drown out the noise

Now Is the Time to Know (That All That You Do Is Sacred)

For @starscythe and the beautiful art she made for Dark OQ Week, Day 1: Getting to Know You. Title taken from Hafiz. [ffn | ao3]

Special thanks to @repellomuggletum15 for being a badass beta, and to @robin-of-locksley for inspiring a line in this.

They got acquainted with each other’s bodies first.

One drink had turned into two (he insisted on buying that one as well), and their coy little glances had grown bolder, heating and opening up to one another in clear looks of want.

And oh what a glorious mess they had made of the tavern that night.

It was strange, in the beginning, to know him and yet not – in a purely physical sense, they were nearly identical, these two Robins who had both breezed into her life at a time when second chances felt like something impossible to her.

The same blue eyes. Those same strong arms (the way they learned to hold her, too). Even that scar up his bicep, the long lines of muscle that swooped down his waistline and tensed whenever she traced them with her tongue.

But the similarities ended there.

The way that he moved, the sound of his groan as he pressed into her – trying to remember a different Robin in him was like opening a book to find the chapters had all been rewritten, and it took a few moments of fumbling with this new kind of intimacy for her to realize how little it mattered in the end.

She was not the same Regina, nor the same Evil Queen, and her different with his different came together so naturally that she eventually decided it was useless to question or dwell on it too long.

She’d made a vow not to waste any more time with this man.

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So I headcanon that Yurio is terrified of storms. He tries his best to hide it, but coincidentally every time there’s a big storm he’s jumpy and anxious. Victor eventually finds out, and every time it’s supposed to storm he drags Yurio over to his apartment and they watch movies at top volume to drown out the noise of the storm.

Then Victor leaves for Japan.

It storms the next day, and a soaked Yurio turns up on Mila’s doorstep. She takes him in, ushers him to the bathroom to take a warm shower and change (he has spare clothes that he left at her house) and she makes him piroshki and braids his hair and they watch romcoms together.

(And maybe he gets sick afterwards, and Mila takes care of him.)

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instant gratification (m)

Originally posted by pjmksj

fuccboii jk x cheerleader! reader ft sex in an instant photobooth

7k, smut

WARNING: this is just pure smut no plot whatsoever lmao and it’s filthy as hell read at ur own risk

11.57am [Jeon Jeongguk]: Quad. Now.

The brevity of his text should annoy you, but it only ignites a desire that burns insistently till it’s quenched. With your screen brightness turned down this low, it should be hard for anyone but you to decipher the words on your screen, but you still jump in surprise and guilt when your roommate, Sejong taps you on the shoulder.

“Hey, don’t forget practice is at 12.30pm today, don’t be late!! Coach already seemed near the end of her rope the last time and the team sure as hell doesn’t need her cracking down any harder. Got it?” Sejong might be your dearest roommate, but as captain of the cheer team she definitely takes her duties very seriously.

Swallowing back nervous laughter, you attempt to flash her an easy smile. “Yes, I promise I’ll be there on time!! It won’t happen anymore, I swear.”

You quickly stash away your phone in your bag and finish adjusting your knee socks before standing and bidding her a hasty goodbye.

“Wait, you’re leaving now? There’s still like half an hour before we start!” Sejong narrows her eyes at you just as your hand lands upon the door handle. Even facing away from her you can feel her scrutinising gaze on your back, and your urgency to leave the room increases.

“Uhh… yeah, you said my splits needed some work last time right? I think I’m gonna go in early and get some practice in.” To your own ears your excuse sounds flimsy and coupled with the slight tremor in your voice, you’re almost definitely sure that Sejong will call you out.

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u know when u suddenly become aware u dont like the person ur being but u literally cant stop and its like this loud noise in ur head drowning out any attempt ur brain makes to not be annoying

A List of Witchy Android Apps:

There will probably be overlap with other app posts. I’m not trying to say I’m the first to discover these apps or anything of that nature. I’ve included some brief descriptions of why/how regularly I personally use them/how they could be useful and how the app functions.

