drunk hermione

My brother’s really lame. But Hermione’s pretty cool. I guess I kinda see why she would marry him. Also, if anyone has seen my hoodie I lost it, thanks.
—  Ginny Weasley [giving her Maid of Honor speech at Ron and Hermione’s wedding]

Sorry it’s kind blurry, but all the grey texts are @credence-needs-a-hug go follow her and she’s writing what happens after they stop texting *this is the start of a series*

  • Hermione: I remember when you used to obsess over him at school. We should have known then, really.
  • Draco: You had a crush on me a school. That's embarrassing.
  • Harry: Oh, please. You didn't have a crush on me?
  • Draco: Course but you're the chosen one. That's just hilariously awkward. Awkwardly hilarious.
  • Harry: Are you drunk?
  • Draco: Have you met my husband? He's famous, you know.
  • Hermione: He's drunk.

paansyparkinson  asked:

Theo nott and hermione granger??????? Like seventh year after the war???????

  • so.
  • man.
  • hermione is, like, really tired.
  • like, she’s been fighting the good fight for what feels like a thousand years, right, and she saved the world, she knows that, she’s proud of that, proud of herself and harry and ron and everyone–but it turns out that running for her life and watching people die and dealing with the ensuing emotional fallout is incredibly draining, and she’s just. she’s tired.
  • so, she goes back to hogwarts to finish her education, yes, but also to take a nap.
  • figuratively.
  • literally.
  • she does not have a contingency plan for theodore nott.
  • tall, lanky, quiet theodore nott, who’s always checking out the really complicated books on magical theory, and whose tie is always slightly too loose around his neck, and whose hands are big, and elegant, and surprisingly graceful as he takes meticulously detailed notes in the kind of shorthand that hermione has only dreamed about having the time to develop–
  • theodore nott is sly, and theodore nott is smart, and theodore nott is a slytherin.
  • she sits next to him in ancient runes, and she marvels at his indifference. he barely glances at her. he doesn’t ask her what it was like, or badger her for information about harry, or do anything at all besides solve equations and absently brush the underside of his jaw with the feathered end of his quill.
  • “it’s a bit weird, isn’t it?” she asks him one day, tapping her foot against the leg of her desk. “being back here? with the war over?”
  • he furrows his brow, tongue flicking out to rest on his lower lip as he considers how to respond. “the war,” he says, and then pauses. “it…happened, i suppose.”
  • she blinks.
  • he continues, blandly, “did you get an answer for the last problem set? i figured a zero, but that doesn’t seem right.”
  • she blinks again.
  • her smile, when it finally comes, feels so incredibly light.

ironman-out-keele  asked:

do you ever imagine Harry's hair being too long and keeps getting in the way during potions or something and Hermione gets tired of his grumbling, grabs his head and pins the offending hair with a bobby pin or a hair clip?

Yeah and I also imagine how I suddenly become good at doodling because let’s face it, i’m terrible at it at the moment

primruesabcd  asked:

Prompt! Tomione with: are you?? sabotaging?? my dates?!?!?

Hermione had never been one to date frequently. She didn’t like the process–pick a potential partner, engage in small talk for minutes and hours and days and weeks, small talk mixed with desperate attempts to impress–it was stressful and messy and she just never liked it. She contented herself to a quiet life to herself, with her angry, vicious, but overall loveable cat as the receiver of her affection. 

Then of course, Tom Riddle happened. 

And then it ended.


And somehow when it ended, when he was gone, the time she used to spend comfortably on her own was tainted somehow, thick with a horrible sort of loneliness that made every other relationship she had–friends and colleagues and cats–seem unimportant and useless. She had grown accustomed to spending time with him, even time alone or time unwinding had been with him, reading or cooking or sleeping or working with him, always with him, so that everything she did she was fundamentally lacking because he wasn’t there. She would reach up to the top shelf of her cabinet and he wouldn’t be there to swipe something down for her, condescending not-quite-a-smile on his lips. She would open up Nietzche’s Beyond Good and Evil and he wouldn’t be there at her back or at her side to tear into every word in the novel to try and incite her to a debate. She couldn’t so much as wake up in the morning or brush her teeth or take a shower or go to the grocery store without feeling the absence of him like some stupid lovesick–

So, she dated.

And it was shit.

And he was always there when it all went wrong.

