The mind has its storms it feels like a hurricane crashing about as the rain pours and drowns you out the lighting flashes casting shadows in your mind but after the storm the sun will always come out -IzakDavid
A/N: It’s so strange… I’ll be writing something super sad one second, then something super fluffy the next. Drabbles are weird. XD
11. (Arno Dorian)
It was a grueling truth, the reality that you may very well die. You looked down at your crimson stained hands, the heat of the thick liquid contrasting with your rapidly cooling body. Death was holding you in its crushing grip, dragging you down, and somehow you were still holding on. Because of him, you realized. You were holding on for Arno.
“Just a little while longer.” He rasped, his feet heavy against the stone rooftop as he shifted you uncomfortably in his arms. Every movement had you crying out, jolting the fiery pain to life. If it wasn’t for the startling fear in Arno’s eyes, you were positive you would’ve already been amongst the dead. But you couldn’t leave him. Your head lolled against his chest, eyelids heavy as you began drifting off. “No,” Arno’s shout startled you back into semi-consciousness. “I’m not losing you today, you hear me?” A hum left your parted lips as you held onto him tightly. Just a little bit longer… “Please,” he begged, the wind whipping against your face as he sprinted even faster, pushing himself to the max. “Don’t leave me like this.”
“Arno,” you choked, your vision swimming. You just needed to hold on… Just… His worried voice was drowned out by the blood rushing around your mind, your heart slowing in your chest. Maybe if you just closed your eyes…
12. (Altaïr Ibn-La’Ahad)
“Wait,” he growled, pulling you back as you jumped. You fell into his hard body, both of you hitting the ground painfully.
“What?” You seethed as quietly as you could, your eyes flickering between him and your target as you stood back on your feet, dusting yourself off.
“You can not go yet.” He explained as if it made total sense to pull you back from the man who was in perfect position for your blade.
“I need to go,” you argued, pointing down at your target. “If he moves, it will be too hard to find another place to strike. Now is the perfect opportunity.”
“Have you learned nothing?” He hissed, hand tight on your white robes. “What would you do after you had taken his life?”
“I would run there.” You pointed to the stacked boxes that stopped about halfway to the top of a nearby building. “Then I would wait in the hay cart on the other side of the building. After I can scale that building and move along the rooftops silently and efficiently.” You stated dryly, knowing that there was nothing for him to argue. Unfortunately, he was stubborn.
“And what if you get caught by them?” He gestured to two rather large guards waiting by the exit of the alley you were in. “You could not fight them off.” Ouch.
“Are you questioning my ability, Altaïr?” Your voice was laced with annoyance, his haughty tone doing nothing to quell your anger. You’d trained for the majority of your life and you were confident in your abilities.
“That is not what I meant.” He backtracked, hands held up in surrender. “I only mean that you could get injured or worse.”
“That’s part of being an Assassin.” You retorted, watching as his jaw tensed beneath the shadow of his hood.
“Just,” he paused, almost as if he didn’t think he should finish, “be careful.” Half of your mouth tilted up in a smile, a hand pulling your hood down to obscure your face.
“I always am.”
13. (Ezio Auditore)
You sighed heavily into the shining, noon sky. Rome was bustling below, the yells of merchants and buyers alike ringing throughout the heat of day. Pulling both knees to your chest, you watched as men and women prepared for the event to come. You really didn’t want to go to this ball, but your father hadn’t given you much of a choice. There was a sudden change in the atmosphere; where the sun had once shone, a shadow now cast over.
“Ezio,” you greeted stiffly, not bothering to look up at the Assassin.
“What are you doing up here?” He asked, taking a seat next to you. You sent a half smile in his direction, your hands playing with your white robes.
“I needed time to think.”
“For the ball,” Ezio nodded, his muscles tensing. “What happened to your date?” His voice was bitter, a scowl on his scarred lips. That gave you pause, your lips turning up in realization.
“You’re jealous!” You laughed, his scowl deepening at your accusation.
“I am not.” He argued. Continuing to chuckle, you stood up with your hands on your hips.
“You, Ezio Auditore, are jeal-” Your sentence was cut off with a squeak as your back hit the stone tiles roughly, wide eyes looking up to Ezio.
“I am not jealous.” His eyes were like fire, burning every bit of your body they went over. He jerked you up, dropping his mouth against yours vigorously. You moaned against the heat of him, his tongue thrusting in between your lips at the movement. Everything suddenly felt too hot, his hands roaming all over your body with determined curiosity. When he finally felt satisfied, he stood up, leaving you lying on the ground and breathing heavily. You followed his movements a moment afterwards, watching him curiously. He hadn’t moved, instead observing you as his fingers slid along his lips, almost as if just realizing what he’d done. You wanted him, needed him to repeat his actions.
“Jealous,” you breathed, laughing as you took off across the rooftop. You didn’t even have to hear his steps heavy against the stone to know he was following.
14. (Shay Cormac)
The hand on your hip wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, but it wasn’t the one you wanted. The blue eyes shining beneath the lights, crinkled up as he laughed, were not the ones you wished to stare into. The crisp accent that sounded whenever he spoke wasn’t the one you needed to hear. But it didn’t matter. Shay wasn’t there, and even if he was, he would never think of you the same way you thought of him. He was too guarded, too untrusting to allow you that close to him. A soft groan left your parted lips as you tried to tune into the conversation once again. He was talking about trading stuff, at least you thought he was. He could also be talking about his family. You hadn’t the slightest, and honestly, you couldn’t care less. You were scanning the area, your eyes attempting to adjust to the overly bright lights. They really did try too hard at these things. That was when you spotted the dark gaze, looking to you with more intensity than you’d ever seen before. You wanted to call to Shay, but you were cut off before you could start by lips upon your own. It took you by surprise, prompting you to stand absolutely frozen for a whole minute. It wasn’t right, the person you wanted more than anything not being the one moving against your lips. By the time you actually realized what was happening, the man had been thrown off of you by your leather clad savior.
“Shay,” you breathed, watching him intently. He ignored the gasps of the crowds, picking you up with a stiff arm beneath your legs and one behind your back. His movements were swift and silent, that of a trained killer. Your eyes were on his jaw, clenched with tension. Despite how angry he seemed to be, his hands were still holding you as gently as possible. “Shay,” you ground out, trying to understand what he was doing. He slammed you against the side of the estate, keeping you trapped in between his arms while his knee came up to rub in between your legs.
“You’re mine.” He growled, hands working furiously on removing your clothing. You shivered, whether from the actual cold or Shay’s expression, you weren’t entirely sure.
15. (Shay Cormac)
The clatter of your sword hitting the stone reverberated throughout the night sky, weighing down on the two of you like you were carrying the world itself. Your eyes were heavy, reality finally dawning on you. No matter what he’s done, no matter how long he’s been away, you can’t hurt him. You dropped your head, your arms laying limply by your sides.
“I can’t,” you whispered, not daring to look up to him. “I won’t,” you stated louder than before. His leather boots groaned against the cobblestone as he walked towards you, the sound of metal on metal as he re sheathed his blades. A heavy, warm hand rested on your shoulder, prompting you to look into his dark gaze. His eyes were shining with pain, hurt etched across his expression.
“I never wanted to do this.” His voice was barely audible above the distant sounds of the city, the happy cheering only furthering the dampened mood. “I was forced to.” You lifted a hand, placing it ever so softly against his heated cheeks.
“It’s okay,” you soothed, a hand raking through his dark hair as he buried his head into your chest, wrapping you in a tight embrace. “It’s okay,” you repeated again, his hot tears rolling down your chest. You closed your eyes against the wave of emotion, holding him even closer.
“He wants you dead,” he muttered against your skin, his tears still wet against your clothing.
“I know.” And you did. Haytham Kenway had every reason to want you dead. You were an Assassin who had gotten in his way more than enough times to pose a threat. Although, you looked down at the top of Shay’s head, moonlight reflecting off the black tresses, you would never pose a threat to him. You never could; Templar or not, you loved the man.
“I love you,” he said lowly, almost as if reading your thoughts.
“And I love you.” Slowly, he pulled back from your embrace, keeping his eyes locked with yours.
“Go,” he whispered, “Please.” His voice was broken, face twisted in pain. “I can’t…” He trailed off, looking to the ground shamefully. “Please don’t make me hurt you.”
“I won’t,” you promised. “But, Shay, I don’t wish to leave you.”
“I’ll find you again,” he stood a little straighter, determination lacing his tone. “I’ll find you when this is all over and I swear to you, I will make this right.” You nodded, backing away from him. “Just don’t forget me.” His voice was carried by the wind as you ran, your vision blurring with the onslaught of tears and your heart breaking within your chest.
16. (Edward Kenway)
Admittedly, you’d had way too many drinks. But hey, the suave captain sure as hell didn’t seem to be complaining. In fact, he almost seemed to be enjoying it. It’s not like you were doing anything that different than normal, you were just a little less reserved. Your touches lingered a little longer, your words purposely holding double meanings. You couldn’t help it, you were much too drunk and he was much too attractive. You took another swig of your rum, laughing at something one of the drunken crew members said.
“Hand me a little more rum, lass.” Edward whispered, his lips moving against your ear. You shivered, smiling at his wink as you picked up a tankard of rum. You placed a hand on his upper thigh, leaning across the table to hand him the drink. His eyes followed you, tongue darting out to lick his lips as he watched you hungrily.
“This what you want?” You asked, shifting more weight onto the hand on his thigh while simultaneously moving it higher. His throat bobbed as he swallowed roughly, his hand taking the drink from you and placing it on the table.
“Oh, you are just asking for it now.” His voice was husky, causing you to bite your lip while thoughts of him using that tone in other, more pleasurable, scenarios assaulted your mind. He leaned forward again, all the sounds and smells of the tavern drifting away as his breath danced around your cheek. He was speaking, telling you something, but you were too focused on the smell of salt, leather, and alcohol emanating from him. He pulled back, a smirk on his face and primal intent shining in his crystal orbs. Unfortunately, you didn’t hear a word he said. Deciding to take a chance, you squeezed his thigh and sent a wink, abandoning the table in favor of leaving the stuffy pub. You weren’t certain he followed you, at least not until you felt the gentle yet firm hand against the small of your back.
