dropping-friends

Keeping curtains drawn
avoiding sunlight
turning down invitations
junk food
inducing a smiley on my static face
I’m wallowing
my hermit ridden vampire macrocosm

That’s what Hannah calls it
my adorable friend
laying out bare naked truth
revealing that my ‘non French derrière’
is the wrong shape for the skinny Parisian dress

But this is not about dresses
or how much weight I’ve gained
but pointing out the obvious
when I’m not submerged in work
what kind of weirdo I’ve become

She wants to drag me to a club
watch me drown in an alcoholic blur
be the intoxicated idiot again
before romance ripped my mind

A wicked smiley
smirked across her face
said it was all a joke
we should take ourselves on a girlie date
go on a shop rampage
Liberties of London
be irresponsible with the Master Card
take tea and cucumber sandwiches at Harrods
get high on chocolate cake

Not sure which one of those
is more stupid?” I said

We tossed a coin
tails – drown in alcohol
heads – shop and drop
tails it was

We imagined
our crazy night

A deep breath
she sighed ….and said

Lets get high on cake”

(darcyellington)


Image: Holga: 3 Friends on Tube

anonymous asked:

I love that we can always expect Harry to show up to cafe habana...He totally has routines and goes through phases with faves, but that one has been totally consistent because of Cindy and Rande 😍 This is how he stays so grounded, he surrounds himself with such solid, supportive friends, it's so lovely 💕

Me too and I love that he always sits in the same table😌😄 I actually think he’s very consistent with the people in his life. Some people say he drops friends after a while but he really doesn’t. Not the close ones at least. We don’t maybe see him with Grimmy as much anymore but when he had a bday dinner in London he was sat opposite of Harry even though he was late to the party. He and Jeff are still as close as ever. He just spend some time with Ben’s wife. And Ben’s dad not too long ago. When he goes to Holmes Chapel he sees his good friends from before X factor. It’s so nice he has all these people who really care about him and have been on his side for a long time already.

STRESS AND TOXIC FRIEND HELP/PSA??

If you ever think that dropping a friend you can’t get along with anymore isn’t nice or dropping a “toxic” friend will hurt you more than them…

  • It will feel AMAZING when you do
  • You will cry later, but that is normal as you are probably mourning the good times before the rift in your friendship
  • There will be other friends
  • Friends come and go
  • It was NOT your fault for wanting to drop them as a friend nor was it their fault, sometimes it is their fault (Like in my case a little bit) but it’s usually nobody’s fault
  • You have a support group out there who will help you, whether it is more friends, or family
  • Don’t force it a meeting, just let the meet up happen naturally
  • If you ever start to feel guilty, please don’t, it is NOT. YOUR. FAULT. for 1) snapping at them, 2) you feeling uncomfortable around them now
  • You may or may not be the first one in a friend group to drop said friend, AND THAT’S OKAY!  It may feel awkward when they are around, and if it gets to be too much, just politely excuse yourself
  • MOST IMPORTANT
  • YOUR MENTAL HEALTH COMES FIRST!  DO NOT STRESS YOURSELF OUT BY TRICKING YOURSELF INTO THINKING IT’S AN OKAY FRIENDSHIP WHEN IT ISN’T!  GET HELP! GO SEE A COUNSELOR OR SOMEONE YOU TRUST WHO ISN’T A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER IF YOU CAN AND SEE IF YOU CAN GET HELP IN DE-STRESSING AND FINDING A SOLUTION!

I hope my list helps, even if it’s slightly biased or emotional :)

anonymous asked:

How to let go of my old friends completely? One of my old friend tried to throw me in some drama and it really pissed me off but we have two other mutal friends together and they're her best friend. I like hanging out with Willy though,

Hi there. :) thank you for coming to me for advice- I’ll do my best to help you out today.

Honestly, it sounds like to me that you’ve got some toxic friends and that’s no fun. I understand where you’re coming from and I hear you concerns. I have some tips for you on how you can see if you’re in a toxic friendship:

10 signs you might be in a toxic friendship:

1. You feel “some-timed”

2. You’re tired of trying.

3. You start to despise them.

4. You don’t even get a chance to speak.

5. You’re suspicious of the friendship.

6. You’re keeping quiet..

7. Your interests don’t match.

8. You don’t trust them around your man.

9. You never feel happy around them.

10. You’re tired of babying them.

If you see yourself having any of those warning signs, then you might be in a toxic friendship. Below are some helpful links:

Toxic Relationships:

Letting Go:

Once you’ve looked over those links, I have some general advice for you on how you can drop this friendship if that’s what you’re looking to do.

