If you had to drop out of high school for mental health reasons, physical health reasons, or to raise a child, do not listen to all this BS negative stigma around being a high school drop out. It can be a scary decision, and I am so proud of you for taking care of yourself. You are strong, and you are appreciated.
What do you do if you’re just not happy with your course?
This is a topic that I haven’t really seen discussed among studyblrs, and I would have liked a post like this when I was going through this; so I thought I’d make a post in case any of you are struggling with the same things I did.
There can be quite a few reasons that you might want to drop out, but make sure you know what the problem is so you can weight out the solutions.
The classes aren’t what you expected. Maybe you went for a psychology degree but you’ve realised that the subject just doesn’t interest you as much as you thought. Or maybe you didn’t get your first choice and you’re stuck in a subject that you really don’t feel passionate about. Maybe the classes are too big or too small or you don’t enjoy the way things are taught.
The university isn’t what you expected. This was a major factor for me - I expected something completely different, and I was surprised by how much the university resembled high school.
The classes are too difficult. If this is one of the major reasons that you’re contemplating dropping out of college, seek help first. Pretty much all students feel like they’re drowning in work 24/7, so speaking to other students about this, organising your work in a way that suits you and talking to your professors will be a huge help.
You’re just not cut out for college life. This is possible; a lot of people don’t feel comfortable with the pressures and academic aspect of university, even if they thought that they would enjoy it. Chances are, if you didn’t have a good high school experience, you may find it hard to continue the whole teaching/learning thing in adulthood. If you’ve really checked in with yourself and realised that college isn’t for you, then that’s perfectly fine. It isn’t for everyone, and you can still have a fantastic life without a college degree.
It’s too expensive. Maybe you went into college thinking that you could handle the debt, but you see it accumulating and you don’t think that the experience you’re having is worth all that money, or maybe your loan application got rejected halfway through your first term (which happened to me). You should talk to your university’s financial advisers before making any decisions, and look into grants and scholarships for the upcoming years if you haven’t already.
You want to do something else. If you’ve just started a philosophy degree and realised halfway through your first lecture that you’re destined to be a carpenter, follow your goddamn dreams dude. Bear in mind that you can always get your philosophy degree and then study carpentry afterwards, but if you feel like you’re getting a philosophy degree for no reason then yeah, consider dropping out.
Of course there are countless other reasons that you may be unhappy at university, but you have to be sure that the reason for your unhappiness isn’t easily fixed by talking to your tutor, or just getting away from it all for a while. I asked myself these questions repeatedly:
What is it about college that isn’t working?
Is there a solution that doesn’t involve dropping out?
Is being in college affecting your mental health?
How have you benefited from being there?
Why did you decide to do this in the first place?
What aspects of college do you enjoy? Are you ready to give those up?
Would you be happier in a different course (or a different school)?
Have you discussed the problem with your friends and family?
Is there another path that seems more appealing?
If something about college just doesn’t feel right, and you know it isn’t going to get better with time, then trust your instincts. Life is far too short to be stuck doing something that you don’t want to be doing. That may sound simplistic, but trust me, I’m now sure that dropping out of the college that I was in was the right decision. REMEMBER - dropping out does NOT mean you’re a failure. It means that you were brave enough to make this huge decision about your future and your happiness; it’s a very courageous thing to do.
If you're a drop out , I wanna say something to you.
I believe in you. I dropped out in 10th grade. I was depressed. Sad for 2 years. I then got my Ged. now I made almost $100,000!! I started my own business and I make more then the people who put me down and made fun of me.
‘Beloved master, working as a doctor, I was always in search of truthful methods, which were either logical, when they claimed to be scientific, or simply stated facts, which worked in a truthful way. I was always very forthright in challenging anything that seemed to be a lie, or simply stupid. I was amazed to find how much ignorance there was even in the medical profession, and enjoyed exposing this. The other night, when you said that between two people of the same profession there is always competition, I felt these words enter my heart like a sword. Is what I thought to be rebellion simply competition and arrogance?’
Devaprem, it is not your fault. We are brought up in such a way that competition becomes our very life. Our whole educational system is competitive, and our whole society is based on that competitive system. You have to be successful, and competition is the way. Unless you are successful, the society condemns you as a nobody, good for nothing.
This competitiveness enters into our very bloodstream, so we become absolutely unaware of its always being there. Even in the name of searching for truth, there is competitiveness: who finds it first, who becomes the pioneer, the founder, the discoverer. Even in a field like humbleness—which one would think is outside the area of competitiveness—even there you will find the same spirit, the same competitive egoistic arrogance; then you are competing to be more humble than anybody else.
I have often told the story about three Christian monks who met on a road. They had their monasteries close by in the mountains; they had become friendly and they used to meet.
One day they were sitting under the trees, in the shadow. It was a hot sunny day, and they started talking about their monasteries.
One of them said, ‘I don’t want to offend you in any way, but I must say the truth: that as far as scholarship is concerned, my monastery is the best out of all the three monasteries we represent here.’
