drop gun

this podcast was a mistake -griffin probably
  • “No, this is one of those moments where you learn to take care of your shit.”
  • “ It’s a very tense situation" “That’s true. It’s almost like I’ve designed it to be like that.”
  • “Oh, a minus one. Then you die. God, Travis. In trying to discern his fanciness your nose just starts bleeding and you fall over-”
  • “You and the box both drink POSION. And you survive but the box has died.”
  • “There’s a stapler in here- does anyone want the fucking stapler?”
  • “You run up and tear the box open. It explodes. You die.”
  • “I can’t believe you all went with the red shirts, but fine- You’re all wearing different shades of red.”
  • “Now, Griffin, I need you to describe both scenes simultaneously.” “I won’t do that. I’m very very tired.”
  • “So the end of that sentence that you cut off was ‘and so I won’t be putting up with any shit today,’ but the problem is that I already have.”
  • “okay you give them the medicine of not being on fire anymore”
  • “i don’t remember giving you a GUN.”
  • *drops dice* *has a meltdown*
  • the total helpless exhaustion when justin texts him a descriptor of taako’s t-rex transmutation
  • the whole bit about the pillow exoskeleton suit
  • infinite bag of boys
youtube

this delightful comedy of errors is my favorite playthrough GG has done in a while. so far special agent hanson, the most inept spy on planet fucking earth™, has:

  • accidentally lit a bomb on fire with a lighter while trying to disarm it
  • made a desperate attempt to save himself from poising by spraying window cleaner on his face
  • tried to break a window with a coffee cup after accidentally dropping his gun off the side of a building
  • caused at least four or five different virus outbreaks, because he unfortunately repeatedly forgot how to use his arms

mental illness doesn’t automatically equal murderous/abusive behavior, in fact mentally ill people are more likely to be victims of violence rather than ever being the perpetrators. stop demonizing mentally ill people just to divert attention away from needed gun reform. it’s insulting to the victims of gun violence and to actual mentally ill people.

Dean knows he’s fucked up. With his mom dead, Dad gone off the deep-end, and entrusted with the care of his brother at four years old, who wouldn’t be? Even without Sam’s constant this-is-not-how-a-normal-person-handles-grown-up-emotions bitchface, Dean would know he’s fucked in the head. Just a little. And hell, being a Hunter sure doesn’t help.

Thing is, though, Dean has never really, truly, realized how messed up he is until exactly this moment.

Because watching Cas take out five vamps mojo-less and mortal?

Major fucking turn on.

Which isn’t even the fucked part of this entire thing. Look, Cas is exhibiting his strength, his ability as a protector, as humanity’s hero from all things fugly and terrifying blahblahblah—attraction like that can be logicked. No, the honest-to-god clincher in this clusterfuck is that as Castiel, covered in blood and guts and sweat, finally swings his machete up onto his right shoulder like motherfucking Rambo, Dean has an epiphany. With Cas’s chest heaving like he just ran a marathon, body parts strewn all over the goddamn floor, that is when Dean Winchester realizes:

Oh god I love him.

And if that isn’t a one way ticket to therapy what the fuck is. 

Now, the standard operating procedure in a situation like this would be to totally ignore any and all feelings and push them so far down they pad the soles of his feet. But, this isn’t standard procedure. This is DEFCON 1. Because they’re in a room of dismembered bodies and Dean is so messed up and he’s also apparently in love and his palms are sweating and his mouth is dry and he’s pretty sure he just lost all motor control because yeah, yup, there’s his gun—dropped on the floor. And oh, his feet are moving. And he’s walking. And walking. 

“Dean..?”

Uh huh, yep, and now they’re kissing.

It’s probably the nastiest kiss of Dean’s life, if he’s being totally honest. Cas is stiff as a board, and they both have vamp innards on their faces so it’s… slimy, in a way Dean just really doesn’t want to think about. And when he pulls away, they stare at each other. 

Until, of course, the eldest and clearly most eloquent Winchester breaks the silence with: “So it turns out I’m in love with you.”

Which just, like, makes Dean want to jump off a bridge because he’s actually pretty sure he’s been in love with Cas for years and what the hell kind of confession is that??? Fuckin’ moron.

But instead of demanding an explanation, or blowing him off, or doing any of the myriad of things he’d be totally justified in doing, Castiel smiles like the sun is currently shining out of Dean Winchester’s freckled ass, and reaches forward to entwine their fingers. He wipes his mouth on a clean patch of his sleeve, applies a chaste kiss to the one place on Dean’s jaw not covered in gore, and walks out of the room (with Dean in tow). 

“Turns out I’m in love with you, too.”

Dean smiles like an utter idiot all the way home.

Inexorable (3-FINAL)

Plot: How does is feel to be arranged to be married to a cocky, arrogant Mafia leader? Once you look at his face, you think you’re lucky, but then he opens his mouth.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, Smut, Mafia au!

