dropping-friends

Not Funny - William Nylander

the ideal flirt-to-roast ratio in a relationship

for anon

lowercase intended

word count: 1003, I’m sorry :/

warnings: gets steamy @ the end, one curse

a/n: not so sure about this one either (or tumblr making it glitch out of format again). hopefully i’ll get back to writing longer imagines soon. i’m going away for the weekend and have nothing queued as of right now, but i’ll do my best to finish some more tonight and queue them up. of course, i’ll still be writing all weekend and on the long road trip :)

Originally posted by leafbabies

you babysat a lot as a teenager. it was your unofficial-official job, taking care of the little kids in the neighborhood. and you’d loved it.

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Got7 as shit my groupchat says v.5

Mark: “There’s nothing to expose because i’m a gentle person”

Jaebum: “kekekeke MY FOOT IN YOUR ASS BITCH”

Jackson: “My nana wants me to return these shorts i just bought bc “one wrong move ya big booty on display” “

Jinyoung: “me; slams my can of soda down in a quiet room to assert my dominance”

Youngjae: “I was like “Julie, that’s herbal essence not ice cream” “

BamBam: “d-d-d-d-drop the tots”

Yugyeom: “Friends who fap together stay together”

anonymous asked:

I think its funny how when you get into a relationship you drop your friends..

Wait…I’m in a relationship now? This is news to me? 🤔🤔🤔

Also to the person who sent this (I obviously know who this is) we stopped being friends because of how toxic the friendship was. You do nothing but sit there and scheme up something new to do to me. You’ve threatening me along with numerous others I’ve cared about. So why bother keep up a friendship with someone who more or less wants to destroy my life..? 🤔🤔

“You have to accept that some people are not made for deep conversations, or for holding you together when you’re about to fall apart, or for keeping you from unzipping your skin, or for talking you out of suicide, or to love you through the worst moments of your life. Some people are made for shallow exchanges, and ridiculous banter, and nothing more. And that’s okay. That doesn’t make them horrible people because they simply aren’t able to handle a storm like you. It doesn’t make you a bad person because you won’t divulge all the gritty details of your horror show. It makes you smart. You have to accept that there will be people that cannot give you what you need. It doesn’t mean they are not worth keeping in your life. You just have to figure out who these ones are before you’re disappointed. And you have to keep them at arm’s length. You cannot expect everyone in your life to understand, to be nonjudgmental, to get it. But that’s okay, because not everyone was made to impart wisdom, or wax-poetic, or speak on politics and the depravity of society, or discuss how crucial it is that the stigma of mental illness be abolished. There are times when you have to get away from all that heaviness. You have to. And you will need superficial conversation about Kim Kardashian’s arse, or a debate on the color of The Dress. You will need those ones. So don’t go round cutting people off and dropping your friends. You need people for all your seasons. You need people or you won’t survive this.”

—Anonymous, What my therapist told me this morning

“You have to accept that some people are not made for deep conversations, or for holding you together when you’re about to fall apart, or for keeping you from unzipping your skin, or for talking you out of suicide, or to love you through the worst moments of your life. Some people are made for shallow exchanges, and ridiculous banter, and nothing more. And that’s okay. That doesn’t make them horrible people because they simply aren’t able to handle a storm like you. It doesn’t make you a bad person because you won’t divulge all the gritty details of your horror show. It makes you smart. You have to accept that there will be people that cannot give you what you need. It doesn’t mean they are not worth keeping in your life. You just have to figure out who these ones are before you’re disappointed. And you have to keep them at arm’s length. You cannot expect everyone in your life to understand, to be nonjudgmental, to get it. But that’s okay, because not everyone was made to impart wisdom, or wax-poetic, or speak on politics and the depravity of society, or discuss how crucial it is that the stigma of mental illness be abolished. There are times when you have to get away from all that heaviness. You have to. And you will need superficial conversation about Kim Kardashian’s arse, or a debate on the color of The Dress. You will need those ones. So don’t go round cutting people off and dropping your friends. You need people for all your seasons. You need people or you won’t survive this.”

