the most important part being that chekov & sulu are the camera guys and are constantly just making awful jokes like “ohhh hey look at camera man #2, he must be a ghost cuz he’s drop dead gorgeous” while shooting them up and down, bones in the background being like “RECORD THE GODDAMN EVIDENCE YOU DUMBASSES”
here are the roles:
Kirk is the main personality/host
Spock is the debunker guy who has witnessed some weird shit but like…totally doesn’t wanna admit to it
Uhura is the clairvoyant & talks to them ghostsssss
Bones is ghost & folklore expert (he’s probs a teacher at a community college or something) while Chapel is his assistant and main research
Janice is their network manager
SCOTTY IS TECH FOR THE COMMAND CENTER & SOUND
Chekov and Sulu trying to spook each other out.
Sulu has a pretty good brave face, but Chekov has figured out that the easiest way to rattle Sulu is to pretend to BE rattled. (It only seems to work when Chekov does it, but if he startles and looks sketchy or goes unnaturally still, Sulu starts to lose his cool.)
Chekov, meanwhile, is made of iron. Nothing unnerves him. Jump scares, creepy noises, shadows–he is unphased by all of it. Except spiders. SPIDERS. He sees something skitter across the floor in the shadows and he LOSES HIS SHIT. (Which Sulu abuses, naturally. “Oh, hey, Pav, c'mere, I think you have a–oh, yeah, you’ve got a bit of cobweb in your hair…”)
Here’s the kicker:
Kirk just wants to prove to the world that the Paranormal is REAL. He’s had dozens of encounters–he’s like a damned paranormal magnet–and capturing proof is the whole purpose of their expedition. But EVERY SINGLE TIME he’s got an Actual Entity present, Chekov and Sulu are screwing around in the background, flirting relentlessly or playing footsie or snickering to each other about some DUMB JOKE or they’ve got the cameras down or WHATEVER, and he NEVER MANAGES TO GET THE FOOTAGE/AUDIO/EVIDENCE THAT HE NEEDS.
(Also, Spock is never in the room at the same time, by some Strange Cosmic Coincidence, so Kirk is always like OH M YGOD DID YOU SEE THAT? DID YOU SEE THAT?! I TOLD YOU! SULU REPLAY THAT. SHE WAS THERE, A FULLY-MANIFESTED APPARITION, OH MY GOD, I’M GONNA BE FUCKING FAMOUS! YES! And Spock is watching with that slightly disapproving, holier-than-thou expression as Sulu rewinds the footage and camera shows nothing but Chekov’s shoelaces for like three minutes while they talk about going to the movies on Tuesday.)