17. (Altaïr Ibn-La’Ahad)
Your scowl deepened at the look of disappointment in his eyes, your arms unconsciously crossing over your chest despite the ache of protest from your ribs.
“I was doing my job.” You stated curtly, moving your gaze from the Master Assassin. He was angry with you, even though he shouldn’t be. You’d only done what was asked of you; nothing more and nothing less.
“You almost got yourself killed,” he argued, a clamp sounding as he took a step forward. “You were meant to finish your target, not die.”
“I didn’t die.” You ground out, motioning wildly to yourself. You clenched your jaw at the pain that came with the action. “I’m still alive, see?”
“You were barely alive when you stumbled back here.” Both hands held tightly onto the sheets, your eyes diverting down. Maybe you had been a little reckless, but it wasn’t on purpose. You hadn’t meant to get yourself nearly killed. It was entirely an accident. “Did you ever think of how that would make me feel?” Your head snapped up, jaw dropped as he continued in the most irritated of tones. “Do you know what I’d do if you died? If I never saw you again?” He was getting more and more hysterical with each word, finally abandoning talking in favor of wrapping both arms around your upper half. “I thought I’d lost you.” You closed your eyes, softly raking a hand through his hair.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
18. (Altaïr Ibn-La’Ahad)
His eyes were on you like an eagle readying himself for the kill. You had no idea what you’d done to make Altaïr so angry, but it was almost scary. Although, the intensity that you were sure was meant to intimidate you, just aroused you further. He was an attractive man; anybody could see that. But it was more than just his looks that aroused you, it was the way he acted so confidently. Unfortunately, that confidence was giving you pause at the moment. He seemed so sure about something, so angry about whatever it was. So much so that it had you thinking back to every single wrong thing you’d ever done to the man. The list was quite short and none of them happened recently, but still, something was on his mind. You were snapped out of your reverie when a hand whipped out of nowhere, tugging you into a bedroom. Your back was slammed against rough stone, eyes wide as you looked to your hooded assaulter. Altaïr’s muscles were stiff, his frame trapping you against the wall.
“Altaïr,” you breathed, not sure if you should be relieved it was him or only more alert.
“(Y/N).” His voice was strange, the underlying tension bubbling to the surface.
“What are you doing?” You inquired, watching him as his gaze moved down your body slowly.
“I’m sick of watching silently as you tease me everyday.” He growled, eyes blazing.
“Wha-” He cut you off, lips rough against your own. You were frozen, lips parted and eyes still open. Taking the opportunity, he slipped his velvety tongue inside your mouth, hands tightening on your wrists. He tasted of mint and cinnamon and tentatively, you responded to his kiss causing him to drop your hands in favor of holding your face between his palms as he explored your lips with fervor. You were practically putty in his hands, following every one of his bold movements. He didn’t seem to be letting up anytime soon, his body touching every bit of your own. And, you leaned into his touches, you couldn’t be more glad.
19. (Shay Cormac)
Your combined laughs echoed around the hall as you continued walking down the wooden walkway, Shay by your side. The two of you were reminiscing of past times, something you did quite often, as you made your way to your respective bedrooms. It was a rather nice inn, one that Haytham no doubt picked out. He could be a little… overly grand at times. Oh well, you looked to the Irishman with shining eyes, you’d endure anything Haytham could throw at you so long as you got to spend time with Shay. He smiled warmly back, watching you curiously as you moved to open your door.
“No, that’s the wrong- oh, dammit.” Your eyes were wide, Shay standing directly behind you. It was like everyone was frozen, Hickey looking quite mad as he looked over the woman on top of him to you guys. Your mouth was opening and closing, nothing coming out of it as you just simply shorted out.
“What the ‘ell.” Hickey yelled, glaring at you two.
“I, uh,” Shay tugged at your arm, slamming the door shut to close off the view. “Oh my God,” you laughed, a hand over your mouth as you doubled over. Shay’s chuckle was much deeper as he pulled you down to where your room actually was. “I did not expect that.” Shay was shaking his head, eyes shining with amusement.
“You shouldn’t expect anything less than that from Hickey, lass.” He laughed, warm hand on your shoulder.
“What about from you?” You questioned boldy, a smirk tugging at your lips.
“Aye, you could expect more.” His voice was soft, his hand moving from your shoulder to your cheek gently.
“Then show me.” You challenged.
It was too hot, the sheets too uncomfortable against your skin, but you couldn’t move. Not because you were afraid of waking Connor up, but just because you genuinely couldn’t move. He had you wrapped in his two strong arms, one leg thrown over yours, and his head tucked into your neck. Not only that, but he slept like a bear.
“Connor,” you growled, trying to wiggle your way out of his hold. He held on strong, his grip tightening the more you moved. “Dammit, Connor, wake up!” You yelled, flopping around in his arms like a fish out of water. You kept yelling his name, pushing as best you could from inside his embrace, but nothing seemed to be working. “Ratohnhaké:ton,” you screamed, kicking your legs around.
“What?” He questioned, one brown eye peeking open to observe you.
“Move. Over.” You replied, pushing him back.
“Keep still,” he argued, cuddling back into you.
“Connor,” you whined, continuing to move in his embrace. “It’s hot.” This time both eyes opened, his arms holding you even tighter.
“I wish to hold you.” He whispered, a red tint staining his cheeks. That took you by surprise.
“I’m still going to be right here.” You shrugged, watching him curiously. He looked oddly distressed at the thought of having to let you go.
“I know, I just…” he muttered, trailing off when he thought it necessary. You lifted a hot palm to his warm cheeks, a small smile on your lips.
“What’s wrong, Ratohnhaké:ton?” For a second, he didn’t look as if he was going to answer, his eyes flitting down to where your bodies were touching.
“Before I met you, I thought I’d have to be alone. And,” the intensity in his gaze when he looked up was startling, “I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to be without you.” Your heart clenched painfully, both arms coming up to wrap around his neck.
“I will never leave you.” You promised, resting your forehead against his. “So long as I walk this Earth, I will always love you, Ratohnhaké:ton.” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, head moving up and down with his nod.
“May I please hold you?” He asked, voice light. It may be hot as hell, but you weren’t about to deny him that.
“Always,” you whispered, burying your head into his chest. You could feel his smile as he placed a kiss to the top of your head, the soft pitter-patter of his heartbeat lulling you to sleep. Before you drifted off, you heard him speak, tone barely audible.
“You think, think that you’ll die without him. That’s a lie that you tell yourself. You fear that you lay forever alone now. It ain’t true no.”
Grayson, and yourself, had well broken up. That week, Monday specifically, it was now Saturday, and your friends had dragged you out, to free you from your current heartbreak. And guess who just happened to gracefully be there, as you were attempting to move on. No one else, but Grayson himself. Pretty convenient as he was the exact one you intended to drown out, drinking your sorrows away until he simply slipped your mind. Which, now was not what was going to happen tonight. You and Gray had broken up mutually, nothing, well bad happened. He had just grown to be extremely busy, never getting to see you, and vice versa. So, instead of drifting apart or such. You both had simply decided to break things off on good terms. This entire week, had been hell. You’ve always told yourself, you couldn’t even breath without Gray, let alone live without him. And tonight, you were going to reunite with him. Whether you liked it or not. He was there, you were there. There was going to be some type of contact. And, well you need it, or well want it. It’s actually unbelievable to how excoriating it has been without him.
“So put your arms around me tonight. Let the music lift you up. Like you’ve never been so high. Open your heart to me, let the music lift you up. Like you’ve never been this free. Til you feel the sunrise. Let the music warm your body, like the heat of a thousand fires.”
As the night wasted away, few stares from Grayson, looking at you ever so often, from what you presumed to check where you were. But who knows. All you knew is that you missed him. A lot. And he was not going to ruin your night. You loved him, you knew it. But it couldn’t work, without someone getting hurt. So you knew you had to let go of him for the best. Just not tonight, you were here to have a good time. And well, the both of you were going to have a great time, together. “Grayson, follow me.” You said walking up to him, grabbing his hand, breaking the conversation with some random guy he was having. Not important as of now. “Grayson, just follow me.” You repeated. Him simply, not replying, but following you. “Y/n? What are we doing?“ he asked once more, as you placed your hands on his shoulders, swaying along to the music of the speakers. Dancing, was something you and Gray would often do together, connecting with the rhythm of one another. “Shh, just feel the rhythm, feel like you’ve never felt before, free yourself to me, baby.” You spoke, instantly seeing a spark light up inside of his eyes. Feeling the fire of your romance, rekindle in a few simple touches, feeling everything you once had, something that still exists. Something so pure, a love that is impeccable, rekindle in a simple touch.
“Ain’t no crying in the club, let the beat carry your tears as they fall baby, with a little faith your tears turn to ecstasy.”
Swaying along to the music, as you both continued to dance along, the beat switched. To, yours and Graysons song, it was a slow one. And had incredible meaning to the both of you. Causing Grayson, to quickly, take his hands off of your waist. Trying to leave, as he felt memories, of something he let go resurface. “Gray, no. There’s no crying in the club tonight, stay here. Please, we can still dance to this.” You said, causing him to turn back around, facing you. “I wont, just. It hurts. Not being able to touch you like once before. Just, I miss you. I miss us.” He said, barely audible from the song blaring through the speakers. “Gray, it’s for the best. But, we have tonight, let your tears fall, turn to exctasy, like I said, free yourself. You need it, I need it. Just tonight.” You said, grabbing his shoulders once more. Swaying along to the slow song, feeling the love spark, but this was temporary y/n, everything is.
“You may think that you’ll die without her. But you know that’s a lie you told yourself. You fear you’ll never meet another so pure. It ain’t true no.”
Y/n, I, I cant do this. You, me not together. I can’t live without you, please. Can we try, us. Again?” Gray whispered against your shoulder during the slow song. “Bab- Grayson. We can’t, we could. But remember the whole thing about us, wanting to stay on good terms, this is that. You, will find someone ten times better for you. We won’t die without each other, I promise.” Was all you had to say, not to cheer him up. But to smack some realism into him. Really, to show him yes. He could live without him. And you can him. Just tonight, tonight was your, “official.” Departure. Giving the both of you a peaceful memory to break on.