The second monk said, ‘I have to concede, a fact is a fact, your monastery is certainly more scholarly; more attention is paid to knowledge. But you should never forget that as far as discipline is concerned, you are nowhere in comparison to our monastery. Our monastery is perhaps one of the greatest monasteries in the world; with such perfect discipline, asceticism, sacrifice, with a single desire to serve Jesus Christ and God.’
The third man said, ‘You are both right, but as far as humbleness is concerned, we are the tops.’
Even humbleness! As far as humbleness is concerned, ‘We are the tops, you are nowhere’—competitiveness has entered so deeply in us.
It is not rebellion, Devaprem, but only competition and arrogance. But whatever you have been doing, you can do far better if you drop competitiveness and arrogance; because all the energy that is involved in these will be released, will become available to you for rebelliousness.
You have to gather all your energies, which are divided into many, many parts and focus them into a single-pointed, arrow-like life. All has to be dedicated and devoted to rebellion; then too, you will be searching for the truth, but not with a competitive spirit. Then the search will be a sheer joy, without any comparison with anybody else. Then, too, you will be humble, but without any comparison, because comparison destroys your humbleness.
Humbleness simply means, I am nobody—and how can a nobody be at the top? Humbleness simply means, I get out of this horse race that is continuously going on in the society, for money, for power, for prestige, for knowledge, for saintliness. I am simply out of this routine; I am no more part of this madness, and this mad society. I love truth, I will try to find it; I love research, scientific or spiritual. I will do it, but my doing will be totally independent of anybody else, it will simply be my own love affair.
Devaprem, as far as I know you, you are a very simple and loving person. That’s why the realization came so quickly to you, and you were shocked. There are many people who are competitive, who are arrogant; they are not shocked. They have thick skulls and it is very difficult for anything to penetrate into their skulls. They have grown such buffers around themselves that whatever shock comes to them the buffer absorbs it, it never reaches them. You don’t have any buffers, you are a simple person, just like a small child. Hence, you immediately recognized that ‘What I thought to be rebellion was not so; it was only competition and arrogance.’
If people listen with love and simplicity, then whatever I am saying… just listening to it is enough to bring a revolution to your heart; you are not to do anything else. If you have heard it, it is more than enough; your vision, your perception is changed. The shock will do the transformation. But most people are in a real mess.
An old lady is so impressed by the sermons of the missionary, that she tells her friend, ‘Do you know,’ she said, ‘he can preach about hell as if he was born and reared in the place.’
Two little girls were going through their textbook on religious instruction. ‘I am past original sin,’ said one. ‘That’s nothing,’ said the other, ‘I am beyond redemption.’
Our so-called religious educators, our rabbis, our bishops, our priests are all so full of bullshit—in India there is a little difference, they are full of holy cow dung—that to reach them is almost impossible.
God gets the word up in heaven that the United States of America is a pretty depraved place. Not having time to spare himself, he sends Mother Teresa as his delegate. Her instructions are to visit each of the cities, and to report back to heaven on what she finds.
The first report is not long in coming: New York, Mother Teresa says, is filled with unimaginable sin and violence, and she is leaving immediately. Boston is no better and is full of child molesters. The cities of the South are everywhere full of heavy drinkers and sex offenders. Mother Teresa’s next stop is Chicago, but she can’t stand the depravity there for more than a few days, so she hops on a plane to Los Angeles… no word for three weeks.
God finally gets concerned, so he gets her number from information and calls her up.
‘Hello,’ God says.
‘Hello,’ comes a mellow voice, ‘this is Terry here. I am not home right now; if you would like to share your thoughts…’
Mother Teresa has become Terry; such is the impact of society. In Hollywood you cannot remain Mother Teresa very long. Rather than changing Hollywood, Hollywood will change you.
The whole world is full of competitive spirit, egoism, power trips behind beautiful names and labels. If you take those labels off and look inside, you will see an ugly reality. Even behind humbleness you will find ego; and purified ego, very subtle ego, is more dangerous than the ego of the gross people.
Behind your so-called celibates you will find all kinds of sexual perversions; behind your so-called religious people you will not even have thought about what is the reality at the back door. At the front door there is one face, at the back door there is another face; and this other face is diametrically opposite.
There is pure hypocrisy everywhere.
It is good, Devaprem, to understand clearly what you are doing. Because even if the goal seems right, if the means are wrong, you will never reach the right goal. The means have to be right for the end to be right. If just the end is right, and you don’t take much care about the means, you will be in for a great surprise when you reach the goal—wrong means cannot lead you to right goals. But that’s what is being taught to us—wrong means for right goals. Everybody has become trained in wrong means, and in the end, everybody finds only frustration, a great despair, a feeling that ‘I have wasted my life, but now it is too late.’ You cannot get back your life and the time that you have lost.
But I say to my people, you have reached me in the right time. There is still time for you to change everything, to change yourself completely into a new being, into a new man, into a rebellious spirit.
[ The Red Lion is temperamental and the most difficult to master. It’s faster and more agile than the others, but also more unstable. Its pilot needs to be someone who relies more on instincts than skill alone. Keith, you will fly the Red Lion ]