!!

—  tinkerbell03 
Your MC & Your Role As A Friend

everyone has “that friend.” which one are you? 

Aries MC // The Encourager. You have so much confidence and power in you, so you naturally find that getting what you want is just a matter of putting in the work. You will never let your friends fail and you are the person that they can go to in order to get hyped up, whether it’s before a job interview or the day of their wedding. You love to succeed and you feel like there is no better feeling than seeing them succeed with you.

Taurus MC // The Architect. For a Taurus MC, there is nothing more important than building on a solid foundation. You feel that it is your duty in whatever friendships you have to be the sort of glue that holds everything together, even if it gets exhausting at times. The truth is, you know that if you stopped, the whole building would collapse. You’re the recipient of late night phone calls that your friends keep finding themselves making, and you’ll never stop picking up.

Gemini MC // The Hookup. You constantly find yourself in this position of being used for something. Now, that’s not always a bad thing: in fact, you kind of enjoy having the upper hand in situations like this. People sort of depend on you to get them in to the coolest clubs or introduce them to that one guy that they couldn’t keep their eyes off of the entire night. You’re the social butterfly and the gift that keeps on giving. Your friends are incredibly grateful for all of the amazing things that you pull off for them.

Cancer MC // The Blanket. You cover your friends in warmth and love daily, they will never doubt how much you care for them. They look to you as a means of support and validation. The term “mom friend” is most certainly applicable here. You always come prepared: long car rides? You got this. A day at the fair? Water bottles for everyone! You treat your friends like your family, and because of this, you find it very difficult to let go when someone has wronged you. You want to heal the world and you want to heal your friends as well. 

Leo MC // The Influencer. A Leo MC’s ultimate goal in life is to be recognized for the work that they put in (and being recognized in general doesn’t hurt, either). As a friend, they are undeniably looked up to by the rest of the group. Others actually find it quite amazing how ambitious and generous Leo MC’s are. Their friends are their whole world, and they will pretty much drop everything when a friend is in need. They are pretty much what their friends refer to as “goals.”

Virgo MC // The Critic. While a Virgo MC’s worst critic is definitely themselves, they are also known as the analyst by those close to them. Your friends know that if they go to you for advice, they better expect to hear a no-bullshit, practical response. Now, despite what some may think, being critical isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, your friends rely on you to tidy up the messes that they make, whether they’re big or small. In reality, they know that you truly want to see them be the best versions of themselves and it all comes from a place of love.

Libra MC // The Mediator. An argument just broke out: call a Libra MC, quick! You don’t know how it happens, but you always end up being the one to break up fights and settle things amongst friends. You don’t understand why everyone can’t just act like adults and talk things out normally. In fact, you get really nervous when things escalate! However, you do actually enjoy having the title of the mediator; you appreciate the balance that you bring and so do your friends (even if they go back to arguing the next day!)

Scorpio MC // The Psychologist. Well, Kimmy just broke up with her boyfriend for the fifth time this week, and she’s coming to you for advice. Of course she is! As a Scorpio MC, you have a special gift. You find it very easy to step in to other’s shoes and feel what they are feeling. It’s not uncommon for you to know what people are thinking before the words even come out of their mouths. You almost creep yourself out sometimes with how much you know before you actually, well… know! Even so, your friends always look to you because you are a great observer and listener. 

Sagittarius MC // The Wanderer. You knew from a very young age that you were never meant to stay in one place; your friends know that as well! Because of this, you are constantly being called upon for 3 AM McDonalds adventures, 10 hour road trips, you name it. If there is travel involved, your friends want you there! You absorb knowledge like a sponge, and anywhere you go, your friends will surely follow. They love your care-free, adaptable nature and your ability to befriend others so easily.

Capricorn MC // The Skeptic. Truthfully, you have your shit together. And if you don’t right now, you’re planning to have it together by 4 PM next Monday. The point is, you always have a plan. You are cool, calm and collected in situations that others would normally fall apart in; for this reason, your friends look to you for reassurance. They know that you would never mislead them. You are a sort of big brother/big sister to your friends because you can smell bullshit from a mile away. You don’t take lightly to others messing with your loved ones.

