drunk eating grace in the back

Random Starters!

Send one! Change pronouns to suit muse. 

  • “Does your masochism extend to an enjoyment of being put in your place like the little bitch you are?”
  • “I’m going to furiously shit lava onto your phone if you text me another three hundred Japanese emoji.”
  • “What the fuck is swiping left and swiping right? I don’t fucking swipe anything, fuck that subtle shit. If I see it I take it and I don’t give a FUCK who’s looking, it’s mine.“
  • “I was using my Grandma’s computer and the last three searches on google were for the price of rat poison, some quotes on cheep funerals, and what the best dating sites are. Should I be worried about Grandpa?”
  • “Once I get paid that Hello Kitty Assault Rifle is MINE.”
  • “Godzilla must have a dick the size of a Winnebago, but we never get to see it? COME-ON TOHO COMPANY, GIVE US THE BUS SIZED LIZARD DICK”
  • “I am a gift from god himself, a treasure amongst you heathens, and I deserve to be fed as such.”
  • “Some people just, eat onions? Like they’re apples? Like they take a fucking bite out of an onion like it’s nothing? How do you fuck up as a person like that?”
  • “How do you super glue a four generation family tree back to its stump? Asking for a friend. His name is Redwood.”
  • “Nobody invited me out, which is too bad for them because my presence is a grace upon your otherwise lifeless existences.”
  • “You commit so much property damage when you’re drunk we should just call you Hurricane Fuckface.”
  • “You ever see a cake so beautiful you wanna fuck it? That’s how I felt when I ate my first phallic cake.”
  • “Having the flu isn’t an excuse to lay around all day sniffling. You know what would make you feel better? Infecting complete strangers, that’s what. Let’s go bowling!!”
  • “I!! Am not!! A person!! NO!!!”
  • “My friend tried to pull the ‘dick in the box’ joke on me, and then I kicked it. Now he’s in the hospital.”
  • “I tried to fuck an apple pie like in that one movie. It was pretty nice, until the next day when I found out I had a yeast infection.”
  • “Good morning. The cat took a shit in your shoes. Both of them. What do you want for breakfast?”
  • “Eat my food again and I’ll fling you into the sun by your ankles.”
  • “Girl, are you a plasma screen TV? Cause you be MAKING UP MOST OF THE ELECTRICITY BILL. FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS? WHAT’S EVEN PLUGGED IN IN YOUR ROOM?”
  • “You know someone who’s like, sort of ugly, sort of okay looking, but then their personality just pushes it over the edge and they’re just ugly? That’s you.”
  • “Here lies your reputation, in the trash next to the empty bear bottles and a dead raccoon.”
  • “Yeah asshole, reading my diary was EXACTLY the key to mending our relationship.”
  • “Ever since I let you borrow my laptop, Google won’t stop giving me ads for ammonia in bulk and empty storage lots nearby. What exactly were you doing last weekend?”
Just a fool.

anonymous said: Can u do a request were your Harry’s rebound girl?

A/N: First, I want to say that I don’t see Harry using another girl while he’s dating someone. I know he’s not like that. But I’m just writing this for entertainment only and because it was requested :) thank you. Hope you guys enjoy it xx

Harry’s texts are in bold.

Y/N’s texts are in italics.

_________________________________________________________

Seeing you tonight? ;)

Yeah, after I get out from work, if it’s okay with you. xx

Perfect. See you then ;) xx

;) xx

Harry sighed as he pocketed his phone back in his trousers. He warily looked at Hannah, his one year girlfriend, playing with Cookie, her Puddle. Cookie brought the toy back to Hannah and she took it, throwing it away for the eager dog to fetch it.

They’d just had another argument, Hannah and Harry, and she’d decided to ignore him for the night. It’s been like this for the past 6 weeks. Hannah complaining and critizing Harry every time he misses a date, for always being at the studio, for not being there on her when her sister got sick, etc. She knew what she was getting into when they started dating, she knew she’d have to compete with his busy lifestyle. That’s what he kept saying. But the only way he fixed things, was having sex. That’s the only way he knew how.