  • You have the right to preserve and protect your own joy. If your friend robs you of joy, it is an unhealthy relationship.
  • Don’t allow friends or family guilt you into staying in a harmful friendship. Consider your own well-being.
  • Remember to always think about how they would react to end the friendship as peacefully as possible.
  • Tell them why you don’t want to be their friend and don’t be scared to express your feelings.
  • If you need to break up with a friend, do it. If say, they only had one month to live, do NOT break up with them. Be there for them.
  • Break up with your friend in a firm, but gentle way.
  • if someone walks away from you let them go, your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you. It didn’t mean they’re bad people, it just means that their part in your story is over.

How to drop a friendship (tips)

  • Do not make a conflict where there isn’t one. As in, if the friendship seems to be on it’s way out anyway, and you’re naturally hanging out and talking with each other less, don’t tell them you don’t want to be their friend anymore. Just continue to make new friends and talk to them less and eventually you won’t be their friend anymore. You’ll save hurt feelings and stress, even if it takes a bit longer. Plus, there’s room to make friends again if you leave it off on a good note.
  • Make sure to get back anything you loaned to them before you stop being friends with them.
  • Eventually, if you hang out with other friends, you may eventually just drift apart.
  • If she/he tries to apologize when you say your piece about ending the friendship, say something like “Sorry, but it won’t make up for all the bad things you’ve done, I would like to keep a distance.”
  • Talk about how awesome your friends she/he doesn’t like and then she/he will get the hint you don’t want to hang out.
  • After deciding to end a friendship, if you still see them at work, try and focus on doing your own business. It’s okay to move on and be happy.

Keep me updated? I’d love to hear back from you and see how you’re doing. :) xx

even MORE reasons to love deforest kelley:

• he didn’t know his first name (jackson) until he got drafted and saw it on his papers
• he played sports (football and baseball) in high school and very well
• he was the only kid on the team to show up in a sweater and tie for the team photo
• he sang in the choir at his father’s church as a boy
• once de had to drop off his friend’s little boy at the nanny’s house, and the boy cried when he left him so he asked never to do it again because he felt so bad for leaving him that he cried too
• he used to tease his girl friends about needing to leave. he would stroll through the bathroom, shaving, saying “weeeahve gotta hurrayyy gihrls” and was so pleased when they giggled at him
• when he was little, he regularly flattered his French teacher by saying “my, you look pretty today!”
• the day he left for long beach from decatur, ga, the newspaper published a small blurb about him and misspelled his name, saying “dr. forest kelley left thursday for california to visit his uncle herman casey in long beach”
• when he would eat out with his friends at the local diner, he forgot to pay attention to them because he would stare at his own face in the mirrors along the wall. he liked to see how different lightings or times of day had an effect on his features
• de and his best friend joe used to make fun of each other when they slipped into their respective accents (de, southern, and joe, new york)
• he once worked as an elevator jockey at a hotel and slept in the cellar
• he and his best friend stole his mom’s car and she found them smoking cigarettes and hanging out in a parking lot
• he trespassed into a movie set and ran into robert taylor, who encouraged him to move stuff around with the crew so people would think he worked there

How Nat & Tony would take to a friend going blind.

This is like a mix between a preference and one shot so I do apologise.

  • Nat worked out something was wrong on a mission. You were S.H.I.E.L.D’s best marks(wo)man. The enemy was getting away and you went to go and shoot them in the leg to stop them but missed by a few feet. Devastation filled you and you dropped you gun as you watched them get away. You didn’t mean to but tears spilled from your eyes.
  • “(Y/N)? (Y/N) what’s going on?” You head Nat as she spun you around and brought you in for a hug. Never had she seen you become so scared and emotional and it terrified her. She took your arm and led you out of the facility and far away to where you could talk. When you told her that you were slowly going blind she looked at you in shock and then once again hugged you. The events of the day had worn you out so you eventually fell asleep in her arms.

