drum major

Things that have actually happened in band

A drummer climbed into the ceiling in the band hall and then fell through it

A flute player left their flute at home when we were at a FAR away game, so they had to march and pretend to play a ‘flute’ that was actually a drumstick

We played Seven Nation Army as a warm up before a concert contest and then got three points added for creative warm up

Our band director duct taped our drumline captain’s legs together for yelling cuss words

A saxophone player slept in the storage area inside the bus on the way to a football game

Our entire drumline fell in a domino-like way due to a passing cat at the front of the line

When the band came to attention at a marching competition, a slide from a trombone went flying across the field because it wasn’t locked

The Marching Instruments as Awkward Senior Portraits

piccolo:  the shell-shocked (couldn’t hear the photographer count down over ringing in their ears)

flutes:  the i’m-trying-too-hard

clarinets:  the pikachu

bass clarinets:  the “maybe now you’ll remember i exist, fuckers”

any of the saxophones: the sex god

trumpets:  the “hot shit”

mellophones:  the cat photo

trombones:  the i-forgot-about-senior-portraits-until-the-day-they-were-due-to-the-yearbook-so-i-had-my-friend-take-this-outside-five-minutes-ago

euphoniums/baritones/tubas:  the what-the-fuck

pit percussion:  the my-instrument-is-my-child pose

drum line:  the casually-holding-a -deadly-weapon

color guard:  the dance costume

drum major: the ruler of all things music


“Band, ready, set”
You’ve been called to attention. It’s 102 degrees outside, you haven’t had a water break in what seems like hours, and you’re sweating buckets. You know you’re not allowed to move or else you’ll have to run a lap. What… what’s that feeling… it’s… your glasses…. they’re sliding down your nose… either you fix them and run a lap (and die of heat exhaustion) or you let them fall to their death… those are your only two options… right?

“Well Gee wiz what other choice do I have?”

I’ll tell ya. There’s this stuff called Nerd Wax. It’s made out of beeswax and it’s the bomb diggity. Just smear a little of the stuff on the inside of the bridge of your glasses, put your glasses on and voila! They don’t fall! It’s sweat resistant, so it would keep your glasses in place even if you were marching through the hottest pits of hell.

“But I don’t want beeswax all over my fingers because then it’d get on my instrument.”
Well I’m glad you don’t want that because you’re not gonna get that. It comes in a little tube just like cork grease or chap stick. It’s small so you can carry it with you in your pocket, in your dot book, even in your cleavage if you want.

“Ugh. I want it but I bet it’s super expensive”
Nope nope nope. It’s only $10 for one tube that will honestly last the entire marching season.

“It won’t last the whole season. I might lose it”
Well, if you do, just buy two! When you buy two you get another one for the low low price of FREE. And it’s shipped right from the factory to your front doorstep for not one dollar, not two dollars, but zero dollars. Yes friends, buy two Nerd Wax, get another one free and get it all shipped absolutely free!

“Sweet! I want it! But where do I get it?”
Well, you open up your Internet and in the address bar you just type nerdwax.com

That’s all there is to it!

the instrument's inner monologue: practice room edition
  • tuba: goddamn there's a lotta spit
  • flute: i'll never be good enough. *cries*
  • saxophone: *awesome jazz solo*
  • trumpet: i can hear the flute. time to try and outplay them!
  • baritone: *assorted farting noises*
  • clarinet: *loud squeak* iT WAS THE REED
  • trombone: all these people are scrubs
  • percussion: they don't practice. good joke
  • piccolo: *ethereal notes sometimes* *angry cursing sometimes*
  • euphonium: today is the day. i will show up the tubas. i can do this. *assuredly pats instrument*

So, tomorrow is Harry Potter day for band camp and I’m so pumped. I’m so pumped that I sorted each section into the different houses and I’m going to award them house points for every good thing they do tomorrow.

Aren’t I the best drum major?


