drug overdose

A trans man died last night.

I’ve never met him. He was the son of someone who worked in the hospital with my mom and her boyfriend, who got called in last night when he overdosed on drugs. At this point I thought he was a girl, as thats all my mom and her friend were telling me. “She has a drug problem” “she is messed up, its a mess” “her whole family is a mess” until she finally threw in the fact that he was “a girl transitioning into a boy” while continuing to use she/her pronouns before and after that revelation. And they just didn’t seem to think, even for a moment, as to how that could have been affecting him. That it could have factored into his struggle at all. And I thought if they were treating him this way and they knew his mother, maybe she was treating him this way as well. Maybe he was denied the respect he deserved. Maybe he was never acknowledged as a son or a man. I have no idea. My heart is breaking for him and I’ve never even met him. I don’t even know what his name is.

He died last night and I don’t know if he’ll be buried as a man or not. I don’t know if people will be crying his name or his deadname. But even if nobody in his life acknowledged him as a man before or after his death, I will. And I hope anyone reading this will too. I know it’s too late to mean anything for him but…I don’t know. Maybe it can mean something. I wish we could have met.

Rest in peace.

i realised
maybe a bit too late
that i still love you
but this is for the best of my sanity, i suppose
after all, there are two ways drugs kill by
overdose and sudden withdrawal
—  and you killed me twice // inkbledtimberscraps

The LD50 (the dose in which that substance has a 50% mortality rate) for LSD is amazingly high in contrast to the amounts needed for it to cause any felt effects in the human body. There’s very few cases of death from LSD whereas alcohol is one of the most lethal drugs on the planet. This is definitely not a call to prohibit alcohol again. We saw how that worked the first time. But we also see how drug prohibition is working right now which is not at all.

do you ever sit on your bed thinking why you are still alive? after all the overdoses, the cigarettes you smoke, the new drugs you tried? you’re still alive after all the alcohol, the accidents, the drawbacks. you live even if you destroy yourself every day, despite you are conscious of you actions. you are still fucking alive and you don’t even know why

Do you ever sit there and wonder why you’re still alive? After all the attempted overdoses on painkillers, the amount you smoke, all the alcohol you’ve consumed, the experiments with drugs..You do all this self destructive shit and you’re still alive and you don’t know why?