Amazon Kindle: I have some digital witchcrafty books.  If you have your own amazon account, it may be an especially good idea for the discreet witch. Digital versions of encyclopedias are also much easier to carry in-pocket this way.

Angel Cards: The free version only has 2 options, “Message of the Day” and a “Past, Present, Future” spread.  The app’s cards are splayed out (face down) for you to scroll through and choose from when you do a spread, and that’s why I use the app despite its lack of free features.

Angel Tarot: The free version of this app is much more substantial than the previous app mentioned.  It has a card of the day function as well as 5 spreads built into the app. This app’s divination function also has a user input into the randomization through tapping the touchscreen to shuffle the deck and then choosing the top card with a slide whenever you’re ready.  It also allowed you to save your spreads/results to review at a later through a “Journal” function.  It does not allow you to take notes on the spread, just archives the result itself.

Cards of Courage: This is a free app that doesn’t offer the entire deck until purchased.  There is a Daily Card function, and 1 card, 2 card, and 3 card spread functions. With this app, it chooses a card without any user input (no shuffling/scrolling through cards), but it has not negatively affected its accuracy in my personal experience.  This app also has four guided meditations I have not tried to use for it does not interest me.

Crystal Oracle: This is a free app that sort of functions as a magic 8 ball. It takes user input to begin ‘pulling’ an answer.  The answers vary from the typical yes/no/ask later.  I’ve had varied success with this app.

Galaxy Tarot: A free app with an upgrade option that adds a journal and additional card associations among several other things.  This app does not utilize user input for the daily card, but it allows the option for the 6 spreads available.

GardenAnswers: A free app I feel would be very useful for identifying local flora.  If a photo of a flower is input into the app, it attempts to match it from a database.  It also has a function to ask a horitculturist for advice identifying a plant or treating a plant issue.  I have not used this app much, so I can’t vouch for or against it.

Golden Thread Tarot: Cards are generated without user input.  The app has a physical deck that can be used in companion.  The app offers a journal function that allows the user to input how they feel about the result of the reading when they save it.  The app has a daily card function, and offers three spreads for various categories (ex. Love, career, general).

Horoscopes: A horoscope app I use mostly for entertainment.  The app has a sign compatibility function that only has m/f options.  It also has decent graphics of the constellations which could function as a nice reference.

Inkboard: A simple drawing app I use to create sigils.

Labyrinthos Academy: A fun app that teaches Tarot.  The user is allowed to pick between a girl, boy, and nonbinary option for their “player character.”  I’ve heard it is very useful for learning the Tarot card meanings, but I have yet to try it much.

MagicBall: An app that requires users to shake their phone to get an answer.  It seems about as accurate as the Crystal Oracle app.

Memo: Any note-taking app will do.  I’m pretty sure all phones come with one pre-installed. I’ve heard Evernote works well, too.  Basically anything that you can use to save your notes even when you’re on the bus or otherwise on the go.

myNoise:  This app is made by the same person who has the myNoise website! I 100% recommend this app (and the website which is fairly mobile-friendly) for anyone who needs background noise during spellwork, meditation, divination, or even sleep. Truly amazing stuff.

Phases of the Moon:  An app that tracks the moon phase and what sign it’s in.  It also has a (relatively unstable) function to set the moon phase as your lock screen/background that is useful for keeping a constant eye on the moon phase.

Planetary Times:  An app that tracks the astrological time.  It explains what planet’s time it is at the moment and also supplies some horoscope capabilities.  It also explains the correspondences and associations of the planets.

Spellcaster:  Offers a few basic tarot reading options that do not take user input for card choice (bar selecting a reading).  It also has a few spells from the creator’s grimoire, and a daily horoscope.  There are more features, but the ones I’ve listed are the free ones.  I honestly don’t find myself opening this app much.

Uni Tarot:  This app has several decks from which to choose, and the user “stirs” the cards with their touch screen before selecting a card or cards for the spread.  It has a large amount of information on the cards, and has a journal function.

Viridi:  A calming, meditative digital succulent gardening app (there is also a viridi for the computer) where you weed and water a potted arrangement of succulents.