Her first date she met on a dating app, because Harry and Ron had signed her up for three (and it was her opinion that they had much too much fun making those dating profiles for her) and though she had been staunchly against the idea of meeting someone on a dating app, she found that the person she met didn’t seem quite as horrible as she would have expected. His name was Oliver, and he was a bit older than her, and very obsessed with football, but he was also rather lovely. He was polite and fairly well-read, he indulged her in her brief literary rants when she started on them. He was nice.

Neither of them ordered shellfish–he told her at the beginning of the date he was rather fiercely allergic–but that apparently didn’t stop shellfish from making its way onto their plates without their knowing. And that imbecile didn’t carry an epi-pen on him, so Hermione had to rush him to the hospital while his face swelled and he could hardly breathe and she saw him there, at the bar, just sitting there and watching as she dragged her dying date out the door.

Oliver was fine, in the end, but they never went on another date.

Her second date she met at a bus stop which, to be fair, was a rather stupid place to meet a date. He approached her, offered a borderline insulting compliment about her hair, and asked her out for a drink. And Hermione was hungover from a night of drinking alone in her flat where she had drunkenly purchased an extremely expensive, brand new play tower for her cat which he would never use, so she said yes. 

His name was Cormac, and he definitely wasn’t the worst man she had ever met, but he was definitely near the bottom. He was narcissistic, and condescending, but then so was Tom, and she had loved him anyway. So she ignored the little things that annoyed her and tried for once in her life to just have fun and stop wallowing in her self-pity. Besides, she couldn’t expect a perfect date with a bloke she met only a few hours ago at a bus stop.

Then his girlfriend showed up, screaming, drunk, and Hermione didn’t stick around long enough to find out if it was a current girlfriend or ex-girlfriend before the girl tried to start a physical fight with Hermione, at which point Hermione just up and left. She was probably lovely when she wasn’t drunk, Hermione figured, whoever she was. It wasn’t as if Hermione was a perfect human being when she was drunk–she had bought a £250 play tower for her cat about 24 hours ago, after all.

And who should be there when she leaves the pub but him, across the street, waiting at the bus stop, smoking a cigarette. She remembered pausing on the pavement to meet his gaze from across the street, and she wanted to badly to cross traffic and punch him in the sodding face, but when the bus paused in front of him and blocked him from her view, she hurried down the street away from him and got drunk enough to buy cat-wine so she would stop drinking alone.

Her third date she met at a club. Ginny Weasley dragged her to some club in London when Hermione confided in her how many horrendous drunken purchases she had made in the past week with the promise of stopping her if she tried to buy anything else for her bloody cat. And she met a man who called himself Gilderoy. He was older and very handsome, very drunk, and very loud. He kept telling her increasingly ridiculous stories and insisting they were true, and he kissed her like he was licking frosting off of a cake. 

But then there was a fire, apparently, and the entire club was evacuated, and in the freezing cold without the haze of the alcohol and the music his presence was marginally more difficult to endure, and she was cold and tired and angry and drunk and when his freezing fingers slid up under her shirt without even asking she just acted on instinct and elbowed him in the gut. And he, like an overdramatic lunatic, fell to the ground as if she had just stabbed him, and she swore she saw him in the crowd when she pushed through to get away from the blonde bastard writhing on the pavement, she swore she saw him–

So she just left and called an uber and went home and paid some artist on the internet to paint a picture of her cat to hang on the wall because he would probably be dead in a few years and she wanted to remember him, then she drunkenly cried about her dead cat who wasn’t yet dead for a few hours and texted Ginny in the morning to tell her she failed on her promise to be her impulse control.

Her fourth date was a friend of Harry’s boyfriend, his name was Blaise and apparently he was a ‘good match for her’ but Hermione was fairly certain when Harry said that he really just meant ‘you’re both single so just go for it what’s the worst that could happen’ and she agreed because it didn’t matter that it had been months since her break up, she still felt his absence like a hole in her chest, and she figured pointless dates that she didn’t want in the first place were better than sitting in her flat on her own.

But he didn’t show up.

Instead, Tom did. Just sat down in the seat in front of her in the much-too-expensive restaurant as if he belonged there.

“You can’t sit there,” She told him, “I have–”

“He’s not coming.” He answered simply, reaching across the table to pick up her wine glass and take a sip without asking, setting it down and picking up the menu to peer over it without elaborating.