A Year of Progress Challenge


I present to you the Year of Progress Music Challenge

The rules are simple:

  • If you play an instrument
    • Find a song and sight read it
    • Record your self
    • Remember the day you played it
    • Then, every month on that day play it again and record it (you can practice it prior to the recording)
    • After you do that for a whole year (12 videos/recordings) Post it to the internet with the tag #ayearofprogressmusicchallenge
    • Watch/Listen to it and be amazed with how much you’ve improved
  • If you write music
    • Create a piece’
    • Call it “A Year of Progress” or anything you want
    • Divide it into 12 movements
    • Write one movement each month
    • After you write all 12 movements post it online with the tag  #ayearofprogressmusicchallenge
      • (I use Musescore to post music)
    • Listen to it and be amazed with how much you’ve improved



So I guess a few people have seen this post by now by lifehackable:

I thought I might as well add my pissed off two cents.

As a high school Drum Major, I can’t even begin to stress how wrong this is. Yeah, it may be totally possible, but think of it like this: The band works more than half of the week. The band works during school, the band works after school, the band works and is most likely going across whatever state they live in on the weekends to COMPETE against other bands. These kids are spending most of their high school lives on the field perfecting their skills. Their parents are spending thousands of dollars to keep them in band. From personal experience, as a trumpet player as well, my first trumpet, a used, beat up, old trumpet that didn’t have the capability of making a tone that came relatively close to good cost 200$. That’s 40% more than a general ticket to high school football. 200$ is also how much my school charges for any student to be involved in an extracurricular sport or activity that uses school funding, EVERY YEAR. We’re up to 400$ for one year, which is 80% more than the ticket. I’m a sophomore, so now the grand total is 600$, or 120% more than your ticket. My band is taking a trip to Arizona next week, which cost every student an average of 1600$. New total: 1200$, 240% more than a ticket. The band fees to keep the band running are about 1000$ spread out over the year, every year, so adding 2000$ to our total to make it 3200$, 640% more than your little ticket. My personal current trumpet, a brand new (when it was purchased) Yamaha Xeno Series, cost my parents 2,563$. that makes the total now 5763$, which is now 1153% more than a ticket. Aside from in school band, many kids, partake in Private Lessons OUTSIDE of band, on their own time where they could be doing more important things, such as studying, working, helping out at home, etc. They are usually about 25$ for half an hour once a week, all year round. 1300$ for one year, and we’ll be adding 2600$ to the total because two years. 8363$ is how much an AVERAGE band member pays, not including uniform fees, gas money to and from rehearsal, honor band fees, leadership fees (I haven’t heard of a lot of bands that do this but my band has 100$ fees after you’ve been granted leadership if you choose to take it), specialty or instrument camps, etc. An AVERAGE band member has payed 1673% of your ticket in their second year. And people, after reading this, are going to think it’s okay to save their 5 DOLLARS off of their ticket and just walk in with our dedicated students?

Newsflash, it’s NOT OKAY. We have a few parents walk in with us. The nurses, uniform fixers, directors, and sometimes some parents bring us water. Not only will you stick out, you give us the reputation of being lazy and not paying attention to who is with us. It’s rude, and i can’t stress enough that we work too hard and give so much for people to just follow us into the arena. I would make a slightly more convincing argument, but i’m literally so disgusted by this post that I can’t even think about anything except how DEGRADING, RUDE, UNACCEPTABLE, and DOWNRIGHT WRONG it is.

Please, do not do this. Ever.

Save 5 bucks now, ruin 8363$ that every student has paid. 

Seasons (Interpreted by a High School Band Kid)
  • *Summer*
  • Me: *Drools over Drum Corps* WHEN DOES BAND START? WOOO BAND CAMP
  • *Fall*
  • Everyone else: Omg. Hoodie weather, cuddle weather, football season c:
  • Me: MARCHING SEASON IS GONNA KICK BRASS. Finally get to wear my band hoodie! Frick yeah. Long bus rides and pep band! Let's eat all the marching tacos and cup of noodles at competitions
  • *Winter*
  • Everyone else: Why tf is it so cold? Guess we'll watch a basketball game or two. I hate the snow.
  • Me: INDOOR SEASON. WGI HERE I COME. *cries bc of all the beautiful shows*
  • *Spring*
  • Everyone else: Well, it's one season closer to summer again.
  • Me: Let's goooooo pre-season! I can't wait to find out what the show theme is! Ahhhh leadership auditions *cries* BAND CAMP CAN'T COME SOONER.