White Noise Generator:  The one I have is an actual stream of white noise.  Could be useful for drowning out loud surroundings for meditation or ease in hearing spirits.

Michael Mell is on the spectrum

In BMC- the clips we’ve seen of the show- in all the scenes where Michael is wearing his hoodie, if he is stressed, or has something to lose (when Jeremy is receiving the squip and Michael is apprehensive, when Jeremy goes to get the girl, when Jeremy stomps off after saying he hates the school, when Jeremy hasn’t acknowledged him all day because of optic nerve blocking, when Jeremy chooses to side with the squip and the upgrade instead of following Michael, etc) whenever something stressful, unnerving, or hurtful happens- MICHAEL WEARS THE HOOD UP TO COVER HIS HEAD-
This may not seem like a big deal to some people but as someone on the autism spectrum- this is a clear coping mechanism that a lot of people on the spectrum use-
It helps to kind of hide you a bit and give you some kind of little relief and sanctuary- the same thing with headphones- wearing headphones can help block out unwanted noise that you are overly sensitive to and drown it out with noise that brings you comfort (in michael’s case- sometimes Bob Marley)
Another common trait in people on the spectrum, is anxiety over change. People on the spectrum typically grow attached and accustomed to their routines and get startled and disoriented by change. This is another trait that can be seen in michael- in the opening number- he is introduced for the very first time singing:
“Jeremy, my buddy, how’s it hanging? Lunch is banging. Got my sushi, got my slushy and more!”
First of all, it is arguable that when Michael says “Got my sushi, got my slushy, and more” it is a glimpse of these said patterns that tend to fall into place and make people on the spectrum more at ease. Notice how he doesn’t say “I got sushi and a slushy” he says “got my sushi, got my slushy”- he states it simply like this because Jeremy is his best friend and knows his patterns and habits- which is why he so plainly states it like everybody knows about them. I think this is an example of Michael’s system- he gets his sushi, he gets his slushy, he listens to his music, he wears his same hoodie, and he goes to school.
Second of all (and this is more debatable than the rest) before Michael goes on to share his routinely patterns, something that stuck out to me was that Michael wasn’t as socially adept as other characters- he addresses his friend and does the socially acceptable thing by asking how he is doing, but then immediately moves on without receiving an answer. This isn’t because he is selfish or a dick- in my mind it’s another trait of people on the spectrum. For people with high functioning autism, social interactions can be extremely difficult because it is hard to comprehend what is socially acceptable and what isn’t. This can make some relationships hard because they may come off as rude or uncaring when in reality they just aren’t able to easily slide into conversation and act completely normally.
Third of all, when he says “and more” I thought it was cute because it showed his excitement for having accomplished something. For people off of the spectrum, little things like accepting a little change isn’t anything out of the norm because life is unpredictable and things change all the time. But for people on the spectrum, even little things like being able to roll with one simple change can be a huge victory. Change is a lot harder for us so being able to deal with slight change is a big deal. After this line- Michael says “the roll was Mekhi maki and I’m feeling kind of cocky, cause the girl at sev-elev gave me a generous pour”. Just the little change of the extra pour, extra slushy, Michael was able to accept and that was a win for him, enough to make him feel confident and cocky.

Throughout the musical and album there is more evidence of this but I think that it is at least debatable that Michael may be on the spectrum. Honestly it wouldn’t surprise me for George Salazar to portray a character like that as he has been good with mental health representation in the past. I honestly love the idea of an autistic character in a musical because there isn’t a whole lot of positive representation elsewhere. You don’t have to agree but I’m probably going to always see Michael now as a representation for me

Factors that Influence Your Dreams

Sounds: Real-life sounds can find their way into your dreams’ storylines. For a restful sleep, play  white noise in the background: It drowns out the other sounds around you and should improve your sleep, allowing for organic dreaming.

