drugs are all in my life

Masterlist

Castiel

Series:

Honey and Rain (Preparing to delete and rewrite)

Angels break into your bedroom one night and shove bright white light down your throat, turning you into an angel. You are given orders to find somebody by the name of Castiel and protect him at all costs.

Impure

Castiel is given orders to terminate a future threat to the human race but is unable to follow through and gives the baby nephilim a second chance at life.

Blood Bath

Sam and Dean finds you trapped in a vampire nest as a blood slave and take you back to the bunker. You and Castiel form a special bond after he heals you and reassures you everything will be okay, but they don’t know the vampires have something in plan for you.

Keep reading

“I’m a single father. I’ve had my son since he was two. His mother and I used to consume a lot of drugs, but I did a full stop when he was born. He saved my life in a lot of ways. But his mother never got her life together. She’ll show up sporadically but then disappear for months at a time. I try to fill in the holes with as much love as possible, but I know it bothers him. He’s just not at an age where he can fully express his feelings. I try to protect him from all the volatility of my own life. I broke up with my girlfriend yesterday. And I’m sitting here wondering how I’m going to explain it to him. I actually waited a long time before introducing them because I didn’t want her to be another absence in his life. But now it didn’t work out. And I’ve got to figure out how to break that down for him.”

(Bogotá, Colombia)

just cute bpd things uwuwuwuw

-ur handwriting is never consistant wtf
-im not happy right now so i must have never been happy in my whole life
-all ur marks are either As or Fs
-literally throwing temper tantrums
-i want to go off the wall ballistic and rob a bank and chop my arm off
-i could just run away. i could just disappear. i could do it
-getting inspired to change your whole life at four in the morning
-deleting all traces of yourself off the internet
-knowing youre wrong in an argument and not letting go
-cant stop gossiping. cant stop talkin shit. cant stop being nasty
-apathy. empathy. apathy. empathy. apathy. e
-cant keep friendships for longer than a few months
-depersonalizimg so hard u think someone drugged you

as a kid I watched her all the time and she was like my biggest idol and I’d say I wanted to be Miley when I’d grow up and now my 13 years old self (I’m 21 now) would be so damn proud now to read this billboard interview, how she decided to give up drugs and smoking and take herself seriously and use her talent right. best of luck for her, so happy to see someone with good heart back on right track, you know what they say life is the climb but the view is great, there’s ups and downs, but you will always find your way back home, welcome back, Miles ;) xx 

garde-the-gardevoir  asked:

How many drugs to you take daily?

Hello yes it is me, the wacky drug boy! I’m glad someone FINALLY thought to ask. I love having so many drug, and can have as many as 7 drug a day!

For instance, I might have 1 caffeine in the morning if I’m at a nice café, but only with food because I get a bit shaky otherwise, so if they bring the caffeine out before my food I just wait.
I might also have 2 paracetamol drug with water if I have a headache, and an additional 2 if symptoms persist after 4 hours.
Sometimes I have the sugar drug if I eat a food with sugar in it, which on the whole I try to avoid but I’m definitely not strict about, and I might even have a milkshake or ice cream on occasions where I’m feeling especially druggy.
Sometimes when I’m really spiralling out of control, I’ll have 1 alcohol after dinner with my life partner, maybe 2 or 3 on special occasions or if I’m attending an event. Probably not on the same day as taking paracetamol though because if I’m not feeling well then I probably wouldn’t feel like it.

This potent mix of mind altering substances is the secret to all my loopy zany ideas, and the abilities required to realise them. If you take all of these cool drug like me then maybe you’ll arrive at the same artistic conclusions, but thankfully nobody else has ever been reckless enough to try.

(1/3) “In every sense she was the perfect mom. She always tried to encourage me when I was younger. I was really shy, so she always worried about me being alone. She would ask things like: ‘Have you met anyone at school?’ or ‘Does anyone like the same things you do?’ She always knew when something was wrong. I never had to tell her anything. But Dad was the opposite. He ignored me. He never did anything wrong. He wasn’t an alcoholic. He wasn’t violent. He was just nothing—like a chair or a piece of furniture. His only idea of fatherhood was going to work. He never reacted to anything in my life. Not the good things, or the bad things. He didn’t react to me staying out late. He didn’t react when I experimented with drugs and alcohol. I made my mom very sad by trying to get my dad’s attention. A few years ago I got hit by a car. When I woke up from my coma, I called home to tell my parents what happened. My father answered the phone. I told him everything. All he said was: ‘Your mother is asleep right now. You can call her tomorrow.’ That hurt me worse than being hit by the car.”

