Imagine James Potter getting wasted and making a bet with Sirius that he can totally transform into his Animagus shape no biggie - and it goes fine but then he’s too drunk to change back and Muggles get confronted with this really drunk deer roaming the streets pursued by a man who can’t stop laughing
“When I was little, every fourth of July, I would stay up pass twelve until everyone is done setting off their fireworks because I was always scared that the someone’s illegal firework will burn down the house, so if it did happen I would be able to wake up my family and get us all out before any tragedies happen.”
(Y/N), where are you?” Your dads’ voice rang through the house, and you
groaned, placing down the book you’d been reading as he approached your room.
knocked on the door. “(Y/N) are you in there?”
is it now?” you called, grumpily.
could hear his chuckle through the door- he’d always found your mood swings
funny. Uncle Remus sometimes said it was because he had been the moodiest of
them all when they were at school. “Come downstairs- your Aunt and Uncle are
gonna be here any second.”
are?” Excitement shot through your veins, and you jumped out of bed. ‘Why
didn’t you say?”
laughed as you flung open the door, one eyebrow arched. He was leaning on the
banister, looking laid-back and relaxed, and you knew the sight would make the
girls from school swoon; they constantly teased you for having a good-looking
don’t I get that kind of excited response?” he asked sulkily, but you could see
the twinkle in his eye that always appeared when the Potters came round- it was
at times like this that your fathers younger self shone through- the laughing,
light-hearted boy in the photographs you’d seen.
rolled your eyes and reached up to ruffle his hair- something you’d done for as
long as you could remember. “Love you really Dad.”
could sense him grinning as you scarpered downstairs to the fireplace.
it turned out, they had just arrived as you entered the living room- all
coughing and wiping off the ash on their clothes.
forget how much I hate flooing.” James grumbled, not noticing you standing in
rolled her eyes. “Oh, enough of this.” she said, pulling out her wand.
“Scourify!” All three of their robes were immediately clean, and James leant
down to kiss her forehead, grinning.
that is why I married you.”
Harry’s disgusted expression, you swooped in quickly to break up the PDA.
During the Cold War Disney films were banned east off the Iron Curtain, Soviet officials didn’t want to taint the Russian people with capitalist pig dog fairytales. Seeing an opportunity in the absence of Disney, in 1985 some Soviet filmmakers decided to create their own version of Bambi. Called “Detstvo Bambi” (Bambi’s Childhood). The film was a combination of both live action animation and real animals. Unfortunately production of the movie was halted when one day three of the four fawns used to film the movie suddenly disappeared.
The day before was the birthday of a man named O. Ivannikov, who spent the day celebrating his birthday by hosting a 24 hour vodka binge with his friend A. Marinovsky. After drinking themselves to near oblivion, the two men began to get hungry, and with few vittles around decided to steal themselves a meal worthy of a king. They broke into the pens holding the fawns and made off into the woods with three of them in tow. Then they slaughtered the small deer and roasted them over an open fire. The next morning, the two hung over men were found passed out, lying amidst a pile of bones and vodka bottles.
News of the men who ate Bambi traveled across the globe, devastating the hearts of children all over the world. For their crimes, Ivannikov and Marinovsky were both sentenced to the labor camps in Siberia. Detstvo Bambi is rated 5.6 out of 10 by IMBD and is not rated by Rotten Tomatoes.
Mr. Wolf, the guest has seemed to arrive. The deer is drunk and dancing with your wife. He stumbles down the stairs, all the creatures stand up and cheer. He raises up his glass to make a toast, he says, “This one goes out to the one I love the most.”
Make her smile, boy. Don’t ever look away. Cos she’ll be the ocean on the darkest of days. Make her smile, boy, in every which damn way.
Don’t be like your old man, who gets stuck in your ways. Make her smile.
“I’m pretty sure Remus doesn’t even know you’re wooing him! To him, you’re probably just another person that loves making small talk and stuffing croissants in his gob!” James replied, voice rising in annoyance.
“B-but I also tip him extremely generously every day!” Sirius said petulantly. “Other small talkers don’t do that! And I constantly compliment him.”
“Telling him the way he rolls his sleeves is fantastic is not complimenting him,” James said, eyes flickering behind Sirius’ shoulders for a second before settling back on his best friend, lip curling slightly in a smirk. “Neither is telling him that he has beautiful, childbearing hips! That’s fucking weird! You’re going to get us thrown out one day.”
