drunk at school

anonymous asked:

can u do a haikyuu teachers au??

Oikawa Tooru

  • the Spanish teacher
  • talks with a Spanish accent 24/7 even if he’s not actually Spanish
  • flirts with every single male teacher
  • prides himself to be the school fashion icon
  • winks all the time
  • knows all the school gossips
  • “Is he gay or European?“

Iwaizumi Hajime

  • the history teacher
  • thinks he’s friend with all his students
  • gives his lessons while sitting on the desk
  • he takes a student failing his subject as a personal defeat
  • “Those who do not know history’s mistakes are doomed to repeat them”
  • every male student’s icon
  • very emotional

Tsukishima Kei

  • the math teacher
  • “Now remember, if you multiply a number by zero, the result will always be zero which is, unironically, the number of fucks I give about you”
  • never bothered to learn his students’ names
  • gets offended when corrected
  • gives a lot of homework 
  • enjoys giving bad grades
  • “ahahahahah right, as if”

Sugawara Koushi

  • the art teacher
  • looks like an angel
  • is actually the devil personified
  • gives surprise quizzes on last year’s program
  • tired™
  • loves his students very much but he doesn’t show
  • “You don’t have to worry about the test, it’s easy for people who actually studied :)”

Kuroo Tetsurou

  • the science teacher
  • wears the lab coat with rolled up sleeves
  • “No, I’m not teaching you how to make crystal meth. The chemistry course is next year.”
  • gets drunk with his students during school trips
  • gives free condoms
  • everyone thinks he’s the coolest
  • he’s not

Akashi Keiji

  • the English teacher
  • so fluent everyone wonders if he’s a native speaker
  • he purposefully adds fuel to the mystery every day
  • points out during class if a student has a love bite
  • weirdly into Oscar Wilde
  • “It’s fine if you don’t pay attention to me, as long as you don’t disturb the class”
  • “I’m getting my revenge when I’ll grade your test anyway"

Bokuto Koutarou

  • the physical ed teacher
  • calls his students “monkeys”
  • “there’s no such thing as bad weather"
  • his warm up consists of 100 laps around the school building
  • personally challenges every single student in every single sport
  • sulks when someone beats him
  • gives surprisingly deep life lessons

But why are the aliens always such…. Pushovers? I mean. Everything I’ve seen so far is like, “oh, that is what human Sarah does that’s cool even though it’s 100% against my very instincts.”

Just… Gimme some “Human Sarah while you are on my ship bearing your teeth and “hugging” are both prohibited. I understand you do this to show joy, but you could cause the Rythverians on the ship to eat their offspring and vomit out their spleens. Please be respectful of your crew members’ different races.“

Or

"Oh, I see. So by tapping my nails on the table when I’m bored it causes your alien brain to completely shut down? Kind of like that time I got way too drunk at a high school party and woke up in a tree?” Human Jack looked at Vropne with big curious doe eyes.

“In lamens terms, yes, I suppose. But please stop referring to me as an alien. I’m a Sytrian and you are on MY home planet.”

…..

I mean…just… Idk

Edit: also…. Why do all the aliens have to have tentacles? Why?