Aquarius MC // The Teacher. Your friends have probably come to realize that you know a lot about a wide range of topics. So, it is only natural that they rely on you to educate them. Having trouble on school work? They come to you. Need to know where Kuwait is located on a map? An Aquarius MC has got you covered! You are unique beyond words and your level of dedication to learning is unmatched. Luckily, you know that your gift attracts some with ill intentions who will try to take advantage of your wealth of knowledge. Keep your real friends close, because you know the difference.

Pisces MC // The Psychic. It probably comes as no surprise to anyone that a Pisces MC’s true power lies in their ability to sense energies on all kinds of different platforms. Many have reported being able to communicate with those who have passed on as well. In their group of friends, this is who they are known as. The person that is extremely sensitive to vibrations. The spiritual essence of life is always within a Pisces MC, whether they know it or not. Their friends feel calm around them, because they know how to soothe so well.

 -Admin L

“Once, on one of the rare occasions when we did have a sleepover at Harrison’s apartment, Mark and his fairly ubiquitous friend Peter dropped by unannounced. It was about eleven o’clock in the morning, and it might have looked odd that I was there. Clearly I hadn’t just dropped by for brunch, as no scones or eggs were in evidence, and we didn’t appear to be running lines. Harrison, after letting Mark in, returned to the table we’d been sitting at, sat down across from me, took my hand, and pronounced solemnly, “We’re engaged.” It was hiding in plain sight, mocking the suggestion that there was anything going on; therefore, it couldn’t be true—a technique I like to use to this day.” – The Princess Diarist

RIVERDALE MEME.
episodes 1-4 / ( change pronouns as needed. )

CHAPTER 1: THE RIVER’S EDGE

  • “i’ve been thinking about us.”
  • “i’m asking you now if you love me.”
  • “of course i love you, ____. but i can’t give you the answer you want.”
  • “one summer can change everything.”
  • “it’s about following your heart, right?”
  • “as long as you don’t give up your passion.”
  • “eventually, there will be a reckoning.”
  • “that entitlement you wear on your head like a crown? it won’t last.”
  • “are you scared, ____?”
  • “don’t freak out. just trust me.”
  • “i’m breakfast at tiffany’s, but this place is strictly in cold blood.”
  • “he was looking for the girl next door. instead, he found me.”
  • “you wanted fire? sorry, _________. my specialty’s ice.”
  • “just… talk to her. it could go a long way. would have gone a long way with me.” 
  • “you are so perfect. i’ll never deserve you.”

CHAPTER 2: A TOUCH OF EVIL

  • “romeo and juliet are the exception, not the rule.”
  • “once again, fate throws us together.”
  • "sardonic humour is just my way of relating to the world.”
  • “what? what are you going to do?”
  • “i’m not. i want to be. i thought i could be. but it’s too much, too fast.”
  • “what do you know about it, _____? or about me, even?”
  • “he wasn’t perfect. but he always tried to do the right thing.”
  • “sometimes a friend is better than a boyfriend.”
  • “why don’t we both just do that bro thing where we nod like douches & mutually suppress our emotions?”
  • “is there something you want to tell me, pal?”
  • “did you & _______ kill him together?”
  • “i’m alone.”
  • “we’re not gonna hug in front of the entire town.”
  • “it’s like there was a train that was going to the rest of my life. & i just… missed it.”
  • “it is not my fault he doesn’t like you.”

CHAPTER 3: BODY DOUBLE

  • "spoken like a true good girl who always follows the rules.”
  • “i don’t follow rules, i make them. & when necessary, i break them.”
  • “nothing this bad was ever supposed to happen here.”
  • “you don’t want to slow down, do you?”
  • “they have zero remorse for the lives they destroy.”
  • “does he not know who i am?”
  • “i’d love to stay. but i gotta shake down an evil adventure scout.”
  • “not bad.”
  • “maybe i don’t know _______.”
  • “you came through for me. in a way no one else ever has before.”
  • “i would’ve done anything to protect _____.”
  • “i saw the way you looked at me. … you’re hiding something.”
  • “maybe we should slow it down a little.”
  • "she’s right.”
  • “would i have complete freedom?”