“You think, think that you’ll die without him. That’s a lie that you tell yourself. You fear that you lay forever alone now. It ain’t true no.”
You were now, starting to free from him. Feeling every emotion melt away as you danced the night away, feeling a some what peace. Knowing tonight, tonight you could go home. Tonight you could live without him. Would that be permanent? No, probably not. He was your first love after all, and well most memorable. Every second, even now. Exhilaration filled your veins when you neared him, but. Maybe that wasn’t such a good thing after all. Maybe he could now be a peaceful memory. Maybe Y/n, and Grayson could be something of the past, and just y/n, can live on.
“Aint no crying in the club. I wont, I wont. Aint no crying in the club baby.”
As the night neared the end, nearly peaking into the sinful hours of the morning, nearly every soul gone. Including your friends, you and Grayson, still stood, dancing with the music. Nothing seeming real, everything seeming as it was in a movie scene. Perfect could describe the feeling. Perfect ending to “us” as, hopefully. You could both move on, after this night, of each other. Not one soul in the world could mess the both of you up .right now. Just the purity of a broken love surfacing the air. A love, that will never leave either of you. Forever staying within you. As the club was now closing, you could see Grayson. Looking down at the floor in despair, coughing slightly before speaking, “Listen, y/n. Thank you, for tonight. But, does this have to be the end. Of us?” he asked. “Grayson, you know. As I said once before, it’s for the best. The best for us.” You spoke, wishing it wasn’t true. Looking up to him, as the both of you walked out of the venue. As the inevitable departure was closing in. You could feel the tears well in your eyes. Not wanting this to be the end. “Hey, ain’t no crying in the club baby.” He mocked, as you once said. Placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Hey y/n?” he asked. “Yes?” you asked as you were standing outside of the brick building. “Can I kiss you? One last time?” he asked. Nodding, not wanting to waste the little time of him left. As you now vowed, never to see him again. Or at least on purpose. He leaned in, locking his perfect lips with yours, syncing perfectly. Slowly, breaking the kiss. As you both had to be home before it became morning. “I’ll miss you.” He said, walking off to his car, leaving. Leaving you, and anything that had happened in the club behind. And this, this was the last time you saw Grayson Dolan.
Hope you enjoy♥️ requests and ships open as always
summary: you want her, you need her, and I’ll never be her. warnings: swearing, angst, injury word count: 1359
“Take off your shirt.”
“I said take off your shirt.”
The nerve of this man, to barge into your room, without so much as a knock, mind you, and tell you to take off your clothes. The hell does he think he is?
“Need I remind you that you have a girlfriend, Barnes?”
Bucky strides over to you and grips your arm. Despite the chill of the metal, his touch burns like a match against your skin, and you try to pull away, but his grip is firm. His jaw is clenched, and his stare is cold.
“Listen, Y/N, neither of us want to be here,” (Ouch), “but everyone else is on a mission and Bruce told me to make sure your bandages are changed so do me a favour, darlin’, and take off your fuckin’ shirt.”
His piercing gaze makes you shiver, or maybe it’s the fact that he’s standing so fucking close to you, and all you have to do is lean in a couple inches and then your lips would be on his and–
“I swear to god if you’re just goin’ to stand there then you can change ‘em yourself.”
You snap out of it and take a couple steps back. The back of your knees hit the edge of your bed and you take a seat, then peel your shirt off, taking care to not aggravate your shoulder injury. Bucky watches you, arms crossed, his weight placed lazily on one leg.
You look up at him. “Now who’s just standing there?”
He rolls his eyes and walks over, kneeling in front of you. Once again, he’s so close. So close that you can breathe his scent: aftershave and detergent and–
And his girlfriend’s perfume. You swallow, throat tightening and chest hurting with a pang of jealousy. You’re being stupid, irrational, and you damn well know it, but fuck, it just– it hurts. A lot.
Bucky’s fingers work painfully slowly, peeling away the bandage wrapped around your midsection. Every now and then his fingers brush against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. His breath is hot against your skin. You close your eyes, feeling your own breathing becoming shallower and shallower. You shouldn’t be feeling the things you do – he has a girlfriend, for fuck’s sake.
It’s been three weeks since the last mission. Bucky’s been avoiding you, and you can’t understand if it’s because of what he thought what your reckless plan to save his ass or because of what you’d whispered to him before passing out. Either way, above anything, you’re relishing the time he’s spending with you, however forced and guilt-riddled it may be.
He’s removed the bandage now, and he lets it fall away. Then the tips of his fingers brush your bare skin, just barely making contact. It’s a feather light touch, and you shudder. He feels around your injury, and then slowly his thumb skims across your stitches, and then–
“Fuck, Barnes!” He draws his hand back quickly from where his fingers slipped and poked your final stitch. You clench your fists, breathing in and out heavily. “Watch what you’re doing.”
“Shit. Shit, sorry.” He rubs his knuckles with his metal hand, draws in a breath, and reaches for the clean bandages. He works quickly after that. There’s a change in his demeanour; he’s tense again, shoulders pulled back and a frown on his face as his finishes bandaging your midsection and moves onto your shoulder.
It’s quiet after that and he’s careful not to touch your skin at all. He finishes in record time and when he’s done he hands you painkillers (“You couldn’t have given them to me before?”), rolls his eyes, and turns to leave to room.
He’s almost at the door when you speak up, “Hey, Barnes?” He stops, but doesn’t turn around to look at you. “Thanks.” His hand hesitates on for a fraction of a second around the doorknob, then he pulls open the door and leaves your room without a word.
“BARNES!” You’re storming through his bedroom door, not bothering to knock, and fuck, you’re pissed off.
He appears from behind the bathroom door, a towel wrapped around his hip, and wet hair dripping onto his chest. “What?”
You pay no regard to his appearance and barrel towards him until your finger is prodding him in the chest and you’re glaring up at him. (Damn him, for being so tall). “You told Steve to let me off this mission.”
You draw in an angry breath. “Don’t play dumb with me Barnes. You told Steve that I wasn’t fit for the mission.”
He shrugs. “Yeah, I did.”
Your hands grab him at the shoulders and shove him backwards. (He barely moves). “How fucking dare you.”
Then his hands are on your shoulders and he’s pushing you backwards until your back meets the wall and then his hands are on either side of you, trapping you. “Don’t touch me, doll.”
“I told you not to call me that.” You’re shoving his chest but he doesn’t move an inch. “You have no right– no right! – to make decisions on my behalf.”
He leans in closer. “In case you haven’t noticed, darlin’,” (You hate the way he calls you darling), “you’re injured.”
“You got shot a month ago. I ain’t goin’ to let you compromise another mission.”
You drop your hands in disbelief. Compromise? Compromise? How fucking dare he. “In case you haven’t noticed, Barnes, I saved your fucking ass last time.” You’re yelling now.
“And I didn’t fuckin’ ask you to.”
Unbelievable. “Fine then. I’m so damn sorry for saving your goddamn life. How stupid of me to think about someone other than my own damn self.”
Bucky clenches his jaw. “You’re not goin’ on the mission.”
You close your eyes. “You don’t control me.”
“Steve’s already said you ain’t goin’. You’re a liability on the field with your two bullet wounds and the last thing we need–“
You kiss him. Your hands are placed lightly on his shoulders and your mouth moves and he–
He doesn’t respond. He’s as still as a statue.
Fuck, Fuck, you’ve fucked up.
You pull away, eyes wide and heart hammering against your rib cage. “I – I shouldn’t have done that. Shit. Shit.” Your gaze drops to the floor. “I should go.” You nod once, “Yeah. Yeah, I should go.” And then you’re moving to push your way past him, but his hands find your arms and then they’re pushing you back against the wall and then his fingers touch your cheeks and then his lips are on yours. His lips are on yours.
They’re soft. Softer than you’ve imagined they would be, and the revelation alone drowns out the voice at the back of your mind telling you just how wrong this is.
You kiss him back, matching the hunger behind his lips as your fingers tangle themselves in his wet locks. His hands travel from your face, down your neck, brushing the sides of your arms before the settles on the curve of your hips. Then his lips move from yours to your jaw, and then further down to your collarbone, and your breathing becomes laboured and he’s kissing the joint between your shoulder and neck and this is all you’ve ever wanted and–
He pulls away and your eyes shoot open. His own eyes are wide and his breathing heavy, chest falling up and down so fast. Your brows knit in confusion as he steps away from you.
“You should go.” His voice is barely above a whisper; you’re straining to hear him. “You should go.” He says it more firmly this time, as if reassuring himself and not you.
“What? You can’t just–”
His hand grabs your arm and pushes you towards the door. “You need to leave.” And then he’s pushing you out of the door and slamming the door shut behind you.
You’re staring at the white door in disbelief, chest tightening with an ache more intense than you’ve ever felt before and throat constricting and eyes burning.
Fuck you, Bucky Barnes. Fuck you.
A/N: There will be a part 4, but I am a bit busy for the next few days, so it probably won’t be out for a while. Thank you so much for the response to this series!
Request: Can you write something where to reader can’t sleep so Peter is there and gives cuddles, please? because I too can’t sleep and want cuddles
Pairing: Peter Parker + Reader
Warnings:None! Unless you count fluff. Then, fluff!!!!!
Notes: This took forever school makes me so busy I’m so sorry
“You promise you’ll get some sleep?” Peter had made you promise him about four times as he stood at the door. You had been studying all day today for a big physics exam you both had – you taking the study session much more seriously than Peter. He helped you to the best of his ability, and it wasn’t like you were dense when it came to the subject either, you just really didn’t want to fail.
Peter had been badgering you for the past two hours to go to bed, time already nearing to about ten at night. Peter kept assuring you that the test wasn’t until the following Monday, and it was only Thursday. You knew he would help you plenty if you needed it, but your anxiety got the best of you.
You rolled your eyes at your worried-for-nothing boyfriend and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into you in a tight embrace. “I promise, Peter. Now hurry and get home before it gets later.”