  • “You don’t understand. I’ve never seen (Y/N) so scared and sad.” Nat repeated to Tony who was in his lab updating his armour. He was listening to Nat speak about you, she was worried on your behalf and she knew how much Tony loved you. “Is there not anything we can do?” She plead.
  • “I’d have to run some tests to see if I could create something that would allow her/him to see again but I don’t think that would be too fun for anyone. Besides I…” He paused and looked Nat straight in the eye. “Make a list of the top five most beautiful things ever. We can take (Y/N) to see them. Anywhere, it can be across the world for all I care because we can take the jet.”
  • And so they did, they took you too places you wanted to go and places they thought were beautiful. Both of them made you feel like royalty, spoiling you and taking a record breaking amount of selfies.

Bonus:

“Here,” Tony gave you a piece of paper with someones number on it when you all finally came home. You took it and looked at him puzzled.

“I already have your number?” You raised a brow in confusion and tilted your head in confusion.

He chuckled, “I know you do. You don’t have his though. His name is Matt Murdock though you might know him as Daredevil. I think he’d be able to help you. Give him a call.”

thoughts on stranger things: I’m honestly so glad that nancy ended up with steve in the end?? like I’m so fucking sick of the tired movie/tv trope of “smart pretty girl is lovestruck by popular douche guy, popular douche guy does douche thing and smart pretty girl is hurt and runs to uncool misunderstood guy who’s been waiting for her the whole time and she realizes what she’s been missing.” its honestly so shallow and overdone and when i originally saw it coming in this show i was boutta be sooo disappointed. steve had a moment of being a shallow douche by allowing the spray painting thing to happen and being a dick to nancy but he dropped his crusty ass friends and basically got on his hands and knees for nancy afterwards. jonathan on the other hand like low-key stalked her for a night?? and took pictures of her through a bedroom window while she was losing her virginity??? did we all just collectively forget about that?? like hes a good character but naw. nancy and steve are good and i was so proud of stranger things for breaking that stupid cliche. 

10

Caught off guard: who startled who  (Part 1 of 2)

At 11:15 am, Freshman, Brandice ‘Brandi’ Helling accompanied by her friend, Freshman, Lauren Waterbury, took a bathroom break and then went to call their moms on the pay phones near the drinking fountains in the front entrance lobby area. She was engaging her mother in conversation when she noticed an unidentified male student running from the west down the main hallway and out the main doors around 11:17 a.m. Brandi recalled hearing “popping” noises coming from the west end of the main hallway, describing them as being firecrackers that were definitely in the upstairs area of the high school.  She recalled several more students running down the hallway from the west end of the school and heard one yell “Somebody has a gun, get out!”  

Brandi not knowing what was going on, started to walk north down the hallway and that her friend Lauren dropped the receiver on the phone and went to the women’s  restroom.  Lauren later came back out and picked up the phone to continue to speak with her mother (her mother was on the line the entire time).  Brandi was north down the hallway, from Lauren’s position, near the counselor’s office.  Brandi then described hearing someone running down the hallway and that a white male came down the hallway and stopped abruptly near Lauren’s position at the pay phones. Lauren described this male as being very tall, wearing a long coat, had some type of black hat on and that his coat was pulled closed.  Brandi described the individual as appearing surprised to see Lauren there and Lauren’s presence surprised the individual so bad that as he was running down the hall he actually came to a screeching halt.  Brandi described the individuals footwear actually made some type of noise on the waxed floor as he stopped. 

Brandi stated that she knew it was Dylan Klebold but she did not know his name until after she saw media reports. She knew Dylan previous to this incident as being a student but she didn’t personally know him or know his name. She described Dylan as having an unidentified weapon in his right hand. The weapon was pointed at the floor and he was looking at Lauren.  He initially had a surprised expression on his face, then he started to smile.  Simultaneously, at this point, Lauren had turned and also saw Dylan standing just south of her at which point she dropped the receiver of the phone and started to run towards Brandi.  Brandi again saw several students running down the hallway toward the direction of the main office. Dylan looked toward these students, raised his weapon and then started firing down the hallway in the direction of the main office.  Brandi stated after this, she didn’t turn back, she just ran north and exited the northwest doors just across from the counseling office.  Brandi explained that as she was going out the doors, she heard the sound of gunfire and heard what sounded like either the pay telephones being shot or the glass doors near the main office being shot. She stated that when she exited the school, she could tell Lauren was running behind her, but once she got out of the school she lost sight of Lauren. Brandi ran north towards the baseball field and a friend of hers helped her over the fence. She then went to Clement Park where she later found Lauren.