Smells: In a small 2008 study, German researchers introduced either a positive smell (roses) or a negative smell (rotten eggs) when women entered rapid eye movement, or REM, sleep – a prime time for dreaming. When the women were woken up, they were asked about what they’d dreamt. Smelling roses yielded positive dreams, while smelling eggs yielded negative dreams.

Sleeping Position: A recent study out of Hong Kong found that sleeping on your stomach increases the chances you’ll have a sexual dream. 

Your State of Mind: Not surprisingly, your mental state – not just what happens to you and around you – has a huge impact on your dreams.

Quitting: Ever wonder why you’re haunted by pizza and ice cream in your dreams when you’re trying to lose weight? Whenever you quit something – drinking or smoking or even just cookies – you’re going to dream about it. That is, if you diet or cut out sugar, your dreams are likely to feature a delectable buffet of treats. People who quit smoking tend to have dreams about smoking for the first couple of years afterward stopping the harmful habit – and some are visited infrequently by such dreams even 30 years later.

Drugs and Vitamins: Nicorette, for example, tends to give people intensely vivid dreams. Drugs can also affect dream recall: Since depression makes you less likely to remember your dreams, anti-depressants can counteract that effect. Vitamin B6 has also been shown to help people remember their dreams more vividly and easily.


spd tony stark who can’t focus with the visual stimulus of pepper’s desk toy, who invents a spectacular holographic display to avoid the textures/sounds of paper & pencil, who wears sunglasses every time he has to face the media + the flashes of their cameras, who blasts music in his workshop to drown out any grating machinery noises, who stims by fidgeting and tapping at the arc reactor, who wears the most worn out t-shirts when he’s alone because they’re soft and who wears the most expensive suits when he must because they’re the most comfortable when they’re custom-made, who spent years self medicating with alcohol to dull his senses and having a ton of sex to drown his nerves in positive feedback

Never Too Early

Originally posted by aestheticvbts

Description: Hoseok decides it’s never too early for a bit of dessert.

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: Don’t ask. I just needed to write this. It’s been plaguing me. Shoutout to @ellieljade who’s become my beta, apparently. Obviously, this was the next stage of friendship we were meant to ascend to.

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Upstairs (m)


Pairing: Hoseok x reader

Genre: smut, fluff (?), dancer!college!Hoseok

Word count: 5.7k (I love a good build up)

Warnings: contains sex, sexual/explicit language

Summary: You finally get the courage to yell at the noisy neighbor upstairs and begin to realize that maybe you should’ve gone up sooner.

a/n: pls be kind first smutty thing I’ve written in A WHILE, idk if it’s any good I’ve literally re-read it like 15 times before posting. Enjoy! Hopefully more of my writing is on the way!!!

“Are you fucking kidding me!” You yelled in exasperation. The floorboards above you creaked and thumped as your neighbor pounded on their floor.

 It was currently 11:30 and you were trying so hard to get your presentation done for tomorrow’s class. You grabbed the broomstick that was becoming less for sweeping and more for hitting on your ceiling in shallow attempts at getting the ruckus to quiet down.  

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ROAD TRIP AU (made with the help of @nonbinaryevanhansen, @thisiswhatmylifeamountsto, @dr-evn-hnsn, and other bros from the DEH discord chat)

