Duality of Man
Request: Can u please write Yoongi + 18.? I dont really like pain but I know you can write it really beautifully and stories like that are needed too and I think this theme fit Yoongi a lot :) Thank you for your amazing work and dedication to your fans ♡
18) Two mini fics in one: The first time you see your bias. The last time you see your bias.
Member: BTS Yoongi x Y/N
The first time…
You moved slowly and carefully across the room, cautious not to drop the box you were holding. The records housed in your arms shifted back and forth haphazardly, causing you to cringe as you moved. The speakers above you bumped a new artist’s mixtape, just loud enough to catch your attention. You grooved along, allowing your footsteps to move in the same rhythm as the song surrounding you. Your hands became steady as you carried the heavy box, giving you the steps you needed. That’s why you loved working at a music store, it always gave you some flow.
You bent your knees, attempting to find the table about a foot below your grip. Your knuckles finally hit the wood surface just as noise erupted in the front half of the store. You furrowed your brows, dropping the box in surprise, and completely slammed your fingers.
“Shit,” you hissed, sliding your fingers out, and instantly beginning to shake them in the air.
You shuffled toward the entrance of the stock room, moving the beaded curtain to the side to glance out. A crowd was beginning to gather on the sidewalk, but nothing in the actual store seemed to be concerning. You caught the eye of the cashier who only shrugged. If she wasn’t concerned, you wouldn’t be either.
You disappeared behind the curtain again and examined your fingers. You sighed, noticing one of your nails had begun to bleed. You groaned as you navigated to the bathroom and turned on the cold water. Immediately sticking your fingers beneath it, you were hoping for some form of relief. You cringed, a moan escaping your lips as the water stung the wounded area.
“Damnit,” you hissed. “Son of a bitch. Mother f-”
You turned the corner out of the bathroom and halted as soon as you did. Your eyes grew wide as a light haired boy stared back at you, his own eyes panicked. Your froze, your fingers still in the air, midway to your mouth. He began to shake his head slowly, bringing a finger up to his mouth as a signal to remain quiet.
You had several thoughts about the situation, most of them involving him being a burglar.
But were burglars that attractive?
Against your better judgement, you began to nod in return, waiting quietly in your spot.
A soft roar began to emanate from the front of the shop, it’s small quarters were quickly being filled by potential customers. You made a move to join your coworker, but the strange man caught you by the wrist.
“You don’t want to go out there,” he whispered huskily.
You opened your mouth to respond, only to close it again as your coworker’s voice cut through the noise.
“No, if you aren’t in here buying something, get the hell out! I don’t even know who the hell you’re looking for, but he’s not here!” your coworker shouted. “Out! Out! Shouldn’t you be in school? Do your parents know you’re here?”
“Who are you?” you asked, furrowing your brows as you focused on the could-be burglar.
“Not anyone worth knowing,” he hummed, exhaling a deep breath. He began to slide down the wall he was leaning against, plopping to the ground with a groan.
You crouched beside him and let out a chuckle. “Apparently, you’re mistaken.”
“My name is Min Yoongi,” he said after a moment.
“Where are you from, Min Yoongi?” you smiled.
“Daegu,” he nodded surely.
“Then what are you doing in Seoul if you’re from Daegu?” you continued to pry.
“Honestly, I don’t know anymore,” he sighed. “I do know that I am very, very tired.”
“Are you going to force me to google you? Or are you going to give me the whole story?” you grumbled, finally falling to the floor next to him.
He bit his lip, dropping his face in his hands.
“I’m not sure who needs to take out the trash here, but it ain’t me,” your coworker grumbled, sticking her head through the beads. “I just handled a rabid bunch of tweens, so you can see him out.”
“Right,” you nodded, taking a deep breath. “Give me a second.”
“No, give me now, help me pick up this mess,” she hissed. “Please and thank you.”
“She’s charming,” Yoongi muttered, sending a wary look over his shoulder.