Warnings: dom!Jungkook, steamy hot tub sex yes

Notes: Last part, ya’ll. I hope you like it. I changed the gif because tumblr is being a meanie and it’s not letting me put in my own shit. This brings us to the end of this mini-series! I hope you enjoyed it. 3,430 Words

Part 2 | Part 3 (FINAL) | masterlist

Originally posted by minyoongislaysme

It was safe to say that there wasn’t as much tension between you and your husband anymore. Everything seemed so much more calm than before. Maybe it was because you guys barely talked; or maybe it was because he locked himself in his office all day, working.

An empty cabin was always nice, but you wanted to talk to him. You actually liked arguing with him; teasing him, and he would tease you back. His touch – it was gentle, even though he was being cocky. You hated to admit it, but you were slowly getting used to him.

Now it seemed like the both of you were more like frenemies rather than complete enemies. There was a sort of understanding, considering you were now aware that you were both forced into this marriage when you would rather stay single, and he would rather marry someone else.

“Princess,” Jungkook called you from behind the black kitchen island, his whiskey glass in his hand as he leaned against the countertop – you had no idea when he started calling you that, but it stuck. “I need some beer and and ice.”

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A Tribute to Scanlan Shorthalt

With the parting of ways that took place in Episode 85, we look back at some of our personal favorite moments of the gnome bard from the first 84 episodes of Critical Role.

Thanks to eponymous-rose for editing this video together, and thank you to Geek & Sundry and Critical Role for use of these clips! All content used with permission. Full list with in-show timestamps below the break.

Have you heard of Scanlan the sad?
Couldn’t ask for a better comrade.
He walked off with Kaylie
To learn on the daily
How to be the best Shorthalt dad.

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How the Batboys react to thier S/O snapping into Sass mode:

(Requested: Yes *The batboys response to their usually nice and calm S/O getting beyond pissed off and being sarcastic along with sassy*) 

Dick:

-hOLY SHIT HE THOUGHT IT WAS SO FUNNY 

-constantly teases you about it (bOII DON’T PLAY WITH FIRE) 

-couldnt keep his composure when you sassed a thug while on patrol (even Bruce was surprised tbh) 

-once he found out you can get pushed into sass mode he made it his mission to find out what exactly angered you to the point of sass 

-*munching on cereal* *nearly chokes when you sarcastically refer to Bruce as parent of the century* 

Jason: 

-honestly had to do a double take (he couldn’t believe it was you who said that) 

-he thought of you as his “good girl”, his “angel” so when you lost your shit and went off on a petty “Alternative-right” Gotham crime lord he couldn’t believe it  

-the insults wouldn’t cease *YOU WERE D R A G G I N G THE GUY* (both in insults and combat) 

-When the guy threatened you and you followed up with “baby hands”, he dropped his gun and just lost it

-(He didn’t stop you, he just sat back and watched the show until you were done -since he himself would’ve done even worse to a white supremacist tbh) 

Tim: 

-he now officially sees you as too good for him 

-(Mainly because he stuttered trying to comeback at Damian *but no worries you stepped in there and S L A Y E D for him* 

-as much as he says he hates your sass due to his brothers’ insults about you being his “rescue”, he lowkey LOVES watching you go off for him 

-it gets to the point where he uses you as his weapon (unleashes your hellfire when a criminal doesn’t wanna cooperate) 

- “OOO you’re gonna get your gilfriend? I’m soooo scared” *literally grabs the dude by the neck and slams him against the wall* “It’s fiance, you sexist ass-clown”  

Damian:  

-literally choked (Alfred had to slap him on the back a few times to get the champagne through his windpipe) 

-he always saw you as his dainty beloved, so when you dropped some shade on a Trump industries representative during a Wane Enterprises Gala he had to take a moment to collect himself

-”Not here *cackle* beloved” *Tries his best to stop his cackling* *Fails to do so* (Bruce gave him the look that told him to reel you back but damn he wanted you to keep going) 

-he couldn’t help but just watch you S L A Y in awe (he’s honestly so proud like wHAT) 

-”look at my precious habibti, destroying men’s egos with a smile, so petty, so perfect” *BRAGS ENDLESSLY*  

Major Crush

Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Laser Tag brings out Steve Rogers’ competitive side and Reader loves it.

Word Count: 1,500

Warnings: Explicit Language, Dirty Talk, Groping

A/N: Loosely based on this post. It wasn’t originally supposed to be dirty, but here we are. I don’t own the gifs.

Originally posted by jxmsbuchxn

The training room was plunged into a bright dark. The various colours of the glowing neon lights cast a psychedelic atmosphere in the large room. Laughs and music could be heard all over the room, but the loudest noise was the one of the toy gun. It made a high pitched sound everytime someone pulled the trigger.

“Who thought it was a good idea to let Tony watch ‘How I met you mother’?” You screamed, running with Natasha towards the closest wall and hid behind it. Clint was perched on top of a block, shooting at the both of you.

Tony found sudden interest in Barney Stinson, a thirty-something playboy living in New York whose hobbies involved sex, catchphrases, drinking and laser tag. A striking resemblance.

