go after the Swede got dry clothing and also refused to go anywhere else than the sofa.
Denmark felt ignored because Norway wasn’t concentrating on him and the last thing Nor told him was that he should go and get some blankets.

Ruined

length: 1,343 words

genre: angst

a/n: wonho has been killing me lately, so that means a scenario lol. This probably sucks compared to other stuff I have written in the past, but I cranked it out quickly after class the other day

Originally posted by wonhontology

You knew it was a bad idea. Going to see Hoseok after things ended between you two the way that they did. But his texts seemed like he just needed a friend, someone to talk to. So you figured there was no harm in it.

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Random Final Fantasy XV headcanons:
  • Gladio sings in the shower-toothbrush microphone and everything
  • Prompto hums a tune in the shower, and will occasionally sing the odd line (hes learn’t not to get too into it as last time he broke out the moves and slipped bringing down the shower curtain with him)
  • Over the 10 years of darkness Ignis memorised all the spices from Lestallum by taste
  • If given the chance Noctis will always bring a rubber chocobo into the bath with him (he has a collection of different types that he shares with Prompto)
  • Arenea always makes it back home for ‘Wine o’clock’ and enjoys having a bottle of red wine beside her in a bubble bath
  • Ardyn goes up to drunk people at night and starts arguments with them quoting ancient poetry that doesn’t exsist anymore then giggles at his own inside joke that no one gets (???) ¬_¬
  • Iris would make daisy chains for Gladio and make him wear them round the Citadel when she was younger
  • When Noctis was younger he once put a whoopie cushion on Regis’ throne before an important meeting. He got in trouble for it but seeing Ignis’ reaction was worth it. *insert Regis sigh here*
  • Cindy has always worn that yellow jacket (it used to be baggy on her as a little kid
  • Cid draws mustaches on anyone he doesn’t like in the newspaper
  • Loki has a slight crush on Cor (Who doesn’t)
  • Lunafreya’s favourite princess is Rapunzel (she relates to her on a personal level) and sometimes likes to go around her room singing the tunes from Tangled. Gentiana likes to hum along
  • Gentiana and Luna enjoy sitting together and sewing cute little outfits for Umbra & Pryna 
  • Ravus has totally tried this:

Originally posted by tobigifs

If anyone is interested I’d be happy to do requests for things like FFXV Photoshop edits, Headcanons, asthetics etc… Any questions just send me a message! I’d love to hear from you :D 


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Dating Dean Winchester Would Include - Part 2

Originally posted by deangifsdaily

Dating Dean Winchester Would Include:

  • Him being very protective over you
  • Pranking Sammy together
  • Being best friends with Cas
  • Trying to make him laugh when he’s mad at you
  • Teasing him about Destiel
  • Him taking the covers when you are sleeping
  • Him using cheesy pick-up lines on you even though you are already dating
  • Taking the Impala to scare him
  • Sex on the Impala
  • Sex in the Impala
  • Shower sex
  • Sweet, gentle sex
  • Just… Lots of sex
  • Him opening up about his past
  • Getting an anti-possession tattoo to match his
  • Training with Dean
  • Him distracting you while you are trying to do research
  • Having an infatuation with his hands
  • Baking pies for Dean
  • Getting drunk together and Sam having to take care of both of you
  • Romantic baths together
  • Movie marathons
  • Annoying Dean when you are bored
  • But he secretly loves it when you try to annoy him
  • Giving each other tight, comforting hugs when either one of you is going through a tough time
  • Loving each other no matter what
joji

(sorry if it’s shitty, it’s my first one shot ever)

joji-italics

reader-bold+italics

 you didn’t know him, and he didn’t know you. you didn’t know what he smelled like after smoking cigarettes and getting drunk, and he didn’t know what you smelled like after a bubble bath and a coffee. no, you didn’t meet at a shopping center Starbucks or a bookstore. you just had to meet him at your job. your shitty, minimum wage job at the camera equipment store.

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