“I got nervous, okay? He’s just so beautiful, I get nervous and start blabbering,” Sirius said hopelessly.
“His beauty still isn’t enough reason for you to drag me here everyday,” James complained. “You don’t even like tea!”
“Are you shitting me right now, James? Who cares about fucking tea! Have you seen his face? His hair?” Sirius said earnestly, leaning forward on the table in his excitement to talk about the beauty that was Remus, Saint Curly Hair. “And his eyes, Jesus Christ! You could literally, actually, really drown in those beautiful, brown eyes. I could write sonnets about his stupid smile. I could write essays about the lame jokes he makes an-”
Sirius sputtered to a halt, eyes going impossibly wide when a tomato red Remus walked by their table to go clean the one next to theirs.
Floundering and breathing hard, Sirius looked to James for sympathy and suggestion when he noticed how smug his fucking ex-best friend looked.
“You knew!” he hissed, pointing an accusatory finger at a cackling James. “You fucking douchenozzle! You’re meant to be my best friend!”
Wanting to hurt him somehow and not knowing what to do, Sirius picked up his untouched croissant and lobbed it at a still laughing James. Only, he had the hand-eye coordination of a drunk baby deer trying to ice skate and ended up rocketing the croissant straight at Remus’ flushed face.
“Oh. My. God,” he whispered, his heart beating at an alarming rate as James fell of his chair in his fit of laughter.
Remus froze for a second, staring at the croissant on the floor in shock before clearing his throat noisily and picking it up. “Um, I’ll, um, get you another one,” he told Sirius, looking at his nose instead of meeting his eye.
“Fuck, fuck, I hate you, I fucking hate you so much,” Sirius chanted, planting his face firmly on the cold surface of the table. “Why does this always happen to me?” he whined, just as he heard a plate being placed in front of him.
Remus stood there awkwardly for a second, wringing his hands in nervousness. “It’s fine, you don’t have to be embarrassed,” he said in a rushed tone before pacing away from them.
Sirius glared at James who seemed to be getting a cardiac attack from laughing too hard before noticing a piece of paper beneath his croissant.
He stopped breathing completely as he snatched the paper in his excitement, finding a loopy, messy handwriting scrawled upon it with a number at the bottom.
Call me if you’re interested still. I’ll teach you how I roll my sleeves :) -Remus xx
Sirius grinned, showing the paper to James and pulling out his phone already.
“I’m still burning your friendship bracelet later,” Sirius informed him as he typed a message to Remus.
Xiumin : Naughty and cocky AF drunk. There’s no other way. He makes out with anything and get anything he wants. He would be such a tease. (pls help me)
Luhan : Invicible drunk. This little deer is naturally cute and reserved but when he’s drunk he can do anything. I’m pretty sure that if you dare him to go flirt with a cactus he’ll go to it and doesn’t come back without its number. I SWEAR.
Kris : The “another drink” drunk. When he begin to drink he can’t stop himself. The other members have to drag him out off the club.
Suho : Sleepy drunk. I don’t know, I think he will be next to kris, talking to him and then passes out and smack his head on the bar, snoring while kris just keep on drinking kris doesn’t give a fuck
Lay : Nothing will change. He’s naturally high.
Baekhyun : Friendly drunk, he is all happy and nice with everybody. He introduces himself to anybody and just try to make friends.
Chen : Dancing drunk. He’ll go on the dance floor and stay on it all night making weird dance moves with too much energy.
Chanyeol : Overreacting and loud drunk. You know he’s loud and stuff. But drunk, you can’t stop him. He laughs for nothing and shouts instead of talking.
He would also go dance with Chen, grinding on as many strangers as he can.
Tao : Sad drunk. He’s so fragile, 2 shots and he begin to wipe and talks about his problems and feelings to the first person he sees, hugging him/her while crying like a baby.
D.O : Fight anything drunk. You know this kid can be terrifying. But when he’s drunk he hits anyone that looks at him in a way he doesn’t like.
Kai : I think he would be the one who cheers kyungsoo when he’s beating another guy ass. He would also be dumb AF…. Or naughty… Idk
Sehun : Sassy drunk. The type who judges anybody.
This girl can’t do booty shake ? Sehun would sigh while rolling his eyes and get up to show her he can do better. but fails miserably by tripping on his own feet
@jillianmichaels has posted this fun challenge just two hours ago on her Instagram so I had to give it a try. It looks easier than it is 😂 I felt like a drunk new born deer.
#ChallengeMoveMonday #zuzkalight #exercise #fun #fitness