drunk alex is drunk

  • Alex: THE FLOOR IS-
  • All of floor nineteen: *jump onto nearest couch/chair/table*
  • Alex: -loving me.
  • Magnus: *falls from seat onto the floor*
Drunk Supercorp pt.2
  • Kara: I'm drunk
  • Alex: yeah that's obvious
  • Kara to Lena: on your love
  • Lena: *drunkenly swoons*
  • Maggie: keep going Kara your doing great *maggie continues to video tape the whole thing*
  • Alex: don't encourage them
  • Lena: Kara I know it is night but it is bwight cause you light up my life
  • Alex: that was worse than the last one, it doesn't even make sense
  • Lena: uhhah it so does make sense.
  • Maggie: *cackling while video taping behind them*
i have a Headcanon

college au hamilton:

peggy: never have I ever… had sex with alexander hamilton
*everyone in the room takes a shot*

  • Alex: *frantically knocking on Lena's door* OPEN UP, LUTHOR!
  • Lena: What the Hell, Alex? It's 2:30 in the morning
  • Alex: I believe this *hands over Kara* belongs to you
  • Lena: What happened to her?
  • Alex: She drank one too many of M'gann's new cockt-
  • Kara: *crying* No...no... *hiccups* I didn't have any cock. I love Lena too much
  • Alex: *rolls eyes* I know, Kara. Get inside.
  • Kara: *sobbing* But I didn't have any cock
  • Lena: This is going to make for an interesting night. I got her from here, Alex. Thanks for bringing her home.
  • Alex: No problem. *walking away* See you tomorrow, sis.
  • Kara: *screaming* BUT I DONT EVEN LIKE COCK!!
#sanversweek day 3: “you’re drunk”

“Hey, Khara!”

Kara looks down at her phone for a second, suspicious. The phone says it’s Maggie calling, but Kara’s never heard Maggie’s voice sound like this before.


“Kkhhara! Hey! The sister of my – my Alex’s sister! The sister of my Alex!”

Kara lets out a deep breath. “Hoo boy.” Maggie’s drunk. Maggie’s shitfaced. Maggie’s shitfaced and Alex is out of town and Maggie called Kara.

And Maggie and Alex have been together for a while now, and things have been a lot better between Maggie and Kara since Alex was kidnapped, but they don’t exactly hang out without Alex. They can chill in the living room together while Alex runs around the corner to pick up dinner or whatever, but that’s pretty much it.

But Maggie’s shitfaced and Alex is out of town and out of all the people in city Maggie could have called, she called Kara.

So Kara gets Winn to track Maggie’s phone, because Maggie keeps accidentally hanging up on her out of excitement to be on the phone with “the sister of my Alex,” and so she finds herself standing outside a sports bar in a part of town she rarely goes to.

And she elbows her way inside and has to use her x-ray vision to find Maggie because she’s smashed up against the bar, surrounded by tall men yelling at TV screens.

“Kkhara!!” Maggie’s face practically splits into pieces from the force of her grin, dimples threatening to tunnel down into her gums, and Kara understands the power this woman has over her sister. That smile, honestly. “How’d you know I was here!?” Maggie is just thrilled with this turn of events, and she’s completely off her face but so happy that Kara can’t help but grin.

“I came to take you home, slugger. You’re a little drunk.” Kara reaches out a hand, but Maggie instead propels her entire body into motion, throwing an arm around Kara’s shoulders and pulling her into the bar. The force of it would have knocked most humans down, and Kara spares a moment to be grateful that her sister is so physically strong.

“No! Khhhara! You gotta stay, we gotta watch, I’m magic, I’m helping!” Maggie gestures with her other hand to the TVs which seem to be showing a hockey game.

“You’re watching the hockey game?” Kara’s confused – Maggie’s never mentioned hockey before.

“Yeah! But you gotta take a shot every time they fight, okay, super Kara?”

Kara pinches the bridge of her nose. “Hoo boy,” she says again. That’s a lot of shots.

“How about you take shots of water for the next few?” She offers.

Maggie blinks at her a few times, face serious, before she cracks another huge grin. “THE SISTER OF MY ALEX IS A BABY GENIUS,” she crows, waving her arms dramatically to make sure the whole bar knows.

She gets literally everyone in the entire bar to take a shot of water for the next fight, which Kara’s sure the bartenders are thrilled about, and she clinks with all the people around her, and makes them all cheers “to hydration.”

She’s fucking hilarious. Kara’s filled her phone with photos and videos, and she sneaks Maggie’s (inputting her sister’s birthday as Maggie’s lock code, because this woman is so fucking smitten it’s ridiculous) to take more footage.