  • The Gang™ decides to have a road trip–one last big hurrah–before they go their separate ways to their respective jobs/graduate programs. 
  • Alana is in charge of planning because she doesn’t mind phone calls, can be trusted to not spend more than they’ve budgeted, and is generally more responsible than the rest. She has a spreadsheet with every aspect of the trip planned–right down to what rest stops they can stop at for people to stretch their legs or use the restroom. She has a color coded binder containing the menus of the restaurants they’re going to eat at, the brochures for the tourist destinations they’re stopping at, and the receipts for all of their reservations; she also has a copy of the itinerary for everyone. Two copies for Jared because…he’s Jared.
  •  Zoe is the deejay. While she’s procrastinating from studying for finals, because Zoe has senioritis even though she’s not even technically in her last year of college yet, she makes dozens of playlists that are specific for every different road trip mood. One is named “For When Connor Starts Being an Asshole and We Need to Drown Him Out” and another is aptly titled “Weird Tree Noises to Calm Evan Down.” She’s the only one allowed to use the aux chord and she has to keep a close eye on it because Jared’s constantly looking for an opportunity to rick roll the caravan.
  • Connor is the driver. Not because he’s a particularly good driver, but because he’s pulled enough all nighters in his day that he doesn’t mind driving through the night as Alana requires for some parts of the trip. Even when he gets sleepy, he just has to put on Zoe’s “Please Don’t Fall Asleep at the Wheel and Kill Us All” mix and he’s good to go for another six hours. When Jared tries to call shotgun, Connor tells him “if I have to sit beside you all day, I’m going to drive us off a bridge.”
  • Evan gets shotgun. He spends most of the time playing eye spy with Connor– “I spy with my little eye something green” “Evan could you please pick something that isn’t a tree for the love of God”–or reading wikipedia articles on the various trees they come across. He doles out the caprisuns and individual bags of doritos and lays potato chips that they stock up on whenever they find a Wal-Mart that’s reasonably close to the interstate. When they make stops, he’s the one wearing the fanny pack with the tiny fan, travel-sized sunscreen, bug spray wipes, and extra bandaids in it.
  • Jared is…well, Jared. He’s relegated to the back seat with Alana and Zoe and he’s bored as hell. Alana spends their car time going over the itinerary and reading guide books and Zoe alternates between staring out the window while listening to music on her phone and playing Candy Crush on her phone. Jared tries to help her out by telling her what to do, but she mostly ignores him, much to his distress. At one point, he swipes her phone because “Zoe you’ve been at it for an hour this is getting embarrassing” and nearly gets mauled by Zoe in her attempts to get her phone back. Alana is the only thing between him and certain death at that point. He also smuggles a lot of contraband snacks on board in his backpack and suitcase and refuses to share despite having more chips and soda than any single person could/should consume. 

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It’s endlessly fascinating, isn’t it?” The noise of the city nearly drowned out her words as she turned up her collar against the wind, reaching for his outstretched hand. 
“What is?” he asked, linking his fingers with hers. Her eyes followed the people crossing the road, latching onto passing cars every now and then, bottom lip caught between her teeth. 
“I just can’t help wondering about all of these people.”
“About all of them?” Laughter laced his voice. It died when he saw the serious look on her face.
“All of them,” she confirmed solemnly, nodding, “every single one. Have you ever thought about how many different stories they have to tell? Look at that man over there-” she pulled her hand free to point at a man carrying a bouquet of flowers further down the street, “what if he just bought flowers for the love of his life, ready to surprise her? What if he takes them to his sick mother to cheer her up? Maybe he was having a bad day and bought them for himself? There are billions of people and they all have a favourite colour and a favourite song they sing along to in the shower. They all have a person that makes their heart beat faster and some of them wake up to an empty bed and wish they wouldn’t. Some of them have their life figured out at the age of sixteen, and others are in their forties and regret all the things they didn’t do when they were young. They worry and they argue and they love and they cry themselves to sleep. They’re all so separate, yet all so connected.” She paused, looking at him with her big round eyes.
“They all have their stories to tell. I sometimes wonder how many stories I’m part of. What impressions I left behind on someone else’s life. If they even remember meeting me.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she smiled and rested his forehead against hers.
“I don’t know about any of these other faceless people,” he said, “but I know about me. I have many stories to tell, but the ones with you in it are my favourite. You have not only left impressions on my life - you made my story ours.
—  stories / n.j.
Car Sex Can Be Romantic

Summary: Dan and Phil have their first time in the back of a car. Trust me, it’s more romantic than it sounds!

Word Count: 2,656

Warnings: There shouldn’t be any but if one of you guys see one let me know please!

Some General Tags: Pure smut, slight daddy kink, first time, size kink for like two seconds, and pastel and punk themes (but not directly stated). 