He pulled away only to place a gentle kiss on your lips. When he went to pull away you pulled him into one more, one of your hands softly carding through his hair as his grip tightened on your waist. When you finally pulled away you noticed he had a dopey smile on his face, causing you to mimic his. “Well, that’s what I call a goodnight kiss.”
You laughed softly before shoving him out of your door completely, “Go!” He laughed before throwing his arms up in surrender, slowly backing out into the empty hallway. As he rounded the stairs you shouted, “Text me when you get home!” He looked up to give you a questioning glance. “You know, so I know you got home okay.” You could feel your cheeks burn as he laughed a little. Even though he was everyone’s friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, you couldn’t help but feel worried whenever he wandered the streets alone at night.
“I will, I promise. Bye babe!”
You smiled as he disappeared from your sight, shutting your door and locking it before heading to your room.
You sighed for about the seventh time that night. You turned to check the time on your phone: 12:56 p.m. Your anxiety had heightened, and in result it denied you your sleep, though you desperately craved it. Peter had texted you twenty-three minutes after he left telling you he got home and then telling you one more time to go to sleep. Since your anxiety was at a high, you felt your sense of hearing heighten as well. You heard every slight creek or scratch against your door and windows. Being home alone hadn’t help settle you either. You attempted to listen to your music in attempt to drown out the sounds but that only made your anxiety worse, your mind begging you to pull the headphones out in fear that you couldn’t hear what was happening outside of them. You sighed for the eighth time before picking up your phone and hesitantly calling Peter.
“Hello? (Y/N)? What’s wrong, why aren’t you asleep?” You smiled through the receiver, hearing how his drowsiness disappeared with each question and how concern replaced it.
“Peter, I’m sorry to bother you. I know it’s late but I can’t sleep-.”
“Why are you apologizing? Don’t apologize, baby. What’s wrong?”
Your cheeks burned a little, like they always did whenever Peter used a pet name for you, he usually didn’t because he was rather timid in the relationship. “I don’t know, my anxiety is just bad, and I guess I’m a little scared to be here alone.”
It was quiet on the other end, you could only hear Peter’s hushed but quickened breathing, it wasn’t until you heard a small grunt that you spoke again. “Peter?”
“Hang on, baby. I’ll be there in fifteen.” And then the line went dead.
“You didn’t have to come over, Peter.” Your voice was shy, but Peter knew you had wanted him to come over, regardless of your arguing.
“I know, but I wanted to. You being scared is my excuse for cuddling with my pretty girl.” Both yours and Peter’s face flushed at the new pet name, you hoping he’d keep it.
“Well, thank you.” You laid back in bed when you returned to your room, patting the spot next to you. Peter climbed in and immediately brought you into his chest. His left arm was wrapped around your shoulders, allowing your head to rest on his chest, and his right hand came up to rake his fingers through your hair, playing with the ends slightly.
“Anything for you, babe.” His voice dropped down to a whisper, causing you to move your head up slightly to look at his face. He smiled softly at you, his hand coming down to cup your cheek. You leaned up slightly as he brought himself down to you, kissing you. It wasn’t as softly as he kissed you before he left earlier, but it wasn’t rushed either. It was a tired but passionate kiss. You closed your eyes but instead of seeing pitch black you saw nothing but color. Your hands clenched his shirt in your hands, pulling him closer to you. You hummed in the kiss, prompting Peter to shift slightly, pulling you under himself as he hovered over you. He pulled away and looked down at you, breathing heavily. As he smiled at you, you couldn’t help the words that came out almost instantly.
“I love you, Peter.”
His eyebrows raised as his eyes widened just the slightest. You smiled at him softly, bringing your hands up to his face, “I love you so much. I’m so lucky to have you. I’m so, so lucky, Peter Parker.”
And it took him hearing his name to pull him out of his trance, registering that this, in fact, wasn’t a dream. His smile returned as he laid back down beside you, his arms coming back to pull you against him. You both returned to your comfortable positions with his arm around your shoulder and in your hair while your head rested on his chest. And it was then, when you both had gotten settled and your breathing patterns were normal, that Peter spoke up.
“I love you, too,” you felt his lips on your forehead. “And I am so lucky to love you, pretty girl.”
Summary - Laying in bed with Dean after a hunt, the reader can’t sleep. After sitting outside in the rain for a little while, Dean joins her & offers to help her ease some of her stress.
Word Count - 1,423
Warnings - Implied smut, Some angst, Some fluff, Talking of feeling depressed/feeling like a failure. (If you spot any other warnings I should add, please let me know so I can edit this post to include them!)
After tossing and turning quietly for the last half hour, I couldn’t take it anymore. I glanced at the empty bed across from me, and debated moving over so I didn’t risking waking up Dean, but I knew Sam would be back eventually. Dean and I weren’t together in that sense, though I won’t deny I’d thought about it, but we always shared a bed when we were out on a hunt, or crashing somewhere. It’s been the norm for as long as I can remember. Even when Dean and I would hunt alone, we’d always share a bed.
Not that I wouldn’t sleep next to Sam, but he and I are strictly friends and I don’t want anything to ruin that relationship. And it’s not done to save someone from having to sleep on a couch, in a chair or in the car, but rather because something about being wrapped in Dean’s arms made everything in the world seem okay, if even just for those brief few hours that we slept. I never told him that reason of course, it was my little secret. As far as he knew, it was just because I didn’t feel comfortable sleeping with Sam.
You sat on the edge of the white bathtub, watching hot water flow through the faucet and slowly fill the tub. Threads of mist weave into the air above, occasionally kissing the surface of your neck. Your shoulders shrug as a shiver runs down your spine, reminiscent of a rather intimate morning. Surprisingly, he left no marks considering the time he spent on your neck and shoulders. You rub your neck, trying to rid of the phantom feeling of Joshua’s lips and teeth nipping all over your skin.
You yearn to see him again. Unlike your usual anticipation, you were feeling rather impatient this time. You wish to feel his arms around you, his fingertips occasionally slipping up your shirt and brushing your bare back. You wanted his face buried into your neck, lips latched onto your skin and his breaths brushing just along your jawline. You blush from the feeling of his chest pressed against yours, caving in and out with each drawn breath.
You shake your head. You shouldn’t have been dazing off about him during a chore. Thinking about Joshua was making you careless. The headmistress would be furious if she knew you were lagging behind on your task.
You turn off the faucet before pacing out of the bathroom and down the hallway that leads to the headmistress’ bedroom.
“Madam,” you called as you gently knock on her door. You crack the door open and peek in.
Tornadoland Everybody’s time has come, it’s everybody’s moment except yours. Fidelity I hear in my mind all this music, and it breaks my heart. Eet You’re using your headphones to drown out your mind. Blue Lips He stumbled into faith and thought, “God, this is all there is.” Bleeding Heart And you serve your time, drinking all night long, staring at the walls of your jail-like home. A Cooler Version of Yourself So young, and drunk. And young. And drunk. I lie down here until I die. Bartender And maybe if I sober up I will stop pretending that love is forever. Hero I’m the hero of the story, I don’t need to be saved. Better You’re getting sadder, getting sadder, getting sadder, getting sadder. And I don’t understand, and I don’t understand. One More Time With Feeling You thought by now you’d be so much better than you are. You thought by now they’d see that you had come so far. Open Day after day, I wake up feeling, feeling. Potentially lovely. Perpetually human. Suspended and open. Aquarius I’m not a skillful water carrier. But I’ve learned to carry love.
“Brett!” you shouted for the hundredth time. You had been walking around the forest all night looking for him, ignoring the clear pain from every aching being of your body. Maybe Malia was right- you did need extra track practice. You walked and shouted until you physically couldn’t anymore so you sat on a mossy log to catch your breath. You took your phone out your bag and began to scroll through all your missed calls and texts. Three missed calls from Stiles, two from Kira and about seven from Malia. A text from Stiles, ‘Where the hell are you?’. Another from Liam, ‘We’re all worried, why didn’t you show up to the meeting?’. Two from Scott, ‘If you don’t get here now something must of happened and we’re coming to look for you’ and ‘We just got the memo, I hope everything’s ok, call me when you can’. Then there were several texts from Lydia, you didn’t open the chat you could already see what one said, ‘Isaac text me, what in the world?!?! I’m waiting for you in the coffee shop-’ you didn’t want to see the rest. You locked your phone and shoved it into your back pocket, “Great” you sighed. Now the whole pack pretty much knows what you’ve done. What were you thinking? On second thought you weren’t. Brett was the one thing you had going good for you and you blew it, all over some stupid fantasy that you could go back to Isaac and everything would be fine. You weren’t entirely sure who you hurt the most because at the moment you felt the most broken. You put your head in your hands, you know you’re hurt when the tears wont fall. Regardless, that was a real dick move for Isaac to tell your friends like that, without even talking to you about it.
You lifted your head and picked yourself back up, it was best that you went to the coffee shop, you knew Lydia would be worried about you and it wasn’t long until closing time. You huffed and began to head back in the same direction, pulling your bag onto your shoulder with a sense of nervousness and discomfort after the realization of being on your own, in the forest, at night without any supernatural defence kicked in. You were storming through the narrow trees when you heard a twig snap from behind you, due to Allison drilling some of her hunter training into you, your immediate reaction was to pick up the first branch you saw and snap it in half to get a pointed end. You then flung yourself around but they caught your arm before you could stab them. “Brett” you sighed, slowly lowering the stick and dropping it onto the ground. “I cant believe you would do this, with him of all people! It’s like the second he came back you became distant and started lying to me” he exclaimed, you were ashamed but there was a slight bit of relief when you saw how much he actually cared. “I know” you said staring at him. “Don’t deny it you-” he began but cut himself off after realising what you said. “I know I’ve been off with you, but can you blame me? Me and Isaac were together since freshman year, that’s how much we’ve been through together” you stated. “This isn’t about you and Isaac, Y/N. This is about us!” he shouted. “I’m sorry ok! I’m sorry I’ve been such a terrible girlfriend, I’m sorry I cant control my feelings and I’m sorry I’m not good enough. I’m not good enough for anyone!” you shouted back, with hurt more so than anger in your voice. “Why are you turning this back on me? You’re the one letting your ex latch onto you!” he was still shouting, but a bitterness had now crept in. “I’m done, I am so done” your lips quivered. “What do you mean you’re done? You were about to cheat on me, remember?” he was raising his voice, but no longer shouting. With the dignity and pride you had left you carried on walking, ignoring Brett calling your name.