By the end of the game, Maggie has transferred herself entirely onto Kara’s back, holding on like a koala. And she’s so happy, and she won’t stop yelling into Kara’s ear about how much she loves Alex, and how much Alex would love shots of water because Alex is a doctor and doctors love hydrating, and how much of her body is water, and how much she loves Alex, and how being smart must be genetic in the Danvers family, and how she knows they aren’t genetic-ed together because of the big ole secret she can’t say (Kara shoves another shot of water in her mouth there), and how much she loves Alex.

And Maggie makes Kara walk her all around the bar like a victory lap and she shakes hands with every single person in there, and calls them all “my dude” and she tells them all “I know you love me but I’m a lesbian for my Alex and this horse is her sister” and Kara is so glad to see that not one of them seems to even blink at that information.

Kara doesn’t get her out of the bar until about twenty minutes after the victory lap ends because Maggie remembered she had pictures of Alex on her phone and wanted to show them to everyone because “my Alex is the most beautiful doctor of aliens in the multiverse, my dudes.”

But finally they’re outside on the sidewalk, Maggie still piggybacked on Kara.

Kara considers her options, and figures it can’t hurt.

She trots to a nearby alley and transfers Maggie from her back to her front, tucking her firmly underneath one arm.

“What are you doing, my horse of Alex? Where are you – OH MY GO—WHOOOOOOAAAAAA!” They lift off, Kara going slowly at first in case Maggie is going to freak out or get squirmy.

But Maggie’s eyes just get super wide and she whoops and she is clearly so fucking delighted. Kara flies her home the long way, detouring over the ocean and doing a couple loops because she’s never seen Maggie so happy, so light, so childish, so thrilled.

When Kara touches them down inside Maggie’s living room, Maggie looks up at her, eyes glassy with happiness. “Can we do that again with my Alex?”

Maggie wakes up to one of the worst headaches she’s ever had.

She groans, and it takes her nearly ten minutes to screw up the courage to open her eyes.

She rolls over – so slowly – and grabs her phone off her nightstand. She can’t believe she remembered to plug it in. She must have been off her fucking face last night – she can barely remember a thing.

Her face screws up in confusion – she has like a million texts in the group message with Kara, Winn, James, and Alex. She scrolls through them, realizing that they’re photos and videos from Kara documenting her whole night.

This is monumentally embarrassing.

Alex clearly woke up earlier, and has already flooded Maggie with loving texts, admiring her shots technique and confirming her medical approval of “water shots.” Alex says that she loves her and that she’ll be home tonight and she’s ordered a pizza to be delivered at 12:30pm to get Maggie through her hangover.

She’s the perfect woman.

Maggie has one more text, this one from Kara.

i had the BEST time last night, my dude. can’t wait for the next hockey game. xox -the sister/horse of your alex.

Watch on thefederalistfreestyle.tumblr.com

Lin-Manuel Miranda Leaves the Best Drunk Voicemail in ‘Drunk History’ Deleted Scene (ET) [x x]:

Have you ever imagined what a drunken voicemail from Lin-Manuel Miranda would sound like? No. Just me?! OK, well, we have thought about it over here at ET and luckily, Drunk History gives us a taste of what that would be like in a deleted scene from season four.

In the clip, the Hamilton creator brings his rap game to the Comedy Central series when he calls musical director Alex Lacamoire. “Lock up your horses and daughters, I’m getting f**ked up on the couch with [creator] Derek Waters,” Miranda raps in a bleep-heavy freestyle.


In addition to this deleted scene, there are more outtakes and extended drunk narrator moments on the home release of Drunk History: Season 4, which is available on DVD March 14.

  • *Loud crash*
  • Alex: *jumps out of bed* Maggie! Did you hear that?
  • Maggie: *grabs her weapon from the bedside table* IF ANYONE IS THERE, I AM AN NCPD DETECTIVE AND I WILL SHOOT!
  • Kara: *stumbles into the room drunk and turns on light* shhhh it's just me
  • Alex: Jesus Christ, Kara. Maggie could've shot you.
  • Kara: Well, I am impenetrable and Maggie has a vibrator in her hand.
  • Maggie: Fuck!
  • Alex: *swats Maggie* I told you not to put your gun in the drawer next to that thing!

Catch them all at AO3

Day 3: “You’re drunk”

Winn Schott Jr.’s best memories came after Kara and Alex Danvers adopted him into their family. Getting over his feelings for Kara had been hard, but it was worth it to have them at his back.

Even before he knew about the DEO and Alex was just Dr. Alex Danvers, mad scientist, who took great pleasure in detailing all the ways a genius biomedical engineer could destroy him, he knew all he had to do was call.

That didn’t stop her from being extra terrifying when he found out she had a gun.

And combat training.

No, Winn was sure that there were few things born of this earth scarier than Alex Danvers.