But this relashionship has taken a toll on Harry. Always waking up with and going to sleep with a headache. He’s surprised he doesn’t have grey hair from stress, yet.

It was just three days ago, that he realized his relashionship was slowly crumbling. He no longer felt…happy. As much as he loved Hannah, he knew he wasn’t going to be good enough for her. And he wanted to be with someone who understood him, who made him feel alive and like a teenager again. It wasn’t like that with Hannah.

He looked one more time at his girlfriend, her blonde hair falling in waves in front of her, smiling weakly when Cookie rolled on the floor wiggling its tail. He swallowed down the guilt trying to come out to eat him, before standing up from the sofa and making his way towards the door. This was not the last time he’d be here, no. He was coming back. To torture himself, probably. He knew what he was doing wasn’t right. He was hurting Hannah, more than ever. “I’m a damn masochist and an asshole.” he murmured under his breath.

“Where are you going?” Hannah asked him, with a hint of bitterness.

Harry tried to fight the urge to roll his eyes. “Out.”

Seconds later, she whispered, “Are you coming back?” 

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silent-of-spirit  asked:

Solas tipsy kiss! :D

Haha you and @leanarutherford asked for this one!

Here we go.

Solas isn’t drunk. He is NOT drunk. He really isn’t. He’s just… he’s had a little more wine than he’s used to. It’s a little stronger than what’s usually offered at Inquisition camps, and maybe he didn’t eat enough dinner as he should have before he started drinking.

He knows better than to accidentally get drunk. He knows better than  to put himself in a position to spill his secrets to her. She doesn’t deserve to have that kind of weight on her shoulders. The fact that she carries the anchor weighs him down enough. She doesn’t need anything else.

So he sits very still. He keeps his back very straight. He holds his wine glass but stops drinking from it, except when he forgets.

He waits until his vhenan stands, moving with such grace that he hasn’t seen since before his uthenera, around the table to pull him to his feet. He stands, certainly not wobbly, and leans against her because he longs to feel her against him, not because he needs the support.

She smirks up at him, not fooled by his too-serious stare. His hands find their way into her hair when he isn’t paying attention, tangling into the long locks that aren’t braided like usual, falling down her back in waves that he wants to fall into.

She hums as his fingers tighten and tug, pulling her head back, exposing her throat to him. He watches her pulse beating in her neck, just under her jaw. It speeds as he holds her still, trapped in his strong arms, arms stronger than the other elvhenan he sees around Skyhold.

She takes a deep breath, breasts heaving against him, and he descends on her with a growl, teeth marking her flesh before his tongue soothes her skin. She gasps, pulling him closer, going almost boneless in his grasp.

His lips find hers, nipping at the soft pink flesh, pulling a groan from deep within her.

“Vhenan?” she breathes, the single word laden with all of her desire, everything she wants him to do to her, every reason she needs them to return to the room that they share.

His mouth captures hers again, his answer evident in the way his hands slip below her waist, capturing her ass and drawing her bodily against him.

To Hell and Back: Part Four

And here is part four. As I said last week, depending on where I get up to with writing, I could possibly up it to twice a week, but the posting schedule remains the same for now. Monday Nights, 5pm AEST.

QUESTION: The other night, while writing, I found myself getting confused with how everything was looking in my head and decided to map out John’s land and house. I drew floor plans and also have an image of Grace’s car that I also have saved. If you’re interested in me posting them, let me know and I can scan them into my computer if you guys want a rough mental image of what I’m seeing. If I’m just being overly weird then…. ignore me.

TW: This part includes violence, slight gore and use of weapons. 

2600+ words of pure SFW fiction. Enjoy!

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FIND A FRIEND IN ME - Part One

I got two prompts that I kinda thought would be awesome to mix together so here are the prompts. I think I might make this a series. Thoughts

Hannah's suffering from Night Terrors and has decided that she'll take some pills to keep her awake, side affects have kicked in and are causing her to lose weight and be sick, she won't tell anyone despite constant, "Are you okay?" 

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