CHAPTER 4: THE LAST PICTURE SHOW

  • “where did you find all of this?”
  • “oh, i’m already there!”
  • “you’re right. i’m selfish, & i’m stupid.”
  • “make some room, outcasts.”
  • “what’s next, selling her hair extensions?”
  • “it’s off-brand & sends a false message about acceptance.”
  • “shut the hell up, or you’ll find out!”
  • “i just hate when people disrespect my cinematic experience.”
  • "i’ll figure it out. i always do.”
  • “you are not the things you said.” 
  • “you’re not stupid. this wasn’t your fault.”
  • “i have a strong inkling.”
  • “threatened, much?”
  • “i learned that from the nancy drew detective handbook.”
  • “if you really are my friend, you’ll drop this.”
Common errors made by Korean learners

Of course, nobody is perfect and mistakes are bound to happen. However, some errors seem to crop up very commonly when looking at or listening to sentences formed by non-native speakers. Let’s check out some of the most common errors!


되다’s spelling

Going to start heavy with something that even native speakers commonly get wrong. Depending on what follows the root 되, sometimes it remains as 되 and other times it changes to 돼. It’s pronounced the same either way, so spelling errors with this are super common. However, knowing which spelling to use is actually super easy. If the root 되 is followed by a consonant, it doesn’t change. If it is followed by a conjugation starting with 어, it becomes 돼. Let’s look at some examples:

  • 되다 + -겠 (consonant-starting) +어요(or other form of your choosing) = 되겠어요
  • 되다 + -ㅂ니다(consonant-starting) = 됩니다
  • 되다 + -아/어요 = 돼요
  • 되다 + -았/었어요 = 됐어요

NOTE: You might sometimes see 되다 conjugated as 되어요, 되었어요, etc. This is very much a written form, and you won’t hear conjugated 되다 spoken in this manner.


-에요? -이에요? -예요? Conjugating 이다

This is another common error, even among native speakers. Misspelling or misusing the conjugations of this verb is very easy to do because they ultimately sound pretty much the same when spoken. Let’s take a look at them.

  • -에요: This is not a valid conjugation of 이다. It’s just wrong.
  • -이에요: This conjugation is used when the noun to which it is attached—please, no spaces between the noun and 이다, ever!—ends with a consonant. For example:
    • 가방 + 이다 +아/어요 = 가방이에요
    • 집 + 이다 + 아/어요 = 집이에요
  • -예요: This conjugation is used when the noun to which it is attached ends with a vowel. For example:
    • 학교 + 이다 + 아/어요 = 학교예요
    • 문제 + 이다 + 아/어요 = 문제예요

While we’re at it, let’s look at 이다’s past tense -요 conjugations too:

  • consonant-ending noun + 이다 (past tense) = -이었어요
    • 가방이었어요
    • 집이었어요
  • vowel-ending noun + 이다 (past tense) = -였어요
    • 학교였어요
    • 문제였어요


있다가 vs 이따가

They’re pronounced the same, but they’re nothing alike in meaning! 있다가 is the verb 있다 with the connector -다가 on it. I don’t want to get too much into -다가 right now (I’ll do another grammar post on that later!), but for now we can say that 있다가 indicates that something existed or was in a certain state when something else happened at the same time. On the other hand, 이따가 is an adverb which means “later.” Simple, right? This leads into the next common mistake, which is…


이따(가) vs 나중(에)

One of my friends used to get so irate at me when I used these incorrectly! Thanks to him, I’ll never misuse them again >.> Both of these words can be translated as “later,” but the time periods they cover differ. 

이따(가) is a near “later,” like within the same day. So, suppose you’re on the phone with your friend in the morning making plans to meet in the afternoon. You can finish up your conversation by saying, “이따 봐!” Or maybe you’re promising you’re mother that you’ll finish up some housework after you meet your friend. You can tell her, “좀 이따 해 줄게요.”

