drunk donkey

How to Die like an Ancient Philosopher

Empedocles: leap into a dormant volcano
Protagoras: run into the shore. in a ship.
Socrates: gargle w/ hemlock juice
Plato: either get serenaded TOO HARD or just generally party TOO HARD
Isocrates: go on a crash diet
Diogenes: eat raw octopus, get bitten by a dog, hold your breath indefinitely
Anaxarchus: get pounded w/ a giant mortar and pestle while loling
Xenocrates: trip over a pot
Epicurus: piss bricks
Zeno of Citium: trip, break your toe, hold your breath indefinitely
Chrysippus: get a donkey drunk, laugh at it
Lucretius: chug a love potion and let it do the rest
Hypatia: anger a mob of christians
Boethius: get strangled by your boss

The guys pranking the girls
  • <p> <b>Natsu 'drunk':</b> Lucyyyyyyyy make me purrrrrrrrr<p/><b>Lucy:</b> WTF?!<p/><b>Gajeel 'drunk':</b> *laughs machanically*<p/><b>Levy:</b> *screams*<p/><b>Romeo:</b> *pretends to be unconscious*<p/><b>Wendy:</b> He's dead! *Sky dragon's healing roar*<p/><b>Happy 'drunk':</b> You're a donkey got it a donkey.<p/><b>Carla:</b> Why are you sitting on me?!<p/><b>Jellal 'drunk':</b> *Yells* You will do as I command!<p/><b>Erza:</b> *Yells* I AM NOTHING LIKE THAT!<p/><b>Jellal:</b> I'm sorry...<p/><b>Gray:</b> Sorry I can't do this... She'll love it.<p/><b>Juvia:</b> *crying*<p/><b>Gray:</b> I'm sorry! I'm sorry!<p/><b>Juvia:</b> *crying* Do it!<p/><b>Gray:</b> Fine... I love you Juvia *crying* Hang on Romeo<p/><b>Gray *under his breath*:</b> Why did I agree to this?<p/></p>
MBTI based off of people I know

ENFJ:

  • Pretentious AF
  • Way too adorable
  • The type of person who finds themselves drunk on the bathroom floor asking a random peeing dude what time really is
  • Secretly a hard-core doesn’t-leave-their-room gamer

ENTP:

  • Always slightly angry
  • Reminds you of their intellect about every fifth minute
  • I’ve never met anyone more obsessed with cake and soda.
  • Convinced they have a tumour in their head bc they microwaved one meal, and then managed to fracture said tumour.
  • Humour on fleek

ENFP:

  • Adorable random mess
  • Knows idiotic facts about everything. Seriously, how???
  • Way too honest
  • They look like a dog when their human comes home, whenever they meet people.
  • Hugzzzzz

INFP:

  • *throws a handful of Ritalin at them*
  • The kind of person who spends all night online and ends up convinced that Disney did 9/11.
  • Deep misunderstood artist™
  • They never take compliments to heart. I wish they did.

ISTJ:

  • I write like a drunk donkey with dyslexia, and I know it drives them crazy.
  • They get obsessed with something like I’ve never seen before.
  • I don’t know anyone who values tradition as much as they do
  • Feels bad about not being emotional “enough”

ESTJ:

  • Tells you about every single detail of a certain fabric and doesn’t realise you’ve fallen asleep halfway through their rant.
  • Takes everything you say literally

  • Protip: you should get more than 4 hours of sleep per night.

INTP:

  • I can show you the woooooorld.. Seriously tho, they haven’t left their room in nine days, come out!
  • 100% adorable when they talk about stuff they’re really interested in

  • Surprisingly cuddly

ESTP:

  • Says they like debates, but get mad whenever you have a different opinion than them.
  • Randomly went through my apartment telling me everything I should fix.
  • Note to “my” ESTP: Please don’t snapchat me when you skydive naked.

ISTP:

  • They’re so quiet
  • Wait… Was that two words?? It talked!!
  • Seriously tho, they never talk so I don’t really know much about them.


ISFP:

  • Such art, much adorable
  • They’re just really cute with a sprinkle of inappropriate comments

INTJ:

  • We are so alike, yet so different
  • The type of person read books and scientific studies on how to socialize and flirt.
  • Insists on winning every argument

ENTJ:

  • Please. Stop. Yelling.
  • Thinks the world is going to shit just because of a small little detail
  • Maybe you should try sleeping, i’ve heard that its like kindof important…
  • They just bought a new iphone bc the old one went straight to voicemail, only to realise that they had accidentally put it on “dont disturb”.

ESFJ:

  • Can I have their social skills?
  • Pure sugar
  • Mum™
  • The one who fills your glass of wine without asking if you wanted more

ISFJ:

  • Tnaaaaaw
  • Nom nom, these cookies are amazing
  • Their notes are so organized it looks like art.
  • Can I have another cookie?

ESFP:

  • They kindof scare me.
  • Thinks they know me when they really don’t
  • I would like for once to finish my sentence before they int…..
  • Big warm hugs tho

 

INFJ:

  • They’re the best
  • I love them
  • They’re the smartest person ever
  • I don’t really know any INFJs other than myself tho………..

With this drawing, I want to thank Saint Francis for the miracle he made. Your slave Juan Luis Rubert had some drinks in the bar. On the way back, I was riding a horse and hit my head on a badly planted tree. I fell off the horse and broke two ribs and one leg. On top of everything I was stung by a viper.

However, that moonless night Saint Francis heard my prayers. He sent me my neighbor Geniero, who was passing by on his donkey. He took me to the hospital where I met Dr. Paty and fell in love with her.

Mexico City — December 2013