In Brandi’s recollection, as she initially saw Dylan Klebold and after she observed him register Lauren there at the payphones, that she briefly made eye contact with him she knew she was in trouble and that’s why she turned and started to run out of the school. She later mentioned she couldn’t look at Dylan because she feared she would see him raise the weapon and shoot her and her only recourse was to attempt to get out of the building.


Part 2 to follow:  Lauren Waterbury’s account of events.

photo credit: tecnine

I don’t know if this is an INFP thing, but feeling as much as I do, I don’t open up to people very easily due to the fear that I might be overwhelming. I hold a lot of my feelings in because I don’t want to feel like I’m burdening other people with my issues. I have had so many friends that vomit their feelings and problems onto me, but when I need someone to hear me out I get told that the friendship is one sided because I talk about myself. I don’t understand this and it hurts my feelings because I’d drop anything for my friends, even when I know they wouldn’t do the same and yet I get called ‘self-absorbed’.
—  Submitted by losstinourthoughtss

anonymous asked:

1/? i ditched one of my friends because she's kind of manipulative and horribly rude but i don't think she really knows she is or means to be and i went on her tumblr and she posted about me (i think) and i feel horrible and i don't want to go back

2/2 to her and get treated bad again but i feel so guilty and i don’t known what to do… she apologized and asked for me back a while ago when the same situation happened and said she’d try but she never did…

—————————————————-

Hi darling, hope you’re doing well and taking care of yourself. :)

I’m going to be honest here. Any person who is rude and manipulative to you, isn’t a friend in my book. Friends are people who care about you and accept you for who you are and what you stand for. Friends are there for you, aren’t  rude or mean. They are good people.

To me, it sounds like your friend happens to be a toxic friend and in that case, I think its good that you dropped her as a friend. You don’t need someone in your life who wont treat you right or give you the peace of mind to be a good friend.

I have some tips on how you can talk to your friend about how you feel:

  • Find a place to talk where there are no distractions
  • Speak calmly and clearly. Avoid yelling and swearing
  • Give her examples of how you feel.
  • SHOW her how you feel
  • Allow her to speak her mind as well
  • Allow some time to pass if things don’t go as planned
  • Keep an open mind abput how you’re feeling. She might be feeling the same way.
  • Keep in mind her feelings about everything

I’ve found you some links too:

How to drop a friendship (tips)

  • Do not make a conflict where there isn’t one. As in, if the friendship seems to be on it’s way out anyway, and you’re naturally hanging out and talking with each other less, don’t tell them you don’t want to be their friend anymore. Just continue to make new friendsand talk to them less and eventually you won’t be their friend anymore. You’ll save hurt feelings and stress, even if it takes a bit longer. Plus, there’s room to make friends again if you leave it off on a good note.
  • Make sure to get back anything you loaned to them before you stop being friends with them.
  • Eventually, if you hang out with other friends, you may eventually just drift apart.
  • If she/he tries to apologize when you say your piece about ending the friendship, say something like “Sorry, but it won’t make up for all the bad things you’ve done, I would like to keep a distance.”
  • Talk about how awesome your friends she/he doesn’t like and then she/he will get the hint you don’t want to hang out.
  • After deciding to end a friendship, if you still see them at work, try and focus on doing your own business. It’s okay to move on and be happy.