“Why not?” She seethed. 

“Because he’s in the hospital,” He explained slowly, enunciating the words slowly and distractedly, and she was so angry at him she felt like she could reach across the table and throttle him until his face went blue and not feel a shred of guilt. 

The realization felt like a slap in the face.

“Are you–” She choked, her mouth twisting with disbelief, “Sabotaging my dates?”

He slammed the menu back on the table, the false-calm countenance fading away so quickly it was as if it had never been there to begin with the tension of his shoulders coupled with the heat of his eyes both unexpected and familiar, and it was only when she felt the headiness of his gaze that she realized he had not looked at her until that moment. “You shouldn’t be dating.” He said evenly.

“I believe I’m the one with the power to make that decision,” She reminded him viciously, “Not you. We broke up.”

“I never consented to breaking up.” He muttered, leaning back in his seat that was characteristic of him when attempting to appear nonplussed. 

“Never consented–?” She narrowed her eyes, her hands curling into fists in her lap, “You facilitated the break up!” 

“I did no such thing.” He even had the nerve roll his eyes as if she was the one being ridiculous, as if she was the one acting like a child.

“You are always like this,” She seethed, turning her gaze skyward with a bitter laugh, “Controlling and possessive like a petulant child–” His eyes snapped back to meet hers, the corner of his jaw twitching as if he was grinding his teeth, “–Just tell me where Blaise is.” 

“I already told you.” He intoned.

“Which hospital?” She pressed, but she could tell even before she asked it that he had no intention of telling her. She huffed, picked her purse up and made to leave, “Fine, I’ll find him myself–” But before she could manage, he had lurched forward to grab her arm to halt her from leaving.

“There’s no point,” He told her, “It’s not as if he’s in critical condition, he only broke his leg.”

“You mean you broke his leg.” She corrected.

“That is a bold accusation.” He drawled, and she hated how much she had missed that tone, teasing and sarcastic, the tone he used whenever she was right and he wouldn’t admit it. She couldn’t respond right away, just glare furiously at him, until she finally managed to make herself move, to wrench her arm away from his hand and throw enough money on the table to pay for the wine so she could leave.

She made it about ten paces away from the restaurant before he caught up to her again, his long fingers wrapping around her arm. She jerked away immediately, but he held fast this time. “Let go of me!” He maneuvered her to the side, pressing her against the wall to stop her from pulling away. 

“It’s not as if you even want any of these men,” He said quite severely, “I don’t understand why you are so upset–”

“You never understand why I’m upset,” She fired back, “Because you’re an emotionally-stunted–”

“Everything I do makes you upset,” He argued.

“Well then maybe you should stop being such a rotten bastard!” She snapped, “You were the one who caused this. I asked you–I asked you if you saw a future with me and you said no. What the hell am I supposed to do? Just wait around for you to get bored of me like you do everyone else?”

“You’re not everyone else.” 

“I don’t know what that fucking means Tom!” She snapped, “Why can’t you just for once say what you feel instead of counting on me to read between the lines?”

His palms cupped her jaw suddenly, his fingers threading through the hair at the back of her head in a way that was almost painful as he held her still. But he didn’t say anything, he just stared at her in a moment of silence, his lips parted as if ready to speak but instead, he kissed her.

She really shouldn’t have indulged him. She should have pushed him away and maybe punched him for good measure, but she had spent months dreaming about his lips and his tongue and his hands and his everything. Maybe it was a little pathetic that she caved so easily, but all it took was the scrape of his teeth on her bottom lip for her to sigh against his lips, her hands gripping at his back like a lifeline.

His face felt rougher, which was an odd sensation in and of itself. He always kept himself meticulously put together, closely shaved and finely styled. But as he licked into her mouth she could feel the coarseness of his chin against hers. His fingers dug into the back of her head, the length of his body pressed against hers. There was something shockingly tender about the way his thumbs fanned across her cheeks, the way he relaxed his fingers to allow his hands to rest against her throat as his mouth eased away from hers.

She thought she recognized the look in his eyes when he pulled away enough for her to see. She thought she understood when she reached out and felt the coarseness of his cheek against her palm. 

“You told me no.” She reminded him.

“I didn’t mean it.” He said.