나중(에) is a later “later.” You met up with your friend, and when it came time to pay for your lunch, they realized that they forgot their wallet at home. They offer to run back to their house to get their wallet and pay you back immediately, but you simply say, “나중에 줘도 괜찮아. (It’s fine if you give it to me later.)” This means your friend can give it back to you more or less at their convenience, even if it takes a few days.


덥다? 뜨겁다? 춥다? 차갑다?

덥다 and 뜨겁다 both mean “hot,” and 춥다 and 차갑다 both mean “cold.” However, that does not mean they’re interchangeable! It’s common to see Korean learners accidentally use the wrong “hot” or “cold” in the wrong situation. So, how do we use them correctly?

덥다 and 춥다 are both used when talking about the temperature around you or the weather. For example, a room with the heating turned up too high or Seoul in August would be 덥다, while a snowy winter day would be 춥다.

뜨겁다 and 차갑다 are both used when talking about the temperature of things that are… pretty much not the air around you. For the soup you burnt your tongue on, you can use 뜨겁다. For the ice cube that your immature friend dropped down the back of your shirt, you can use 차갑다. 


These are the main mistakes that I see people make (and that some of my friends have told me that they notice, as well). Hopefully you learned something new reading this post! If you’ve noticed that any of these is something you struggle with, work hard to fix it to keep building a strong foundation for your Korean studies.

As always, happy studying~

Soulmates

Pairing: Harry and Y/N

Word Count: 1600

Prompt (AU) : Harry took his anger out in sex-and you weren’t supposed to do that. He would go to the bar and find others just as terrible and lonely as him, drink, and then sink his sorrows into anything with breast and a hole were to put it. Niall always rolled his eyes the next morning and say to Harry “you’re a proper dick, yeh know that right?”, to which Harry would lift his middle finger up and respond with, “if soulmates are real she would love me anyhow.”

“Harry when you meet her your life will change,” Anne says, handing him a cup of tea.

Harry rolls his eyes, “I don’t care to meet her. It’s all bullshit,” Harry grumbles.


Y/N was never much of a talker; she had maybe said eight sentences in her whole life time. She wasn’t sure where the fear really came from, the fear of saying the wrong thing, of being too loud, of not being heard, so she kept to herself. People didn’t seem to understand though, they couldn’t comprehend why she chose to not talk, so she was labeled as weird, freak, stupid etc. Then they labeled her as mute (and she was) but she hated that term, she really did, Y/N just hated being labeled. At first it hurt, it really did, but Y/N soon learned to ignore them, she could only really care about what her Soulmate would have to say, and deep down a part of her wished that they were like her, quiet.

Soulmates, Y/N had been waiting for hers for a long time. She could remember sitting in class in fifth grade, when the teacher explained the process. She explained how everyone was born with a mark, a mark that only their other half had and she made them find that mark. Y/N’s was on her wrist, it was small, and lighter than her regular skin color, she wasn’t sure what it was at first, it just looked like a stick. But the teacher explained how the mark gets more detailed as they get older and closer to finding their person, and Y/N had noticed how that mark slowly grew into a small flower, a petal or two still missing.

Her teacher explained how every person was made for the other, and that they would feel their soulmates emotions, pain, negative thoughts, happy thoughts. They were connected and no matter what the other would always feel what their person was feeling. Y/N had learned that her person always seemed to be grumpy.

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vernon; the boy next door (m)

genre/warnings: fluff/romance/smut, flangst, adorkableness, use of non-penetrative sex toys, (not so) dry humping

word count:  14737

feat: Hansol Vernon Chwe/Original Female, Joshua, Jeonghan + various 

prompts: roommate!Vernon, silliness, cuddles, mac n’cheese = love 

(a/n) my birthday project for my muse. thank you for everything vern:) and kisses for @vernkn​ who gifed my soft sweater vernon aesthetic. enjoy!

She loved Joshua Hong.