10 tips on how to build stronger friendships:

  1. Choose friends wisely. You do not have to be everyone’s  friend. Choose to be friends with people who build you up, not tear you down.  Choose friends who inspire you and welcome you, not alienate and insult you. You  can’t choose the family you are born into, but you can choose your friends.
  2. Listen. Listen closely to what the other person is saying.  Let that person know that you hear them. Ask clarifying questions. Summarize  what you’ve heard. Though helpful, it does not always have to be through words.  Eye contact and body language are also important ways of showing someone you are  listening.
  3. Respond carefully. Think before you speak – especially if  you are angry. Sometimes, taking a moment to think about what you say before you  start blurting things out will spare hurt feelings and bruised pride. Also, when  friends feel like it is okay to be themselves around you, they trust you. Choose  your words with care.
  4. Avoid consistently giving advice or trying to fix all of your  friend’s problems. By all means, if a friend asks for your advice, give  it. They might want you to proofread an important email before it is sent out.  Maybe they are struggling with a relationship. Perhaps life is throwing them a  curve ball and they need your support or insight. Don’t wiggle your way into  every aspect of your friend’s life, telling them how to be the star of their own  show. Give them room to process things and make their own decisions.
  5. Play fair. Avoid trying to one-up your friends. Eventually  your friends won’t want to play with you anymore.
  6. Be authentic. Be yourself. Be honest. We all test our relationships by throwing something out there about our  true nature. We then hide behind a corner, head peeking out, waiting for the  response.  If someone can’t accept you for who you are, developing a  relationship with them will be hard. Don’t shortchange yourself by denying your  beliefs, values, and point of view, for the sake of fitting in. You won’t be  doing anyone any favors.
  7. Communicate openly and honestly. Developing communication  with a person can take time – and trust! Ask your friends what you can do for  them. Share what you have to offer. Don’t be afraid to let people know what you  need. Share what is necessary, but don’t dominate conversation. When a problem  arises, work through it together.
  8. Accept your friends for who they are. On your search for  friends who can accept your authentic self, keep in mind – other people are  looking for the same thing. We all want people who love us for who we are.
  9. Respect their choices. It is okay to disagree. If your  friend decides to make a move when you think standing still is the right thing  to do, let them do their thing. If you’ve given your advice and your friend sees  things differently, step aside. What your friend is doing might be right for  their life but not yours. They might be making a mistake, but if it doesn’t kill  them, maim them, or leave them in a coma, hopefully they can learn from the  experience. And, if it will kill them, lock them in a closet and don’t let them  out until they’ve forgotten why you trapped them in there in the first place.
  10. Be the kind of friend you want others to be for you. You  want friends who are honest, kind, compassionate, fair, not judgmental,  authentic, and intelligent.  Be that person first and you’ll be more likely to  attract that kind of friend into your life.

(source + more info here.)

How to Make Friends:

Keep me updated? I’d love to hear back from you and see how you’re doing and if my advice was helpful :) Take care and don’t forget to smile. You’re amazing!!

kids are so cute and precious but also I sort of hate them?? Because they’re loud and rude and messy, which are three things I really hate plus they’re pretty stupid and it’s really hard to have a coherent conversation with them

it slightly bothers me that I think I’d probably REALLY hate kids if I didn’t have like…a biological imperative to think they’re cute and want to protect them?? Like I have no choice over this???

I mean if I saw a little kid about to be run over or whatever I’d probably risk my own life to save them and like….HMMM….I did not ask for this set of priorities to be FOISTED upon me by the evolutionary need to preserve the young of the species

2

Will almost died last night. Joshua is a lot like Stephanie in that if he doesn’t get his eight hours then he will not be a happy camper. Thankfully things quieted down long enough for him to fall asleep, but if something like this happens again someone is going to pay.

About that last Bleach chapter..

There are no confirmed spoilers yet, but honestly, there is only one proper reaction:

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

I was a huge Bleach-fan some years ago, but with the last two arcs the manga went downhill so fast, can you actually really care about a proper ending?

Many of my friends dropped it mid-arc, my boyfriends wants to read the ending on some wikia and I was only speed-reading the last 10 chapters.

Tbh with you, I think an ending with no romance would make the most sense, because we didn’t have any real build-up, aside from some being-shown-together-in-panels. Everything would be forced by now, Ichigo and Rukia didn’t even speak to each other and Orihime was just hanging around for the last few chapters.

I can’t even feel mad, I am so indifferent about it.

text to meu amor 💕
  • nicole:i'm feeling so homesick, jon
  • nicole:here i am, sitting at home watching my country party like its 1999, and they are having the time of their lives
  • nicole:mi piña has the stars in his eyes looking at the fireworks and i can't even take him there
  • nicole:i want to go home... i just don't think i can...