“Then why did you say it?” She asked a bit desperately, trying to reconcile the strangely tender way he handled her now with the disregard he had shown her before. His jaw clenched, she saw the twitch in the corner of his jaw and felt it under her palm. She thought that he wouldn’t answer, resigned herself to his silence and weighed her options in her head, whether it was worth it to risk his inevitable disinterest just to have a few more moments with him.

“Nothing good lasts.” He told her finally. Startled, her hand fell from his face ot lay limp on his shoulder. It was the most personal admission she was sure she had ever heard from him.

“You think we’re good?” She asked carefully. His lips twitched downward into what as almost a frown.

“No,” He said, his thumb brushing across the skin under her eye. “I think you’re good.”

“You told me you don’t believe in ‘good.’“ She said quietly. He didn’t answer except for another clench of his jaw.

She took a deep breath. It was filled with the sent of him, a heady reminder of his presence, as if she needed one with him pressed against her. She didn’t think about the fights they had, the inevitable blow up that was their break up, the controlling possessive way he regarded her when it suited him and the tenderness he offered almost as a tool to draw her back in when his control wavered. Instead she thought of how miserable she was without him. She thought of the way he sometimes looked at her like she amazed him, she thought of how easy it was to share her time and space with him. She thought of how desperately she wanted to let go of all the horrible, sad things just to be with him again.

So she let it go. She curled her hand around the back of his neck and kissed him again.

When she pulled away she said, “You’re paying for Blaise’s medical bills.” And in spite of his irritated frown she continued, “And you’re taking me to whatever hospital he’s at so I can be sure he’s alright.”

Begrudgingly, he did as she said. 

Afterward, they went home, and for the first time in months she didn’t feel like a stranger in her own flat.

(He did raise a judgemental eyebrow at the sudden influx in cat toys and may have scoffed at the sight of Crookshanks looking down upon them from the top of his cat tree, but he said nothing.)

New Post:

Amortentia: Drunk History: The Voldemort Wars, Pt II [ AO3 ] | [ ff.net ]

Harry: “Hello, I’m Hermione Granger—”

Hermione: “—and I’m Harry Potter—”

In unison: “And today—”

Lee: [interrupts] “STOP!”

Harry: “What? I’m Harry Granger—”

Hermione: “And I’m Hermione Potter, and today—”

Lee: “For fuck’s sake.”

Harry: “Is it my voice? Is my voice wrong?”

Hermione: [pitching her voice very low] “Hello, I’m Hermione Granger—”

Harry: [in a disturbing falsetto] “—and I’m Harry Potter—”



pairing: draco malfoy x hermione granger

setting: modern, non-magical, ghost au

word count: 700

written for: @hexmionegranger + @slytherdornet halloween challenge + ??? i can’t remember tbh

Draco Malfoy was supposed to be dead.

Hermione remembers the headlines; she remembers the murder investigation, and the black crepe streamers hanging from the ceiling of the school gym, and the piteous tearful wailing that had echoed around the cemetery during his funeral. The entire spectacle had been highly dramatic—god, the number of times she’d heard the word tragedy had to have fulfilled some kind of lifetime quota—and she’d had the great misfortunate of being at the center of it all.



She’d watched him die.

She’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time—the wrong party in the wrong zip code—and she’d been the one to witness his last gasping breath, the gurgling trembling hitch in his voice as he’d whispered, “The flask—Hermione—the flask, it’s—” before he’d fallen permanently silent. The coroner’s autopsy had been inconclusive. The newspapers had suggested an overdose with enough gleeful faux-concern to make her physically ill, and the Malfoys’ publicist had released a short, fairly ominous statement about untimely accidents, and Hermione—she’d compartmentalized her suspicions and her memories and her dreams, and she’d moved on. She’d put it behind her.

Because Draco Malfoy was supposed to be dead.

Which was why it was exceedingly strange that he was currently standing in the middle of her new living room, calm and cool and casual, a smirk on his face and a bottle of Heineken in his hand—like he belonged there. Like he’d been invited.

“Granger,” he greets her, taking a long swig of beer.

She drops her carefully packed U-Haul box full of dishware. “Oh, my god.”

“No,” Malfoy disagrees, “definitely not God.”

She kicks the front door shut and blinks—once, twice, three times, even. He’s still there. “You’re—you died. I saw you.”

He squints at the ceiling fan and then hums. “Must be why I’m here,” he drawls, gesturing around her empty apartment. “Kind of a shithole, isn’t it?”