“Same person who’s shooting at us.” She panted, hugging the plastic gun to her chest. She took a deep breath. “Cover me!”

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You’re a Tease (Eggsy Unwin Imagine)

A/N: Hey friends! Sorry for such a long hiatus, but I’m on break now so expect more fics! Hope this is okay, anon, and thank you to everyone who reads these strange little posts. <3 Love to all of you!

“Roxy,” You moaned, shoving your head into the pillow as your friend rolled her eyes sympathetically, “He’s so cute. I hate it,”

“I know, Y/N. You’re so into him, it’s kind of disgusting,” She stopped speaking when you threw the pillow at her and tucked your legs up onto the sofa. Roxy followed suit, patting your shoulder and slipping off her jacket.

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cnn.com
'Hero' exchanged fire with gunman, then helped chase him down
Were it not for a local resident who confronted the gunman and another who helped chase him down, the deadliest shooting in Texas history could have claimed even more lives.
By Saeed Ahmed, Doug Criss and Joe Sterling, CNN

Since the names of all the victims have not yet been released, let’s talk about the two men who stopped the gunman before police were able to get to the scene.

One of the men who is unnamed was exchanging gunfire with the shooter, after the shooter killed the 26 church-goers. Knowing that the shooter was wearing protective body-armor, he managed to hit the shooter twice on the neck and once on the side. The shooter dropped his gun and then got in his truck and took off, that was when the other man (Johnnie Langendorff) and the first man chased the shooter with Langendorff’s vehicle. After the shooter lost control of his vehicle and came to a stop in a ditch, the man who was armed kept his rifle aimed at him and urged him to get out. By the time the police came on sight, the gunman had died from those injuries. 

We should give credit where credit is due. 

3

    You hadn’t meant to do it. Certainly not when Dean was within earshot. But it was right there, eight-legged and on your damn desk, and it had to go. Even if you already knew you’d never hear the end of it as you heard Dean’s boots thundering down the hallway.

     “Y/N?!” Dean called, bursting through your door with his gun raised. The eldest Winchester gave the room a quick once-over and then settled his gaze on you, assessing for damage with frantic eyes. He lowered his gun just the slightest bit. “Y/N? What happened? … Are you okay?”

     You smiled sheepishly at Dean and walked forward, pulling the gun from his calloused fingers with a gentle tug. “I’m okay, it’s just – uh …”

     “What? What’s wrong?”

      There was no apparent danger and you’d already dropped the gun on the bed, but Dean’s voice was still edged with concern. So you stepped aside and wordlessly pointed at the desk.

     The look Dean shot back would make Lucifer himself quiver in his boots.

     “A spider?” he said calmly. “You screamed because of a spider?”

     “It’s a big spider.”

     “It’s the size of my pinky nail!”

     “Yeah, well, you have fat fingernails …”

     Dean just rolled his eyes and reached for your desk with his bare hand, intending to solve your bug problem, but you caught his wrist mid-swing and stopped him from crushing the eight-legged pest.

     “Wait, you need to use a tissue!” you cried.

     His eyebrows knit together. “Why?”

     “Because you’ll get spider guts on you!”

      “So?” Dean just stared at you blank-faced. “Y/N, you do realize you’re a hunter, right? You’ve been covered in monster bits more times than I can count. How is this any different?”

     “Because this is spider guts, Dean! Spider guts.”

     “… And?”

     “Spiders are the spawn of Satan!”

     “Okay, we’ve met Satan and I don’t think -”

     “Satan, I tell you! Satan!”

     You ran across the room and quickly pulled a Kleenex from the box on your nightstand, passing it to Dean and backing up a step in case he missed his target. A motion he noted, if his raised eyebrows were any indication, which only served to make him look even less impressed.

     “Okay. I’m killing the spider,” Dean said, holding up the Kleenex for you see, “with a tissue.” You opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off before you could, already knowing exactly what you were going to say. “And I won’t miss.”

     And he didn’t.

     The spider was gone in a matter of seconds and Dean was tossing the crumpled up Kleenex into the trash on his way out the door, looking over his shoulder before leaving and flashing a quick smile. “You’re lucky I love you.”


A/N: Okay, I don’t usually put Author’s Notes on imagines because they’re so short but in this case I felt like I should because I really don’t think this is my best work. I decided to post it anyway because I agonized over this fic for too long to not put it up ( @skymoonandstardust knows what I’m talking about and thank you for putting up with me, girl!) but I just wanted you guys to know that I’m fully aware it’s not that good. Apologies, friends.

*These gifs are not mine, both the gifs are from Google Images*

Masterlist

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When America and France are lost

England : I wonder where frog face and America are, do you know Canada?
Canada : I got this.
Canada : EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA’S FAVORITE FIGHTING FRENCHMAN
America : *breaks into window* LAFAYETTE
France : *busts through door* I’M TAKING THIS HORSE BY THE REINS MAKIN’ REDCOATS REDDER WITH BLOOD STAINS
Canada : Found them.