(Santiago, Chile)

kisskookiedough  asked:

So for the pip & co college au I just had to say this. Frances : My name is philip and I'm afraid my lovers will leave me for my dad cause they said they like silver foxes HUUUUHH

  1. alex what are u doing w that pencil??? get your life together
  2. richard he’s like 44
9

It’s celebration time y'all!!

I went from growing up in a predominantly white town and being discriminated against to the point of being sent to a special education program, to graduating a year early. I am at the top of my class(4.0 !!) , got accepted to 8 colleges (all into the biology program) with up to 100k in scholarships, all while working part time and having internships.

I came from having both of my parents absent, due to drugs and mental illness, and I’ve had my own struggles with depression and eating disorders. At one point I didn’t even think I would make it to senior year. But God really pulled through and helped me take my life into my own hands. Greatness can happen if you have faith and put in work. I’m really looking forward to this next chapter, and all God has to offer. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

The Thing about Mary

It’s been awhile since I made a post about Mary… it’s overdue. *crackles knuckles, limbers up fingers*

It made no sense. None of what they wrote made sense. What was the narrative point of Mary? To “create” Sherlock Holmes and John Watson? I call bullshit; they were already that without any external help. Moreover, if that was her purpose all along, she sure did a lot to destroy that very thing: the dynamic of arguably the most famous and celebrated male friendship in English literature. Just in case we’ve forgotten: 

Mary started undermining both John and Sherlock, individually and together, from the moment she appeared on the screen. She had already interrupted John’s attempted proposal once to excuse herself to the bathroom or wherever she went (”Now then, what did you want to ask me?”)*, then interrupted him and corrected him and laughed at him throughout. Her pattern of gaslighting, demeaning, and manipulating him continues through every moment of their shared time together on screen. Nowhere is it more evident than in the opening of His Last Vow, wherein she basically follows textbook procedure on gaslighting, from correcting his perceptions (”about a month, actually”, “see? That does happen!”) to doing it in front of a third party (humiliation) to questioning his motives and abilities (”why you?”) to outright forbidding him to do something (”you can’t go”) to inserting her presence where he clearly didn’t want it, then trying to sugarcoat it all by giving him a compliment - one which he reacted to not with pleasure or a softening of his obvious anger, but with a terse statement that he was already aware of what she was complimenting him on. It’s an abusive relationship, full stop. 

*Shout-out to @blogstandbygo​ for pointing this out in our recent hang-out with @addictedstilltheaddict​ and another friend in Toronto last week

She inserted herself between them from that very first scene and made it clear that any form of friendship they were going to have was to happen through the medium of herself, and only on those terms. This was so clear to John that he patently disguised his intention to see Sherlock to her as of their first conversation about it (during which she was openly mocking his blog posts about Sherlock, another form of demeaning and humiliation). This forced brokering of their relationship led to John eventually being ousted from his own friendship with Sherlock (who was too distracted by Moriarty to notice Mary’s machinations, alas). John was so unhappy with this dynamic that became the least like his canonical self that we had ever been shown before that point, going so far as to actively seek out an affair. This is decidedly not like John Watson, the man who got himself arrested because someone insulted his best friend. Loyalty is as much a part of John as his thirst for adventure. He was made to feel so superfluous by the wife who compared him to a dog and the friend who didn’t notice what was going on that he was looking desperately for escape. 

Mary, on the other hand, never gave John her loyalty. She never even gave him the truth. She died without him even knowing whether her name was really her name (doubtful, given the sort of work she was doing while using it). Mary gave John nothing but lie after lie after lie. He could never trust a word that she said, and he hated it. She was willing to do anything to him, as long as it kept him by her side. She was willing to shoot the man he was still grieving years after his (supposed) death and never tell him after, no matter how much it would have devastated him to lose Sherlock all over again. As for Sherlock, she shot him without a second thought, smirking and condescending. 

Mary never once showed a shred of remorse for any of it. Not for any of her past crimes, which included killing people for money - not for anger, not for principle, not for political manoeuvring - but something as tawdry and meaningless as money. Gross. And she never regretted it. Not that the creators of the canon decided to show us. She never expressed any regret for having lied to John, nor for the way she constantly treated him. She never expressed any gratitude to Sherlock for having rid her of the blackmailer that would have sent her to prison for a very long time. She accepted it as her due, without blinking. She never thanked Sherlock, John, or Mycroft for having become accomplices in her attempted murder on Sherlock’s life in not having reported it. She assumed that was her right, too. Mary was a psychopath and narcissist, not caring about right or wrong, just what benefited her. 