That made her both an excellent big sister, like when all the stuff with Lyra and the art heist went down, and a horrible one because she went out of her way to scare him at every opportunity. He mostly knew she was joking, but still, he did not want to find out what she could do with that finger.

He had a feeling Maggie got all the fun tricks.

Alex teased and poked and scared him out of love, she was never truly malicious, even if he did sometimes wonder how deep that sadist streak went.

And most of the time he rolled with it, all the stories he’d been told by other kids growing up made her stealing his beer or talking extra loudly when he had a hangover seem like perfectly normal sibling behavior.

What was also perfectly normal sibling behavior?

Recording drunken older sibling shenanigans.

“Offisher, don’ get me wrong. You’re like, a goddess. But I hav’a girfrien’ an’ she’s so pretty an’ she smells so nice an’ I love her even if she likes that weird vegan ice cream-”

Because Alex was white-girl-wasted for the first time that Winn had ever seen her, hanging on Maggie, who’d had maybe two beers the entire night.

Maggie, who was grinning up at the agent with the dopey smile and just letting her talk.

Who had winked at Winn when she noticed his phone up and recording.

“You kinda look like her, only taller.”

“Is that so, Danvers?”

“Mmmhmm yeah, she just kinda fits, you know?”

“That’s good to hear.”

“Yeah an’ like, don’t tell Winn, cuz I hava ret- res- I have a repudation an’ all, but sometimes I’m the li’l spoon an’ it’s so nice, you know? Like she’s so li’l but strong, an’ I jus’ feel so safe.”

“I’m sure you make her feel the same, Danvers.”

“I hope so. She’s my firs’, you know? Made me realize I like the ladies, like those dimples, jus’ couldn’t stop thinkin’ about ‘em, ‘til I realized holy shit 10/10 would bang but also really wanna jus’ cuddle an’ talk an’ use her boobs as a pillow, ya know?”

Maggie choked on her beer, “Oh wow, Danvers you might-”

“An’ like, I love her so much, like, her eyes are so pretty, I can see galleries- no tha’s not- gall- I see the stars in ‘em. An’ like, forever an’ stuff. And I see esplosions when she does that thing with her ton-”

“Ooooookay, Danvers, you’re drunk and it’s time to get you home.”

There would be some editing done to the video, for sure. Right after Winn got drunk enough to forget the image his sister had just put in his mind.

“I can’ go home with you, I gotsta go with Maggie, she’s my girlfriend.”

“Danvers, I am Maggie.”

Alex paused her rambling to squint and lean millimeters from Maggie’s face. She stared long and hard, before dropping her eyes to Maggie’s lips. And then further, to leer down Maggie’s shirt. “Woooow, I have good taste.”

If he had to make a thousand backups and give at least thirty of them to Lena Luthor to hide, Winn was never deleting this video. The pain would be totally be worth the look on Alex’s face when she got to see the playback at her wedding reception.

Winn had $50 riding on it happening this year.

He made a mental note to switch to the better health plan during open enrollment.

You’re Drunk

So, I wrote this prompt for day 3 of sanvers week before I committed to my smut every day idea, and I liked this enough to want to post it as well. It probably won’t go on AO3, but it’s on here at least.


@404artnotfound​ voluntarily beta’s my bullshit and therefore she is better than all of us.

@queercapwriting​ I saw u talking about angst, does this count? Playful angst…? In a college AU???? Listen I tried.

“No, Kara.”


“I’m hanging up now. I have to study.”

“But it won’t be fun if I go alone!”

“You said Lena was going! Go and have fun with her!”

Kara huffs petulantly down the phone line, farewelling her sister begrudgingly before hanging up. Alex rolls her eyes. Some frat party on the other side of campus is pretty much the last thing on the list of things Alex wanted to do with her free time. Anyway, finals week is approaching up and she wouldn’t be allowed a second of fun without the gravity of her mother’s disapproval weighing on her mind.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I really want an angsty fic where Alex gets fed up with Maggie's constant flirting when SHES the one that turned her down. J'onn makes Maggie drop Alex off at home and she tries to give her a glass of water and take care of her, but Alex can't take it when Maggie WONT leave and the glass shatters in her hand but she doesn't even notice because she's livid, livid that Maggie keeps reopening the wound with flirting and constant reminders that "we're FRIENDS Danvers" so, Alex tells her all of this

She rejected her.

She rejected her because she doesn’t like her like that, but she still wants pool tomorrow night.

She rejected her because she doesn’t want her, and it hurts more than it did the first time she got shot without a vest on, but she still wants to flirt and she still wants to touch the small of her back and she still wants to smile at her and melt her from the inside out and she still wants to let Alex catch her staring at her lips over her beer bottle, over her shot glass.