When she was so graciously offered to live in her aunt’s vacation penthouse close to her university of choice, the only catch was that she had to pay some of the bills. Completely fair, because it was a kind enough gesture to give away a freshly furnished space to a niece you barely talked to. Luckily, there was enough room for another guest, enough to split the rent.

So in comes the savior of her life, brother from another mother, Joshua Hong, decked out in sandy beige Sperry’s and ironed white jeans. Fresh from South California, he wore their sunshine on his smile, and their attitude in his Cheshire eyes. He was attending the same university as well, and was conveniently looking for a means to stay. Needless to say, she pounced on him at orientation before he could ask anyone else.

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Each house when: they have to defend their friend
  • Gryffindor: Drops everything, rips shirt off, dramatically pulls the Gryffindor sword out of the Hat and throw themselves into the battlefield. BRAWL TIME
  • Hufflepuff: The Yellow Defense Squad™ will stare at the attacker in a judgmental fashion with its countless pair of eyes until the flames of shame and regret devour their heart and make them produce an apology. If the former happened not to be sufficient, however, expect them to call the person out on their bullshit in a rather harsh manner. Badgers Brotection Squad.
  • Ravenclaw: Will make the attacker regret to ever have forced them to get involved in a fight. First degree burn to be expected. Ravenclaws are also the absolute masters of the *grabs arm* *stares in disdain* “Let’s get out of here” move. Sharp and efficient.
  • Slytherin: Will make it an existential quest to personally annihilate the attacker’s day (with sass), reputation (with sneaky snarky remarks), friendships (with outright bitching) THEY WILL STOP AT NOTHING. HOW DID THIS FILTHY HORRIBLE DESPICABLE ATTACKER DARE BREATHE THE SAME AIR AS THEIR PURE PERFECT INCREDIBLE FRIEND-

anonymous asked:

May I point out that Harry has been best mates with Nick Grimshaw, an openly gay man, for years. Tons of people generally speculate about their relationship. Many ship it. Many write fan fiction about it. Harry has never distanced himself from Nick. His last tweet to Grimmy was a thank you with 'I love you'. Harry Styles would never drop a friend because of 'gay rumours'. (Neither would Louis)

:)

Yesterday, we stopped in Santa Monica on our way to drop off a friend at LAX. From street performers to screaming children & their stressed parents, West Los Angeles is known for its eclectic & creative entertainment. Next to the captivating coasters and cluttered coastline, was a particular performer that struck our attention. “Dancing Dave”, a middle-aged man in a shiny silver outfit, was dancing and singing to any song you suggest. When we walked up, he had attracted a group of high school boys who were helping him out–stealing the show even. They were being entirely themselves, having dance battles, laughing and cheering on Dave as he painfully attempted to sing and dance to overplayed songs. Without the boys, you could’ve counted the amount of people watching on one hand, but there were dozens of people admiring this hilarious group. It made our day, and we laughed so hard watching the boys have so much fun with Dancing Dave, and I bet it made their day too. 

I think something that interferes with choosing joy is getting caught in how cool we want to be or already think we are. Of the thousands of people on the pier, very few were straying from the crowd, and I don’t think this is only true of LA. On school campuses, out in public, or even around your family, the pressure to hold back or be glued to your phone is stealing the show. What if we believed that we were already cool just the way we are? and by being our true selves is the coolest way to live? Joy radiates from people when they are being entirely themselves, and it’s contagious, you may even get a crowd of people to join with. 

Each of us is created in the image of the one who created all the amazing things around us… how COOL is that? Each hair on your head, each freckle, each strange talent, is created by the same God that created the galaxies, the stars, the oceans, the mountains, the wild animals you see on Planet Earth… but he made us as his most unique creation. I hope we can sit in this truth and come to terms with the fact that you are the coolest person you know, and nobody can take that from you, because it was that way before you were even born. 