Mary never changed her ways. There was no development of character, no softening, no realisation that everything she had ever stood for was completely terrible. Right to the last she was calling a man she had tried to kill a “pig”, offensively mimicking accents, still owning and carrying around guns and enough drugs to knock out a seasoned user. If anything, what we were shown was someone who had not only not changed, but someone who kept repeating the same behaviour. When the .A.G.R.A. team got into trouble on its final mission, Mary cut and run, leaving the other 75% of her team to be tortured or killed. She never went back and checked to see if a rescue mission was possible, never followed up, never confirmed the deaths of her teammates, just blithely moved on with her life and got married without once looking back. Sherlock offered to help her, twice. With the weight and power of the British government directly related to him, this isn’t exactly an offer to be taken lightly, yet Mary attacked him on both occasions, first shooting him in the heart and running away, then drugging him and running away - just as she left her former colleagues behind. 

If you want to take the argument that motherhood somehow redeemed Mary, think twice on that, too. I’m not a parent, but just about every mother I know would never leave an infant behind. Obviously it happens; infants get abandoned all the time. Most mothers don’t, though. Was Rosie not nursing anymore? Was she ever? Did Mary think about that before she cut and run, or was she too busy with her offensive faux-Jewish accent and possible flight attendant murder there? My mother used to tell me that her own life took on so much greater weight once I had been born because she had something to live for, someone who needed her. She stopped taking any sort of risk that would endanger her, because she had a child to care for. Mary doesn’t seem to have been similarly affected by parenthood. Her inexplicable and unsupported decision to jump in front of a bullet says that perfectly, if her previous abandonment didn’t. 

Never forget that John had the measure of Mary. It was John who knew that Mary would turn on Sherlock, should Sherlock warn her about Ajay and offer to help her again. It was John who grimly suggested putting a tracking device in the USB, knowing that Mary would attack Sherlock and steal it from him. While she was living, John had no illusions about who Mary really was. 

Mary’s decision to defy physics and leap in front of that bullet was not the culmination of an arc of redemption. What it was is a completely out of character action that jars with everything that came before it. It’s wholly unsupported by any of her previous behaviour. This was, if anything, a “redemption split second”, not an arc. Followed by her DVD wherein she pointedly tells Sherlock to kill himself or get himself killed, it is to be understood that this behaviour was an aberration from the norm. Mary never changed. If she had, she would have gotten rid of her guns and ninja outfits and come properly clean with John without waiting until circumstances forced it out, and even then only giving him partial truths. It could almost be said that Mary was pathologically incapable of telling the truth, but that would be making excuses for her. She knew what she was about. She made all of these decisions by herself, to benefit herself and her own interests. 

The Mary in John’s head never existed. It can’t even be discussed in a conversation about Mary’s characterisation, because it wasn’t Mary. It was John. And what John said about Mary at the end of The Lying Detective is a displacement of his own thoughts about Sherlock. John has a lot of dissociation issues in this episode in particular, and what he says about Mary is a statement which actually applies directly to Sherlock, not to Mary. This is John simply unwilling to believe that his marriage was as abusive and terrible as it really was, and trying to make himself feel better about it. The one person who genuinely believes that John Watson is a far better human being than he actually is is Sherlock, who calls him the “bravest, kindest, and wisest human being (he has) ever had the good fortune of knowing”. Mary literally called John a dog. That’s decidedly not what he was aspiring to. The one time she says something genuine about John’s moral superiority over her, it’s worded as a complaint (”you don’t make it easy, do you… being so perfect”). It’s as close to a real compliment as Mary ever gets. Sherlock is the one who believes in John, who sees past the temper and the grumpiness to all of John’s sterling qualities of loyalty, kindness, courage, humour, and accepts him as he is in his everyday self, too. 

The post-mortem DVDs just don’t even make sense. How did Mary know she was going to die? Even if she suspected that one of the many enemies her life of professional criminality had made would come for her eventually, it seems impossible to avoid the conclusion that Mary was still, even beyond her death, doing everything in her power to drive a wedge between John and Sherlock, even to have Sherlock die. For her to finally assume credit for their friendship is an insult to the intelligence of the viewers. 

They told us Eurus, Redbeard, and Sherlock were all the same person in TAB

Do you remember the part where Sherlock drags his friends to Ricoletti’s grave and we think it’s real, but it’s actually mind palace?

The grave stone says “Emelia Ricoletti, Beloved Sister”

Sherlock jumps in and starts panting like a dog. He shovels dirt with his hands, digging like a hound with paws.

Sherlock is all three people.

“My husband is three people”

The Final Problem makes sense only in subtext. Whether you think it’s John’s MP or Sherlock’s MP, that’s still up for debate. I’m officially siding with Sherlock’s because there are flashbacks to the waterfall scene from TAB in TFP, which means both of those episodes must have been experienced by the same character, and I don’t think it was John for both.