She stares at him, nonplussed and only vaguely offended. “It’s two blocks from the upper campus library.”

He snorts. “Priorities.”

“There’s a dishwasher, it’s not like I’m—wait, don’t change the subject. You’re dead. How are you—”

He cuts her off with a sigh. “It’s Halloween, Granger.”


So,” he repeats, incredulously, “I’m. You know. A ghost.”

She wrinkles her nose. “I’m hallucinating,” she murmurs, mostly to herself. “This is a fever dream.”

Malfoy drains his beer, head tilted back and Adam’s apple bobbing. “No, it isn’t.”

She purses her lips, crossing and uncrossing her arms. “It is.”

“I’m haunting you,” he retorts. “Keep up.”

“Why are you haunting me—

“Oh, like you’d really be my first choice.”

She flaps her hands, unaccountably stung. “Then what are you doing here?”

He narrows his eyes—just as grey and sharp and mesmerizing as they’d always been—and clears his throat. “You’re the only one who can see me.”

She gapes. “Why?

“Because,” he replies, irritably, “you saw me die. It’s. A rule, or something, how should I know?”

She grimaces. “This is a nightmare.”

He sneers. “For both of us, I assure you.”

“What do you want?

He pauses, gaze settling on her face with an eerie sort of intensity. He’d looked at her like that once before—when her skin had still been tingling and her pulse had still been hammering and the taste of his lips had still been lingering, soft and silky and sweet. He’d rolled his hips like he’d needed the friction and she’d gripped his shoulders like she’d needed the anchor—to the ground, to reality—and his smile, when they’d parted, had been as slow as it was sincere. She’d seen the future, that night, and it had been promising. Beautiful. Until—

“Closure,” he eventually says, tone clipped and a little hoarse. “I want closure.”

She finally steps towards him. “It’s been six months.”



“Did you—have you—” He breaks off. Clenches his jaw. “Did you find the flask? The one I drank from?”

She feels brave, suddenly. “That’s not what you wanted to ask.”

He swallows. “Someone killed me, Granger. Someone killed me, and I need you to figure out who.”


Prompt: Pansy and Hermione get drunk together and make a bet for who will be the one to get drarry together. 

Hermione isn’t much for bets. She’s not very much into drinking either. She usually can’t stand Pansy Parkinson, but somehow all three gets combined when their mutual friends “hates” each other so much they have to go to the same party so they can keep an eye on each other. So Hermione finds herself in someones room, with Pansy and they’re actually holding (a very tipsy) conversation when Pansy makes a bet Hermione knows she can win. She can’t refuse. Getting Harry to kiss Malfoy will be way easier for her than for Parkinson to make Malfoy kiss Harry. So she agrees. 

holeylikeasaint  asked:

Tbh cormac x hermione #35

Pairing: Cormac McLaggen x Hermione Granger

AU: Modern, non-magical AU

Prompt: “You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

“You heard me. Take. It. Off.”

Disbelieving silence rings loud and clear in Hermione’s ears; her cheeks, too, are hot with the force of her blush.

“Excuse me?” Cormac huffs and laughs, grip tightening on the knot of his towel—and water is beading between his collarbones, drops slip-sliding down the flat plane of his chest, magnifying the absolutely ludicrous Loch Ness monster he has tattooed on his lower abdomen. “Look, sweetheart, last night was fun, but…it was last night, yeah? If you want seconds you’ll have to contact my publicist—there was this thing with a Danish princess, like, once, yeah, and now I can’t even swipe right on Tinder without, like, background checks and Presidential pardons and it’s really just—”

“Oh, my God, I didn’t sleep with you last night!”

Cormac pauses and then scoffs.

“Well, why not?”

Hermione stares at him.

“You—are you serious?”

“Don’t make a habit of it, no, but if you’re not here for seconds—”

“Stop calling it that, it’s offensive.”

“To who?” he asks, seemingly genuinely baffled.

She tilts her head back, closes her eyes, and counts to twenty.

“Just—take off the ring, Cormac.”

He shoots her a petulant frown and curls his left hand into a fist.

“What for?”

“You’re not married,” she answers, flatly impatient. “You’ve never been married.”


“There are better, less dishonest ways of keeping your—um—relationships commitment-free. A nameless bedridden wife who no one’s ever even seen before isn’t one of them.”