By the time you got to the coffee house, your eyes were puffy and your face was drenched in not only tears but rain from the thunderstorm that had kindly hit you on the way there. You looked through the huge glass opening, seeing the dim yellow light that gave it a comforting and cosy warmth. There were a few people dotted around using the free Wi-Fi and a few staff members that were beginning to clean up. You glanced over to the queue to see Lydia was at the front ordering another cup, you took a deep breath and quickly opened the door. You walked straight over and the second she looked up at you, it just seemed to spill out. “Brett saw Isaac kissing me and I think I just broke up with him” you accidently said quite loudly, throwing your arms around and crying. Everyone stopped their conversations and it fell silent for a second, all their attention fell on you. You were standing there panting after getting that off your chest, with drenched hair and clothes. “Make that two coffees and bring them over” Lydia said quietly to the worker, handing him a 20 dollar bill. She then walked over and put her arm around you, pulling you to one side. They all finally returned to their conversations or put their earphones back in. “You didn’t read my text, did you?” she whispered giving you a sympathetic look. You shook your head with wide eyes and pulled out your phone before reading the text out loud, “…I’m waiting for you in the coffee shop- with the pack” you said slowly. You looked up to see them all sitting on the sofas in the far corner, staring at you awkwardly. You definitely didn’t sign up for this. She walked you over and you both sat on the sofa next to Kira and opposite Malia, Scott and Stiles. Liam was sitting on a single chair he had pulled over, nervously biting his nails. Scott gave you his jacket to put over your shoulders, after noticing you were shivering. They brought over two coffees and you held the mug in your hand, staring down at it. “You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to” Kira smiled kindly. “Yes she does, now spill” Malia demanded. “Don’t act like you don’t already know, Isaac told you!” you exclaimed, still not looking up. “He only told us that Brett saw you studying with him and he flipped, that’s why you weren’t at the meeting” Scott added. You gave a loud sigh realising you had dropped yourself into this mess, not Isaac. “So back to the beginning, Isaac kissed you?” Stiles asked, clearly disappointed. “Not on the lips- just on the neck” you said, also realising how that sounded. Malia looked kind of happy, she hadn’t known Isaac for long but you guys were her otp, but you could tell she wished it was under better circumstances. “So wait, did you say you broke up with Brett?” Liam asked, also kind of happy. “I think so, I didn’t mean to but I’ve managed to screwed it all up” you groaned. “We can fix this!” Stiles said full of hope and optimism. “Well what if she doesn’t want it to be fixed?” Malia said glaring at Stiles. They then both proceeded to have a small squabble as to why you were better off with Isaac than Brett or Brett than Isaac. “What do you want?” Lydia asked, rubbing your arm comfortingly. “I don’t know anymore” you shook your head. This was certainly going to be a long night.
Luckily, the next day was a Saturday so you were able to avoid your friends for at least two more days. You were in your room listening to music but even that couldn’t drown out the loud thoughts swirling around your mind. You walked over to your wardrobe, pulling out the first decent outfit you saw and shoved it on. You actually remembered your jacket this time, after nearly drowning the night before. You hesitated for a moment, but thought against telling your friends where you were going (For the last month they made you text them whenever you went out alone). Instead you shoved your phone into your jacket pocket, grabbed your house keys and left. It wasn’t that late anyway. You wanted to go on a walk for a while, to take your mind off things and to clear your head. It’s something you used to do a lot of, before you were sucked into the supernatural world because now you get paranoid a lot. But today you weren’t going to let it bother you. Without a second thought you walked through a random empty side street, you were fine until you heard that noise. The noise that sends shivers down your spine, the noise that torments your nightmares. You slowly turned around to see them walking towards you. “Shit!” you whispered, running further down until you reached a dead end. Your shaky hands reached into your pocket and pulled out your phone, you knew you barley had enough time to make one call. You hesitated between Isaac and Brett, before realising you didn’t have either of them anymore. The second most reliable was Stiles because he always had his phone on him, “Pick up, Pick up” you panicked, noticing they were glitching closer and closer. “Hey it’s Stiles”. You sighed in relief but before you could open your mouth it continued, “You’ve reached my voicemail, so leave a message”. “This isn’t happening” you mumbled, running your hand through your hair. When it finally beeped you spoke as quick as you could, “Stiles I’m scared. The Dread Doctors are going to take me, please don’t let them kill me. I don’t know where I am and no one’s around. I’m so scared, you have to find me, please-” you began, while salty tears ran down your face. You looked around to see some rusty metal stairs that led to the roof of some old factory building. You threw your phone at the main dread doctor, you though it would buy you some time, but it just hit off its metal mask and smashed to the floor. You quickly ran over and up the stairs constantly turning to look behind you, when you didn’t see them at the bottom of the staircase you thought you’d lost them. But as you made it onto the roof there they were, already waiting for you. Typical- you should of seen that one coming.
“Do you think she’s ok?” Liam asked. “This is the second meeting she’s missed, something must be up” Malia said concerned. “Maybe she doesn’t want to see Isaac” Kira said nervously, while glancing at him. “She’s not coming” Stiles said, walking into Scott’s livingroom and holding his phone. He had tears in his eyes and he looked disappointed in himself. He played the voicemail for them all, all of them looked down at their hands or the floor while sitting on the edge of their seats. They couldn’t help but blame themselves for this happening. “We’re not letting them touch Y/N” Scott said, suddenly standing up. “What’s the plan?” Lydia asked, as the rest of them stood up. “Lydia, go and find Brett. Then go to her house and get him to catch her scent if he needs to” Scott began. “Malia, go with Isaac and try to find where she was taken. Look for any signs of struggle or emotions that can help us find her” he continued. “Kira, go with Liam and try to find their lab. Liam, remember to use all your senses to find it again.” “Stiles, come with me” he continued. “So wait, where are you going?” Liam asked. “If anyone knows it’ll be Theo. We’ll speak to him” Scott answered. “Great” Stiles muttered. “Keep your phones on” Scott stated, as they all flooded back out of his front door.
Lydia took her car and met Brett outside his house, he climbed into the passenger seat and sank into the chair.” Do you erm, need to get her scent?” Lydia asked softly. “No I’ve got it” he said rubbing his face. “This is my fault, I shouldn’t of shouted at her, then she wouldn’t need to go on one of her walks” Brett said shaking his head. “This isn’t your fault, we’re going to find her ok. I promise” Lydia said, glancing at him. “If anything happens to her I’ll never forgive myself” he claimed. “She’s a hard nut to crack, she’ll be fine” Lydia assured. Meanwhile, Isaac and Malia traced your scent to the side street. “That’s her phone” Malia said picking it up. “I think she went up here” Isaac continued, running up the stairs with Malia shorty behind. They noticed the small pool of blood that had stained the floor. “There was definitely a struggle and she’s hurt” Malia exclaimed. “She was scared, angry and for some reason amused” Isaac said furrowing his brows. “Sounds like Y/N” Malia told. “I should of been here, I should of always been here” Isaac mumbled. “How I see it, you cant change the past but you can change the future. So there’s no point blaming yourself when you could be out there looking for her” Malia advised. He nod his head and they carried on looking. “I’m going to find her, I need to” he whispered to himself. “Does this, you know smell familiar to you?” Kira asked. “I’m not sure, I cant do this without Scott” Liam replied. “Yes you can, I know you can. Do it for Y/N, she needs us” Kira encouraged. “What if I screw up? What if she dies because I’m too stupid to figure it out?” Liam asked, kicking the wall of the random tunnel they were in. “Don’t think like that, just breathe” Kira soothed. Liam took her advice and stopped to think for a minute, before tuning in his senses. “It might be this way” he shouted, as the two of them ran through the network of tunnels. “Theo” Scott called. “We know you’re here you little runt” Stiles added. Scott punched Stiles in the arm gently to shut him up, to which Stiles acted like he’d been hit by a hammer. “What do you want?” Theo asked walking forward. “We know you’re working with the dread doctors, where’s their little den?” Stiles asked. “I have no idea what you’re talking about” Theo replied, giving Stiles a sarcastic smile. “They have Y/N” Scott intervened, not wanting to hear them argue again. “Y/N? Why would they take her?” Theo questioned, clearly bewildered. Even though he was a power hungry sociopath, you had always got along with him and he promised he would never hurt you. “Show us where the lab is and we can save her” Stiles said. Theo huffed but still followed Scott and Stiles out to the jeep.
When your eyes finally drifted open you were met with a throbbing pain on your thigh. You looked down to see you had a huge slash mark from the struggle you had on the roof top. Your one arm was chained down so you couldn’t stand up or move very far. You rolled over slightly, your eye sight was still kind of blurry but you could see the shadows of the dread doctors moving. From what you knew about them, it wouldn’t be long until you were strapped down and made one of their experiments. You clenched your eyes shut, out of all the things you’d seen they were by far the creepiest. Even though you’d faced the Alpha in sophomore year, were paralysed by the Kanima, almost killed by the Alpha pack and Darach, watched two of your friends die from the Nogitsune and one suffer from it, helped your friends survive the Deadpool and even came face to face with The Beast, yet still something about the Dread Doctors made your skin crawl. You were lying there, feeling so weak and useless. Maybe being made a fake supernatural creature wasn’t such a bad thing, even if you died you could at least experience power for once, rather than being a useless human waiting to be saved all the time. “Please don’t hurt me” you groaned still in pain, as one of them began to walk over to you. It didn’t speak, it just made noises of banging metal and steam. You closed your eyes again, but before it reached out to touch you, a loud growl echoed around the lab. Along with the sound of loud footsteps from people running shortly behind. There was a fight and a half, you’d never heard them shout and scream so loud while giving out punches and kicks. That’s when you felt someone yank the chains from the wall and pry them off you. You rubbed your wrist and opened your eyes. They put their hand at the back of your head and helped you sit up. “It’s ok, I’m here now, you’re safe” he said softly. “It’s you” you smiled wildly, staring into his eyes. “It’s me” he smiled back, running his hands through your hair. “You saved me” you said weakly, while wincing due to him taking some of your pain away. It was him…
Cliff hanger, I know… Send in your requests as to who you want it to be, Brett or Isaac. I also interpreted a few requests into one, even if I don’t reply to them I would of still seen it x
Hello! Here is my first ever request for a special follower, @cho-cho-chocobros. It definitely came out longer then expected but I had a great time writing it. The ask was a writing about an S/O who is afraid of thunder storms and being stuck in the Regalia when it happens. Please enjoy! And feel free to drop me asks and requests!