“I know after experiencing how polite I am, you’re shocked,” you grinned. “But in all earnesty, if you don’t at least tell me why you are on the run, I’m going to have to kick you out.”
“I’m not a fugitive,” he sneered, squinting at your name tag. “Y/N.”
“I wouldn’t know,” you said with a small shrug. “So let’s get you out of here.”
“My name is Min Yoongi,” he repeated again. “Min Yoongi.”
“I’ve heard,” you hummed, pulling yourself up. You gripped at the hood of his jacket and gave a light tug. “Come on, Min Yoongi.”
“But I’m known by my stage names. Suga or Agust D,” he whispered, looking away from you.
“Suga,” you said quietly, tilting your head. You searched your mind for the name. “Suga…suga…BTS Suga?”
“BTS Suga,” he repeated with a small nod.
“I heard your mixtape,” you grinned. “It wasn’t bad.”
Yoongi let out a small scoff. “Gee, thanks.”
“That’s a compliment from me,” you grinned. “I’m not easily impressed.”
“Obviously,” he muttered. “They wrote an article about it for Billboard.”
“They write something about you in XXL? Vibe?” you teased.
He shot you a dirty look, but quickly grinned. “Do I look like Kendrick Lamar to you?”
“Nah, cause I would have known if he was hiding in my stock room,” you grinned. You sat back down beside him and hit his knee with yours. “That is a pretty big deal though. I mean…I don’t have an article about me written by anyone at Billboard.”
“Thanks,” he nodded, his smile fading to a smirk, but not disappearing. “I’ve worked hard.”
“It shows, dozens of teen girls stampeded into this place for you,” you nodded. “I don’t think half of them even know what records are to be honest.”
“I didn’t become a musician so I could hide,” he sighed.”Sorry, I don’t mean to take up your time. Who likes a stranger telling them their problems. I’ll just…uh…see myself out.”
He moved to lift himself up, but you yanked his wrist back down again. “The best thing about venting to strangers is they have no preconceived bias about who you are. So I mean…you can hide in the stock room anytime.”
Yoongi grinned and crossed his arms, searching your face for something you were unsure of. “Really?”
“No,” you chuckled, sticking your tongue out at him. “Get the hell out of my store.”
But really, it was only the beginning.
In the end…
You moved slowly and carefully across the room, cautious not to drop the box you were holding. A portion of your life lived in that box and you didn’t intend on dropping it. Just because you had chosen to end that part of your life, did not mean it was not important to you.
You shuffled through the silence, keeping your eyes cemented on Yoongi’s sleeping form. You were a coward, but you knew that. You never thought you would be the one sneaking away after an argument.
The argument to end all arguments.
When you and Yoongi were sitting on the floor in the stock room of the music store you had worked at, you had hearts in your eyes. As he vented to you about the woes of an idol and the duality of his personalities, you had listened with an attentive ear.
You hadn’t realized how that would impact your possible future with Yoongi.
But boy, did it.
You had never intended on entering a relationship with him. You had never intended on being together for as long as you had. But as time passed, you learned more and more about the difference between work Suga and at home Yoongi. And you were tired.
Just as tired as he was when you had first met.
It was 2 a.m. when he had struggled in that evening. You had left nearly every light in the apartment on, anticipating his arrival for hours. You slept sitting up on the couch, ready to strike as soon as you heard keys in the door.
Just because he was an idol, didn’t mean he got the pass to be an asshole.
“Whoa, for a minute I thought you had forgotten where you lived,” you yawned, wiping the sleep from your eyes.
“Can you not,” he grumbled. “It’s been a long day.”
“No kidding!” you gasped. “I have those too, but I mean, you wouldn’t know because you aren’t around to see them.”
“Look, don’t be a jerk,” he muttered. “Seriously, I’m not in the mood for it.”
You bit your lip and took a deep breath in. So maybe you were being harsh.
“You might not want to have this conversation right now,” you nodded. “But when are we going to have it, Yoongi?”
