"You're a genius billionaire and I'm just a kindergarten teacher and we're secretly dating until you showed up at my classroom out of the blue one day because one of my student wants to meet you and I can't believe you'd show up drunk" AU
But why are the aliens always such…. Pushovers? I mean. Everything I’ve seen so far is like, “oh, that is what human Sarah does that’s cool even though it’s 100% against my very instincts.”
Just… Gimme some “Human Sarah while you are on my ship bearing your teeth and “hugging” are both prohibited. I understand you do this to show joy, but you could cause the Rythverians on the ship to eat their offspring and vomit out their spleens. Please be respectful of your crew members’ different races.“
"Oh, I see. So by tapping my nails on the table when I’m bored it causes your alien brain to completely shut down? Kind of like that time I got way too drunk at a high school party and woke up in a tree?” Human Jack looked at Vropne with big curious doe eyes.
“In lamens terms, yes, I suppose. But please stop referring to me as an alien. I’m a Sytrian and you are on MY home planet.”
I mean…just… Idk
Edit: also…. Why do all the aliens have to have tentacles? Why?