You felt like you had been sitting in the regalia forever, it felt like the roads never ended. Your legs felt cramped and your butt had long since been asleep, you really wanted a break from the car.
You were squeezed in the back seat with Prompto on your left, and Gladio on your right side. Gladio had been asleep for the past hour his head bobbing as the car rolled down the roads hitting bumps, he was a twitcher when he slept and kept accidentally smacking you, it just made you laugh. Of course Prompto was being, well Prompto, he was taking all the pictures he could, and wouldn’t stop talking about everything and anything, he was incredibly hyped.
Currently Prompto and Noctis were in a deep conversation about the moogle chocobo carnival that you were currently driving too. You all were incredibly excited, it was a much needed break from all the other hardships you had all been dealing with recently, everyone needed a reprieve and to just have fun.
“Dude! I will so win that Chocobo racing game” Prompto talked with his hands and nearly smacked you in the face
“Whatever, let’s not forget who won at Wiz’s” Nocitis said with a smirk
“Uh yeah Iggy” Prompto motioned to the man sitting silently driving the ever regal Regalia “he made you look like you’d never understood the concept of a race!” Prompto said heaving with laughter at the memory, you laughed along as Noctis turned back in his seat and facing forward.
“Do you think there’ll actually be any Moogles there?” You asked your fingers fidgeting at the Moogle charm on your phone. They all knew you had a thing for Moogles like Prompto did with Chocobos.
“I am not sure, but for your sake I really do hope there are” Ignis said looking in the rear view mirror back at you. You sighed, he just made your heart melt.
Conversations kept up between the four of you that were still awake. You jumped when you heard the roof of the Regalia start to move and close up. Gladio jumped awake for a moment looked around with a frown and laid his head back down falling fast asleep again with a groan.
“Why are you closing it?” You asked with slight hesitation
“Storm, we are going to drive into one” Ignis said pointing at the horizon.
Your heart began to race and you felt your face flush. Storms were not your thing. You actually hated them. The rain falling was something you could handle but as soon as lightning and thunder began, you became a mess. On top of that you were never the biggest fan of tight enclosed spaces. You knew things were about to get rough for you.
“Rain rain go away” Prompto sung out as the little drops started to form on the windshield and make the road wet. The car became quite as Noctis fell asleep in the front seat, his feet up on the dash, and Prompto was playing on his phone.
You watched out the window as the rain started to fall with vigor, you clenched your fists and your breathing was heavier. You prayed to the six that it was just rain and no thunder or lightning. Prompto turned his phone to your face to show you something funny on it and all you could do was muster a small chuckle, he looked at you with confusion.
“Huh I thought you’d think that was good…” Prompto said in defeat. You just shrugged your shoulders never taking your eyes away from the window. Everyone sat in silence.
A loud sudden boom from the sky made you jump, and in the process made Prompto jump.
“Woah it got me too haha” Prompto chuckled as he picked up his phone he had dropped in his scare.
You had completely tensed up, you couldn’t clench your fists any tighter, you felt your nails digging into the palms of your hands. Another boom from the sky and a flash of light made your heart stop, your breathing became short and shallow as you held back tears. Prompto was watching you out to the corner of his eye and knew something was wrong.
“Uh you ok?” He had leaned over and whispered in your ear, you just nodded slowly, but he knew you better.
“Is it the storm?” He had figured it out, and you did nothing but sit there and began to panic more.
“Hey Ignis” Prompto started in but you punched him in the leg knowing he was going to inform the others “ouch!”
“Yes?” Ignis questioned he was very focused on driving as it was becoming harder to see through the windshield with the downpour.
“If you’re sure”
“Yeah I’m good I’ve got it” Prompto said with a frown looking at you with worry
You gave him a small smile in thanks, you weren’t able to muster any words. The storm was getting worse and the thunder was becoming more frequent with the lighting. The sweat was forming on your forehead, you literally felt sick to your stomach.
Prompto was racking his brain on what to do, he could tell you were getting worse, he decided to throw his arm over your shoulder and pulled you in. You reluctantly put your face into his chest. You tried your best to focus on the way he smelled, and his breathing. He smelled like summer to you, if it had had a smell. He smelt like warm sunshine and flowers. It began to relax you but one of the booms of thunder was right above the car and shook the road.
You bolted upright in your seat your eyes brimming with tears.
“Hey Ignis I gotta pee really bad let’s pull over” Prompto leaned forward setting his hands on the back of front seat, he thought getting out of the car would help you, he glanced at you with a reassuring smile. You shook your head quickly no.
“I told you to go at the last stop” Ignis sighed shaking his head as if he were a parent with little children
“Uh well ok yeah I’m good never mind. Never mind ” Prompto said starting to panic not knowing what to do for you
“Prompto you’re acting rather odd” Ignis stated “more than usual”
Prompto laughed, he reached for your hand to try and comfort you.
You’re heart was racing and all you wanted to do was scream every time the lightning struck, but you didn’t want them to know about your fear and didn’t want to inconvenience them. You wanted to be as strong as they were in every situation.
Prompto was starting to feel panic, he wanted nothing more then to help you, and he could see you weren’t ok in the least. He was incredibly scared.
“Ignis!” Prompto yelled without meaning to
It made everyone in the car jump and woke up the sleeping ones.
“Yes…?” Ignis said slowly
“Hey I wanna hook up my phone to play music it’s my turn” he said as he messed with his phone, a blush forming on the apples of his cheeks
“As you wish” Ignis agreed as he pushed a few buttons on the dash.
He was playing your favorite song and he turned it up as loud as he could. He smiled at you and sang the song as loud as possible and began to dance in his seat, the others in the car were staring at him like he had lost his mind. He grabbed your hands and pumped them up and down, he was trying to distract your mind and drown out the chaos going on outside the car. It was helping some, you began to smile a little feeling some hope for yourself, you started signing the song quietly along with Prompto.
The song ended and he kept playing music, hoping to help you but the storm was getting worse outside and you could hear the thunder again.
Prompto could see the panic in your eyes worsening, as you stopped singing, and knew something had to be done, he looked around quickly and out the window, up on a hill he saw what looked like a shack.
“Ignis stop the car!” Prompto yelled
Ignis slammed on the brakes everyone lurching forward, Gladio cursed loudly.
“What is it!?” Ignis said with shock as he turned in his seat to look back at Prompto, but when he say your face he knew something was horribly wrong.
“We just need to rest is all I’m getting all bugged out sitting in the car” Prompto said opening the car door and stepping out “I saw a shack up on the hill”
Prompto had no idea that getting out of the car was a horrible idea, you didn’t like being in the car but it felt a million times safer then out in the open with the storm.
Noctis and Gladio got out of the car and stretched both of them yawning. Ignis stepped out and began to stretch his sore legs. Prompto leaned back in the car holding out his hand for you a smile reassuring smile on his face
“Let me help you” he said with a smile
“This isn’t gonna help” you muttered through ragged breathes, he looked down and sighed.
You sat there trying to gather all the strength you could to get out of the regalia, you inched forward on the seat towards the door, grabbing the drivers seat digging your nails into the leather. You stepped out of the car and as your foot hit the wet asphalt a loud bang of thunder and lighting lite up the sky.
You jumped with a scream and fell right on the ground, you were done for. This was it, you couldn’t hold it together anymore.
Ignis heard you scream, he turned around abruptly and ran to your side and knelt down, reaching for you.
“My dear what is wrong?” He said with a sweet calming voice, he took your head in his hands and made you look at him
“Storm” was all you could breathe out as tears were rolling uncontrollably down your face
Ignis scooped you up into his arms and held you close and started to walk with determination towards the cabin.
“Prompto, your jacket, lay it over her head” Ignis demanded
“Sure.” Prompto said as he took off his jacket gently laying it over your head, you closed your eyes, blocking out the lightning.
Gladio and Noctis followed closely behind with worry on their faces, ready to help in any way they could.
The group walked up to the shack and Gladio opened up the door and checked to make sure it was safe before letting the others inside. Ignis walked in and walked to the corner furthest away from the one window and sat down on the floor with you in his lap.
“Gladio please run back to the car and get the camping equipment and all the blankets we have” Ignis asked, he was caressing your arm, your head still under the jacket.
Gladio ran out of the door and down the hill for all the gear. Noctis took off his jacket and put it up over the window hoping to block out the rain and flashes of lightning.
Gladio opened the door slowly hoping to not startle you. Ignis raised Promptos jacket off your head and set it to the side, he was watching you carefully. All you could do was ugly sob into his chest, you didn’t want to look at him, you were pretty embarrassed on top of being terrified.
Gladio brought over all the sleeping bags and opened them up and made what looked like a nest in the corner next to Ignis. Ignis picked you up and laid you down in the nest covering you and him up, he wanted to stay close to you and hold you. His heart was breaking seeing you so scared and hurting, he wanted to do everything and anything to help.
He took your head into his hands and made you look him in his big beautiful green eyes,
“My love, I wish you had told me about the storms” Ignis whispered as he wiped away your tears with his thumbs.
“I want you to tell me anything and everything” he leaned forward giving your forehead a long tender kiss
The other boys were setting up the shack for the night, trying their best to make it as cozy as possible, and trying to make sure any crack of lightning could be seen through were covered.