Sherlock DID have a friend named Victor Trevor, but his death happened much later in Sherlock’s life. Because of that Sherlock took to hard drugs as a young adult, not as a child. There are two separate deaths he combined together to create TFP.

Redbeard was an imaginary friend. Sherlock didn’t have friends, we know this. He wanted to be a pirate – Mycroft remembers and misses that carefree child.

So what changed Sherlock’s mind? Why did the cold, logical, calculating machine take over and get rid of Sherlock’s imaginary friend?

Mycroft. He kept calling Sherlock “a stupid little boy”, saying “you always were so stupid”. Sherlock even says Mycroft thought he was an idiot. Sherlock stopped being “stupid” and tried to emulate his big brother – the only person in his life that would tolerate him. He tried solving the Carl Powers case and boom! Sherlock Holmes the little detective was born. This is why Mycroft brought up Redbeard at the wedding – “Hey, don’t get involved, remember when you had to resort to imaginary friends like a pathetic little child?” makes a lot more sense than “Hey, don’t get involved, remember your dead friend Victor who disappeared because our secret sister killed him?”.

Eurus represents the crushing logic that destroys everything Sherlock loves.

Because it’s happened before. Twice we’ve seen Sherlock’s mind explain how Victor died, we just didn’t know it.

Keep reading

the ‘no longer human’ (2010) that you probably haven’t seen (and nakahara chuuya’s significant role in dazai osamu’s life)

You read that right. ‘Ningen shikkaku’, or as we know it, ‘No Longer Human’ had a movie that came out on 2010, directed by Genjiro Arato and starring Toma Ikuta as Oba Yozo (and to a lesser extent, Dazai Osamu). 

Keep reading

anyway so john looked at sherlock, at all of sherlock, at the crime and the experiments and the mess and the drugs and the landlady and the danger and the weird older brother, and not only did he say, “cool sign me the fuck up” he literally said “cool this saved my life and i will protect it by any means necessary” so like. if that’s not meeting the most important person of your life, idk what more you’re looking for really. 

romance sentence starters.

“ if you are not too long, i will wait here for you all my life. “
” i have always loved you. “
” you mean the world to me. “
” i will always love you. “
” you always have a special place in my heart. “
” you have my heart. “
” you’re under my skin, what can i do? “
” if i could give you the world, i would. “
” you are everything i ever wanted and more. “
” you are the reason behind my smile. “
” you’re the only light in this darkness. “
” there’s nothing more romantic than italian food. “
” you caught me, i’m a hopeless romantic. “
” i will always be here for you, when you aren’t here for me. “
” your love is like a drug, it’s addictive. “
” hurting your feelings is like hurting my own. “
” i’m only happy when you are. “
” there’s nothing more romantic than speaking french. “
” you have me in a way no one else could ever have me. “
” you are my heart, my soul, my breath. “
” living life without is pointless. “
” i suffocate when you are away from me. “
” i’ll hold yesterday in my heart. “
” i’ll try to love again, but i know it is a pointless effort. “
” you are a dream come true to life. “
” i’ve never loved like this before in all my life. “
” i could stare at you forever and never get tired of your face. “
” do you want to take a flight to paris with me? “
“ i thank god everyday for you. ”
“ you are the love of my life. ”
“ i’ll never love anyone more than i love you. ” “ all of my emotions are wrapped up in you. ”
“ i do love you, more and more every day. ”
“ you won’t have to give me a second chance, the first one is all i need. ”
“ there aren’t even words to express my love for you. ”
“ i could tell you all of this until you’re blue in the face and it still won’t serve justice. ”

It’s 4am and the drugs are all we have;

But the look in your eyes is the only thing that’s making my head spin.

—  Nicole Torres // ;4am drugs don’t compare; E.M excerpt
The Signs As Things My Teachers Have Said

Aries - “There’s an increased chance I’ll run naked through the French Quarter but they won’t charge me extra for it”

Taurus - “Wow, I really like drugs and sports don’t I?”

Gemini - “Buzz Lightyear was real saucey”

Cancer - “Welcome to the last first Monday morning of your first day of your junior year for the rest of your life!!”

Leo - “All that glitters is disco”
Virgo - “If Trump wins the Latino vote I’ll shave my head and teach a class naked”

Libra - “Flip the wagons!”

Scorpio - “If you have to be lazy to keep from killing yourself, be lazy”
Saggitarius - “Benjamin Franklin’s father was a wet noodle”

Capricorn - “Welcome to real life. Nobody wins.”

Aquarius - “I’m really disappointed that no one has put memes on their lab reports yet.”

Pisces - “Everything just needs a random dog. Everything.”