Authors Note: It’s 11:00pm where I am, I have an essay due tomorrow at 8am, and I got stressed from writing it so I wrote this instead! And trust me, I would much rather be writing this than a 7 page essay on Plato and Socrates. But anyway, It’s not very long, it’s pure smut, and it might have some typos. Enjoy it nevertheless! Happy reading! :)

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It’s A Match! [Swipe Right; part two]

a/n: I love you all so very much so I apologise in advance. I’m sorry about the formatting, I had a bit of an issue and I will fix it! Please don’t hate me too much Big thanks as always to the saints that helped me, I won’t name names, just know that I love you with my whole butt. (cause it’s bigger than my heart.) ;) Lau xoxo 

Pairing: StilesxReader // NogitsunexReader

Author: thelittlestkitsune

Warnings: Smut. 18+ Explicit Content. (Sensitive material ahead.)

Word count: .10,559

Listen to me.

Swipe Right.  

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A few times in my life I’ve had moments of absolute clarity when for a few brief seconds the silence drowns out the noise and I can feel rather than think, and things seem so sharp. And the world seems so fresh as though it had all just come into existence. I can never make these moments last. I cling to them, but like everything, they fade. I have lived my life on these moments.
—  A Single Man (2009)

Anonymous request for Andreil hurt/comfort: “How long has it been since you slept?” (I’m really sorry I answered the original ask with a “hey I’ll write this” instead of saving it to answer directly… hope you see this, anon!)

Neil stumbled out of the lecture hall, blinking his tired eyes at the afternoon sun slanting across the campus. His hands and feet felt numb and there was a cottony feeling muffling everything. He could barely tie his shoes that morning or write notes during class. Mostly he had spent the day staring, eyes blank, white noise drowning out his teachers and classmates. It was a dangerous state to be in. He knew how his mother would punish him for getting this far-gone. But if he was with his mother she would have made sure he slept every night, the two of them sleeping in shifts and watching out for each other.

Practice was a waking nightmare. Some of the haze burned off, allowing Neil to focus on drills but it still took all of his concentration. And the delay wasn’t helping, that nearly imperceptible gap between when something happened and when his exhausted brain finished processing it. Neil sprinted down the field, ready to make a play and score. But his eyes misjudged the speed and the trajectory of the ball and WHAM! The ball slammed into his helmet, sending him crashing to the floor. He dimly heard Kevin yelling at him as he crawled to his feet. The ringing in his ears was worse and spots flashed across his eyes. Neil took a step forward and tripped, going back down.

“Stay down.”

Neil obeyed. It was a relief to be told to stop, to rely on the hands gripping the back of his neck and his shoulder as he crouched on the court.

Without warning Neil felt his stomach rebel against him—

“Andrew—” he could barely speak. “Gonna be sick.” Neil tried to tug off his glove, wanted to cover his mouth, but he didn’t make it. Andrew barely had time to pull off his helmet before Neil threw up. He had skipped lunch and barely had any breakfast so it wasn’t totally awful but still…

“Oh Christ, Josten!” Kevin’s voice pierced through the haze, angry and loud. “You have to be shitting me.”

“Fuck off,” Andrew growled. He helped Neil up, guiding him off the court. “We’re done for today,” he told Kevin and Wymack. Wymack sent them to Abby while Kevin complained loudly and told everyone else to get back to work.

Neil leaned heavily on Andrew, feeling more rattled by the impact than he should have. He hadn’t been sick like that since… well, since he had been tortured. It made him feel incredibly weak and dangerously vulnerable.

After an examination Abby announced that Neil mostly likely had a minor concussion due to his symptoms of nausea, vomiting, dizziness, ringing in his ears, sensitivity to light, and delayed reactions. Neil didn’t tell her that almost all of those symptoms had been present before he took a ball to the helmet. Because telling Abby would be admitting to her, and Andrew, the true cause of his sickness. Abby prescribed bed rest and banned him from practice for the next few days. Kevin would be livid.

