Day Six: LSD

On LSD, which is often taken in tab form, an intense, altered state transforms into disassociation and despair. Often there is no stopping “bad trips,” which can go on for up to twelve hours.

Mental Effects

  • Delusions
  • Visual hallucinations
  • An artificial sense of euphoria or certainty
  • Distortion of one’s sense of time and identity
  • Impaired depth perception
  • Impaired time perception, distorted perception of the size and shape of objects, movements, color, sounds, touch and the user’s own body image
  • Severe, terrifying thoughts and feelings
  • Fear of losing control
  • Panic attacks

For whatever you’ve done or whoever you’ve been in your past, you are here now. Forgive yourself for anything and everything. It’s the first step in healing. If you forgive yourself, you will be okay.

Sometimes its not only about being addicted to drugs, sometimes its also about being scared. You become so wrapped up and consumed in drugs you forget how to live a normal life. You isolate yourself from the world only surrounding yourself with other drug users. At first your having the time of your life, Not even realizing your pushing the rest of the world out. Eventually the party stops. Now you find yourself struggling to live a normal life, whatever that even is..
You don’t remember what it was like to go out on a “date” or out with friends on the weekends. You keep searching for that happiness you got out of life before you did drugs. Your mind is so fucked up. You want a normal life but at the same time you can’t remember what was so great about it? What did you do for fun?
You become scared. Lost. And drugs seem to be the only thing keeping you going.

As a child I was taught to believe addicts are somehow “bad people.” However, now that I am white-knuckling through my own sobriety and recovery, I am finding these so-called “bad people” are my soulmates. Addicts are remarkable people. Addicts fight a war within themselves every single day. Addicts are stereotyped and discriminated against. Addicts are beaten down and made to believe they are weak. With all odds against them, addicts do live healthy lives in recovery, and for that, I am grateful.
Fuck the pain away.
I mean fuck it, drink it, shoot it, smoke it, snort it, cut it, binge it, purge it all the fuck away.
Get high.
Relapse.
It’s what we do.
—  Nic Sheff, We All Fall Down: Living With Addiction