His frown deepens, but then he’s twisting the ring off and tossing it at her chest, a glimmer of smarmy, self-satisfied amusement flashing across his eyes when it sinks beneath the neckline of her blouse and lands on the seed-pearl bow nestled between the cups of her bra.

“Why do you even care?” he drawls, sounding sulky.

She blinks at him in astonishment, the gold of the wedding band smooth and warm against her skin, and a helpless gurgle of semi-horrified laughter escapes her mouth.

“You—I’m your publicist, Cormac.”

An incomplete list of my favorite multi chapter Dramione fics

What the Room Requires (26) - Hermione chases Draco into the Room of Requirement, and the room forces them to face their fears to find the door

Deadly Nightshade (3) - Hermione’s got a weird medical condition, a day is missing from her memories, and Malfoy keeps talking to her as if he knows her

Eight and Eighth (33) - Eight students return to Hogwarts for their seventh year after the war and Hermione is surprised Draco is one of them

* Silver Eyes (29) - When Death Eaters show up Hermione’s door, someone with bright silver eyes saves her and she becomes obsessed with finding them

** Simply Irresistible (30) - When Ron breaks up with Hermione, Draco gives her a makeover to make her irresistible to Ron, and ends up falling for her 

^ Simply Irrefutable (11) - Sequel to Simply Irresistible, with Dramione children

Witch Lit (1) - Hermione is an undercover romance novelist, and Draco is an undercover Potions master who fall in love in a hurricane

Promise Me Love (36) - Hermione is desperate for money, so she agrees to pretend to be Draco’s girlfriend for 4 months

** One Year, One Life (26) - As part of a Death Eater Rehabilitation Program, Draco has to live with Hermione for a year, and prove to the Wizarding World, and her, that he is capable of being a part of society

** Fate Has it’s Ways (40) - Hermione goes missing and when Draco finds her, he finds out that her entire memory is gone 

11 Things (14) - Hermione has a list of 11 thing she wants to do before her cancer kills her, and Draco tries to help her accomplish them all

Such Astonishing Surprises (1) - Hermione is forced to go to an awful family reunion, which turns into a wonderful ambush of friends

Mending Broken Hearts (7) - After the end of her affair with engaged Draco, Hermione disappears from the wizarding world. Two years later, a random encounter gives Draco and Hermione a second chance at love

Moments In Time (5) - Five moments from Hermione’s life. One with Harry, one with Ron, one with Professor Lupin, one with Oliver Wood and one with Draco

This Curse to Bear (23) - Draco is a Veela and he has to find his mate before his next birthday or he will die, so Hermione helps him

Bring Me to Life (12) - Hermione stops Pansy from jumping off a bridge and finds out that she has a dangerous obsession with Draco. Hermione helps her get over it and falls in love with Draco in the process

Paris Days (32) - Hermione and Draco are partners for a competition to see how well they will survive in the Muggle world of Paris

** The Griffin and the Dragon (22) - After Ron dies in the Horcrux hunt, Hermione throws herself into the work, until Draco Malfoy shows up to ask for her help in finding the remaining Horcruxes and defeating Voldemort

* Love Boat (15) - An invite to Blaise and Daphne’s wedding means Draco will be in the same place as an obsessed Astoria. In an attempt to keep Astoria away, Draco asks his best friend, Hermione, to attend the wedding as his (fake) girlfriend

Body Swap (5) - Dumbledore forces Draco and Harry to switch bodies for a weekend to stop their fighting, and Harry accidentally discovers Hermione and Draco’s secret relationship

Resistance (5) - Hermione knows that she is Draco’s Veela mate, but he won’t accept it. So she comes up with a plan with the help of his parents to make him fall in love with her

* A Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy (25) - Draco loves his son more than anything in the world. So, when his ex-wife, Pansy, plans to take their son away, Draco asks the most unlikely person for help. Hermione must decide whether changing her entire life is worth helping the man she hates unconditionally

Why Draco Should Not be Using Tampons (14) - As Head Boy and Girl, Draco and Hermione have to switch bodies for one week

Morning Shower (2) - shower smut

Gryffindor’s Golden Girl to Slytherin’s Princess (20) - Hermione and Pansy switch houses for a House Unity project, and Draco is determined to protect them 