She rejected her, but she still wants to flirt with her, all the while saying they’re friends, friends, friends – looking at her like she wants to strip her then and there, talking to her like she’s about to kiss her, touching her gentle and subtle like they’re dating, laughing too loud and leaning too close but they’re friends, friends, friends – and it’s driving Alex out of her mind.

It’s driving Alex out of her mind because goddamn does she want her.

She wants her, but Maggie made it clear – too clear, painfully clear, clear like a shard of glass driving into her heart and twisting, twisting, twisting – that she doesn’t want her back.

But she’s driving Alex home because J’onn had to head back to the DEO and he trusts this woman with his daughter – trusts her, because he understands much more than Alex does, the real reasons Maggie rejected her. 

Protectiveness. Care. 

Genuine desire buried under genuine fear of causing Alex pain.

“I don’t need your help, Maggie,” Alex slurs slightly, and Maggie furrows her brow at the frustration, the anger, breaking through the surface of Alex’s words.

“It’s no problem, Danvers. What are friends for?” Maggie asks, and Alex rolls her eyes but slumps against the window of the passenger seat, because at least the glass is cool, unlike her body, burning with alcohol, with rage, with confusion, with raw, desperate want.

When she helps her out of the car and into the elevator, Alex hisses because Maggie’s arm around her waist makes her feel safe, loved, wanted.

Which, apparently, she’s not. Wanted.

But she thinks she hears Maggie’s breath hitch at their contact, and it makes her want to scream.

She holds it in until they’re in her apartment, until she tries to leave Maggie at the doorway.

“Alex, you’re really trashed. Please, just let me get you a glass of water, okay?”

Alex huffs and she staggers toward the couch, tossing her hands out behind her aggressively.

“Sure. Do whatever you want, Maggie. It’s what you do anyway, isn’t it?”

Maggie furrows her brow and she flinches like she’s been smacked, but she purses her lips and grabs a glass from the cabinet, filling it in the sink while she watches Alex with careful, scared, sad eyes.

“Here sweetie,” she murmurs absently as she crosses the room and presses the glass into Alex’s hand. “Drink all of it.”

Her voice is warm and her touch is tender and her eyes are so damn loving.

And Alex can’t take it. 

She lets the glass slip from her grasp, crash to the floor, because she’s broken glasses in her hand before, and she’s not in the mood to clean up that kind of mess.

“Whoa Danvers,” Maggie pushes her back gently so none of the shards get on her feet, and it’s that instinctive act of concern, that genuine movement of love, is what breaks Alex.

What lets how livid she is flow out of her body, out of her lips, and straight into Maggie’s skin.

“No! No, you don’t get to be protective of me, Maggie.”

“Alex, what – we’re friends, Alex, what – “

“No, Maggie. We’re not friends. You keep saying that, saying we’re friends, but Maggie, but you damn sure don’t act like it. You’re always flirting and you’re always looking at me like you want me, so what is it, Maggie? Is it the thrill of keeping me wild about you? Flirt with me constantly, even after you rejected me, made it clear that you don’t want me, to make sure I stay hopeful, stay completely yours? Is that what it is, Maggie? Because if it’s not, I don’t know what – “ 

She staggers and she stumbles and Maggie doesn’t hesitate to catch her.

Alex shirks out of her grasp.

“Well?” she demands.

“You’re wrong, Alex.” Her voice is soft and her voice is terrified. Her voice is strained and her voice is firm. “You’re wrong about why I said we shouldn’t be together. You’re wrong. You’re wrong about thinking I don’t want you. Because I do. Want you.”

Alex’s breath hitches and Maggie’s pupils dilate and tears threaten to stain Alex’s cheeks. 

“But that’s not something we’re gonna discuss while you’re drunk. You know what we’re gonna discuss right now?”

Alex can’t speak – can barely breathe – so she shakes her head, her eyes wide, open. 

Anger vanished. 

Humility and hope in its place.

“What are we gonna discuss right now?” she asks, her voice apologetic, her eyes soft.

Maggie smiles gently. 

“We’re gonna discuss where your pajamas are, so you can get changed. And we’re gonna discuss where your toothbrush is, so you can brush your teeth. And we’re gonna negotiate how many glasses of water you’re gonna drink before you go to sleep.”

“And then?” Alex asks, licking her lips, her eyes drifting down to Maggie’s lips.

Maggie shakes her head. “And then you’re gonna point me in the direction of an extra blanket, and I’m gonna curl up on the couch while you sleep in your bed. And if you wake up and need to vomit, you’re gonna wake me so I can help you. And either way, in the morning, I’m gonna take care of you if you’re hungover, and if you’re not, we’ll talk. Okay?”

“Do you always have everything planned out like this, Sawyer?” 

“You gonna tell me a soldier like you doesn’t appreciate it, Danvers?”

Alex grins, now, appreciating the flirtation, now, because maybe, just maybe, Maggie flirts because she likes her back.