Andrew didn’t speak the entire ride back to Fox Tower. He helped Neil get to their dorm suite, helped him to the shower, and left. Neil slowly peeled off his clothes and got in the shower. He had turned off the overhead light but left the sink light on. With the curtain pulled the shower was dim enough that he didn’t have to squint. The warm water felt amazing. Neil sat down in the tub and leaned back against the wall, letting the water drum steadily against his aching skin. He was so tired.

Neil didn’t know how long he had sat in the shower staring dazedly at the water spiraling down the drain. By the time Andrew finally decided to retrieve him the water had gone cold and Neil’s skin was pruny. Andrew huffed in exasperation but got Neil on his feet and dried off, hauling him back to their room and putting him to bed.

The room was dim and quiet and Andrew was close, sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands bunched in the cover while he watched Neil with empty, emotionless eyes.

“How long has it been since you slept?”

There was no hiding from the question or from Andrew’s intent gaze. Neil squirmed.

“I don’t know.”


Neil shut his eyes for a moment, the grittiness so irritating that he felt tears prick at the corners.

“Neil. How long.”

“Days,” Neil mumbled. “I think I slept on Sunday.”

The mattress creaked as Andrew leaned forward, getting in Neil’s face.

“It’s Thursday, you idiot. What have you been doing at night when you’re not sleeping? Because I know you didn’t get out of bed.”

Neil tried to shrug but he couldn’t, the sheets tucked in too firmly, Andrew’s weight pinning him.

“I just can’t sleep.”

“Can’t or won’t?” Andrew gently pulled Neil’s lower eyelid down and frowned. “You look like you’re turning into one of those red eyed zombies. Is that what’s happening? You got bit? You’re just waiting until we’re all passed out to eat our brains.”

Neil snorted and leaned into Andrew’s palm. “Yeah,” he murmured. “Biding my time.”


They stayed like that for several minutes, Andrew’s thumb brushing back and forth across Neil’s scars. It was so soothing that for a second Neil almost dropped off but the moment he started sliding into unconsciousness his eyes snapped open.

“What?” Andrew asked, moving his hand to cup Neil’s chin.

“I don’t know,” Neil admitted. “I feel anxious, like I did before Baltimore. I can’t shake it, even though I know he’s dead and Riko’s dead and we’re as safe as we’ll ever be.”

Andrew moved his hand down, trailing fingers along Neil’s throat, listening, considering.

“Yes or no?” Andrew’s gaze was careful, assessing. If he thought Neil wasn’t in a good place…

“Yes.” Neil tried to bite back on his eagerness. Yes, always yes.

Andrew started with a kiss, slow and calculated, his lips teasing Neil’s, pulling back and making him rise up, making him follow after Andrew. Neil kicked the covers off and moved over, making room for Andrew in his bed. His heavy exhaustion burned away with Andrew’s touch and a sigh escaped Neil’s lips as his back arched off the bed.

Afterwards Andrew came back to bed and let Neil press against him. Neil breathed in Andrew’s scent, listened to the rhythmic beat of his heart.

“How did you know?” Neil whispered.

“I can do math,” Andrew muttered. “You haven’t slept since Sunday. What happened on Sunday?”

Neil thought about it, remembered waking up sleepy and warm in Columbia. Remembered how Andrew had taken him apart, a hand over his mouth so he wouldn’t wake the others. Despite everything Neil blushed.


“Yeah. Oh. Junkie.”

“I also got that e-mail from Stuart.”

Andrew didn’t say anything. Neil had already told him what Stuart had relayed. It was nothing new but it was still an unwelcome reminder of how, even with Andrew and exy and the Foxes, Neil was still owned by so many people.

“I should have paid better attention,” Andrew said.

“No, I should have just… told you. Not made it a big secret. It just hit me at a bad time.”

The anniversary of his mother’s death. The words went unsaid but Andrew understood. He stroked the side of Neil’s face, pushed his fingers into the auburn curls, tugging a little. Neil relaxed, let himself be comforted.

“Get some sleep, Neil. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Neil closed his eyes and surrendered himself into Andrew’s keeping. Lost himself in the thrum of Andrew’s heart, the dragging weight of his fingers, the scent of his skin. He slept.

Feel free to send me prompts!