Ignis held you close and let you cry on his shoulder, he cooed softly into your ear as he stroked your hair softly.
“Darling please stop sobbing, I promise you are safe” Ignis said as your sobs let up a little “I would never let anything ever happen to you, you are my world and my everything, I am here to protect you always”
You looked at him with puffy eyes and smiled a little, you felt so bad
“Don’t feel bad” he said almost reading your mind “as long as I breathe in this lifetime I will never not be here for you through anything” he leaned back against the wall and held you tightly, leaving kisses on your head. “I love you far to much” his breathe on your ear as he whispered to you.
Your mind was completely distracted from the storm, he said he loved you, you never daydreamed it happening this way with you being an utter mess, but you couldn’t be happier.
“I love you too Iggy” you whispered with a croak in your voice. He smiled and lifted your chin and kissed your lips softly.
Gladio plopped down right next to you, making Ignis break the kiss and look at him.
“Closeness is comforting” Gladio shrugged with a smirk as he threw his arm around you two love birds.
Prompto smiled and dog piled into the sleeping bags and laid across your lap, Noctis sighed and joined, sitting at your feet.
“Iggy isn’t the only one who loves ya, we all do” Gladio said poking at your side, making you giggle.
“Yeah! You’re like the best” Prompto grinned pulling out his camera
“What they said” Noctis looked down with a smile
You had never felt so much love, they did everything to take care of you and make you feel safe. You felt utterly luckily to be surrounded by the ones you loved most.
“Thank you all so much” you looked at them all “I’m so sor-” you began to say and Ignis put his finger over your lips
“Don’t you dare” he said cheekily
Your eyes got big and you laughed a little.
“Smile!” Prompto said raising his camera, snapping a pic of the gang all cozied up together.
They had distracted you from the storm, they made you feel loved and safe, you heard another loud crack outside and shuddered.
Gladio noticed and starting talking as loud as he could in his booming deep voice, he started telling a story, one at the expense of Noctis.
Ignis held you close and stroked your hair and kissed your head frequently as you all listened in on Gladio’s story of the time Noctis got drunk for the first time.
You ended up falling asleep with a smile on your face listening to all the boys telling embarrassing stories of each other. You awoke the next morning to birds singing outside and the sun shining through the open door. The only one left asleep was Noctis who was at your feet.
You stood up and stretched and walked outside, the cold breeze sending chills up your spine. You saw the boys all loading up the Regalia, except for Ignis.
You felt strong arms wrap around your middle and a warm breathe on your neck
“good morning my princess” he tickled your ear
You turned and looked at him and planted a kiss on his lips, your kiss telling him how much you appreciate him.
“Thank you” you whispered about last night to him and kissed him again
“Yo! Love birds! Let’s go!” Gladio roared as he walked up the hill
You two broke the kiss and your face blushed, you stepped away from Ignis and grabbed his hand.
“Who’s turn is it to wake prince grumpy?” Prompto asked as he peeked inside the shack
You laughed and touched your nose
“nose goes!” You yelled walking away down the hill
Prompto swiftly touched his nose and Ignis already had his on his nose as he followed closely behind you.
“It’s up to you Gladio” Ignis mused “and be quick, we have a carnival to go to”
(I did not make that gif) Pairing: None really but I guess you could view it as Tony Stark x Reader Word Count: 784 Warnings: Description of a panic attack. A/N: Okay guys, time to get serious. So I have severe panic disorder and moderate clinical depression. Before I was medicated I would have at least one panic attack daily. If you routinely have panic attacks, you are not alone. Don’t be afraid to get help. Stay safe my friends, and enjoy. xx
Summary: You were a good girl. So how did you end up as the other woman?
Word Count: 3894
A/N: Thank you for the overwhelming responses on the previous chapters! Your sweet messages brightened my weeks <3 As always, I don’t mean Danneel any harm, no hate for that lovely lady. If you’d like to be added to the tag family, just hit me up!
“Jared! Misha! What are you doing?!” a yell came like a booming bark, startling the three of you like scared rabbits. Misha froze, Jared’s smile faltered and you turned to face the person responsible for such reaction.
Much to your surprise, Clif Kosterman stood before you three, strong and tall as ever. He was Jensen’s bodyguard and you had only every spoken to him at parties where he was forced to be pleasant. You knew he did not earn a reputation as a cold man without a reason.
His gaze fell like an act of violence; you swore the look you got from the man could be the definition for glaring. Misha stuttered out, “No-nothing! Jared and I were just showing Ms. L/N how to – “
“It’s no longer L/N, Misha. With all due respect, you shouldn’t be dragging her out here without informing me,” his tone ice cold.
Wait. Why are all of them here suddenly? You were trying to put the pieces together in your head. Last you remembered you did not need anyone’s permission to roam about your own property.
You cut your self-debate short to focus on what Clif was saying, feeling guilty for the other two. Awkwardly, you stepped forward in front of Misha and Jared with an apologetic expression.
“I-it’s not their fault. I agreed to this, really!” you defended the two. You were timid in his imposing presence. His icy cold gaze fell back on you, unlike his friends, he didn’t let up with the harshness.
“Sorry, missy. I’m afraid you cannot be running off shooting guns without proper supervision”
“Wha – “
“Come on now, Cliffy. You didn’t think we were capable enough to take care of one girl?”
“Don’t call me that!” You swore you saw a vein ready to pop on his forehead. He ran a hand down his face and sighed exasperatedly. “Even so, missy here cannot be put in any situation that may harm her. She’s a girl for goodness sake. Who in their right mind would – you know what I’m not gonna argue on this”
“Anyway, I’ve been looking for her for a good hour now. Next thing I know I find her shooting off cans with two idiots.”
Jared tried to defend himself but only done himself cut off by Clif’s glare, daring him to speak up. Here you are, feeling awkward again. You messed up, somehow. You had gotten Misha and Jared in trouble, surely Jensen would find out about. Which adds up another reason for him to hate you for.
“Mr. Ackles’ looking for you, missy” Clif stated.
“J-jensen?” Your eyes snapped up in shock. No way?
Imagine you are Jax’s sister and Opie’s Old Lady. One day your abusive ex boyfriend finds you and things get violent because he wants you back, but the boys come to save you.
The first time you saw him you managed to convince yourself that you imagined it. You were out grocery shopping by yourself and you thought (just thought, there was no way he could be real) you saw him in the store. You turned to look properly but he wasn’t there, so surely you had to be seeing things; he was just some figment of your traumatised imagination.
The second time you saw him you were with your brother Jax. You could’ve sworn he was standing right across the road, watching you like a hawk watches it’s prey. His stare made you shiver but like hell you were going to cause a scene by telling Jax. You thought that you must’ve been going crazy because there was no way he was out already.
The third time you saw him there was no getting out of it; no way to convince yourself that you were just going crazy because he was there. You had just come home from the Club, Opie had offered to drive you home but you knew he wanted to hang out with the guys for a little longer so you insisted he stay there. You were a big girl (with a gun no less, and not only was your husband a biker but your brother too) after all, you could get yourself home safely.
The minute you got home you regretted your decision. God, how you wished Opie was here. The front door was unlocked and you never leave your door unlocked. Besides, you know a picked lock when you see one and this definitely wasn’t opened with a key. Pulling your gun out of your bag, you prepared yourself to face the intruder. However, you didn’t prepare yourself to find your ex-boyfriend in your bedroom, your husband’s shotgun in hand. For a just a second you froze but that second was long enough for your ex to spin around and see you standing in the doorway.
Without a word, he lunged at you but you were quick enough to dodge him. You quickly cock your gun as he stands up. You blinked as you shot and a pained cry let you know you hit him. You opened your eyes to check the damage and saw blood pooling on his denim-clad thigh. As he lay on the floor clutching his leg, you ran into the kitchen and grabbed the phone.
You immediately dialled the number you knew by heart.
“Pick up, pick up!” You muttered when no one picked within the first few rings.
“Hello?” Your Old Man’s comforting voice greeted you. You were suddenly aware of how scared and vulnerable you were.
“Ope,” you greeted and your voice wavered. “You have to come home, please!”
“Baby? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” He asked sounding worried.
“He’s here, Opie. He’s out of jail.” You glanced behind you just long enough to see him clock you in the face with the butt of the shotgun. The man’s face looming over you was the last thing you saw before you blacked out.
You were woken by the feeling of ice cold water hitting your face and running down your back. Your eyes opened in surprise and you gasped out loud.
“Look who’s finally awake.” his deep, menacing voice said.
“Wh-What are you doing here?” You spat at him, you were trying to act strong but your stutter betrayed you.
“What do you think? I’m here to get you back.” He told you. You felt bile rise in your throat.
“I’m with Opie now; we’re married!” You told him, the feistiness growing in you. “And even if we weren’t, I’d die before I took you back.”
His face twisted into an ugly frown. He raised his arm and smacked you across the face. You let out a pained yelp; your cheek felt numb and you knew it would be swollen within the hour.
“Don’t make me use force,” he said, pulling at his own hair. “I don’t want to have to hurt you.”
“You hurting me is why I left and why you were thrown in jail!” You screamed at him.
He backhanded you one more time and with a growl you lunged at him, only to find that you were tied to the chair.
“You’re sick!” You mutter, disgusted.
He yelled out.
“I’M NOT SICK! I LOVE YOU!” He knelt in front of you and grabbed your face in his hands. You heard the sound of engines outside but they were drowned out of your mind when your ex leant in and kissed you. You groaned in protest, keeping your mouth closed tight. All of a sudden he was yanked away from you. You looked up and saw Opie holding your ex tight by his hair. You had never been so glad to see your husband.
“Get the hell away from my wife.” Ope said menacingly before he slammed the other man’s head into the dining table.
Opie ran over to you, kissed you quickly and then made work of untying you. From the corner of your eye, you saw a furious Jax storm in, Tig, Happy and Chibs trailing behind.
Once fully untied, you flung yourself into Opie’s arms.
“Are you okay?” He asked, stroking your hair lovingly.
Still in shock, you just nodded.
“Good,” Ope said before he picked you up and set you carefully onto the kitchen counter. “Stay up here, okay?”