Wizards of the Caribbean: Time is On Our Side (28) - Draco and Hermione are gathering magic sand for the time turners on a Ministry mission when they suddenly get sent back in time to the 18th century and are forced to become pirates

* Sweet Caroline (42) - Hermione was raped by Lucius Malfoy, and gave birth to her daughter, Caroline. Four years later, she runs into Draco, and he immediately sees the resemblance between the child and himself

Hero of The Heart (4) - Draco gets stabbed while stopping a mugging, and Aurors Harry and Ron arrive at the hospital to talk to him just in time to see him making out with Healer Hermione Granger, his 2 year girlfriend (who they haven’t seen in 4 years)

** Dragon Tamer (17) - Hermione disguises herself as a man to prove she can be a capable dragon tamer, and ends up falling in love with her boss, Draco Malfoy

Skin (4) - Hermione has a ‘fuck the world’ moment and signs up to model naked for an art class, where she discovers Draco attending

Justice (21) - Hermione is dating Draco, but Ron refuses to let it happen and blackmails her into marrying him. Luckily, someone kills him the next day

Of Kings and Queens (26) - Hermione overdoses on drugs and Draco is drowning in debt but luckily they can save each other

Pansy’s Revenge (26) - Pansy tricks Draco and Hermione into signing a marriage contract at 12 years old. Now 18, they are married and forced to learn to love each other 

The Best Thing He Never Had (16) - Hermione gets blackout drunk after Ron dumps her so Draco takes care of her for a week, and they stage a relationship as revenge

Scarlett Dragon (20) - Hermione is a single mother in France when she runs into Draco at a museum, and they start dating

True Colours (16) - When Hermione gets kidnapped off the Hogwarts Express, the Order is desperate to bring her home. Little do they know she is already home in Malfoy Manor 

And We All Fall Down (30) - Draco returns to Hogwarts for 7th year, but spends most of his time drinking or drunk until Hermione interferes and saves him 

Dreamers (1) - Draco and Hermione get paired up to investigate a mysterious sleeping problem on a tropical island, which causes strong hallucinations

Don’t Tell Mum the Babysitter’s Draco (2) - Harry needs a replacement babysitter so he tricks Malfoy into watching all the kids for a night without telling Hermione

** Isolated (48) - To protect Draco from Voldemort, the Order locks him in Hermione’s dorm because no one would ever think to look there

Close to Home Mysteries (2) - When Death Eater and Order figurines hit the market, Draco is determined to find the maker and stop them from portraying him as a Death Eater, and he goes to Hermione for help

A Christmas in Azkaban (9) - Draco and Hermione become friends when she is accidentally left in the prison, and they grow only closer upon their returns to the wizarding world

Afterlife (33) - When Hermione is killed in the final battle, she gets to heaven and finds out that Draco is her new neighbor for all eternity

Merry Christmas Mr. Malfoy (29) - When Hermione discovers that Draco has never had a proper Christmas, she becomes determined to give him one

The Green Girl (22) - Hermione is sorted into Slytherin house, becomes part of the Malfoy family, and works her way up through the Death Eater ranks 

Femme Fatale (26) - Draco Malfoy’s new position as an Auror for the British Ministry throws him head first into a hunt for a serial killer. Working with Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, he sets out to catch the killer as well as entering into a romantic relationship with their other colleague, Hermione Granger

Christmas at Hogwarts (10) - When a huge storm shuts down Hogwarts, everyone is in such a hurry to leave that they forget 6 students; Hermione, Harry, Ron, Draco, Blaise and Theo

* Summer of The Dragon (42) - Hermione spends a summer collecting supplies for Ollivander’s Wands and ends up working with Draco, who is still greatly haunted by his past

** ^ Fighting for The Malfoys (41) - Just as Hermione and Draco’s engagement is announced, a new prophecy is heard, throwing the wizarding world headfirst into a new war 

  • Hermione: Rise and shine!!!
  • Draco: [groaning with a hangover] whyyyyyyyyyyyy...
  • Hermione: Shush you. After what I had to deal with last night, the least you can do is get your arse up.
  • Draco: [mumbling into a pillow] Do I want to know??
  • Hermione: After I cleaned the fries off your face and put you to bed, you said something to me that was pretty dark.... even for you...
  • Draco: Mm. Don't tell me.
  • Hermione: OK, I won't. [pause] I love you, too.