“Yet you, LORD, are our Father.We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” Isaiah 64:8

kaz and inej accidentally adopt a child and kind of reform ketterdam in the process?

because @mathiashevlr and i have been screaming about this for days, i felt it necessary to share this with everyone else

  • everyone knows that you should fear kaz brekker and inej ghafa. he rips apart businesses and destroys careers; she slaughters slavers and ruins their ships. but the kids? there are children out there that know kaz and inej are, in a way, fighting for them
  • kaz looks out for the kids that are like him and his brother. there’s so many other kids like kaz and jordie who were scammed and suffered just the same and never managed to get revenge like kaz could, but now? pekka rollins fled the city. he’s never coming back. kaz and inej did that, and it doesn’t bring back the lost families and money but it is satisfying as hell to know he’s had to lose everything, too.
  • so kaz comes across a kid who’s lost everything after being drawn in by promises of wealth and a new life. the kid looks at him, terrified, and then kaz says “it happened to me too”
  • this kid looks at kaz and thinks if he can do it then why can’t they? and seeing kaz as the toughest most terrifying barrel boss goes from something threatening to something empowering because it happened to him, and look where he is now!
  • at this point kaz and inej are in a steady relationship and they kind of, without meaning to, adopt this child because they have nowhere else to go and it’s better than ending up on the streets. (also kaz will never admit it, but he has a soft spot for this weak little child)

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The Aftermath: Bucky (ALiL Deleted Scene)

Summary: (College!AU): In which Bucky reacts to finding out how you feel about him.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 3,740

A/N: I couldn’t write the next part of this series without giving you at least one scene from Bucky’s perspective. I’ve been excited to write this since I posted the original “The Aftermath”. 

“A Lesson in Love” Masterlist + Soundtrack

@avengerstories - thank you for editing this on your phone, you’re the real hero today

Originally posted by kingsebastian

Forty Minutes Later

Bucky clutches his chest, trying to remove a dagger that isn’t really there. It feels like it is though. The look on your face before he left your apartment put it there.

It had to be done.

It had to be done.

No matter how many times he has repeated those words, his makeshift mantra, they don’t make him feel any better. How could they when he just did the one thing he never wanted to do? He broke your heart.

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Puns, lost in translation

Sometimes the true treasure of intergalactic relations are the puns you make along the way…

Let me start this story by saying that British English is a strange language. We have double meanings, homophones, homonyms and an almost unpalatable sarcastic use of the tongue.

Meet Gina. She’s a kitchen assistant in this story. She might make chef one day, if she cared enough.
Meet Hulu, He’s from a small planet near the Eagle nebula. He’s also a kitchen assistant, learning English as he goes.

Gina likes to dance, a LOT. More than is safe for most people. She’ll dance wherever and whenever she can, no matter what she’s doing! This isn’t to say she’s good at it, just enthusiastic. Hulu does not dance, he doesn’t really understand it, but wants to learn why so many humans do. Gina seems to be a prime candidate for explaining this (often terrifying behaviour).

One day, whilst preparing beetroot soup, she breaks into dance again, knives dancing across the board with her, scooping more veg into the pot. So Hulu asks:
“What drives you to dance all the time?”
Gina replies, “Why, it’s the beat man, you’ve got to feel the beat!”
“I don’t understand, you feel something when you dance…”
“Of course we do, you’ve got to feel it all the way and let the dance out!” With that last line, Gina picks up more vegetables, and boogies over to the stove. Hulu accepts that this is something he will never understand.

Next shift, Hulu is paired with head chef Boyle. This time, salad’s on the menu. The next question is where things go south…
“Hey Hulu, get the beets from the pantry”.
“Beets? I don’t know that word”.
“Beets, short for Beetroot, red root vegetable, top shelf”.

Now Hulu understands, to dance you need to feel the Beet! Gina dances her best when she’s cooking, that must be it! Armed with this new-found knowledge, Hulu goes out to the nightclub, well prepared with a bag of Beets. When the DJ says to drop the beet, he drops it! When his friends say they’re not feeling the beat at this club, he gives them a beet to help. They’re laughing, he’s having fun, surely he’s got it right!

Thanks to a poor grasp of English, and a kitchen misunderstanding, Hulu has created the greatest pun to ever hit that town, and he’ll never know it…