“Okay.” You managed to say. One more kiss was planted on your cheek and then you saw Opie’s eyes flash with anger and he turned back to where the boys were beating the living hell out of your psychotic ex.
They parted like the red sea when Opie appeared. He and your brother shared a meaningful look. Jax nodded and headed over to you.
“You alright, sis?” Jax asked. He was obviously trying to distract you from your husband kicking a man in the head right in front of you.
“I’m okay,” you told him, your gaze flickered to Opie and the bloody man on the floor and then back to Jax. “Just get rid of him.”
Tig and Happy each grabbed an arm and dragged him out of the room and into another where you couldn’t see him. Opie soared a look at Jax and you and followed them into the room. Chibs nodded his head toward you and told you not to worry. You gave him a nod and leaned into your brother’s side. You heard a small yelp, then muffled yells, then something that sounded like someone gasping for air.
And then silence.
Opie was the first one to rejoin you and Jax. Followed by Tig, Happy (with your ex’s body slung over his shoulder) and then Chibs.
Opie kissed you sweetly and pressed his forehead to yours.
“He can’t hurt you anymore.” He whispered. A single tear rolled down your cheek.
“Thank you, guys.” You say to them all happily.
“Its what we’re here for, babe.” Tig smiled at you.
“No one messes with our girl.” Happy said and wrapped an arm around you.
“Ah, don’t cry lass.” Chibs added and placed a kiss to the crown of your head.
“I wouldn’t be a very good big brother if I let some scumbag hurt my little sister, would I?” Jax said, smiling, and ruffled your hair.
Opie grabbed your hand tight. You squeezed it assuringly. You felt safe and for the first time in a long time, you felt free.
“You look fantastic, Y/N,” Calum softly compliments, his almond eyes twinkling at the sight of you. His hand snakes upon the clothed table to place it on top of yours lovingly. A candle sat in the middle of it all, with a flame lit and dancing to its own music. Two plates, one for each, was ornate with food you made.
“You’re not looking so bad yourself, Hood,” you reply, staring at the boy admiringly. Your bottom lip was found between your teeth as you nibbled in adoration. His calloused thumb rubbed the top of your hand as he smiled. “I can’t believe it’s been one year.”
“The voice you hear your thoughts in is your soulmate’s but you don’t know who they are until you hear them speak for the first time.”
A/N: Enough with the angst! (JK, can’t promise you that) BUT, this part…well, just see for yourself and let me know how/what you feel/think! Also, thank you so so much for the support, it truly makes me happy knowing you all love/like reading this–especially that you love/like my writing! Means a whole lot and I love you all so much :) [GIF NOT MINE]
Let’s think this through: you were having a pretty decent night, only to have a fire erupt in your house that lead you to realizing your parents had left you alone. Then there was the fact that Kylo Ren had saved you from the catastrophe only to wake up amongst the First Order on their new base. Following that, you found out your soulmate was no other than Kylo Ren–that scared the shit out of you. Of course, you then found out he was Ben Solo, only to soon find out you had loved him once–him taking your memories away for your own good. Then you ran off to Hux’s room, stayed locked up for nearly four days, got out, got kidnapped, nearly died from a list of things…then saw Kylo die before your eyes. How fucked up was your life now? Did you deserve this because the life you had before was actually normal and stable, was life that evil to make things circle the drain in the span of ten days to get a taste of just how unpleasant it can be?
A/N: Okay but consider mafia au, where you’re running with ya gals. Dedicated to @hammerhead-cindy cause we discussed this lmao. I hope you like it.
How did you always get roped into these things?
You wove through the crowd at the club, slipping past waves of strangers to try and get to the bar. It was humid, stuffy, smoky, sweaty and fucking lit. Too bad you were present on business. The crowd was jumping and moving to some amazing beats that you couldn’t help but nod your head to. As soon as the beat dropped it everyone synchronised and began to grind with a loud approving roar.
“You guys just had to call on me tonight of nights.” You groaned as you finally made it to the bar and put your hands on it so no one could push you away. The bartender caught your eye and you gestured for a particular drink. Not that you were going to drink it of course.
INFORMATION FOR BEGINNERS SERIES, HOW TO MEDITATE, 10 TIPS
How to Meditate: 10 Important Tips
On one level, meditation is a tool.
It can help combat stress, fosters physical health, helps with chronic pain, can make you sleep better, feel happier, be more peaceful, as well as be more present.
But on a deeper level, meditation is a doorway into the unknown. It can help us get a sense of the mystery of who we are.
When you start meditating, you’ll notice how unruly the mind is.
I remember being quite shocked by this!
At first, my mind was all over the place.
Profound thoughts about my past or future jostled with mundane thought clips about what groceries I needed to buy. Some time afterwards I would come too and notice that I had spend 15 minutes running a painful memory over and over.
It was like sitting in a crazy cinema!
So, if you’re starting out with meditation, please don’t beat yourself up about your wild mind. It is a natural condition. In time you will learn to work kindly with the barrage of thoughts and you will find some clarity and peacefulness.
Here are some simple tips on how to meditate. .
Whether you sit on a chair or cross-legged on the floor, make sure that your spine is upright with head up. If you are slumped your mind will drift. Mind and body are intertwined. If your body is well-balanced, your mind will also be in balance. To straighten up, imagine that your head is touching the sky.
Try and keep you eyes open. Open eyes allow you to be more present. Just lower your eyes and let your gaze be soft. If you close your eyes you will be more likely to drift away on thoughts and stories. However, it’s important to do what is comfortable for you. Some people find closing their eyes much more effective. It’s good to experiment and see what feels best for you.
In ordinary consciousness we are hardly ever present. For example, sometimes we drive the car on autopilot while being preoccupied with thoughts. Suddenly we arrive at our destination and don’t remember anything about the drive!
So, meditation is a wonderful way of waking up to our life. Otherwise we miss most of our experiences because we are somewhere else in our mind! Let’s take a look at what focus is. In ordinary life, we tend to equate focus with concentration. That’s like using the mind like a concentrated beam of light. But in meditation, that kind of mind isn’t helpful. It’s too sharp and edgy. To focus in meditation means to pay soft attention to whatever you place in the centre of awareness. I suggest using the breath as a focus. It’s like a natural door that connects ‘inside’ and ‘outside’. Zen Master Toni Packer says:
Attention comes from nowhere. It has no cause. It belongs to no one
3. The breath
Paying attention to the breath is a great way to anchor yourself in the present moment. Notice your breath streaming in and out. There’s no need to regulate the breath – just let it be natural.
4. Counting you breath
If you are having difficulties settling, you can try counting the breath – which is an ancient meditation practice. On your outbreath, silently count “one”, then “two”, and up to “four”. Then return to “one”. Whenever you notice your thoughts have strayed far away or you find yourself counting “thirty-three”, simply return to “one”. In this way, “one” is like coming home to the present moment. It’s good to return without a backward glance.
When you notice thoughts, gently let them go by returning yous focus to the breath. Don’t try to stop thoughts; this will just make you feel agitated. Imagine that they are unwelcome visitors at your door: acknowledge their presence and politely ask them to leave. Then shine the soft light of your attention on your breath.
It’s difficult to settle into meditation if you are struggling with strong emotions. This is because some emotions tend to breed stories in the mind. Especially anger, shame and fear create stories that repeat over and over in the mind. Anger and shame make us keep looking at past events of the past. Fear looks at the future with stories that start with, “What if…”
The way to deal with strong emotions in meditation is to focus on the body feelings that accompany the emotion. For example, this could be the tight band of fear around the chest or the hot roiling of anger in the belly. Let go of the stories and refocus on your body. In this way you are honouring your emotions but not becoming entangled in stories.
Silence is healing. I know that there are is a lot of ‘meditation music’ around, but nothing beats simple silence. Otherwise the music or sounds on the tape just drown out the chatter in your mind. When we sit in silence we actually get to experience what our mind is doing. There is steadiness and calmness that comes from sitting in silence. In time outer and inner silence meet and you come to rest in the moment.
Start with 10 minutes and only sit longer if you feel the length is too short. Don’t force yourself to meditate longer if you are not ready to do that. In time you might like to extend your meditation to 25 minutes. That’s a length that allows you to settle your mind without causing too much stress on your body. Most importantly, shrug off any ‘shoulds’. Some people enjoy sitting for an hour at a time. Others find that they can’t sit longer than 10 minutes. Do what feels right for you!
It’s lovely to create a special place to sit. You can even make a shrine or an altar that you can face when you sit in meditation. You might like to place a candle on your altar and objects that have meaning to you. It’s lovely to find objects for your altar as you walk. Maybe you find stones, or seashells, or flowers that speak to you.
Most of all, it’s important to enjoy meditation. You might like to try sitting with a hint of a smile. Be kind to yourself. Start sitting just a little each day.
Watch the video below to get access to the Meditation Resource Guide.
Warning: NSFW/SMUT. Jumin’s daddy kink is alive and well. Summary: Dinner with Jumin and MC.
She is always surprising him.
It is the little things that astonish him. The smallest gestures leave him staring at her in wonder. He once considered her out of reach because of her softness, but now his handprints brand every inch of her skin.
She is his. She belongs to him alone. She loves him. These things prove difficult for him always to remember.
It’s the music you
believe has related to you in the most humanly ways.
It’s the times you
cried in bed when everyone was asleep and dreaming.
It’s the times you
cried in the shower desperately hoping no one would hear your tears.
It’s the days you try
to understand your differences but question it all the same.
It’s the nights you
try to drown out the hurt in your mind by listening to other people’s words.
It’s the moments you
imagined a different life without all the pain you felt.
It’s the instances
you wished you didn’t care so much about everything.
It’s the fact that
even though you felt like this, you still wished them well.
It’s every assumption
that they had not wished the same for you.
After a while
everything became unbearable. You started disappearing from their lives as they
did in yours. Day after day your mind had confused itself with words of encouragement
and words of angst. Like everyone else, you had your high moments - when
everything fit into place and everything became okay - and you had your lows
- when you wished you could run away and disappear. However, in all those times,
you had always cared too much for the friends that were and the ones that hurt