He dropped his bag by the door and made his way to the couch, falling beside you. He went to place his head on your shoulder, but you quickly moved away. “Y/N,” he grumbled. “Why are you acting like this?”
“The scary part is you think this came out of no where,” you whispered. “Why would I be acting like this?”
“I’m guessing because I’m not home to cater to you,” he muttered.
“Do you want to retry your choice of verb or are you going to leave it?” you asked, lifting your brows.
“Seriously, what do you want from me? I’m tired. I told you that,” he hissed. “But please, let’s argue after the day I’ve had. I really appreciate it.”
“After the day you’ve had, after the day you’ve had,” you repeated. “What about the day I’ve had, Yoongi? When do I get to peer out from behind your shadow?”
“It’s not like that,” he sighed.
“Then tell me what it’s like, please,” you nodded. “When we first met, you told me that your music was your first love. I understood. You told me that you had dual pieces to your personality. You had your stage presence, the person you were when you were working. Then you had your true self, Min Yoongi, the soft and considerate man I had in my heart. That part is a little bit harder to swallow.”
“The man you have in your heart…” he whispered. “So you don’t love me as a whole?”
“How am I supposed to?” you sighed. “When Suga of BTS literally is someone I’ve never gotten to know. I only know that he ignores me and picks just about everything over me.”
“I told you that I was career driven,” Yoongi grumbled. “Before we ever got into this. I told you how it would be.”
“And I was so in love with Min Yoongi that it didn’t even matter,” you said quietly. “I’m not saying you’re a bad person. I’m not saying your a bad boyfriend. All I’m saying is you could be more considerate. Suga could be more considerate.”
“I’m one person,” Yoongi sighed. “And I’m sorry, Y/N…but I don’t plan on changing things. I can’t.”
“No matter how self destructive?” you croaked. “No matter how relationship damaging?”
“Until I am ready to make a lifestyle change…I just can’t,” he whispered. “I’ll have to ask you to take it or leave it.”
And you were leaving it.
You slid one shoe on, followed by another, cringing as the floorboards beneath you creaked under your weight. Yoongi was a fairly heavy sleeper, so you weren’t really concerned about waking him. Heavy thoughts kept his head in the pillow, so it was your own paranoia driving the fear.
You took your supporting hand from the box for a moment, digging in your back pocket to find the one last thing that tied you to Yoongi.
You slid it from the denim and placed it lightly on the table near the door. You nodded to yourself as Yoongi shifted sleepily on the couch, but still not waking up completely. You bit your lip, attempting to keep the tears from falling, but failing miserably.
You tugged open the door, not caring if it whined as you did. You hurried through the frame and shut it behind you, shutting this chapter of your life as well.
You took the stairs by two, clinging to the buckling cardboard in your grasp as you moved like your life depended on it. You could make it back to your apartment in fifteen minutes if you walked quickly. Maybe in two or three blocks you could manage to calm down enough to call a cab.
Hopefully you could burn off energy and guilt in the walk.
You knew you were equally as fault. You didn’t want to work with Yoongi’s lifestyle just as much as he didn’t want to change it. Just because a man is an idol doesn’t make him any more or less of a human. And when it came down to it, if you had both grown unhappy in the relationship, it was time for it to end.
You just wish you had been brave enough to leave while he was there.
But as you went to bed that evening, he didn’t need to be told verbally. He knew you would be gone when he woke.
You took a deep breath as you stood on the sidewalk below the building. You paused for a moment, closing your eyes to internalize what you were actually doing. You exhaled, chancing a glance to the windows above, and instantly felt a pang of regret instead.
Yoongi’s silhouette stood firmly in the window, three floors up, in the same apartment where you had left him. He looked down at you, his pale hand pressed against the glass as a silent plea,
You cleared your throat, trying to inhibit the whimper beginning to choke your breaths. You shook your head slowly, barely able to make out Yoongi through your tears. Shifting, you balanced the box again, and placed one foot before the other. You looked back down to it’s contents and then up to the street before you.
This was over.
But really, it was only a new beginning.